All Comments on 'Godsend'

what was the point of this again?

Can't score it without ending

good start more please

Very promising story but only 2 start due to not really ending it, even if the vague offer of a sequel is mentioned. The wife has conflicting view points, apart from the fact she's wanting to cheat, one minute it's she loves her husband and kids and dissent want to hurt her husband the next it's running of with the kids so her husband can't find her. She really comes across as a self entitled bitch, even though she's known her husband since high school she's never told her husband she's rich which implies she dissent trust or respect him and gets indignant when her husband is hurt about her cheating which is what she did as she planned it for weeks, of this is anything to go by the husband and kids would be better off without her in their lives, she's dissent come across as showing any contrition or remorse, she's knew after the reverend phoned later he'd work it it she didn't phone and apologies it try to explain just ignored it.

Not sure what I just read. The character makes no sense. Not badly written in terms of writing, but the story just work. She went to go see old boyfriend, fling? upgrading? Side-piece? What? She owns the world and no one knows? Her parents who helping with the kids back home don't know?

A fantastic start and layout, to what could be one of the greats on Lit!

It would be a great disservice to not carry the plot through, to what could be so many different outcomes. The teaser phone call to Scott at the end is such a cliffhanger.

Please carry on!

good hubby and cumbag for lover.shit don't always run down hill.

well there went any chance of redemption.

This has to go on. It's underdeveloped at the moment and ended too abruptly. A provisional 4. Ignore anonymous.

Abstaining from voting till series is finished, all signs lead to RAAC. Good wind up though.

So she lies to her husband, conspires to cheat on him with an old flame, gets caught and then contemplates effectively kidnapping their children and hiding out in Singapore because he's mad at her? And to add to it, in the end she decides to go ahead and do what she originally came to do anyway?

If you set out to make an irredeemable cunt of a of a character, kudos. If that wasn't your intention, I have no idea what you could possibly have been going for.

After reading through this I no choice but to say that this is pretty good so far. :-)

The story reads well and kept my attention which is high praise since I tend to slip into 'Squirrel Mode' too easily. Nice twist with the capital corporation. Look forward to the next installment.

I hope?

So she is a secret billionaire, but doesn't do the slightest bit of research on her lovers?

.

She wants her husbands public equality, but privately shoved him into a job where she can control his every action?

.

She claims to love him, but in reaction to him being upset about her being a lying fuck slut she is planning to kidnap his children to a foreign country and prevent him from ever seeing them again?

.

Also isnt it going to look suspicious for his "boss" to tell him to go forward site unseen (pun intended) to purchase a bankrupt business, move the headquarters of the business he currently runs to the failing business' city, run the second business personally as well, and do it all in less than 72 hours? all at a loss thereby opening themselves up to lawsuits for failing their fiduciary duty to all their other investors?

Great story and I hope you get around to write more chapters. I do like the idea of a cheater who isn't a total immoral basket case, those stories tend to be two-dimensional. The main character here is more interesting. She knows on the one hand that she fucked up but she is also an arrogant, self-centered woman. And especially the remark about "self-righteous indignation" says a lot about her moral compas. It shows her arrogant attitude of "yeah, yeah, I fucked up. I am 'sorrry', now stop feeling sorry for yourself and forgive me". I would really like to see what kind of person she will become. Will she really step up to the plate and atone for her sin (which is always possible if you are willing to truly atone, sorry to anger the BTB-crowd who probably will disagree with me and are shouting 'cuck' as we speak) or will she truly become the self-centered trust-fund bitch that showed trough in that single remark?

Lovely story, can't wait to find out what happens next.

Don't leave us hanging like that. Please finish the story!

Really great start. Please continue the storyline!

FINISH IT

Need a second Part for the following consequence

Good storie needs more but don’t go down the wrong road.

....it’s no better than 3*. Holding off scoring for now.

Seems Allison is normally a dishonest person. Lied to her husband and family about who she is, what she was doing, lied to the Rev., lied to the trustee, to her lover, her uncle?

“if I wasn’t a happily married woman” ?????? She flew to taste her lovers giant cock, so how happy is she in her marriage and her life? Lying to herself.

