Gosford Bloody Tanner's Fault

That Friday night Sally called quite tearfully, to say that she couldn't come down Saturday as she had been unwell all week and couldn't travel. Nothing to worry about, she said, just a stomach bug.

Chapter 5 - Boyfriends

Mandy had a date that Friday night that Sally said she couldn't make it at the weekend. It meant that I had to babysit instead of Madge. That was a bolt out of the blue, especially after Madge had said that as far as she knew Mandy never dated. I don't think that woman had a clue what was going on.

Mandy looked fantastic made up and wearing a classic black dress that I thought showed much too much of her shapely legs, and the plunging neckline made me a lot hotter under the collar than she must have felt.

I couldn't sit down while I waited for her date to show. He was a teacher, of course, not Gosford Tanner, but he was tall and distinguished looking, with a smart suit on. He looked smarter than I ever did, and probably a lot more handsome, although I had nothing to judge his looks by. Mandy was still touching up her make-up when the door-bell went so I answered the door in my crutches and we both regarded each other as if we were rivals. If we were stags we'd've locked horns and gouged flesh from each others flanks. As it was we two macho men just regarded each other murderously. Crazy, I know, but I couldn't help myself and he responded in like fashion.

The stakes went up a notch and a half when Mandy started walking down the stairs, in that dress and tall heels and looking so damned attractive. My morale sank like a stone as her face brightened up as they looked at one another and her new boyfriend whistled and said, "Wow!"

My lips formed the same exclamation but my throat was too strangled to vocalise the thought, I must have looked like a fish out of water gasping to breath. My mind running wild through the thoughts that she was still my wife, although I had no claims on her in that regard, nor did I want to particularly, as I had Sally as an unsullied embodiment of the female ideal, but I was still as jealous as any man could ever be.

I knew that she had dressed up for him, that he would have a chance to hold her hand, perhaps dance with her, kiss her, go all the bloody way with her. I wasn't just yesterday's man, I belonged to the day before yesterday. Since me there was Gosford Tanner and God knew who else. I was so far back in Mandy's past that I was completely dead and buried. We were divorced in all bar name, we had only discussed the "D" word a couple of days earlier.

The sooner I moved out the better and the sooner I agreed with Sally what kind of relationship there was for us the better. Next weekend we would have to talk to one another about what we each wanted for the future and whether those intentions could be shared and fulfilled.

I was in bed trying to pass the time by reading some unentertaining book by the time Mandy got home. It was after midnight. She must've seen my light on so she knocked and popped her head around the door to see if I wanted a nightcap. I replied no, but she said she had already put the kettle on and was going to have a cup of tea herself, so I changed my mind.

"OK, I'll bring it through to you if you like," she smiled.

"No, my back is aching lying here anyway, so I'll get up. Are you drinking yours it in the living room or kitchen?"

She smiled again. Damn! She was smiling much too much to my mind. She had been miserable all week. She must've had a really good time tonight, I just hope her date didn't have as good a time as she appeared to have.

"I was going to take it upstairs with me-"

"Don't let me stop you," I interjected, "I can drink mine by myself, I just need to sit upright or even stand for a little while."

"No, that's alright, I can stay up a little longer, I don't feel tired and I don't have to be up too early in the morning, if the girls let me," she laughed again, as we moved through the doorway into the adjacent kitchen, "I wanted to hear from you how Josh got on at the fire station, he was trying to tell me all about it as I was getting ready."

"You sound like you had a good time tonight," I observed.

"Yes, it was great, it's been a long time since I had a grown-up night out. Mark was really good company, we had a nice meal and the concert was absolutely fantastic. Anyway, did you talk to the Station Officer about transferring down here?"

"Yes I did," I said, as I attempted the awkward manoeuvre of sitting at the breakfast table and parking my crutch without it (or me) falling over, as Mandy bustled about brewing the tea and getting the mugs ready.

"And?" she asked as I paused.

"Yes, the application is going through," I grinned, "Actually, I heard I had been promoted to Crew Commander."

"Oh," she said, "I thought Merv said you'd be Crew Manager?"

"So Stafford tells you and not me about my business?" I snorted.

"Well, you never speak to him," she said, "He usually rings me once a week to find out how you are doing and I tell him."

