Gorilla and the Metalhead Pt. 10

Before they left, Carlos took time to have a private conversation with Pete. "You fuckin' rocked tonight, helldrums," he said. "That was the best you've ever played."

Mentally, Pete was still on shaky ground following last night. "Thanks, Carlos ... that means a lot. I'm feeling a lot of things right now that I can't explain ... maybe that's why I smashed the fuck out my kit tonight."

Therapy takes many forms.

They stood facing each other, both needing to talk, but neither knowing what to say. They both felt uncertain.

Carlos went first. "So, about last night ..."

"Don't." Pete cut him off. "Please ... can we ... can we not go there? At least, not right now?"

Carlos remained silent. He locked eyes with Pete.

"I'm ... umm ... that wasn't me last night," Pete whispered, a single tear rolling down his cheek. "I'm usually much more restrained than that ... I was a little drunk."

Carlos smiled. "Yeah ... maybe just a little," he joked.

Pete grinned, before staring at his shoes. He wasn't sure what to say next. "I don't know, man. I don't know what happens from here. Was this the last A2M show? I'm not sure if you and me should be in the same band anymore."

Carlos was taken aback. "Are you quitting? Fuck, man, please don't quit ..."

"No, it's not that," said Pete. "I don't want to quit. But ... it's just ... after last night ... fuck, I can hardly remember what I said and did ..."

"Ass To Mouth wouldn't exist without you," Carlos said. "Please don't leave. Don't go. I'd really like to talk with you about ... stuff ... but only if you want to, and only when you're ready. Let me know, man. Let me know when you're ready to talk, and I'll be there for you. But right now, I have a friend who needs to be working just after sunrise. I'd love to stick around and get hammered with you and the rest of the band, but tonight, I can't."

Pete understood completely. He knew Carlos's 'friend' was the chubby trucker dude who helped him lug his kit in before the show. He forced a thin, uncertain grin before wiping his eyes. "Yeah, I hear you. And I remember what my mom said to me once -- 'if you look after him, he'll look after you'. Take him home, Carlos."

Carlos leaned in for a tight, warm hug. "Thanks, man."

Pete sniffled. "Yeah."

They turned away from each other. Carlos noticed Gorilla was sitting in a corner of A2M's dressing room, not engaging with anyone. "Come on," Carlos said, "let's go. You've got an early morning tomorrow."

They caught a cab back to Carlos's apartment. They showered together, but it was a functional exercise in retiring as quickly and as efficiently as possible. Gorilla was due out of the Atlanta warehouse in six hours' time -- not much time for sleep.

They hit the hay. They faced each other and kissed. "Sorry, but I need to tell you I've set a shitload of alarms for tomorrow morning ..."

Carlos cut him off. "I expect the nuclear launch codes to be transmitted around 5am. I just hope we're still alive by sunrise."

Gorilla smiled. "I'm sorry."

They hugged and kissed. Carlos reached down and manhandled Gorilla's nutsack. "I wish you had another day here with me," he said.

"Me too," said Gorilla. Carlos was still buzzing after the gig. Part of him wanted to be out on the town, drinking until late, but another part of him wanted to be exactly where he was -- lying on his mattress, at home, next to Gorilla. He tried to sleep, knowing Gorilla needed to be up early.

Eventually Gorilla snored, and after mentally reviewing tonight's gig, Carlos drifted off half an hour later.

*

Friday morning. Gorilla's first alarm went off at 5am. He woke up temporarily and shut it off. Carlos rolled over.

Gorilla's next alarm went off at 5.05am. He shut it off again. Carlos had only just drifted back to sleep again before being unceremoniously shunted back out of it.

The next one went off at 5.08am. Carlos knew Gorilla had set an array of alarms, but he didn't expect the digital equivalent of water torture. He'd only just drifted back to sleep at 5.07am, not expecting the 5.08am timebomb.

"Fuck, man," yelled a delirious Carlos. "I know you need to get up, but ... fuck ..." He immediately went back to sleep.

Silence returned to the room, until Gorilla's next alarm sounded at 5.15am. Carlos exploded like a grenade. "Fuck me dead. Get the fuck up, Gorilla. Turn your fuckin' phone off, I can't handle this bullshit." He got up.

Gorilla sheepishly rolled over. "Sorry," he said. He squeezed out a silent fart. "I'll get dressed."

Naked, Carlos boiled some water and made Gorilla a coffee. He dropped a couple of slices of fresh bread into the toaster for him. If this was the last time they'd see each other for a while, he wanted to make sure Gorilla had some caffeine and something to eat under his belt before hitting the road.

Carlos watched Gorilla eat his toast and drink his coffee. Carlos found some pants, socks and a t-shirt. Gorilla noticed.

"What are you doing?" asked Gorilla.

"I'm getting dressed," Carlos replied.

"What for?"

"So I can come to the warehouse with you."

Gorilla paused. "You don't need to do that."

"You don't want me to come with you?"

There was no easy way for Gorilla to answer that question. "Stay here. Go back to sleep. Please let me do this on my own."

"When will I see you again?" Carlos asked.

"At the moment, I'm not sure."

Carlos paused, not sure what to say. "I'm gonna miss you, big guy."

"I'm gonna miss you too, sexy rockstar."

They hugged for what felt like an eternity, but an eternity still way too short.

"I have to go," said Gorilla. "I'm due at the warehouse soon. So I'll text you tonight?"

"You fuckin' better," Carlos grimaced.

Gorilla closed Carlos's apartment door behind him. He caught the elevator down to street level and hailed a cab to the warehouse. He grabbed a sandwich and another strong coffee at the depot.

Next stop: New Orleans. It'd be seven, maybe eight long hours.

Gorilla completed the paperwork, climbed aboard, and was soon on his way. He loaded a podcast and tried to concentrate on the road.

He knew he hadn't had enough sleep. Not nearly enough.