~Enkidu

Got bored with your own story? FINISH the damn story!

Wow i hate her! You will get a ton of comments on this story. I guess that will beca sign that you wrote to hit a nerve and did.

She lies about who she is, her reason for a trip, manipulates her husband with her wealth and plans to engage in extra-marital sex.

It sounds like she will destroy both Pierce and her husband. Pierce deserves his fate the husband, from what we know from the story, does not.

She is just another obscenely wealthy self-serving amoral piece of trash that in the end only cares about herself.

seesaw of self destructive behavior conflated with international intrigue. And with all of the we are back to don't we ever get over our high school romances.

I hope for Chapter 2 or a better ending. Sounds to me that she is giving up on husband for the loser in life. I pray for another or two....

I stopped reading once the Reverend made his second call to David and lied for Allison. I was tempted to give 1 star because he abandoned morals and is covering her cheating for money.

I gave 2 stars because at least your story is creative.

I hope this heads to the conclusion I hope for, sooooo don’t keep me on pins and needles, next chapter and soon please.........

"He offered to make me new children." - "Make new children?" Children aren't interchangeable "things" that can simply be replaced by new ones.

Nah, did not work for me

Good or bad, you need to finish it.

this has to be one of the most stupid ending's i has ever read here on Lit

I actually thought you had a good thing going. The lapse of judgment. The somehow you save 100s of livelihoods with a chance mistake. That the husband was unforgiving with and thinking he had all the power... to only discover that the wife was pulling the strings. Then with the last sentence you lost me... she knows that Scott is a total tool. She wants her marriage to make it. So she calls him with no agenda short of sex... it made no sense. I seldom say I felt cheated... you gave me nothing at the end.

So much potential with so little satisfaction

Great story and I hope you get around to write more chapters. I do like the idea of a cheater who isn't a total immoral basket case, those stories tend to be two-dimensional. The main character here is more interesting. She knows on the one hand that she fucked up but she is also an arrogant, self-centered woman. And especially the remark about "self-righteous indignation" says a lot about her moral compas. It shows her arrogant attitude of "yeah, yeah, I fucked up. I am 'sorrry', now stop feeling sorry for yourself and forgive me". I would really like to see what kind of person she will become. Will she really step up to the plate and atone for her sin (which is always possible if you are willing too truly atone, sorry to anger the BTB-crowd who probably will disagree with me and are shouting 'cuck' as we speak) or will she truly become the self-centered trust-fund bitch that showed trough in that single remark?

But what about that last sentence where she calls Scott? That is in my view a miss. It makes her more of a two-dimensional slut then the morally handicapped person of the previous pages. But you could also see it as the desperate action of somebody at the bottom of despair, knowing she already destroyed her marriage (like not worrying about playing with fire because you already burnt down the house). So why not have some sexual release amidst the rubble of her imploded marriage (and to the BTB-crowd, I don't say that's a smart thing yo do or even a morally justifiable thing to do, but somethings stupid people do stupid things making up stupid justifications).

All in all a lovely story, can't wait to find out what happens next.

Started as if you had a good story line then the whole thing fell apart. Can not fit her from the beginning of the story with the wealthy controlling woman in the end.

Well, you managed to through the plot under the bus in a handful of sentences. I guess your real plot, or perhaps the moral of the story is that the richer a person is, regardless of gender, the less truth, honor, fidelity, ethics, and love seem to be necessary. I will not read further because Allison’s character is not worth my time.

Interesting plot, but it can’t end like that.

Lost little rich girl with conflicting desires and an inability to stay her course? Self-destructive and maybe a drinking problem? Se won't be married for long. Both her behavior and her secrets will end her relationship with her husband and her kids won't turn out to be the well-balanced adults she wants them to be.

She has nothing redeemable to her character. The relationship with her husband was built on lies and deception - money does NOT buy everything, and hopefully she will soon find that out.

1/5

I really hope you plan on more.Really feels unfinished.Other wise good story,well done.

A lot of this didn't sense. However, you did get me to read the entire thing.