"Blimey!" I exclaimed, "Everybody knows everything about my business except me! I didn't find out anything until I got down the station."

"He told me not to tell you until you got the letter, I think he wanted to make sure it was a surprise."

"It was Mand, it was."

There was silence for a minute while she poured the milk into the cups and put the bottle back in the fridge.

"Sorry, Jimbo," she apologised, "I thought it would be a nice surprise, I didn't expect you to be pissed."

"No, I'm sorry, too," I said, "I shouldn't take it out on you. I think I'm just a little out of salts today."

"I expect you will miss Sally this weekend?"

"Yes, I'm a little worried," I admitted, "I wanted to give her my news too, and see how she'd feel about coming down here to live, we haven't really talked anything over yet."

Mandy was quiet at that and swirled the teapot to aid infusion and test-poured a drop. It was still too pale, so she swirled the pot again and set it down to brew up a bit more.

"Perhaps we can go out somewhere tomorrow, as a family, while we still can?" I asked.

"Ah," she said, "That's the main reason why I wanted to speak to you tonight before going upstairs." She looked into my eyes.

"Yes?"

"Yes, I wondered if you would look after the children tomorrow during the day and ... and overnight."

She bit her lip and looked at me, I think she went red just a little bit. Damn and bugger, I thought.

"Sure," I replied as calmly as I could, hoping the old reliable poker face was still working for me.

"Mark has got these tickets for a show in the West End. He teaches drama and wangled these red hot tickets somehow from someone he knows. The show's had fantastic reviews, is booked up for months ahead, and these are the hottest tickets in town," she gushed. "Mark wanted to make a day of it and go up about lunchtime."

Great, I thought to myself, that's all my ego needs at the moment, me stuck at home on my own babysitting the kids and my ex- getting her jollies off on a classy weekend away.

"That's fine," I said, trying to force my lips into a sham of a grin.

I didn't sleep much that night.

The next day started early for me, the girls were up at the crack of dawn as usual, Josh tended to lay in bed dozing until noon, it's exhausting being a teenager, I remember it well. Mandy slept in late, until about nine. I got the girls' breakfasts and then took a cup of tea up to Mandy. She got up after her tea and packed an overnight case. I didn't want to hang around and see her boyfriend pick her up again, so I persuaded the girls to go to the funfair with me, my treat. We got a cab. Josh, of course, just groaned at the suggestion and went back to sleep. His loss.

We had a great time, actually. The girls were a lot of fun. We were pretty comfortable being together again and they laughed at my antics trying to get on some of the rides and the negotiations I had with the operators on those rides that they let the girls on but wouldn't let me accompany them, or getting my crutches retained during the ride and returned afterwards. I was exhausted by the time we made it to the taxi rank and took the journey home. I phoned for a pizza delivery from the cab.

At least I thought I would sleep well tonight and not lie awake thinking about Sally being absent and whatever Mandy was getting up to overnight with her boyfriend. OK, I was jealous, sue me!

The girls ran inside to get the kitchen table laid with plates and cutlery while I settled the fare with the cabbie. Josh met me at the front door. He looked grim.

"It's alright," I laughed at him, "I've ordered enough pizza for all of us."

"It's not that Dad, Sally's here, been here for hours and she's been crying her eyes out all the time. I couldn't get hold of you. You left your mobile behind on charge."

What was the matter with Sally? Why was she even here? I rushed through to the house as quick as my crutches would carry me.

I followed the sound of voices into the sitting room, where Sally was fussing over the girls while they showed her the cuddly toys we had acquired at the funfair and they told her about the rides they had been on and the trouble I had had getting around. I never won any of the cuddly toys, the games are designed for punters to lose, but I did buy a few for them.

Sally and I exchanged glances. She looked pale, with red eyes, the smile that she had on her face while talking to the girls, vanished.

"OK, girls," I said, "Kelly, please lay the kitchen table with plates and cutlery for five-"

"Is it alright if I take mine up to my room Dad?" interjected Josh, "I want to watch a film that starts in five minutes."

"Sure," I said, "Just make sure you bring your plate down afterwards. Kelly, please lay four plates and Kaytie, can you do the drinks? There's a big bottle of pop in the fridge."

