All Comments on 'Greg's Mystery Life'

Great tale. My only problem was the fact that the despicable cunt wife wasn't punished in any way and really didn't suffer any repercussions after being complicit in the abduction. Oh well. Still a five star tale.

Good outline. Submit a finished story next time. Try and put real emotion in your characters.

Thanks for the submission.

HE might have a non-disclosure clause, that doesn't stop the detectives from spilling the beans!

Why the fuck didn't she just ask for a divorce? Was it because "her Scotty" wanted to act out his plot?

I agree that she should also have been prosecuted as a co-conspirator, even if she didn't no about the attack in advance.

So why did Scotty disappear "way back then" and how/why did he appear again in Tawny's life?

How did they start/carry on an affair when they were X-hundred miles apart?

And as @betrayedbylove pointed out, no consequences for the skank? Hmmm....

Thanks for this contribution to the MMT!

You wrote a wonderful story, and I enjoyed reading it, as I always enjoy reading your stories. A five, of course.

Means nothing in a public civil law suit where everything would be open to public scrutiny. Sorry, can't seal those records; could possibly have them expunged but, there would always be a digital trail. And, "Scotty" would've done time for such a violent crime. I'll give 3 for a valiant attempt... at humor... lol

throughout the story

I think this was written by Scotty, too many holes. It could have been better, certainly not a waste of time.

Thank You MB for your story ****

and believe the love one has for you is unselfish, TK U MLJ LV NV

Needed some more of how she and her new beau lived afterwards.

And I do not why for the life of me authors continue to write these LW stories where they get married but some how the husband ever gets around to asking any details about what the wife did or who she dated before they got married.

You can't write American crime stories. We don't have a 'lounge' in our homes. We don't live in a 'neighbourhood'. A kidnapping and the police don't start the door-to-door canvass until daylight the following morning when everyone has left for work? No. Just, no.

No doubt about it: The English and the Americans are two peoples divided by a common language.

This was just a horrible plot and poorly written.

Whatbthe hell is the ‘recovery’ position? Don’t try to r]write what you don’t know.

Sorry everyone else is so harsh and critical. I enjoyed the heck out of it. Yes, it does leave the door open for possible sequels and it may be worthwhile to pursue that idea.

Recovery position - Wikipedia

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Recovery_position

"The recovery position refers to one of a series of variations on a lateral recumbent or three-quarters prone position of the body, in to which an unconscious but breathing casualty can be placed as part of first aid treatment."

You should learn to check things before making criticisms about things you obviously know nothing about!

"I'm sorry that Greg got hurt. That wasn't supposed to happen, I guess I got overexcited. Is there any way that this can be made to just go away?"

/* This is the point where I stopped believing that I was reading about actual human beings. Scott and the wife were just too much a combination of idiocy and sociopathy to be believable.

Mediocre plot and I really think that, despite a good attorney, Tawny and Scotty would have been doing jail time given US laws regarding kidnappings. Also. The police HATE to have their time wasted and be made fools of.

The guy is almost killed, and yet the author allows the wife and her jerk lover to get away with it essentially.

No jurisdiction in America would let a violent home invasion with major head trauma go unprosecuted.

But if you decide to write it with no legal consequence, create some payback for our protag. C'mon man.yiyr schtuff is usually better

I know what it is. The point I was making is that it is not a term used commonly in the United States and we have a British author trying to write a story in the USA. The use of the term twice as if it is common was a mistake and there were several others that have previously been pointed out.

That Greg and Tawny were living in. Though the term living room is more common in the USA, the term lounge means a more formal room, which is what I was trying to portray.

Tawny and Scotty live happily ever after and Greg deals with the aftermath.

Really enjoyed it. I like your style. Thank you for sharing it.

Why did you bother to write this story? The motives and emotions and reasoning of the characters is never explored, not even mentioned. Why did Scott leave Tawny? What was his life like? How and why did Scott come back into Tawny's life? Why didn't Tawny just admit Scott was back and divorce Greg? Why wasn't Tawny prosecuted for conspiracy in the kidnapping plot? Why didn't Greg sue Tawny in civil court as well? That way Greg could have gotten even more money from Scott. Why wasn't the accomplices prosecuted for not reporting Greg's injuries? Why did Tawny get half of the marriage assets, since if her kidnapping scheme had worked she would have gotten nothing?

Just a really mindless and puzzling story. Thanks for trying.

Greg's Civil Action Greg Baker took place where all Civil Claims take place, in the Civil Court.

Thank you for your interest.

You say you know what the recovery position is, yet your comment says, "Whatbthe hell is the ‘recovery’ position?" That doesn't sound like someone who knows what it is.

I live in the US and have heard of it.

Before I replied, I Googled it, nowhere does it say that it is a UK term. Why not just admit that you misspoke and let it go?

Why wasn't he charged with attempted murder?

Why wasn't the wife as an acessory?

I could make that argument given she could have just disappeared and not done the attack at all. No reason for it.

Also I think the chi would have been involvec.

