Halloween in Roanapur

"Decided to come stay awhile," I said. "Got myself a place to stay and everything, friend of a friend suggested I look you up, say hi."

"Hi," Revy said, and she laughed. "Bao, bring a bottle," she called out. "Trexy and I got some partying to do," and when it arrived, she was, like, "Sharing is caring. Let's have another one."

So we did, and I felt a sight fucking better after half a dozen more, and yeah, Revy got the drift of what was going down, 'n I sorta mentioned 'ol Tex, bless his boots, that he'd been asking after her.

"I'll kill that fucker, next time I see him." She just about exploded, and yeah, that was the Revy I knew.

I shrugged. Don't need to," I said. "That poor little fucker's floating in a canal right now, tossed him out the window." Just another body, that's all he was gonna be by the morning, and this was Roanapur, somebody'd probably have a use for the body 'n it'd have disappeared. Yeah, his boss'd be joining him soon enough, coz Tex mighta mentioned me to his boss, but no need for Bao to know that, or who his boss was.

I smiled, and after half a bottle of Bacardi, Roanapur was looking pretty good, and sitting here with Revy, it was like it was back when I was ten, 'n she was fifteen, except better, and she musta seen my face.

"Trexy," Revy said, 'n she looked at me, 'n I could see she was serious. "If you think about it, other than this..." 'n she waved her hand around, but I didn't look, because I knew where we were as well as she did, "...what do we really value in life? God? Love? Don't make me laugh. When I was a brat, crawling around in that shithole city, it seemed God and Love were always sold out when I went looking. Before I knew better, I clung to God and prayed to Him every single night — yeah, I believed in God right up until that night the cops beat the hell out of me for no reason at all. All they saw when they looked at me was another little ghetto rat. With no power and no God, what's left for a poor little Chinese bitch to rely on? It's money, of course, and guns. Fuckin' A, Trexy. With these two things, the world's a great place, and Roanapur, I dunno, I love this place. There's nowhere else I can call home."

"I know, Revy," I said. "I know. I was there when they beat the hell out of you, remember. Who was it dragged you outa that backalley onto the street, and got you into that ER?" Jesus, I remembered that night, and I'd been fucking terrified, and it'd been Revy that'd had the shit kicked out of her by those cops and then there'd been that asshole Ortiz, and I'd been hiding back of the waste bins where Revy'd pushed me, 'n I'd watched as those assholes from the 27th Precinct put their boots in.

I'd signed up with Ong to do deliveries the next day, seven years later. I'd followed him in, stood by his table, not saying a word, 'n old Mr. Ong knew, like he was reading my mind. He scared the shit out of me then. Still did, but scared or not, I'd taken him and the Sinaloa Cartel for fifty million., 'n I was still shit scared, but I was shit scared with fifty million bucks in the banks and safety deposit boxes, and guns. I had guns now, too.

That, and I was in Roanapur, and I had Revy Two Hands. Cousin Rebecca.

"I know you did, Trexy," Revy said, 'n she'd lost that hard look. "I remember." She took a long drag on that half-smoked cigarette."You know, when I was a brat and crawling around in the streets, for some reason God and love were always sold out." She eyed me. "I had to get outta there, Trexy. Those cops were gonna kill me. I had to go."

"I know," I said. I hadn't at the time, but yeah, eventually I'd cluded in on that one.

"I killed them both you know," I said, after a long silence, and we were both good at those. "The other two."

"Good," she said. Then, "How?"

I smiled, and my eyes matched Revy's, ice for ice. "Got them both the same night, ditched the gun in the harbor."

"Good," she said, 'n she smiled. "Thanks for caring, Trexy. You were the only one that did."

"Yeah, well. You looked after me, Revy. You were the only one that ever did." Had the scars to prove it, too. I laughed. "Taught me to shoot, too."

"Guess I did, huh. And now look at us."

"Now look at us," I said.

"What the fuck is it with you two?" Rock said, sitting down opposite us, 'n we both looked at him, and he was, like, "What is this? Am I in a movie or something?"

Revy looked at him, looked around the Yellow Flag, 'n slammed back her bacardi. "Movie? Don't be stupid. This is more entertaining than Hollywood is ever gonna be!"

Dutch grinned. "Yeah, and it's gonna get better." He was on the floor, flipping the table, dragging Rock down with him, and all around us people were diving for the floor, and the steel shutters over the bar were slamming down.

"There she is," someone yelled, and fuck, a dozen of the Aryan Nation's best were pouring in the door of the Yellow Flag, guns waving, 'n you could just about see the swastika flying over their fucking heads. "Kill the slant-eyed bitch."

"Which one?" one of them called, 'n Revy had her Beretta's out, 'n I could see why they called her Two Hands, coz she had one in each fucking hand and she was pouring it out.