"OK!" chorused the girls, and departed for the kitchen. Josh also made himself scarce, leaving Sally and me to it.

"Hi, honey," I said, holding out my arms to her.

She didn't get up, just sat there crying her eyes out. I limped over to the settee, by now my leg was really hurting, while my left leg ached because it had carried the bulk of the load all day. I knew had overdone it by a long way today. I put my crutch to one side and sat next to Sally and put an arm around her.

"Hush, Sal," I whispered as she buried her head in my chest, "In your own time, honey."

I wasn't sure what had upset her and all sorts of theories were bounding around in my head, none of them pleasant, all of them, as it turned out, wrong.

"I'm ... pregnant!" she sobbed.

Well, that was one of the thoughts that had popped into my head. Clearly it wasn't mine, there hadn't been time for anything to show up on a test.

"Are you sure?" I asked as calmly as I could.

"Yeah, I took a couple of those test kits that were positive and then saw my GP on Thursday morning."

"How far along are you?"

"'bout two months, he thought."

"Does the father know?"

She pulled her head out of my chest at that point and looked at me, her pretty face wet with tears.

"I-I told him last night." the waterworks started up again.

The front door rang. The pizza had arrived.

"Girls!" I yelled, "Answer the door will you? I'll be out in a moment to settle up the bill."

I turned to Sally, "Wipe your eyes and come into the kitchen for some pizza."

"I couldn't eat anything," she sobbed, "I need to go, get the last train back."

"Oh no, young lady," I insisted, "That is the last thing you are going to do. You need to look after yourself properly." I squeezed her shoulder. "No matter what happens, whatever decisions are going to be made, the important thing is that you keep calm and relaxed. You need to drink something, eat too, if you can and sleep in here tonight. Tomorrow we can talk things through calmly and then you can catch the train tomorrow. Alright?"

"Alright," she said, giving up the fight easily.

I struggled to get up and grab my crutch. Sally helped me and squeezed my hand.

"Geoff's asked me to marry him," she said, "And I said 'Yes', I am so sorry, baby."

I squeezed her hand back, "Spilt milk, honey, we'll talk once the girls have gone to bed."

"I'll sort out the pizza guy," she said, picking up her bag from beside the settee, "You go through to the kitchen and sit down, the girls and I can bring the boxes in."

I had ordered three pizzas, knowing we'd all be hungry. With the girls still high as kites after their day out and Josh coming down three times for "seconds", Sally cheered up a lot and nibbled a couple of slices.

It was still taking me a long time to climb up the stairs, so Sally scooted up with the girls and helped them get bathed, teeth cleaned and ready for bed. They were old enough to look after that themselves, but Mandy always did it for them every night and children don't like their routine interrupted too much. At least I was able to kiss them goodnight and tuck them in. Then I popped my head into Josh's room and chased him into the bathroom to get himself ready for bed.

Sally put the kettle on for a cup of tea and we sat down to talk. Her tears had all dried up by now and we could discuss our situation calmly, on both sides. She had been going out with the father of her baby, tattooist Geoffrey Arnold, for about eight months, breaking it off a week or so before she heard about my injury. Same reason, another man not prepared to commit. That was changed now that Sally was pregnant, Geoff was prepared to marry her and she had decided that she loved him after all. Not much I could say other than to wish them all the best in the future. I was dog tired and retired to bed.

Sunday morning I was up and about first. I had intended getting some meat out of the freezer the previous night to defrost but I had forgotten to do that in all the drama. I rummaged around in the chest freezer in the garage and found a couple of small pork loin joints and put them in the microwave on defrost for what seemed like ages until they were reasonably soft, then I popped them in the oven to roast until lunchtime. I also looked out some frozen cauliflower florets, carrots and peas. It looked like it was going to be a hot day so I thought we could have fruit and ice-cream. I found some jelly cubes in the cupboard, too, so I made a jelly and mixed a tin of chopped peaches into it and put that in the fridge to set.

The beeping of the microwave, or my rustling around the kitchen, must have disturbed Sally, so she roused herself and came into the kitchen, still yawning and didn't look as if she had slept too well. I poured her a coffee, which she took black for now, saying that milk was making her sick, then she had to run for the downstairs loo again. She tried a bit of dry toast without butter when she returned and that stayed down.

