Guilt and Redemption

"Mon Dieu," Amélie sobbed. "Oh, God, please. Please help me. I can't ... I can't do this anymore. Please, Lena. Oh, please help me."

"How?" Lena asked. "I don't know what to do. What do I need to do?"

"I don't know," Amélie sobbed into Lena's shoulder. "I don't know what you've done already. I have never felt like this. I thought they took it all away," she looked up at Tracer now, her eyes shiny with so many tears, "I don't know why but you have this hold on me. I don't understand it. No one has ever affected me like you."

Lena just held on and looked at this poor broken woman. The stoic mask of the cold-blooded killer she thought she knew was crumbling. After all this time, she saw Amélie Lacroix struggling to free herself from what they had done. It was then and there that she made what she thought was a completely heartfelt and completely stupid decision.

"I will help you," she whispered and Amélie looked relieved. "I will do what I can, but know that I have no idea what I'm going to do or if it will even do any good. I don't know anything about this stuff, OK? I have no idea how deep this goes or what I can even try to do or even think about breaking or even reversing it."

She looked around at their surroundings, realizing they were still in an alley but no one had yet discovered them.

"First thing's first, Love," she said straightening, "Does Talon know you are here? Are you monitored in any way?"

"They only know of some of my safe houses and I left my phone with my usual equipment in France," Amélie replied, wiping her eyes.

"They might think you've been captured then," Lena nodded. "That means, once it's discovered you are gone, they will come looking for you."

Lena grabbed Amélie's hand and pulled her quickly back onto the street. "C'mon," she said, "We have to get you out of here and out of plain sight before it's too late."

"Where?" Amélie asked.

Lena smiled her cute, girlish smile and, for the first time, Amélie found it enduring. "My place," Lena replied happily. "It's not much, but I don't think Talon knows where I live otherwise I'm sure you would have put a bullet in my noggin while I was in the bath or something a long time ago."

That thought disturbed Amélie and she paused only for a moment. Lena gave her a friendly tug. "I promise, you'll be safer there than anywhere else I can think of," Lena said.

Amélie nodded and they were off through the streets of London. The pain had gone from Amélie's chest and was replaced with a new, if not completely foreign feeling: hope.

3

Lena's flat was more spacious than Amélie had realized. The furniture was colorful and comfortable. A few delightful pictures decorated the walls as well as a flatscreen television on the living room wall.

"It's not a mansion or anything, but it's home sweet home," Lena had said as she locked the door behind them.

Amélie thought it was nice and so very Tracer. What caught her attention was a battered book on the coffee table by the sofa. It was a collection of poetry by Robert Frost. So the silly foolish girl was cultured. This made Amélie smile.

"I don't know if you want anything to drink or anything," Lena said. "I don't really know what you like to do to relax. I usually go for a spot of tea. I want you to be comfortable. This must be very trying for you."

Amélie was really impressed despite herself. Tracer was just as charming and caring as she had thought. Here she was, in her home, with someone who had been her enemy for so long, and yet, she was offering her comfort and tea. It was so strange yet Amélie embraced it. One step at a time, she told herself.

"It has been more than I imagined," Amélie admitted. She turned to Tracer. "I don't know what to say. Truly, I am - how you say - floored by how you are taking this."

"Well, normally I'd be very wary of you," Lena nodded, "I'd be looking for the catch, the trick. But when you cried, I -"

She stopped and shook her head, clearing her mind of whatever she was going to say. Amélie was silent and only stood, unsure and exposed. Finally, Lena looked her in the eye.

"When you cried, I just knew," Lena said. "This is no trick. You came all the way to me, unarmed, completely vulnerable and I have never known you to do something like that," She raked her fingers through her spiky hair, making it only spikier. "I am just as floored as you. I have to admit, I never in a million years could see this happening."

"All I knew is I couldn't get you out of my head and I didn't know why," Amélie admitted. "I knew I had to face you, for better or for ill, to face whatever this is conflicting with my training. Either it was going to be resolved with more determination to reinforce that training or it was going to break."

Lena gave her a worried look. "It's already breaking," she said. "I saw that look, your face. You broke through it. No amount of acting can make that look or make those tears I saw you cry."

Amélie only nodded. It was true. Somehow, this woman has found and opened that small crack in Talon's influence. For the first time in a long time, Amélie felt her old self again. She had thought her lost.

