All Comments on 'Goddess of Song Pt. 03'

I will be looking for the next chapter.

Looking forward to the next chapter.

Great to hear you are enjoying the story!

Pt. 04 (the final in the 4-part series) has been written but I'll probably go through it one more time before submitting it.

Looking for next one .

the tension resolves a great deal with the reunification and vindication. If you are going to tweak this at some point, I think you likely would need Damien to offer more of a personal, fulsome description of his life, his regret about high school behavior, and an explanation of how his maturity has changed him.

Thx Drizdart. I really like that suggestion.

The paragraph about Damien realizing his immature action in high school was laid out in Pt. 1 & 2. In Pt. 1 the flashback ended with him at the end of freshman year in college with depression. In Pt. 2 there was a flashback on the first night of his job right before Loretta woke up.

I realize I may have not done enough to describe his regret. It was difficult to gauge just how much I should write about it. I was worried too much description of his personal feelings would burden the readers. I also tried to use more action than words to describe Damien's maturity, but of course, that may have been too subtle.

If I do go back to the earlier chapters again, I would try to be more specific "he did X instead of Y and this was because he's no longer an asshole" hahahaa

Pt. 04 and the "bonus" story is pending approval. At the end of the "bonus" story, I describe the thought process for creating Damien.

I'm working on another story right now that is also a character full of regret and this time, there is a LOT of thinking going on (since, well, it's a drama and not an action story) Maybe I am improving over time :-)