"Nah, you want full auto for this sorta job, bitch," I said, and hey, that little Brugger and Thomet APC9 was outa my handbag and in my hands, and I wasn't a pray and spray kinda girl. Little bursts, targeted, That sort three-to-five rounds, start low and let the recoil ride the rounds up through center of body mass and move on.

First burst took the loud mouthed one from the groin up to the neck, sprayed blood everywhere, and I was having fun here.

"Leave some for me, bitch," Revy yelled, reloading, 'n I plugged the one that'd been lining up on her with a good long burst that danced him back to the wall and held him there, 'n by the time I'd reloaded, she'd finished them off.

"Fuck it, Two hands," Bao said, peering out from around the steel plates, looking around. "How many times have you trashed my place? I'll tell you. Sixteen times you've done this. Sixteen! That's it, Revy. Get outa my bar."

"I was just having a drink," Revy said, virtuously. "Not my fault if your bouncers can't keep the trash out." She laughed. "Just be glad Roberta wasn't here. Or Balalaika."

"Aiiiyaaah, Jesus," Bao said, 'n he shuddered, 'n I had no idea why, but I couldn't help laughing, and that Brugger and Thomet APC9, Jesus, it was smoking. I could feel the heat, and I was gonna have to pop into the Ninja Arms, and pick up some more ammo in the morning, coz I'd gone through half a dozen mags.

"You fucking crazy bitches," the skinny old German with the weird moustache still down on the floor was pissed. Yeah, he was, front of his big baggy shorts was soaked, and it wasn't the beer he'd been drinking. That was all over the floor.

"Quit whining, dipshit," I said, smiling. "Life's a ride. Might as well have some fun, and you're still alive. Quite the bitching.."

"You owe me a beer, slant-eyed bitch," he said, levering his way up onto his knees.

"Bitch?" I said, the muzzle of that Brugger and Thomet APC9 caressing his forehead, and Revy's Beretta was right next to it.

"Beer's like piss water. Gives me no buzz at all. This is what you drink if you're a real man," Revy said, and her other hand reached out and took the Bacardi from the bar. "You wanna join us, or you want me to weld your asshole shut and bore a new nine millimeter one through your head as a replacement?"

"Enough, Revy. Enough," Bao said, but he didn't go near her hands. Either of them. He didn't go near my Brugger and Thomet APC9 either.

"Yeah, he's right, Revy," I said. "Why don't you park your ass in a seat, Herr...?"

"Schicklgruber. Alois Schicklgruber," he spat. "And I do not drink with racial inferiors."

"Well, fuck you too," I said, and I looked out at the slaughterhouse and grinned. "Dunno about racial inferiors, buddy, but it looks to me like a lotta your kameraden are fairly fucked. You got anyone else here to drink with?"

"Donner und blitzen!" the old geezer looked around, peering over the table as he struggled to his feet, face livid with rage. "You two chinese whores? How is this possible? You have killed the flower of Aryan manhood, you putrid little ..."

"Call me Jewish and you're dead," I said. Had enough of those Jewish-American princesses in New York. Bitches, every one of them, and I'd offed a couple that wouldn't pay Mr. Ong what they owed him, back when I was starting out. Mind you, I wasn't, like, prejudiced. I offed everyone Mr. Ong asked me too.

"You a whore, Revy?"

"No," she said. "Not last time I thought about it. What about you, Trexy?"

"You are both whores," Herr Schicklgruber spat, which was when I noticed those boots he was wearing. Shiny black military style boots, not cowboy boots, but they did send a little tingle through me..

"Ah, fuck it," I said, and I pulled the trigger, put a dozen rounds up and down Herr Schicklgruber in a couple of seconds flat, 'n bounced him across the floor to join his kameraden.

"Yeah, why not," Revy said, 'n she put a 9mm through Herr Schicklgruber's skull, and guess he was stitched up now. He wasn't complaining about slant-eyed whores, anyhow.

"Two Hands, that is enough," Bao said. "You can't just go killing anyone you don't like. Not in my bar..."

"Shit happens, Bao," Revy said. "Live with it. You want another drink, Trexy?"

"At this point in the night," I said, kind of philosophically, "if I'm not getting fucked by a man who's wearing nothing but cowboy boots, I might as well give up. Gimme another shot, Bao, and then bring another bottle."

"Hey honey, you good for an all-nighter?" one of the Americans said, standing up.

I looked, and I really liked the look of that hard-on I came face to face with.

And he was wearing boots too, so the night was really looking up.

"Keep those boots on and it's free for you, Yankee trash".

Maybe I wouldn't even have to kill him afterwards.

Just help him out the window, into the canal.

"You be gentle with him," Revy grinned.

Yeah! Halloween in Roanapur.

This was my kinda party.

Hope you enjoyed my little take on "Black Lagoon," and if you've never read it, it's a Japanese manga series that actually works really well for an American audience. Much better than a lot of Japanese manga, and the english-language versions are really well done. No sex, but a lot of violence, and Revy Two-hands... well, let's just say I love Revy Two-hands... Chloe