Lena laughed a brief huff. "Honestly, I can't believe I'm even doing this," Lena said throwing her hands in the air. "I mean, it's so stupid. The others are going to be furious with me."

She then turned to Amélie and a hardened look of resolve came over her as something came to mind. Amélie resisted the urge to step away as Lena came closer to her. "I will tell you this," Lena said low. "I have been known to be a bleeding heart, I will not apologize for being kind, but if you betray me or take advantage of me because of the kindness I should, by all logical means, not even be showing you, I promise, I can be just as much of a bitch as I can be a sweetheart and I will show you I am no pushover."

Amélie nodded. "I know you aren't," she replied. "We have fought before. I know what you are capable of. I do not wish to fight you anymore."

Lena was taken aback by not just the words but the sincerity she felt as Amélie looked at her. She wasn't faking this. She wasn't trying to gain her trust in order to betray her. Once again, Lena's intuition kicked in and told her Amélie meant what she said. She sighed and nodded as she accepted the woman's declaration.

"Well, then it's settled," Lena said. "I will trust you and help you, for now, but know that I will be watching you."

"I understand."

"Good," Lena let out another sigh. "Well, you must be exhausted with all the stress of the situation and the trip here. I should put on a pot of tea."

"Actually, do you have a bath?" Amélie asked.

Lena smiled. "That is a good idea and yes, I do. It's actually one of my favorite ways to unwind. I don't usually do it in the afternoon but, extenuating circumstances and all that aside, it might be just what the doctor ordered."

Tracer led Widowmaker to a small bathroom with a nice clawfoot tub. It looked large enough for two people. "I usually have these awesome bath salts. They really work out your stress," she said as she opened a cabinet and produced a little white bath bomb.

"Only one problem," Amélie said with apprehension. "I didn't really bring any clothes with me."

Lena looked at her with an open mouth. "Wait, you mean to tell me you just grabbed what you are wearing and came all the way from France with no weapons, no phone, and no luggage whatsoever?"

"That is correct."

Lena was stunned. "That is definitely not like you," Lena said shaking her head. "You are always so organized and so precise. You really were out of sorts weren't you?"

Amélie looked a little embarrassed. "I also did not know if they could track me with my equipment or any items I owned so I traveled very light."

Lena thought about it and nodded. "Ok, you are a bit taller than I am but I think we're about the same size," she gave Amélie a quick once over. "I can give you some of my digs I guess. We'll have to work out some details later."

"Alright," Amélie said.

"Well then," Lena said turning on the water. "The water should run hot and the bath salts will be especially helpful. You just soak and relax. I'll be just out here if you need me."

With that, Lena left the faucet to fill the tub with steaming water and closed the door behind her. Amélie worked her long hair out of it's loose braid as she watched the tub fill. For more than once today she found herself wondering if she were doing the right thing. This felt right, she told herself. She needed this. With a deep cleansing breath, she stripped, placed the bath bomb in the hot water, and slid into the comfort of the bathtub. The warmth immediately took the stress from her cold limbs as she leaned back on the rounded lip. She didn't know what could be done but she was determined to take this one step at a time.

4

While Amélie was in the bath, Lena had put on some tea before taking a deep breath and calling one of her trusted friends for advice and maybe words of wisdom. Satya Vaswani, also known as Symmetra, was a friend and close ally and if anyone could give Lena wisdom and a sense of balance, it was Symmetra. The Indian woman was known for her mystical nature and touch with all things dealing with Harmony and Balance with the universe. She picked up on the second ring.

"Tracer," the exotic voice purred from the other end of the line, "this is a surprise."

"Hi Symmetra," Lena smiled as she curled up on the sofa, "I hope I'm not calling late. I forget timezones and all that."

"Ah no, it's no bother," Satya replied. "It isn't late or anything. I just finished my meditations anyway. How is everything?"

"Good," Lena said and immediately bit her lip. She knew Satya could hear the tone of her voice and could just picture the woman with her inquisitive eyebrow arched.

"Mhmm," Symmetra simply said. "So good you are calling me to tell me how your life is just peachy keen and there's no trouble, eh?"

"I don't always call you if there's trouble," Lena said playfully trying to diffuse the situation. "Maybe I was calling to see how you are."