I love how in many of these stories it begins with the cheater saying "I am happily married". But she is flying to see a lover! So funny.

Then at the end she doesn't understand really why her husband is angry and why he would say he MIGHT not forgive her. She doesn't give him even a day before she calls up the guy who just a few paragraphs earlier she said was loathsome! So she figures since she is rich and the loathsome guy has a huge dick why the hell not! She really doesn't need the husband anyway.

But I wonder in the divorce will the husband actually come out better off since he dumps this cold hearted bitch and walks away with half her fortune?

Seriously????? Is that the end!? Too bad that FTDS isn’t still with us because this just SUCKS!

Please finish this but don’t let her give Scott what he wants. He is scum and she would diminish herself with him. Otherwise, good start I hope the finish is great.

Is she really going to destroy her marriage and family?

Looks like there are too many plots and subplots here to make a coherent wrapup. If it takes longer than one more story I say drop it here.

You have the beginning of a good story. I'm not sure what is going on with the last sentence about her calling Scott. She apparently has been keeping some very serious secrets from her husband about her wealth and family. She needs to make some very serious decisions - what is she willing to do to fix her marriage if it is possible? Is she willing to take a lie detector test? Go to counseling? Sign a post nupitial agreement that not only forces her to take regular polygraph tests, but severely punishes her is she cheats? She also needs to come clean with her husband. There are at least 2 different types of people - those that value what they have, educate themselves so they can manage what they have, and they work hard to earn those items, and then there is the type where everything is handed to them on a silver platter and they don't appreciate what it truly cost. There are several wealthy celebrities these days who insist that their kids will NOT inherit their fortunes. Paying for tutors, paying for a college education is one thing - you are preparing someone so that they can succeed on their own. Bribing someone to accept someone who is NOT qualified for the position - Like Lori Loughlin did for her daughters is wrong on many levels. Her daughters need to be able to stand on their own two feet - Mommy and Daddy aren't always going to be there to help her. Allison needs to decide what she wants with her life. Can she fix things with David - maybe. Its going to take time and effort, but it is possible - the question is does she have the will power to do it?

You really need to finish this story.

Wrote yourself into a corner and bailed at the ending?? “We can rebuild this man. Bigger, Stronger, Faster”

Hold your nose as you read this one.

in this story (e.g., 40 hours in the air to get to and from Singapore on a private jet? I've spent less time flying commercial going at least that far), BUT the plot is actually different, an interesting change of pace for LW. I think this one deserves a higher score, and I hope you finish it. BTW, I do think that once authors begin a story, the story ought to be completed, whether the author gets accolades or not.

This started well, but go ridiculous. She expected the minister to cover for her? Her husband was smart enough to run an investment company, but she was surprised that he figured out the truth? Now she contemplates toking her kids and her fortune and hiding?

She is either insane, or the epitome of the cold hearted, conniving bitch, and deserves to burn!!!

I'd like to see where this goes and if the wife can be redeemed. So far she's not very likeable. I'd like to see the husband character fleshed out.

That was the most stupid ending I have seen here in all the stories I have read so far!

You missed a good chance to make this a good story. As it stand now, it’s just an unfinished mess.

WOW! Did that get stupid fast! If you decide you do not like your own story, just stop writing! This was just stupid, lazy and bizarre!

1*

Wow, that went south real fast.

Will give you points for the formatting during the phone calls. Italicising the dialog from the person on the line makes reading the exchange a whole lot easier.

Shame that the story's a trainwreck. Claims to be happily married, but was going to cheat, then gets caught before the act, then sets out to burn her would-be lover and save the town, then changes her mind and considers cheating and running off with the kids. Makes sense if she has some major personality disorder, but nothing else in the story seems to support that.

I was good until the last page to find out the the wife is multi rich and living under the multi rich standards

Is she a rich wife or as the last sentence state she is a slut. Needs an ending

Without another chapter this is a 1. IF she ends up blowing everyone off and not reconciling with her husband, it'll still be a 1.

Seriously? You had a good story going and then you totally blew the ending? In your remarks, you said that you might do a sequel if you thought of something. What a way to cheat your readers. I gave it a 3, but wish I could change it to a 2 the more I think about it. As far as I'm concerned, I won't read any sequels after feeling this cheated!

