All Comments on 'Hanna the Home Wrecker'

when you are going to tell so much of a story, you have to give it the length it needs. The writing lacked consistency because of this. This isn't normally the kind of story I read but I am trying other types. This could have been better if youjust takle a little more time and pace your self. I love the fact that for once the white guy gets the black woman instead of vice versa as is so often the case.

Regards

There's too much here and too little focus. This becomes a "everything but the kitchen sink" story, and you dash from one to another.

Nice but a little off topic. The topic was about your black female character, she didn't really need to be married to do all that kinky shit. She had it in her already. To have another affair because her husband cheated on her is one thing, but everything esle is just plain over board extreme. You chould've left her single and made her first sexual encounter with a female and then a married white couple.

I like the first part up till you took his wife away from the house. Everything was great until then. You have about 4 or 5 parts in this one story. You only wrecked one home and invited others to another. It was just to much in one. I like writers inviting black women to have sex with white men. About time!!!!!!!

You put 10 pounds of erotic sex in a 5 pound sack. This would have made a fine 4 or 5 part story, as it was you rushed it too much and you didn't give the characters time to live, breathe, and develop. Why not rework it and flesh it out so that it is the story it can be?

Deep, well written and explosively sexy! Great characters and atmosphre. Am waiting for more!

hot,hot,hot made me wet.and very horny.that is one of my fanasty.

I really liked the story until it became drawn out with no build up....They were too nice to the ex husband........forgot he was a cheat.....and who really cares what happen to them.

I think what she's feeling are those that are in power make all the decisions then they go somewhere to let someone else make the decisions.

The dialogue's really awkward man. I get this is your want fantasy or whatever, but it's really badly written