"Mhmm," Symmetra said again with an amused lilt. "Well, if you are wondering, I am fantastic, in perfect health in body and mind, and been working on some of those turret reprograms that D.Va insisted on modifying for me. So I am dandy. You, my friend, sound like you have a lot on your mind. Don't try to deny it, just tell me."

Lena sighed. "Ok, of all the people I know, you won't freak out at what I am going to tell you. Well," she hesitated and rolled her eyes, "at least you won't freak out as badly."

"Oh, this sounds absolutely intriguing," Satya purred. "Should I be sitting for this?"

"Yeah," Lena agreed. "Sitting might be a good idea."

She proceeded to tell her friend all that had happened in the alley and, as expected, there was some freaking out, but not as much as Lena had anticipated. It was Symmetra after all, and freaking out was just not in her character.

"I should start with reprimanding you on how stupid this whole thing is," Satya said with a sigh. "I mean, Lena, this is monumentally stupid. This woman is not Amélie Lacroix anymore. When Talon got their claws in her, she changed. Widowmaker is a cold, heartless killer. You know this and I know this. She is wanted for murder by no less than a dozen different organizations. She's dangerous."

"I know," Lena said putting her face in her palm. "I normally don't do anything like this. I was more than determined to kick her ass in that alley and leave but you didn't see her, Satya. She's going through some sort of ... I don't know ... psychiatric breakdown?"

"That just makes this even stupider," Satya said calmly. "If she's breaking down, that means she is unstable and confused and this could blow up in your face. That means at any moment, she could revert to the conditioning and murder you!"

"Well, I can't leave her," Lena whined, then sat up straight with determination, "I won't leave her. No matter what we have been through in the past, I simply can't deny someone who needs my help. Even if it's her."

"That is why you are a hero true and true," Satya said with a chuckle. "Just watch yourself. You know, if anyone can do any sort of evaluation it would be Mercy. Have you spoken to Angela at all about this yet?"

"No, you're the first person I contacted."

"I'm touched," Satya admitted. "Ok, you want my advice? Keep her in your sight at all times and stay alert. See if Mercy can check her out and see if Amélie can even be salvaged without having a lobotomy or something drastic. And please be careful. If she kills you, I personally will hunt her down to the corners of the earth and I will not be merciful."

Lena smiled. Satya was normally a very peaceful woman and for her to say this was a huge indication of how much Tracer meant to her.

"I promise I'll be careful," Lena said, "and I'll contact Mercy and see what she can do. I just ... I don't know. This isn't what I expected from Amélie. She cried, Satya, CRIED. She isn't supposed to cry. In fact, I've never seen her like that. It was, um, heart wrenching. I can't walk away from this no matter the cost."

Satya said nothing for a few moments but when she spoke, it had Lena's full attention. "Are you sure you are simply doing this because you feel a soft spot for people in need or is this about Amélie personally?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean," Satya sighed and made a noise like she was trying to think of the right words to say, "are you ... attracted to her?"

The question hit Lena like a lightning bolt between the eyes. She almost dropped her phone. "Oh, no," she said and made a dismissive gesture, "no no no a thousand times no. Up until now I felt only sympathy for her. I mean, I always hated what she was and what she did but it was Talon's doing. Yes, she went with it but it wasn't her fault. They didn't give her a choice, remember? They kidnapped her, tortured her, brainwashed her until her will was completely stripped away and she was nothing like she was."

"That was a lot of 'nos'," Sayta said quietly. "Think about this for a moment. What if it were Reaper or Roadhog for instance? Would you have been as willing to help them?"

Lena bit her lip. Damn it. She did not like where this was going. Her thoughts went to Amélie. Tall, pale blue skin, long raven hair, golden piercing eyes, and womanly curves that were only accentuated by that skin tight vinyl suit she wore on missions. Before she knew it, Lena felt her cheeks warm.

"That's what I thought," Satya replied without waiting for an answer. "There's always been this aura with you two. A strange harmony balancing out your personalities. It is said opposites attract and well, there is definitely an attraction between you two. You being all perky and bright and she being dark and cold. Don't forget, she came to you. You affected her and short circuited her well placed conditioning. Has she even explained why she sought you, of all people, out?"

"Well," Lena began, "she only said she didn't know why I affected her this way or why she felt..." she trailed off as the realization hit her.

