Grief, Lust, and Consequences Ch. 01

Less than an hour into their lounging session Jeff suggested that he and Bethany go up to bed and give Katy a chance to lay down and relax. Katy silently cheered in her mind at the thoughtfulness of her brother's gesture and for the chance to no longer have Bethany's voice in the room distracting her from her book. Bethany agreed and got up from her seat and began to make her way up the stairs while Jeff gathered up the glasses and took them across to the kitchen. Before going up himself, he walked over to where Katy was seated and bent down and wrapped both his arms around her and held her close. Katy closed her eyes when she felt his long arms around her shoulders and the notes of his aftershave reached her senses. Jeff hugged her just like her father had. These moments when she found herself in his caring arms were the only true relief from her grief that she had known in the last four months.

He whispered into her ear while still holding her tight, "I had packed sleeping bags for us like old times, but will likely have a hard time getting that idea to fly with the wife." He chuckled a bit as he said it.

Katy leaned her head against his and replied, "That would have been so nice, she's not the one who lost anyone... you should just leave her upstairs!" A sly, indignant grin spread across her face as she laid her book down flat in her lap.

Jeff laughed at the notion before following up, "Maybe she'll get wasted tomorrow and we can camp out like we're kids again." He stood after he said it, towering over her. Jeff was as tall and wiry as Katy was short and curvy. He stood at nearly six and a half feet tall to Katy's just over five feet. They both had the same brown hair, but the rest of his physical attributes were inherited from their father just as Katy's were from their mother.

"Good night sis... Love you," he said before making his way toward the staircase and disappearing from her view.

"Love you back," Katy said softly before standing up, blanket still wrapped around her and making her way toward the sofa.

Katy stretched out on the sofa, happy to still find it warm from where her brother was seated and tried to refocus on her book. She quickly found her eyelids weighed down with fatigue and set the book aside on the table before rolling on her side to face the fire. The crackling of the flames along with the occasional squeak from the bed in the loft serenaded her into a semi-lucid state where it was impossible to tell if she was awake or asleep.

Her half dream state was interrupted by a punctuated series of sounds coming from the loft. Katy rubbed her eyes, the light of the fire now a dim glow, and glanced at her phone to see it was just past two in the morning. She indeed had fallen asleep. A moment later she was able to place the sound that had woken her as a woman's moans. Of course, they had to have originated from her sister-in-law which conjured up a visceral reaction. She contemplated tucking her head under the pillow in disgust, but her attention was piqued when she was able to make out words amidst the unintelligible moaning.

"Oh god... that's it... oh fuck Jeff! Keep going!"

Whether due to her own coping hornyness that had been denied earlier, or some opportunistic curiosity of a taboo nature, Katy was suddenly enraptured. Not that anything that Bethany was saying turned her on in the least, but she was overcome by curiosity as to how her big brother pleased the woman in his life. Katy had overheard them in their passionate moments before, going all the way back to when they were still only dating. But none of those times struck her like this one and she nearly disgusted herself by how curious she indeed was over it.

Katy leaned over the back of the sofa, knowing that with the proper vantage point, she might be able to make out what was going on. The loft had a banister that skirted the perimeter of the upper floor and was open to the rest of the cabin. The only source of light other than the dimming glow of the embers in the fireplace was the light in the kitchen above the sink which was perpetually left on when the cabin was occupied. It was not bright by any means but cast enough light so one could navigate the stairs without injuring themselves. Katy craned her neck trying to make out the shifting shadows between the pickets along the loft railing.

When her eyes adjusted and she saw what was happening, the same wave of tingling arousal began building up in her from earlier in the bathroom. She could see Bethany's leg elevated, her heel digging into her brother's back. His face was obscured, but she could tell he was licking her out and that she was obviously enjoying it. The moments between her gasps were filled with the wet sounds of her brother's mouth at work. Katy was a tumultuous balance of disgust and arousal over the scene, but the disgust dimmed in her mind like the embers of the fire as she felt the wet sensation of her own libido moistening between her legs. She had never fancied her brother in a sexual manner, and chalked this up as her body trying to cope with her situation and so eager for stimulation that it wouldn't have mattered who was upstairs in that moment.