Also I liked it but wonder why you had the wife pay no cost at all?

Too many unanswered questions in this one.

I was gasping for breath during this story. You had all the necessary plot points, but you bound through them it felt.

This is a minor quibble. The story would have been more intriguing with slow revelations. This deserved about two more pages. But it was nicely done all the same. The only major problem was the pacing.

deserved to be longer with a bit more of everything.

often feel decent authors often "knock something up" quickly for these invitational events and waste a good plot on too short a story.

i really liked this one but with more development would have been much more satisfying.

five stars, thanks.

difficult to believe an armed home invasion and brutal assault wouldn't end in jail time for all those involved

It could have been drawn out more,but like FD45 said, it's a minor quibble. Well done!

It was well done, but I never caught why she didn't just divorce her husband rather than going through that charade. Nice story!

Very disappointed. This could have been written by a sixth grade student. Obvious plot. No character development. Key to any good story is to feel like you are "in" the story with them. Very poor. Samson.

Enjoyable, even with

all those unanswered

questions.

4 out of 5 from me.

Scotty and the actors would have all done time. Tawney would probably as well. She would not have gotten 50% as she was complicit with the attack. Greg would have received far more than just $1M, he would be the owner of the nice compound in Maine. Scotty would be broke for a while until his next hack book came out under a pseudonym. Sorry to be petty Matt (because I like your writing) but American houses don't have lounges. Not sure what the equivalent is, living room? BTW British Silks are called that because their robes are silk when they get to the top ranks (QC). Keep 'em coming Matt.

Had all the making s of a really good story, but felt like you rushed it so that it could be included in the event.

Would love to see you come back to this at some point and flesh it out for the story we have here can be so much more.

Since in the intro to the lady you focalized Scotty it was fairly obvious that the kidnapping was to cover her running away. There was no obvious reason why

this elaborate theater was necessary

MattblackUK continues to pioneer in the "Unusual Plot" category.

I liked this one very much. Knowing his style of writing, I read this one with great anticipation as to when the "shoe would drop." I would recommend more detail as to when and why Tawny became disenchanted with the marriage and decided to go back to her "First" love.

That being said, this story is outstanding.

Billy Lines

An enjoyable read but, as stated by others, would benefit from being more 'fleshed out' along with more of a post script. The penalties would certainly be much heavier and the accomplices would have been charged for several offences as well along with Tawny. A major hole was in the use of 'no contest' as a plea of no contest does not open the miscreant to loss in a civil action. It can and will be used as a 'prior' (like a previous conviction) when any later charges are before a court but NOT in any civil action pertaining to said plea - look it up next time.

Olfrog14x

...fraud, conspiracy, assault, grievous bodily harm.

There is just no way in this world that the three assailants and the woman, all wouldn't go down for the indictments, or at least as accessories to the crimes, especially when it was such a solid case, easily proven in any court, beyond a shadow of a doubt. All would get jail time, probably lengthy.

Also, I know you set this in the States, but normally, they're in the UK. Obvious why.

What is also obvious, is the Very Proper British responses and reactions to the scandals you devise... that aloofness. I don't know if it's just your style, or it's reasonably accurate, but it does feel odd to me. Just saying.

I'm Aussie, and I pay my debts. There's no chance of discovery, the raising of an eyebrow, *Oh well", and move on. Not in my circles...

...yeah, just saying.

But hey, it's just a story, just a bit of fluff. But it doesn't come up to your usual good standard.

Still, thanks for your contributions, much appreciated.

I enjoyed the story right up to the end. I think a heinous crime like that should have earned some jail time for Scotty and Tawny. Also, if it were my story I would have destroyed Scotty's career and wiped him out financially. I really enjoy this author but this story just lacked a little. Maybe a sequel?

As full of holes as a Scotty O'shea novel, but I loved it.

Even though he recieved a payout of just over a million dollars and the rest of it he needed more revenge. The attack could have killed him or left him permanently disabled so he wanted to destroy Mr "High and mighty Scott O'Shea.

He used his skills with computers to set it up.

He sent his ex-wife an email with an attachment hoping she would open it on their home computer. She did what she hoped and once the attachment had been opened a very nasty worm was released into the O'Shea;s home computer. A worm that mined all their financial data as well as other information.

When Greg had everything he needed he logged onto the O'shea's banking sight and transferred every last dime they had except for 10 dollars into a blind account in the Cayman Island (the money was then transferred 2 dozen times until eventually ending up in various charitable organisations. Greg also cancelled all the credit cards they had and the chequeing account.

The O'Shea's did not realise there was a problem until that night when they went to pay for the meal at an upscale restaurant. Their Credit cards were declined everytime. Then when they wrote a cheque they were embarrassed 3 days later when it bounced. They were arrested for passing bad cheques and sentenced to 50 days in jail. Meanwhile Greg had also managed to get an online line of credit on Scotts house and maxed it out. There were several more charities that were happy at the anonymous donations received.

Scot did not realise until the Sheriff appeared giving them 14 days to vacate the premises.