"Mhmm," Satya said completing her unfinished statement. "As I thought. You make her feel this and you alone. Even Gérard didn't make her feel this way or question herself like you do.

"Lena," Satya said in a very serious tone, "the greatest force known to all things is love. If it comes to that, and you are sure about it, don't fight it. It may be the one thing that will save her. However, like I have stressed before, BE CAREFUL. Don't let your heart rule over your feelings. You will wind up more than hurt with this woman. You can end up dead and no one wants that."

Lena gulped. She was treading on very dangerous ground here and she hadn't even seen it. "I will definitely watch my back and my heart."

"Good," Satya said. "Contact me if you need me for anything. I adore you, my friend."

"You're the best Satya," Lena said smiling. "No worries, Love. I may have a bleeding heart but I don't let it overrule my common sense."

5

Amélie realized as there was a knock on the door that she had dozed off. The water was still warm but the bath salts had long since dissolved.

"Amélie?" Lena's voice came almost timidly from the other side of the door. "Are you doing ok, Love? I brought you some things that might fit you."

"Oui," Amélie said as she sat up. "You can come in."

Lena took a deep breath and held the clothes she found to her chest. You can do this, Lena, she thought as she opened the door. She saw Amélie in the bathtub still with nothing more than her head and shoulders exposed but it made Lena pause. Amélie's face had an innocence that Tracer had never seen before. Tracer had also never seen Widowmaker's hair down and the sight was breathtaking. Long, straight hair that was so dark it had a bluish highlight to it framed her perfect heart shaped face and flowed over slender shoulders. Her large, narrow eyes peered beneath those waves and Lena had to clear her throat in embarrassment as she realized she was staring at the beautiful French woman in her tub.

"The bath salts were wonderful," Widowmaker said quietly.

"I hoped they would be," Lena replied with a cheerful grin. She sat the clothes she brought on the sink and went to the cabinet for towels. "I hope these fit you properly," Lena said while grabbing to large, fluffy towels. "You are taller than I am but these always were a bit big on me."

She turned with towels in hand and froze. Amélie stood before her gloriously naked. She had quietly stepped out of the tub and pulled the drain to let the water out. Lena was entranced. That vinyl suit left little to the imagination, true, but seeing Amélie without it was more than Lena had ever imagined. She couldn't have stopped herself from gaping even if she tried. The woman was a vision with long limbs and feminine curves in all the right places. That long hair she was admiring earlier cascaded over her shoulders and down her back like a mantle of beauty that suddenly made Lena want to brush it for hours and never grow tired. She shook her head as Satya's words replayed in her head. Good God, Lena thought, I am attracted to her.

She mentally stomped down this revelation as she smiled and handed one of the towels to Amélie who smiled back in return and proceeded to dry herself off. She turned and Tracer saw the widow tattoo on her back as well as her gorgeous round butt. As the towel slipped over to dry, Lena turned to the clothes she brought, admonishing herself for staring.

"I know you are probably used to wearing something a little fancier," Lena said. Was her voice cracking? Oh, dear God, Lena, get a grip, she chided herself. "I figure once we get settled more, we can probably get you better clothes."

"I'm not really used to fancy clothes," Amélie replied. "I haven't gone to balls or anything in a long time."

Not since Gérard was killed, Lena thought. Not since Talon had taken over and made her into a killer. No parties or whatever when you have people to shoot. Lena felt a great sadness wash over her.

"I, ah, didn't have any bras however," Lena said. "I usually wear sports bras."

"That's fine," Amélie replied. "I still have my own that I was wearing."

"You can't wear those," Lena said turning to her. Amélie had wrapped the towel around her so at least her body wasn't on display anymore. "These are soft and comfy and I need to wash what you were wearing."

"Fair enough," Amélie said.

Tracer handed her a large T shirt with a British flag silk-screened on it and a pair of dark blue yoga pants. She turned away as Amélie dropped the towel and started getting dressed in the borrowed clothes.

"I called Mercy," Lena said noticing that she could still see Widowmaker in the mirror. She turned away from that too and stared at the floor. Even the sound of the clothing rustling against that blue skin was making her nervous. "She wants to check you out. Find out if there's anything that might cause permanent damage in case you break through the conditioning. I wouldn't put it past Talon to make some sort of fail-safe."