Katy's hands began to wander down her body and dip inside the elastic waistband of her pyjamas while Bethany's moans and expressions became louder. By the time her own fingers reached her damp underwear, the cabin began to echo with the high-pitched gasps of her sister-in-law's climax. Katy bit her lip to stifle any of her own noises and massaged her moistening womanhood with her fingertips. She opened her mouth slightly and let out the quietest of moans before her attention was snapped back to present reality by Bethany's whimpers.

"Jeff.." the raspy whisper emanated from upstairs. "...I'm tired, let's go to sleep."

Katy again craned her neck to get a view of what was happening. The sound of Bethany's voice was coupled with the rustling and squeaking of the bed. Katy could make out in the shadows that her brother was flipping his wife on her front and getting into position behind her. She was also puzzled as to why Bethany objected after her brother had obviously done a fine job with his mouth. This only cemented her previous notion that Bethany was perhaps a selfish lover.

"Jeff! Come on... go and take care of it yourself!" Her voice was a whine nearly at normal speaking volume before being cut off by the sound of the bed creaking and her brother sighing in frustration From the motion of the shadows, Katy could tell he was making his way toward the stairs and she froze in fear.

"You know what Beth?" his low voice belying his frustration. I'll do just that..."

Bethany gave a disgusted sigh that echoed through the cabin. There was an equally loud creak as Jeff's frustrated footsteps reached the top of the stairs. Katy quickly and quietly turned her body on the sofa, facing the fireplace and kept her eyes tightly shut.

"Quiet..." Bethany rasped out. "No sister wants to be woken up by her brother going to jerk off in the toilet like some desperate pervert."

Whether it be due to her aroused state, or the satisfying of some taboo curiosity, Katy's mind silently responded to her comment... Oh shut it!, She just might

Her brother descended the remaining steps softly and she listened until she heard the sound of his feet on the floor. With her eyes barely cracked open, she saw his tall frame walk into the short corridor and into the bathroom and picked up on the soft light of his phone. When the door shut behind him, she resumed her lying position and spread her knees under the blanket.

Beyond the erratic crackling of the fire, and the latent snores of her sister-in-law, Katy could hear her brother from her perch on the sofa. The shame of her scandalous spectation on him only fed her curious appetite. He started to moan, even though he was obviously stifling the sound, Katy heard it and it made her soak her panties and fingers. The more aroused she became, the more she wondered what he was looking at on his phone, what he was thinking about, and how hard would he cum?

She planted her feet on the cushions as she lay on her back. Her knees were in the air and her fingertips worked feverishly on her clit. Her brother's moans were becoming louder and more frequent, and with each sound Katy felt herself approaching her point of no return. She was nearly frightened when her brother gasped out and grunted as if he had stubbed his toe on a piece of furniture. She realised he was cumming and her own body reacted by raising her hips off the sofa and rolling to her own climax while desperately attempting to quiet her gasps. Her legs shook and her muscles contorted while a single desperate moan escaped her lips.

Katy writhed on the sofa while her body went into autopilot. Even as she was just past the apex of her orgasm, thoughts of how wrong it was to linger as a spectator to her brother and his wife in their intimate moments, and now his private self indulgence, began to assault her senses. She was aghast at how conventionally disgusting it was that she used it for her own pleasure.

She hadn't the time to think on it long or even catch her breath before the bathroom door clicked open and her brother emerged to go back up to the loft. In a panic, she lay still, closing her eyes and holding her still desperate breath. His footsteps stopped for a moment before she heard them pick up again then finally the creaking of the stairs announced his ascension. Katy finally exhaled and rolled back to her side under the cover of the squeaking bed in the loft. Her eyes now wide open, Katy felt a wave of shame wash over her. What she didn't expect was the sensation that came after the shame. Thoughts of how Bethany didn't deserve her brother's attention and how she wished that Bethany wasn't here. Was she jealous? Was this all just part of some grieving process that she had to work through? Was she fucked up now? Would she dare even mention this in counseling?

