Happy New Year's Patty

But, with all that, he reminded her of the most important fact. He was still here.

He wanted to stay stoic as he relived that night, but he lost that battle. The raw emotions he felt as he held that blade to his wrist came rushing back. His voice broke and cracked throughout the entire ordeal.

For Kendra, every word that came from his mouth was a knife to the heart. Her anger melted away, and she was able to hear him. As he retold his story of that night, a rush of conflicting memories swarmed her, causing her to replace her anger with feelings of guilt.

That night, Patrick was sitting there, all alone and drowning in a sea of depression and loneliness. Meanwhile, she was out having the time of her life with Sean. He'd been invited to a party to watch the ball drop with a group of friends. For the first time since all this started, he was able to openly introduce her as his special lady.

Kendra hung on his arm all night like a doting girlfriend. She smiled. She laughed. She drank. She charmed his friends. And at midnight, she passionately rang in the new year with her new boyfriend.

Then, early in the wee hours of the morning, Kendra and Sean christened 2021 in the most erotic way. They snuck out to the balcony under a guise of grabbing a quick smoke. But neither of them smoked. They just realized that while the party raged on inside, they were out here. Alone.

Kendra would never be considered a prude. She learned early on that she had an effect on men. In her marriage, her sex drive always dwarfed her husband's, even before the depression. She was the one introducing new and fun adventures in the bedroom. She always took the lead, even when Patrick initiated. That was their dynamic.

With Sean, it was completely different. He preferred to be the dominant one, and truthfully, Kendra liked it. She enjoyed submitting to his will. Ever since the first time she met him in that hotel room, she found that there was so much more to explore than she even thought about.

She didn't know that she'd like getting spanked or fucked while her hands were helplessly tied behind her back. She never realized the thrill that would rush through her when Sean's cock was buried deep inside of her cunt while people came dangerously close to discovering them. And when Sean would whisper obscene things to her while he was pounding her, it would drive her closer to an explosive orgasm than any man before him had driven her. Including her husband.

So, while a drunk Patrick was gathering up the courage to end his life, Kendra was bent over a balcony, gripping the hand railing as she braced for the relentless pounding of Sean's vigorous thrusts. Her back was arched, her knees were bent, and she was taking all he had to give.

"Ungh. Uhh. Shit. That's right baby. Fuck me." Kendra said, her whiny moans mingling with a throaty whisper.

This encouraged her lover, who asked, "Who's pussy is this?"

"This is your pussy."

"My pussy?"

"Ungh, yeah. Yeah. Ahh fuck. Your pussy, baby. All yours."

Sean stung her ass with a smack. With his other hand, he grabbed her around her throat as he pumped even harder. Their skin collided with soft slaps.

Something came over him. He couldn't explain it. Here he was, fucking the hottest woman he'd ever had, and a mental image of her husband flashed his mind.

He got jealous. Irrational, yes. But it didn't stop him from feeling like he was living in Patrick's shadow right now.

Cruelly, he asked, "Does he ever fuck you like this?"

That almost snapped Kendra out of the mood. He felt her tense up, and he knew he took it too far. He quickly chastised himself and didn't push that. The last thing he wanted was for her to tell him to stop. His dick was rock hard, and this was so fucking hot that he needed to finish. So, he squelched his jealousy and changed the focus.

"Say you like my cock."

A wave of relief filled Kendra. Sean occasionally did that; belittled Patrick. She didn't understand it. Whatever reason he did it, she didn't like it. So, she was happy for the refocus.

"I LOVE your cock, baby! You have the best cock ever." She said, giving him the ego boost she knew he was looking for.

The two of them fucked outside beneath the stars while a party raged on with a roomful of people who could walk out and catch them at any moment. The deliciousness of that scenario had Kendra on the brink of cumming so hard.

That's when the unexpected happened.

The two of them heard a voice. A woman's voice. She announced that she was going out to smoke. They had no time to recover and preserve their modesty. Sean's pants were around his ankles. Kendra's dress was flipped onto her back, pulled down over her tits, and her panties were twisted around her knees.

Shit. They were caught.

"Oh...my...god!" this voice gasped in surprise when she saw the depraved scene in front of her.

Sean stopped thrusting, and Kendra turned to see one of the ladies that she'd been introduced to only a couple of hours earlier. Sheryl...or Sharon. Whatever. Her name didn't matter. What did matter was the fact that she was standing there, looking at them in this undignified situation.

Suddenly, Sheryl giggled and licked her lips, which then curled into an impish smirk. In a seductive tone, she said, "Please, keep going. Don't stop on my account."

Kendra tried to stand up straight, but was pushed back down. Surprised, she looked back over her shoulders and met Sean's eyes. Nothing was said, but the look he gave her was electric. Then, he started thrusting again.

His message was clear. He was going to fuck her right here, with this woman watching.

Kendra looked back at Sheryl and found that she was staring back at her. She wasn't watching them, she was watching her. She lustfully watched Kendra's face, seeing her reactions to what Sean was doing.

Sheryl's eyes slowly roamed down to Kendra's bouncing tits, to her ass as it rippled with each thrust, and her toned legs that were flexing to keep her upright. They then came back up to meet Kendra's gaze again before she finally said, "God! You are so fucking hot!"

Kendra's pussy flooded.

"Ugh! Ugh! Ugh!" she moaned in unison with Sean's thrusts. He was really going at it now. His movements were becoming bolder as he himself cared less about getting caught. In a fit of lust, he grabbed a fistful of Kendra's mane and yanked her head back.

"Uuuuuughnnnnn!" Kendra cried out at the abrupt move. However, she and this woman never lost the connection through that intense eye contact.

During this entire time, the woman had been inching closer. One of her hands was up her dress and stuffed into her panties. At this moment, she was right up on them, close enough to reach out with her free hand and cup one of Kendra's dangling tits.

She then repeated what she said earlier. She whispered, "You are a fucking goddess. You know that?"

Then, she gently grabbed Kendra's chin, lifted it upwards, and met her lips with one of the most intense kisses she'd ever had.

Electricity shot straight to her pussy. Kendra wasn't attracted to women, but in this moment, kissing her while Sean was fucking her with all he was worth was the most erotic thing to ever happen to her.

Her insides exploded. All she could do was whimper into this woman's mouth.

She never saw Sheryl again after that night, but that memory lingered. She could still taste Sheryl's lips.

Now, almost a year later, the eroticism she always felt when reliving that night was replaced with immense guilt and fear. That night could've very well been the last night Patrick was alive. As great as it was, it was nowhere near worth what it could've cost her and Jessi.

What would she have done if she returned from that party to find out that her daughter's father was dead?

That's the only thing that was running through her mind right now. She could've lost him forever. She never even imagined living a life without him. Even now, in their separated state, he was there. Whenever she started missing his voice, she'd call. If she needed to see his face, she'd make up some paper thin emergency. He'd always come, even when he didn't want to. And lately, he started accepting her invitations for dinner, like he did on Christmas.

But like Jessi, she realized that she was almost robbed of those chances. He could be gone, and she'd never have a chance to make things right. But she couldn't even be angry about that because it was all her fault. He felt like he had to end his life because of her.

"I'm so sorry, Patty." She said as she crumbled into tears. "I'm so, so sorry for everything I've done."

For the first time, she saw. Truly saw. Until this moment, she hadn't really understood what she put her husband through. Sure, she knew it was wrong, but she could always justify it. Patrick was pulling away from her, Patrick was shutting her out, Patrick didn't care enough about their marriage to try and get help. It was all on him. Her affair was just a result of his inaction.

But now, she was forced to look past her own hurts and see Patrick's. She saw him, sitting there prepared to die with no one by his side. How unloved must he have felt to know that he had no one to call; to know that the entire world was moving on without him, as if he never existed? His own wife was out experiencing sexual bliss that she'd never before experienced, and he was sitting in a puddle of his own vomit.

How could she have been so selfish? How could she have such little regard for the man who'd stood by her during her worst moments? Even during his lowest moments, he never made her feel like he would abandon her. She knew that no matter what, he would still be there.

Even in his depressed state, he was a better partner than she deserved. Both of them now knew that while he would never leave her, she would abandon him at his lowest point.

Kendra looked over to the side of the bed that Patrick once slept on and imagined him lying there. Like a mirage, she could see him clearly. There he was, reading some gibberish on his phone. He was never the super intellectual type to read novels or world news. No, Patrick just scrolled through mindless entertainment like Reddit or Tik Tok.

In her vision, Patrick looked up at her with a humored grin, turned his phone towards her, and showed her some stupid video of a cat or a dog doing something silly. She rolled her eyes as she grabbed his phone, and the two of them shared a laugh.

Those were her memories with Patrick. Simple. Sweet. Silly. Over an extended period, like a long marriage, those memories can become mundane; boring even. But there is something intimate about being so familiar with a person that those small moments add up.

When she thought about Sean, it was always something exciting and overtly sexual. The things the two of them did together! Sex on the balcony while another woman watched. Him fingering her beneath the table at a restaurant as they waited for their food. Or the time he pressed her up against the window at their motel room as he fucked her for all the world to see. She got butterflies in her cunt just savoring those memories.

Here's the funny thing. Despite all of the exciting memories she shared with Sean, her favorite was with Patrick. It happened six months ago, when he showed up on her doorstep to take Jessi on a father/daughter date. It was the happiest/saddest memory for her. After seeing Patrick day after day being the most dismal person ever, she saw him finally looking like the man she fell in love with. And yet, it was sad because she couldn't share that with him.

Sean was excitement, and fun, and sex. But Patrick was everything else. Everything she needed.

Here's the kicker. Patrick could fill Sean's shoes easily. There was a time when the two of them had lots of fun together. Sure, he wasn't as adventurous as Sean, but she could teach him. She could coax him into doing wild and crazy things, just as she used to.

Patrick was already changing. She'd noticed it lately. His social media was filled with things that she'd never seen him take an interest in before. Rock climbing. Martial Arts. Hiking. Canoeing. These are things she would've loved exploring with him. Why did it take them separating for him to come out of his shell?

For everything that Sean brought to her life, there was always that missing...something. No matter how much she enjoyed being with him, she could never envision a real future for them. She couldn't understand why. He was sweet. He was sexy. He worshipped the ground on which she stood. But he wasn't...

Patrick.

She wished she realized this before things got out of hand with Sean. She wished she could go back and undo what she did to her family. What if she waited a bit longer for Patrick? What if she tried harder to help him fight his depression? What if? Would the two of them be sharing Patrick's newfound adventures together?

Or perhaps it was the separation, and the attempt on his life, which drove him to make such changes. Maybe he needed to hit rock bottom before he realized that he needed help.

Neither of them would never know. The only thing Kendra did know was that she would not survive losing Patrick. She needed him in her life.

"Oh God!" she said dismally, her voice cracking with the tears that were steadily streaming down her face.

"Ken?" Patrick said, concern lacing his voice. "You okay?"

Her sobs became too violent for her to speak. Her entire body was shaking. All she could manage to say was, "I'm sorry, Patty. I gotta go."

Patrick was saying something, but she couldn't hear it. Her thumb was already ending the call.

"What have I done?" she thought as a loud wail escaped her mouth. It was so filled with pain that it reverberated throughout the entire house.

As if exhausted, Kendra collapsed onto the bed and curled up into a fetal ball. Then...she wept.

A worried Jessi appeared in her doorway. Her mom's wail of distress struck her ears, even through the headphones she was wearing. She knew it had something to do with what her dad almost did. She too had been sitting in her room, unable to think of nothing else.

"Mommy?"

The only answer she received was Kendra's crying. Seeing her mom like that beckoned her to the bed to join her. She laid behind her, and spooned her with her little arms.

"Don't worry mommy." She said comfortingly. "You'll always have me."

That only made Kendra cry harder. However, there was comfort in that.

"I love you, Jessi." She said in a jittery voice. "You're the best parts of me and your father."

Jessi smiled at that. Hearing that meant the world to her.

"I love you too mommy."

***