Gisela's Pregnancy Dilemma

Frank and her mother chatted about his activities at school. She was very complimentary about his scholarly accomplishments...talks, articles, and the initial chapters of a book on European fascism and its consequences.

Dorothy had been raised in a very conservative environment but had been surrounded by ultra-progressive classmates during her college days.

Susana's father was also conservative but was tolerant toward other points of view. He could not understand many of the political talking points of the current generation. In business, he had learned that you kept your political ideas and affiliations to yourself. There would be unfortunate consequences if you didn't.

"I hope you'll be comfortable here," Susana said tentatively as her mother looked around the guest bedroom in the apartment.

"Frankly, it looks very nice. You're lucky to have found such a comfortable and homey place. When your father and I were newly married, we lived in a hovel in New York with rats, cockroaches, and incredibly noisy neighbors, most of whom spoke a foreign language. And it wasn't cheap."

Susana was surprised to hear her mother who was a society matron and had made her debut in social circles, speak with such candor.

"Those were our salad days. In fact, Marsha was born just as we were moving to a more upscale apartment on the West side. I remember how tight money was and how we struggled."

Dorothy's honesty and frankness was something that Susana had never heard before. It suddenly dawned on her that she too had been very young, in love, and had experienced difficult economic times. Maybe her pregnancy was a blessing in disguise; they could finally speak directly to one another and not be judgmental.

Susana thought about her Episcopalian upbringing and how she had deviated along the way. Her daughter "in progress" was not going to be alienated from religious beliefs. How she and Frank met would be difficult to explain, but when the time came she would be honest. As a matter of fact, it was providential how they came together. As the priest had said prior to their wedding "Adam and Eve were 'anti-textiles' in their day."

Dorothy and Susana unpacked some of the presents and Susana was thrilled to find infant clothing and childhood baubles they would need in a few months. Susana was overcome with emotion; she put her arms around her mother and began to cry.

"Now, now, sweetheart. I've been at times a little hard on you. But you'll find out, there's a very fine line between love and discipline. You've gone through your wild years...I sincerely hope...and have found your way. We all go through that phase."

She got a tissue and wiped her daughter's eyes. "I was no Pollyana in my college years. Your father and I were in love...and I mean in love. We didn't hold back. We were "careful" but we were very intimate. Many times. In those days, it wasn't as common as it is today. I don't regret a second, a minute, an hour or day of the way we lived. I knew I had found my prince and that's was that."

Susana, in retrospect, wasn't shocked or rueful about their behavior at Cap d'Agde in light of what her mother had said. She knew she had found her special person, the one she was going to spend her life with.

The many times they had "let themselves go" in France fit into a pattern of unrestricted freedom in sexual matters. It felt right at the time, and now it continued to feel "authorized" by a higher power. Their instincts had shown them at the time and continued to show them how to form a conjugal bond. She always felt that some hidden force had put them together...something she couldn't explain.

Before the evening was over, just as they were finishing dinner, the phone rang. Susana answered and was surprised to hear Catherine Wildridge's voice. "I'm sorry to bother you at this time, Susana, but if it's convenient, could I talk with your mother?"

Susana handed the phone to her mother and whispered

"Catherine Wildridge".

"Catherine...It is so nice to hear your voice!" Dorothy exclaimed.

"Dorothy, I have a proposal to make. It may not be the appropriate time, but could you and your daughter drop by tomorrow at one-ish. I would love to see you and have you meet my family. It would be brunch. Oh, if Frank would like to come, please invite him as well. I know you will be coming to the reception in a few days but we won't have a chance to really talk. I would like to catch up on many things without being interrupted."

Dorothy quickly explained the invitation to the others. Susana nodded but Frank remembered a faculty meeting at eleven that he had to attend.

"Yes, Catherine, that would be fine. Frank, however, has to attend a faculty meeting at school. We'll look forward to seeing you and your family."

They chatted for a few more minutes and then hung up. "Well, things are a-poppin'," Dorothy said with a laugh. "That will be wonderful, to get together with Catherine and see everyone."