Katy waited until she heard the slow, steady breathing of her sleeping brother before crawling down off the sofa and silently putting more wood on the fire. As the flames began to lick up the additional fuel, her mind finally succumbed to her bodily fatigue and she drifted off the sleep.

Seemingly a moment later she was awakened by the glare of the morning sun streaming onto her face through the window and the clanging of pots and pans in the kitchen. Katy stretched her arms before sitting up and looking around to see her brother in the kitchen busy making breakfast and hearing the crackling of the re-kindled fire. She gave a satisfied smile when she picked out the aroma of fresh coffee brewing. Katy pulled off her blanket and set her sock-clad feet on the floor and stood up.

"It's been a while since I've had anyone make me breakfast!" she said with a smile.

Jeff responded without looking up from the bacon frying in the pan in front of him. "Takes me back a little bit!"

Katy grinned remembering how her brother always loved to cook a feast for breakfast on lazy weekends when they were younger and even in this very cabin. Though not very healthy, she always enjoyed the hearty breakfast meals that he loved to make on those occasions.

She poured herself a cup of coffee and sauntered across the kitchen. Jeff looked up at her and grinned. When his gaze met hers, she was suddenly reminded of the events of the previous night. Her eyes opened wide when she saw the grin on her brother's bearded face and all the moans and sounds of him pleasuring his wife and then himself replayed in her mind. She turned away as nonchalantly as she could manage and sat herself down at the table and sipped her coffee.

"Where's your better half?" Katy quipped between sips.

"Oh she's still asleep," her brother responded. "She.. uh... didn't sleep well last night."

Katy held up her cup so it covered her lips and murmured "Oh, you don't say?" out of Jeff's earshot.

As if on cue, the creaking of the steps announced Bethany's descent down to the kitchen. Katy glanced toward her as she reached the bottom, clad in a fuzzy robe. For the first time, Katy noticed the extent of the many physical features that she and Bethany shared. They were both brunettes of similar build and shape, though Bethany was the taller by an inch or two. One of the only noticeable contrasts were Bethany's brown eyes compared to Katy's hazel mixture of greens, greys, and hints of blue. The thought was both interesting and perplexing.

Jeff spoke up from the stove, "Morning! Fresh coffee in the pot!"

Bethany just glowered at him and stepped off to the bathroom carrying her bag with her. Katy watched her storm out of view and the door shut behind her before looking over at her brother who watched his wife with a look of concern and frustration in his eyes.

"What was all that about?" Katy queried, still not making eye contact with her brother.

"Oh, I'm pretty sure she's pissed at me," Jeff mumbled under his breath as he began to set out the bacon.

"Seriously?" Katy retorted, her annoyance at Bethany overcoming her desire to avert eye contact with her brother. "What's she got to be pissed about? She's not lifted a finger to do anything since we've arrived!" Silently, her mind followed up the statement with ...even in bed!

Jeff smirked as he brought over the plate of bacon along with eggs and roasted potatoes. "I'll tell you later, Sis."

Katy had some idea of why she might be upset based on what she overheard during the night, but was emboldened and curious to see how much her brother would actually divulge if pressed.

"You mean there's a time where she's not up your ass having you do everything for her?"

Even though the comment was an honest one, she immediately wondered if perhaps it was out of line. She grabbed a piece of bacon from the plate and looked intently at her brother to see how he would respond. He sipped his own coffee and then looked up at her.

"Let's just say she isn't exactly thrilled with how I've been handling all this since... you know."

Katy's boldness was quickly replaced by remorse over pressing the issue. She could see the frustration practically screaming out behind his eyes. She reached across the table and took his hand.

"Well I don't care what she says or thinks. She's just lucky to have you." She paused for a moment before releasing his hand.

"Damn right she is!" Jeff quipped back with a laugh.

Katy smiled but was also hit with a sense of concern for her brother. She knew he used joking as a way to deflect a difficult situation and it was a sign that he was, in fact, not okay. The worry over her brother swirled together with her latent jealous and horny emotions and formed into an idea.

"Let's take a walk around the lake today! Just like we used to! That will give you a chance to talk through what's bugging you without...her.... around."

