Happy? