All Comments on 'Happy Birthday, Kaylie'

I think you posted this in the wrong place. There wasn't any eroticism at all and this site is for erotic literature.

Thank you for the heads up ;) It was posted int he Non-Erotic Section, which is for stories that... aren't erotic. Hope you enjoyed it anyway.

CON: The span of time between each attack was a bit short. For example when Claude was murdered it was barely 10 paragraphs ( which sounds like a lot but is read fairly quickly) later that kyra's body hit the office window. That being said another thing that I thought was a bit unrealistic ( granted, this is a story, not real life) was Kalie's immense amount of paralysis, which was worsened when she decided saving her boyfriend's murderer would be a waste of her time. From the way this story is written it sounds like it should be a book, which makes the ending a bit abrupt.

PRO: There are no spelling mistakes that I came across. The chain of events is clear and easy to follow. A true feeling of despair is conveyed towards the end of the story.

My personal verdict: (A-D) B-