All Comments on 'Hansel and Gretel Happy Ever After'

Thanks for trying to recapturing the story. What you shared was enjoyed by at least one reader. You may be right - the original may have been better, we may have known why they returned to the forest together, we may have understood the depth of the sister's longing, the need for the brother to break his soft protection and turn into the animal of lust you so artfully described. But what you gave us was good. At least one reader enjoyed it and is looking for more.

Written by an amateur obviously.

Could have been lots more foreplay which it needed.

If you ever find the original story, please post it!

Loved the hairy chest on Hansel! Please write more -- with more descriptions!

"Yes, please, pumped it all inside me, I begged you, mark me, big brother!"

Either the person doing the proofreading is extremely careless, or maybe English is not your native language, or both. 😒 But mistakes like the one I have quoted here were frequent throughout this entire story. A corrected sentence might look like:

"Yes, please! Pump it all inside of me! I'm begging you to mark me, big brother!"

Since the original fairy tale was kind of dark, I suppose that it's suitable for your story to have a certain darkness to it as well. But I was disappointed with the BDSM styling and Hansel's verbal abuse/disrespect for Gretel. The title implies a happy ending is in store for the reader but that certainly wasn't the case here. 😕

A happy ending would have been them falling deeply in love and starting their own family together. It's clear that Hansel will impregnate Gretel, but not in a healthy, loving way. God help their children because mommy and daddy are going to screw up their lives. 😔 2/5

I really enjoyed it, but what would have made it great (at least in my head) would have been an epilogue where the daughter they conceived grew up to be a witch in that forest.