"You are sure this isn't going to interfere with something you've got planned?" she asked Susana.

"Oh, no. I've pretty well finished Christmas shopping and wrapping presents," Susana reassured her mother. "I'm very fond of Dean Wildridge. She's been extremely friendly and understanding with the pregnancy and other matters."

"Well, it will surely be a pleasure for me. What a coincidence! Speaking of guests and surprises, Marsha tells me that you're expecting a visit from your German friends that you met in southern France."

"Yes, that will be right after your departure. They'll be spending New Year's Eve and a week or so with us. We got to know them very well in France. We've stayed in touch via Zoom and e-mail. They got married in August but we weren't able to attend the wedding.

"After being with us, they've scheduled another week for visiting some tourist sites on the East Coast before returning to Hamburg."

Dorothy Carlson looked at her daughter with concern. "Susana, please don't push yourself too hard. At six months, you're still vulnerable to pregnancy complications. Promise me you'll try to calm down and not overdo it. This is your first child. Be careful."

"I feel fine. When I get tired, I do rest. I promise. Rudy and Gisela are easy people to entertain. Frank will do most of the driving and heavy lifting. I'll be a bystander for the most part."

"I need to call your father and let him know everything went well. Would you like to say hello?"

Susana was surprised to hear a slight tremor in her father's voice. He was always the authoritarian type, but now seemed much more emotional. After the call, Susana put her arms around her mother's shoulders and said, "I wish we could all be together at this time of year. Next Christmas, for sure we'll be visiting in Wellesley."

At the airport, Susana and her mother hugged with deep affection. Susana realized, after seeing her mother's happiness in chatting with her Harvard friend, Catherine Wildridge, that she had lived a life completely different from the one she had imagined as a child.

She was far from being the disciplinarian and socialite she had always assumed she was. Her mother's youth was not that much different from her own. She had known passion both with her husband and quite possibly with other men during her college years. She had strived to be a responsible parent and a loving mother, but in her manner. Her conservatism had grown with the passing of time.

______________________________________________________

Meeting Rudy and Gisela at the airport was an emotional affair. They looked virtually the same. Rudy had let his hair grow longer and Gisela was dressed in a stylish manner that contrasted with her casual beach clothing at Cap d'Agde. After the usual hugs and kisses on cheeks, Frank packed their luggage into the car and drove them around Orlando for a while before getting on the Interstate.

Rudy was very talkative and asked questions about their jobs, how Susana was getting along, and other issues about adjusting to a new life in Florida. Frank questioned them about life in Hamburg and Germany in general.

Once they arrived at the apartment, both Rudy and Gisela were surprised to see how "spacious" it was. Studio apartments in Germany were smaller and more compact. Anything else was very expensive.

After having a copious lunch, they were given a tour of the town and university facilities. Rudy commented on how "new" the university seemed. In Germany, university facilities that hadn't been bombed during the war were very old by modern standards and were located in the heart of town, not in distant suburbs. Frank admitted that Florida's population was rapidly expanding and educational facilities were being built to satisfy increasing public demands.

Seeing Jeffrey's car parked in the faculty lot, Frank decided to stop and introduce his guests to Jeffrey and to other members of the department who might be in their offices.

Jeffrey was very cordial and mentioned that he was looking forward to their being at the New Year's Eve party at his house. A few other faculty members came by to chat. Katrina, the Russian-born Political Science professor, was pleasant but a little aloof. Frank concluded that the hostility between Russians and Germans was still a barrier to effective communication...even now--years after the war.

After the evening meal, Susana asked if they were tired or suffering from "jet lag", coming all the way from Hamburg. Rudy said that they were tired, but very eager to chat with their hosts before retiring. Gisela was also in the mood to converse.

They began by rehashing the very insouciant days they spent at Cap d'Agde and laughed about certain occurrences under the tent.

"It's a miracle we weren't arrested for public malfeasance or even worse got impregnated the way we lived in those days," Susana commented. "We were careful nonetheless, up to a point."

Gisela chuckled but then turned serious. "I guess you know that Rudy and I have been looking for ways to get pregnant. It's been almost three years and nothing has happened. We've seen many doctors and specialists. Most of the treatments are either costly or experimental with no guarantee of success. "

Frank added that he had been looking for fertility opportunities in the area, but they were all expensive and required referral from a primary physician. Susana said that she had inquired herself, but there was nothing immediately available. Everything required a lengthy series of treatments and referral from a physician.

Gisela explained that unfortunately Rudy' sperm was not active enough to fertilize her eggs. They had considered using a donor's sperm but that posed many problems about health records and compatibility. They were not willing to become parents from a complete stranger's sperm even though there would be a physical match. Gisela admitted it was her reluctance and not Rudy's to reject this solution. In America, donor sperm banks were prevalent and widely used for a number of reasons.

Nonetheless, Gisela admitted, there was the possibility of being impregnated by someone of a completely different emotional or genetic background. Sometimes records were not verified and donors could simply lie on the forms to get their money. Some college students had made sperm donation a side-career to earn spending money to supplement other sources of income.

She even confessed that very close friends in Germany had volunteered to help them out. However, both she and Rudy had reservations about paternity issues that might arise with those who had offered to help.

The proximity of the donor would invite intrusion into the life of the child that he would consider to be in part his own. It would be difficult, if not embarrassing, to have a court order issued to prevent the donor from having any contact with "his" child that he had willingly fathered.

Rudy coughed a little and then moved closer to Frank and Susana. "I remember those evenings under the tent at Cap d'Agde. We were sexually detached from all sense of moral responsibility. We just had sex when we wanted to. If it felt good, we did it, especially that wild evening when we switched partners. We led a life that was beyond the pale of conventional social standards. But that was a few years ago and we were free and unencumbered.

"Now, it's quite different. We have jobs, responsibilities, and you two will soon be parents. It's really great to see Susana so happy and pregnant. We are a little envious, of course. In a sense, that's why we would like to ask you an important favor, a gift of life if I can put it in those terms."

Both Frank and Susana were puzzled. They glanced at each other and Susana said, "Rudy, we would be willing to help you in any way we can. But, as you said, those were wild, irresponsible times. I don't regret what we did, but we need to put everything in perspective. You found your wife under that tent, and I certainly found my husband and soul mate as well. We were wild but we were blessed."

Gisela pulled her chair up to Rudy's side and took his hand. "Susana," she began hesitantly, "this is a request that Rudy and I have thought a lot about, something we feel would join all of us more closely but not be an infringement on our friendship.

"Let me get right to the point. You don't have to answer tonight, but we would appreciate your taking our situation and proposal into account."

Gisela cleared her throat and said, "We would be grateful, even delighted if Frank could donate his sperm to get me pregnant. I know this is something you didn't expect, so I'll let you think about it. But it needs to be done before we leave for Germany. I'm ovulating now and this opportunity won't occur again."

Frank had a moment of complete surprise and didn't know what to say. Susana stared at Gisela wordlessly with her mouth slightly agape.

"Gisela, this has caught us completely by surprise. I wish you had mentioned this before," Frank answered finally. "There would be legal and professional concerns if I committed to something like this.

"For the reasons you outlined, as a donor-father I would be in part responsible for the child if the insemination is successful. I think I am healthy but one never knows what genetic flaws may crop up.

" Secondarily, the insemination would have to be done at a medical clinic for it to be sterile and successful. I don't want to sound insensitive to your needs, but I can't go on record as someone who has fathered a child by proxy for a German couple. American mores, especially in the state of Florida, are not as lax or understanding as in Germany. My job could well be in jeopardy. For obvious reasons, it would not be feasible to expose myself to any risk, especially not now. I'm certain that Susana feels the same as I do.

"Along these lines, have you two given any thought to adopting a child?"