Some posters seem to have jumped to conclusions about the ending. I’m not ready to write Allison off just yet. More than once she has already said that if she’s killed her marriage, she’ll still try to bring get something out of this and that “something“ has not been to Pierce’s advantage or about her own sexual pleasure.

I appreciated the twist of her having considerable wealth and influence. I think the author has more surprises before the story is fully told. Please write a follow up.

Continue the story. Don't leave us hanging

What where did the story go I gave you a *4* for. Imagination thanks for writing!

For a simple person like myself who is not able to project the rest of the story based on your last three sentences, I need you to finish it for me.

Not sure what to make of this story. I like the set up, but Alison as a character seems all over the place. Some of the things you have her think make her feelings for her family seem very weak. Doesn't seem to truly love her husband, and more than once the kids seem like an inconvenience. Interesting to see where you go with this.

This was about as useful as a shit-flavored ice cream cone.

I join the ranks of commentators who have no idea where this story ended up. The difference with me is that I don't care if you continue this saga of idiots. I'll just rate you a well deserved 2* and cross you off my list of authors to follow. What a piece of junk!

Lousy ending. You could have added 2 more paragraphs and completed this story. Don't bother with writing more on this story. Write something else.

I will wait for the conclusion before scoring....

I like Scott Pierce more than the conniving, lying, cheating wife. And he is despicable.

Attention folks: part 2 is making good progress. I first need the idea, then I write it into a story. Then I revise it, revise it again, have someone read it and comment, then revise it again. Then I submit.

Hint: the characters are complicated.

Good story but honestly with some of her last words to her uncle and the last paragraph it went from a woman who loved her husband and knew she fucked up to a woman who really didnt give a shit for her husband and just wanted some old BF cock.

It really did sort of go all over the place at the end, regardless of what you have planned.

Until I got to Chapter 3. Seems Allison is little more than a spoiled rich girl. When she thought about taking her children and disappearing broke the camel's back for me. One major question I have is if she or her family was so filthy rich how did she end up going to high school and getting married in this small town???? I get it that she's trying to hide her worth but come on her parents did that all of their lives also???? Not logical.

I really dislike getting to the end of a story and finding it isn’t!!!

There is a very unpleasant sense of entitlement about this woman which too easily overcomes her feelings for her husband and family.

But then I'm anonymous, which means I'm stupid, and insignificant, and a troll (What's a troll, anyway?) So I have the perfect excuse for not understanding this complex and nuanced exhibition of profound literature.

The wife is a wealthy whore, like Donald Trump is her gardener wealthy. Her husband doesn't know, about the wealth at least. Apparently he didn't know about the whore either until recently.

So what the wife failed to do with character and virtue and decency, which is refrain from being a whore, she hopes to correct with money. But even Jeffrey Epstein didn't have that much money, so she's probably fucked. And the story ends with her arranging to get fucked even more? Like I said, I'm anonymous, so I need pictures and a diagram.

I do wonder, if she's got that much money, why didn't she just fly her high school fuck master into town and get her brains fucked out when she's supposed to be at the spa, or church? She flies back to her old home town and presumes she won't be seen by any old classmates, or friends, or the pastor who married her?

OK, got it. She's anonymous too! Who else could be that stupid? Perfect. How did I do?

You didn't do so great either. At least my comment is finished.

But thanks for the partial effort.

Once you added the last scene it hurt the story. And the last phone call left the reader wondering wtf!?! I feel unsatisfied with this ending.

This story has a lot of intrigue. She is a very complex character and not sure what part of her is true yet. She was about to make a mistake but didn’t. While she might be ready to go through with it we don’t know yet. It is amazing how many commenters jump to conclusions. Not even sure that most of the commenters actually read the story.

The twists and turns are great. She has shown great character in that she has money galore but doesn’t live like a queen. She still cares for the little people in her actions so far and is loathsome of a prick like Pierce. Will love to see when this heads.

