All Comments on 'Godsend Ch. 02 - Return to Sender'

There is a very big question now about this story - Why did David take those actions against Scott's company? It makes no sense. The act was done months ago, way before Allison decide to cheat on him. Why wreck your own company, to destroy another company?

If this is where the story ends I'd give it maybe a three

She is still a lying cheating whore that he seems to be planning to keep

hopefully now that he is in control he can con the bitch into paying top dollar to buy the biz and he an blow town

they all deserve each other.

once a cheat always a cheat. she jumped into it way too easily

Poor ending

please continue

All she is getting is his side of the story.

She just wants to fuck him and cheat what a bitch.

Cant read this story as part1 contradicts part2 so gave up half way down 1st page, please stop posting or get an editor to help you.

Thanks for the story ribnitin.

Gave you 2*s because of the characters ability to see the future 👳. But everyone still fails 😖.

I do believe you earn 5*s . For ending the story. No more chapters are needed, wanted nope...... I won't tell anyone about this and I hope you can forget and move forward 😁👍.

Good luck, I'm

AMerryman

cheating slut 1*

Brilliant flip of the story and characters. She is still a cheater but it seems her husband has probably been pushing her away for some time. She needs to get a divorce and make her children her priority before committing to Scott. Maybe find someone new and leave these sneaky guys behind.

This is from the POV of a guy being scammed. We were warned about making assumptions. I think you need to number your chapters, tell the reader if there is more to come and find a better place to break the chapters. You have an interesting plot but it seems more like a romance now than an LW story.

Great turnaround! Thanks for posting, that was unexpected!

At the very least Scott should just have all the PROTECTED sex with her he wants. She can't be trusted and he doesn't need her money. Just have sex and be done with it. Do not marry her, do not have her move in.

At first I liked how it was going but once they had sex it was over for me.

Why the hell would he even consider taking her back?

She cruelly left him.

She has kids with the man that tried to destroy him and his business.

Unless she has a time machine to go back and undo all the damage she caused and get rid of her two bastards from her evil "husband", there's no "happy ending" for these 2.

A godsend would be you quit submitting stuff.

Why did they do it. What happened to White? Why would any of his former employees want to come back, unless they knew the truth (we sure don't).

I don't know any more.

Good job.

Is David the problem, or is it Scott? I cant really tell, the writing is not clear, everything is a bit jumbled

Too many inconsistencies with the first story. This made no sense. Why would the uncle not know if David was doing something wrong? How do you go from liquidation to him keeping the company and the house.

Sorry but too incoherent.

Nobody likeable in this story. Three people and their partners in crime lying, plotting and cheating each other.

BTB, and her family to

Scott is a rat assbag.

I meant to hit 3***. Still don't trust her!

Allison is one gullible bitch.

This isn't a ch2 it's an alternative both need continuations but why is the second one Mark as a ch2. If ones the benefits husband and the other the first boyfriend then should the bitch be on some power play or something and mental ill for they still don't add up together If that it' like written by 2 different people with rough guide lines of the characters and didn't read over the others idea

This is like a TV show is filled with nothing but horrid people.

Hard to like a story when you cant like the people.

Too many twists and turns. Too hard to follow. Too many bad actors. Too bad.

This sounds like all the 'muricans we see in the news.

Except no guns, can't be real.

The characters seem to have nothing to offer anyone.

You seem to be writing two different stories using the same characters and with the same title.

This was a jumbled mess of nonsense which didn't really link in with part one, so for that reason and the fact that all the characters are garbage human beings you get a low score.

but confusion is not drama, obfuscation is not suspense, contradiction is not complexity, and morphing the characters and deceiving the readers is clumsy and amateurish.

It is a very good plot, and a very awkward execution. So Scott is actually a good guy, who is fucking some guy's wife, and David is an unprincipled business man who wooed some ditzy bitch and married her and gave her two children and as far as we know has never cheated or betrayed her, and the woman they share is really confused and innocent, but a wealthy sophisticated worldly cheating whore, with the good guy.

Its a bitch being this stupid. You should probably be submitting your stories to the Yale Quarterly, or the Harvard Review.

I will wait to rate the entire story once it is complete, or you just quit.

boy meets princess ...who entertains moments with a rival for her love,

boy suffers accidental or deliberate family loss,

princess abandons boy in his darkest hour, ditto extended family and minister,

rival steps up to comfort princess and clears the bases with shot to the center field bleachers,

rival conspires to destroy boy's legacy...was princess involved?

boy abandons family legacy with malice aforethought,

lawyers win... subplots dead ended for now ?

16 comments cloaked ?

this is the exact story as ch 1

Boring......

2**

Cheating and double crossing in a confusing second chapter. No one is what they seem here. It needs another chapter badly.

This doesn't seem like the same two characters to me.

I get the need for a twisted plot scenario.

Hard to figure out if anyone was worthy of trust so the answer must have been NO

We see light at the end of the tunnel...Hope it's not another train. We'll just have to wait and see. LP

She wasn't "stolen" from Scott. She chose to leave him and go on va-ca. other than that a good "who-dun-it" with no true ending in sight yet. So far, 5 stars.

Eh, I think the story seemed to change as it went on. First, she was hiding her true billionaire identity from everyone, then she finds out that somehow her husband that didn't even know she owned the company he was CEO of, somehow managed to hide some dirty actions towards Scott's company from her? Her attitude and overall personality shifted several times too, which just made her all that much more of an unlikable character. At the end, his statement of her being an entitled bitch was probably most accurate. The highest I could give this was a 3*. Thanks for the effort, but not as good as some of your other work.

The slimy Scott with subversive intentions morphed into the victim. She went from a protective wife and mother to a schemer and adulterer. Nope, sorry, perhaps reread the first one to stay in character.

The first chapter needed to be rewritten when the author chose to turn the story line in this direction. It makes no sense that Scott goes from begging her to sleep with him to refusing sex and bringing up her obligations as a wife and mother. In addition, the thought dialog of the wife in the first chapter is not consistent with her now revealed role as the owner of the conglomerate that owns her husband's company. This is an interesting twist on the original plot direction but the two chapters are not concordant as written.

WTF?? Did the authors change? This has turned into a shambolic wreck.

Are these even the same characters?