Gisela frowned and looked at Rudy. "Yes, we have. In Germany, as in America, it is very difficult to adopt a healthy, very young child of German heritage...Caucasian if you will. We are not Nazis but we believe that the child should reflect the racial characteristics of the parents. We cannot raise a child of Turkish origin or any other ethnicity. We are just like that."

Susana took Frank's hand and spoke up. "Gisela, I am very sympathetic to your wish to be a mother. In fact, we had not planned our pregnancy, but we feel it is a blessing. Sometimes, in these cases, if you keep trying to get pregnant, it occurs by accident. I know quite a few women where this has happened."

Gisela replied with a knowing tilt of her head. "Susana, this is a situation where we have to choose between a known donor who is very fertile, and a hypothetical pregnancy that might occur two, five, or more years from now. Believe it or not, a doctor gave us this same advice that we rejected."

"We value your friendship, but in this instance I don't see how we can help you," Frank said, shaking his head.

Rudy then spoke in a very deliberate manner. "I understand all the objections...moral, professional, and medical...you might have from what you've said so far. However, there is one way in which there will be no trace of your participating in the insemination." He paused and then looked Frank in the eyes. "Think back on Cap d'Agde, under the tent, when we were drunk and reckless and we switched partners. Gisela was taking a contraceptive at that time, so nothing happened. But, what I am asking, is that you think of our wishes.

"We would of course keep your participation confidential. We would even, if you prefer, draw up a document that would release you from any parental responsibility. We would name you as the godfather of the child in the event you might want to stay in touch..."

Susana interrupted and said in an incredulous voice. "Are you saying you want Frank to get Gisela pregnant by old-fashioned sexual intercourse? How on earth do you know this will be successful?"

"We have consulted fertility experts on this matter," Gisela answered. "If intercourse is spaced out over a week's time, the sperm will remain in my vagina and uterus for several days and will fertilize any egg it encounters. Since I'm ovulating, it's almost a certainty that pregnancy will occur."

Susana stood up and paced the room. "Gisela, you are our guest and we owe you respect and hospitality. By the same token, you cannot make these demands on Frank or me without prior consultation and agreement.

"This is a shock, to be honest. You are suggesting that you and my husband will have regular, unprotected intercourse for a week to get you pregnant? We once had a similar situation in France but you chose to devote yourself to Rudy and I chose Frank. I simply cannot lie in my bed while you and Frank are having sex on a daily basis hoping that you will be eventually fertilized. Put yourself in my position."

Gisela bowed her head and began to cry. "Forgive me, Susana. But you are our last hope. You don't know how much it means to me to be a mother. I feel it is my destiny in life to raise a child. Rudy is also eager to be a father. We would be outstanding parents."

Frank whispered something in Susana's ear. She moved back and shook her head vigorously, but Frank insisted. "Gisela," he said. "There is one thing I can suggest and it may not be practical at all. The professor whom you met today and who will be holding the New Year's Eve party, is not only a naturist but also a very free-thinking individual. I might approach him, with your approval, to see if he would be willing to impregnate you. He has two children and is very fertile. He is still young, relatively speaking, and something could be arranged. He has tenure at the university and his job will be much more secure if anything gets out."

"Yes, I remember him. The blond one who is very talkative and Eurocentric."

"I'll be glad to broach this subject with him prior to the New Year's party. He explained that some guests stay very late and do nude swimming in his pool. If he is willing, that might be a good time...with his wife's approval, of course...to begin your intercourse sessions in one of the ground floor bedrooms. If not, well I don't have any alternatives to offer you."

Rudy and Gisela said they would discuss this possibility if Frank didn't feel comfortable with their initial suggestion. They could all talk it over in the meantime.

Frank and Susana wished them good night and got ready for bed. It took them a long time before they fell asleep. They talked about the ramifications of Rudy and Gisela's proposal at length.

Gisela's attitude bothered Susana. She was overlooking the numerous problems that could arise from fathering someone else's child. Eventually, the child would find out that Frank or Jeffrey were his father and make attempts to get in touch. What would the legal rights truly be?