My BIL and sister have a fortune in the hundreds of millions all self made. They made it in a a small town of 1100 in the middle of nowhere. Their kids went to high school there and they still live there. Their company is headquartered there. They choose to live their because of the quality of living they have.

Small towns offer a lot that big cities do not and cannot. If I could make my profession work from a small town I would be there in a heart beat.

One of their kids still semi lives their and uses his money within a foundation he started to help people. He lives a very meager life and you wouldn’t know it from looking at him how much money he has.

Some people are not changed by money. Usually people who are self made got that way from frugality and when they get to the top their habits don’t change and they use their money for good. My sister and BIL wouldn’t spend their money until his accountant told him to start spending it because he couldn’t take it with him.

Really enjoyed the story and the last call to Scott was a perfect cliff hanger

Ribnitin you really have to finish this story. She may be rich but you need to finish the story and BTB.

Like the story so far but hoping ther is an ending. Thanks

But will wait for part two foe overall impressions of the story.

4* for really great twists and turns, Rib.

As a reader I want to identify as much as possible with the protagonist. This story has my head spinning:

She plans to cheat - boo!

Gets caught by the minister - uh,.. yay??

She truly wants to save the town - Yay!

Her husband is using her to scout the investment - yay?

She is working to redeem herself - yay!

She admits to herself that Scott is loathsome (nobody would have sex with a loathsome character)- yay!

David gives her a hard time - boo?!?

She forced David to come spend time with her presumably so she can try to work things out - yay!

She calls Scott - WTF?!?!?!! BOO!

If she's bringing her husband there, and she's trying to distance herself from the loathsome, "I'm going to kill you!" , Scott,... Why call him?

HEY ... It's your story, but,.... Please don't make the lead character an a**h*le.

Only gave 3. I don’t care for stories left hanging. Story is good so far finish it.

Allison's wealth is revealed. That is just just a bit too much. Up to that point the story about a wife caught about to cheat was interesting and suspenseful. I don't feel that her actions fit with the character that the author developed. It also does not fit that in the beginning she is fretful for her marriage, but in the end she is thinking of disappearing with her children never to be found by her husband. So far, not well thought out.

So! Is David also secretly rich and as Scott is on his way to the hotel, David and the kids are heading to a family compound in Cabo while collapsing half her businesses? Hopefully David knows way more about his wife than she knows about him.

Enjoyed a little twist . A sequel would be great

So how does the wife go from “he’s loathsome” to “Hey Scott?” And for her to be secretly mega-rich is just silly.

Confused by the ending.Is she dumping her husband?.

It made no sense.

All kinds of things going on here. I get confused too easily. I missed the second chapter, so I will read it.now..

Add me to the list of “confused”

Incomprehensible!

All your poor commenters can't make sense out of the story. It's a good tale so far,and I enjoy it. LP

Good story, horrible characters. She is a liar and a cheat. She deserves no sympathy from the reader

Wow, the twist of her financial picture towards the end was interesting, but the last paragraph really ruins this whole story for me. She calls Scott, for what? To cheat after everything, and possibly take her kids away from David in the end? It sounds like she is opening the door for several possible choices, all bad. I liked the story but the ending really ruined it. Thanks for the effort, but I would redo the ending or at least write a follow-up to cap this off in a better light.

I forgot there was a part 2, oops. I shouldn't judge but now move on to part 2 with a huge amount of trepidation.

Looking at the scores, don't get your hopes up.

This is a clever plot, and well executed. 5 BUT, "enormity" doesn't mean "really, really big"; it means outrageously evil.

I'm not sure what is so confusing to people. A few twists but not confusing ones. Clearly the ending is designed aa cliffhanger for a part w.

My only confusion was where they live that it'll take 40 hrs to get I Singapore. Or is this 1950?

Even in the early 2000s I got from Houston to Singapore on the cheapest flight through lax, going long, a and Thailand in 26 hrs ... That wasn't flight time... That's leaving Texas to landing in Singapore.

Not a bad story. Are they none of the characters seem likeable or decent so far though.... Housing your entire life from your spouse.... And cheating on him on top of that... Tough to see that working out.

It's a good start although changing perspectives is annoying.