Jeff looked at her like he was considering the benefits of the idea, albeit silently.

"It's fucking freezing out there Katy!" he weakly objected.

"You know you want to escape... I can see it in your eyes!" Katy turned the charm on knowing that her big brother would cave in to her.

"Ugh... fine!" he smiled and gave her a playful shove across the table. "But let's eat up. We'll need to stay warm out there!"

The two ate their breakfast and drank their coffee and were nearly finished by the time Bethany emerged from the bathroom dressed in jeans and a sweatshirt and sporting wet hair. She seemed less perturbed than when she went in, but only slightly.

"Katy and I were planning on a walk around the lake after breakfast," Jeff said as he poured his wife a cup of coffee. "You want to come?"

Katy could have kicked her brother over that notion. Even if she didn't want a chance to spend time with him alone, regardless of the reason, she would have rather not had Bethany in tow.

"You've got to be kidding right?" Bethany blurted in response. "There's six inches of snow everywhere and my hair will freeze!" Bethany plopped herself down at the table in a manner that could best be described as incredulous.

"Alright then, we'll see you when we've made it back," Jeff said as he carried the dishes to the sink.

Katy was more than relieved that Bethany had elected to stay behind willfully. She plucked up her coat and mittens as her big brother made sure the satellite television was working properly before leaving the remote control with his wife. Katy went ahead and stepped out onto the porch ahead of her brother all bundled up for the cold and surveyed the mountainous winterscape. Her mind flitted to memories of herself, her brother, and father at the cabin and she smiled while reminiscing. But pricking her memory was the torrid scene from the night before. Try as she might, she couldn't shake it and the clumsy mixture of shame and arousal again surged inside her.

"Ready then?" Her brother's low voice shocked her out of her concentration. She had been so lost in thought that she didn't even hear him come outside.

"I've been ready, just waiting for you to finish showing the Mrs how to work the tele!" she quipped back at him with a grin.

The pair walked down the snow-covered path until they began to follow the perimeter of the lake. A small breeze swept over the cold water and gave Katy a shiver but Jeff reached his arm around her shoulders and pulled her in beside him.

"Can't have you getting sick on holiday now!" he said before lowering his arm. As he dropped it, Katy slipped her own arm in his and kept trudging through the snow beside him.

"So, I can tell that something is bothering you. I mean... other than the obvious..." she offered softly. "You know the therapist told us both to not keep it bottled up, especially from each other." She pried partially from genuine concern and partially from nosey curiosity.

"Oh, that doesn't really have much to do with dad or you at all," Jeff said.

"All the same, don't feel like you've got to bury it down!"

"It's a bit embarrassing... err, well... at least to talk about with my sister anyway," he added softly.

Katy continued to press as gently as she could allow herself. "Ah, I still remember when you were a dorky lanky guy who couldn't get a date! It can't be more embarrassing than that!"

They both gave a hearty chuckle and their breath turned to billows of steam into the cold air.

"Yes, you would say that wouldn't you!" Jeff continued on through the snow, making sure to restrain his long strides to stay linked in arm with his shorter sister. "Well... I've kind of... wanted to... like... I need to fuck a lot since dad passed." He paused as if he couldn't believe he was saying it out loud. "I know that sounds just awful, but the counselor says it's one of the ways some people try to escape their grief after a loss like that. It's so weird and fucked up, but it's like if I can't get my mind off all the memories and sad thoughts like that, then my body takes over with urges to try and cope... at least that's what they're telling me."

Katy was stunned to hear that she and her brother were alike in this way. It was oddly comforting to hear that Jeff was facing the same challenges with his grief as she was facing with hers and also made the scene from the night before start to make sense. But she wasn't quite finished mining for information yet.

"No need to be shy about that!" she said. "So what's the problem? You've got a wife to fuck whenever you need to! I've got to settle for whatever college guy is available at the moment..."

She stopped herself short, not entirely intending to let on that she was facing the same challenges and urges, but also wanting to encourage him for her own reasons.

Jeff stopped in his tracks and looked down at her, bits of snow starting to cling to his beard. "You mean to say you've got the same thing going on?"