All Comments on 'Going to the Club'

You repeat yourself too much. The story doesn't move quickly enough. You could get the same point across with half as many words. The language was so tiresome I couldn't even get past the second page. Good material, just too long.

Storie way to drawn out.

I understand that some people may not have the patience for such a story, but this is a story for those who tease and like to be teased; to be patient is part and parcel of that.

Having said that, I certainly loved the whole thing. All the characters were real, the situations hot, and the descriptions fantastic. A wonderful story, all around.

There were over 110 "did not" phrases that I replaced to "didn't". You could have done that in the writing.

Is there some restriction for LW writers to not use contractions, as everyone does in ordinary speech?

A bit long, but rises and falls like the tide.....left me fulfilled.....several times!!!

Too long and too boring.

The story's premises had potential, just poorly executed. Needs serious proof reading. Too many different mixes of tense, word use (worse vs worst), and misspellings. The exchanges were hot, until they went on much too long.

The story's premises had potential, just poorly executed. Needs serious proof reading. Too many different mixes of tense, word use (worse vs worst), and misspellings. The exchanges were hot, until they went on much too long.