Greg had also set one more trap for them. Any future royalty payments were to be sent to a charity set up to assist battered husbands seek legal justice.

It was then that Scott and Tawny realised who had destroyed them but there was nothing that could be done as nothing could be proven because all transactions had been carried out on their own computer.

you really should have an editor. The grammar, and word usage, were terrible. Apparently you are Brit, but most of the errors would be equally wrong in either British or American English.

"Apparently you are Brit" (sic) it makes me think: "You are a real grammar expert."

But the revenge was a little weak. I like Anonymous 's ending a little better.

"Why would they bother to put him in the recovery position? That doesn't make any sense to me"

One possible explanation might be that real kidnappers would expect to get a larger ransom out of Greg if he were still alive.

Greg Baker, a gallant husband defending his wife from infamy, was seriously injured protecting wife from kidnappers or was he? Even the police are suspicious that the abduction is faked. There's much to back up the suspicions: though the couple is relatively comfortable, the marriage between DINKS (Dual Income No Kids) is wobbly.The surprise comes with the confirmation of the uneasy feelings but the identity of the culprit.

As a "Loving Wife" story the jolt of the surprise follows in the tradition of the British silver screen with films like "Walk A Tightrope." Reading Mystery Life makes me lament the passing of the old double feature which ran a British and American film in tandem for the price of one admission. Cheers!

A bit ordinary. MattblackUK writes better stuff than this.

Scores 3/5

Too lame revenge

That dumb bitch wife should have been charged too.

Talk about the holes in Scotty's story. This was was littered with them. Just to mention the most obvious hole, Tawny was guilty of conspiracy and assault. Scotty was guilty of aggravated assault, home invasion, conspiracy, and hindering prosecution. He would have served a minimum of 5 -10 years. Tawny would have been prosecuted as well. And a $1,000,000 settlement is a joke. If Scotty was a best selling author, the amount should have been much higher. I also agree with the other critics - the payback to Scotty and Tawny was a joke.

Here's a crazy thought.

Why didn't she just ask her husband for a divorce?

poorly done. cliched, lame dialogue with a rushed ending.

nope.

meaningless pap.

Just an average story. AA++

Needs a better ending, the husband gets abused and then screwed over. Disappointing

Why wasn't Tawny charged?.

Why didn't she just divorce him?.Also why wasn't she charged with any offence,at least she have been charged with wasting police time?.

Good whodunit!

Accessory to the assault on all those involved would be the obvious first step

An interesting idea. The fact that Scotty wrote second class novels and that this was a plot idea of his feels very believable (in the context of your story). I'm not sure why Tammy wasn't guilty of something, otherwise nicely plotted with twists and surprises for this reader.

To echo several below..I'm gonna guess faking your own kidnapping that leaves your husband almost dead and potentially permanently damaged is worthy of a criminal charge or 2.

Except for the million dollars (not much for a successful author), neither Scotty nor Tawny paid a price for what they did.

Wow! No prison time?!? Also, the DA really screwed up the charges. The minimum charge would have been aggravated assault. A good case could be made for attempted murder.

Also a 50/50 split in a state that allows divorce for adultery?!? Not likely, especially as the DA should have charged her as an accessory, and conspiracy!

ZK

No way Scott would not serve prison time, or gets non-disclosure clause, or settle for only a million.

The ex Marine thug man slut Scotty should have been attacked one day somewhere........

5 Stars on a great Story ..I would have laid sown my wife for My Ex at one time . Now let Me live the good life

Why wasn't his wife charged with aiding and abetting a crime?.

I like the plot, but your style of writing is not my favourite, I can't make up my mind if you are British, trying to write about American culture or the other way round, it seems that you use some of each in this but it doesn't hang together

NOT a bad story but with some rather obvious problems…..

1. No way would “My Scotty” have gotten away without jail time. Do the crime; Do the time!!!

2. The two helpers should have had some type of legal penalties for their part.

3. The wife was part of the scheme and should have been received several charges.

Kidnapping is a Federal crime most of the time and the FBI is involved. In this case crossed state lines and definitely would involve the FBI. Overall this is a very good story.

There is zero probability that Scotty walks with a no contest and a fine. Zero chance. And as prior commenter correctly pointed out, kidnapping especially across state lines is a federal offense. The FBI would investigate. Even with the kidnapping a hoax, once the reveal happens, FBI will hit him up from ticky tac charges like transporting firearms across state lines, etc. His silky lawyer won't do squat in federal court. After a brief 2 to 3 years in federal penitentiary, then the state gets him for assault.

So many problems with this story. I don't believe an author has to be a legal expert to write fiction on an amateur site, but this story has so many holes that it isn't really an enjoyable read. Why not simply get a divorce? Why wait 45 minutes before calling 911? Why no charges for Tawny and Scott for the false kidnapping and all the trouble the police went through. Why wasn't the FBI called in from the beginning since it was an assumed kidnapping? Why didn't Scott go to jail for years? Too many holes....