All Comments on 'Half the Man Ch. 02'

It's a slice of realism. I can feel the pain and anguish.

I love the writing, and am curious on the plot. Definitely different. I am looking forward to more. I can only imagine the pain the characters are going through. Mari's mother is a true bitch, to do what she is doing. There are so many themes it is hard to keep it all together.

But that makes it a challenging fun read.

kravmor

that not ALL of the mysterious calls are being made to mommy dearest!

I think you have done a great job of capturing BOTH of their emotional immaturity. A horrific accident like this would be life-altering for ANYONE, but clearly their relationship isn't strong enough.

I will remind myself to be optimistic about their chances for growth, since you placed this in Romance instead of Loving Wives. However, all of the set up so far, has given this thing every hallmark of the standard LW betrayal scenario.

Of course the BEST difference is, that your technical writing skills are a vast improvement over many of the typical story-tellers around here. You are doing GREAT with both dialogue and character development. Even if the reader is "sure" they know where this is heading, you have left enough doubt to keep us tuning in to find out if we were right.

Thanks so much for this heart-wrenching thought-provoker!

It makes the reader wonder just how we might react if this situation happened to us? It is VERY easy to say:

"OF COURSE! I would care for and nurse my spouse NO MATTER WHAT!"

But, if that sad reality actually reared its ugly head, could we really control how we FEEL about that responsibility? Could we adapt to the changes? It would be tough for anybody, even a 45yo w/ a 20 year marriage. Imagine the struggle for this 22yo only married 7 months????

Tough! It is tough. I hope everyone, characters and readers alike, learn something from this challenging tale. As for being well on your way to delivering this morality lesson, Mo, so far you are NAILING it!

Great job and Thanks!

he needs to calm down, let her nurse him to health then divorce her ass

Mari sure is selfish. She is frustrated and confused about everything which is understandable but she is acting foolish. She won't contact a doctor because she doesn't want to add more to their pile of debt. Dylan should see his doctor for his own piece of mind, maybe his meds can be adjusted.

I did a poor job of presenting this story to you the reader. It has been judged guilty of being something it is not, tried, and executed. For that reason I have suspended voting on all Chapters until the last Chapter has posted. If I could do it all over again I would post the entire story at once.

I realize now I should have prepared the reader better for what the story is about. I accept the blame for that.

There was never any cuckoldry implied or otherwise. It does however deal with a myriad of themes. Some hidden within the words.

Please accept my heartfelt apologies.

M1

and long, drawn out and painful. TK U MLJ LV NV

thanks for the offering.

and the other rides and drags their feet. TK U MLJ LV NV

This is pretty pedestrian stuff. Nothing particularly clever or inventive about it. Standard faire. I'll give it one more chapter to become interesting before I give up. A "2" for this chapter also.

Only explanation I can think of