The girls got up about nine and happily played families with their new cuddly toys in the garden after they had breakfasted. Josh, of course, slumbered on, I would probably have to wake him up just before lunch.

Mandy called mid-morning, Sally was nearest and answered the phone and they talked for a few minutes before I was called from the kitchen, having just turned the parboiled potatoes into the roasting tin.

"You alright?" asked Mandy as soon as I picked up the phone.

"Yeah," I replied, "I guess so." I couldn't be sure whether she was referring to how I felt about Sally and the baby or Mandy and her new boyfriend, so I thought it best to be non-committal.

"I am running late, so I won't be back in time to do lunch-"

"No problem," I interrupted, "I've got a roast underway, aiming to serve up about one."

"Oh, I was going to suggest we go out for a meal this evening."

"I can make up a meal for you to microwave later if you like."

"No," she said, "I'll be back about one. Have the children been behaving themselves?"

"They've all been lovely," I chuckled, "Although I've hardly seen Josh all weekend!"

Mandy laughed, "That's par for the course."

"How was your night?" I bit my tongue, "The show and the meal I mean." I think I went red with embarrassment even though she was the other end of the line.

"It was fantastic, we had a wonderful time. Anyway Mark'll drop me off about one."

"OK, I'll try and hold on for your arrival. Give us another call when you get close."

"OK, will do, love you!"

And then she hung up. What? Love me? What was all that about? She's been shacked up with her boyfriend for the last 24 hours and now she's doing her best to confuse me.

I managed to talk Sally into staying for our meal. She asked me what was going on with Mandy? She had thought that Mandy was her main rival for my affections and now she was going out with some guy from work? I reminded her what I had said to her before, I lost Mandy years ago, long before I left, and there was no way back for us. She told me about Geoff. He ran a successful tattoo parlour in the middle of Grantham and lived in a two-bed flat above with a small yard out the back. They were about the same age and Sally was optimistic about their future. I told her I was delighted for her, although inside I had that sinking feeling about my own future, which was up in the air again.

My leg was still pretty sore after yesterday's efforts so I sat in the garden late morning before finishing off in the kitchen, while Sally played with the girls. They were going to miss her when she stopped coming down to see me. It would be nice if the girls could keep in contact with Sally, they'd love the baby when it came, but I wasn't sure how cool Geoff would be about me coming round bringing the girls up to see his wife and baby.

I flicked through the local paper, looking especially at small furnished flats. There were a couple of promising ones that I thought I could afford to rent and would contact the letting agents about in the morning. Just like the Gosford Tanner affair, I needed to get away, although I would be much less dramatic than before, I didn't want to lose my family this time around.

Sally called out that Mandy had arrived and I called the girls in and Josh down from upstairs to get the kitchen table finished off. I had already part-laid the table for the six of us. Mandy hadn't said anything about Mark, so I hadn't allowed for him to come in too. Fortunately, Mark just dropped her off, I opened the front door for her after shouting up for Josh, in time to see Mark put his arms round her and kiss her goodbye. It shouldn't have hurt but damn-it, it did. I mashed the small amount of mashed potato with added pepper and butter much harder than I intended, it was probably the smoothest mash I'd ever made! Actually, I thought Mandy looked very smart and attractive, naturally enhanced by her face wreathed in smiles. She'd had a better weekend than I had.

Everyone was very complimentary about the meal, although it was no different to what we all took turns in doing down at the fire station. If anything I would have used more fresh vegetables if it had been easier for me to get to the shops.

After we cleared up, and the girls went out to play with their friends and Josh retired to his hermit's refuge, Sally expressed a desire to catch a train home and Mandy offered to drive her down. I decided to go too, to say goodbye to Sally for what I thought would probably be the final time. Josh was told he was in charge, so he could keep an eye on the girls and Sally took her leave without elaborating, so the girls were not upset, thinking they would see her in a week or so.

Both Mandy and I gave Sally a hug with tears all round and insisted we stay in touch. Then we waved her goodbye.

Mandy and I were silent in the car on the drive back, getting home late afternoon. I was so tired and demoralised, with my leg still playing up, that I went straight to bed.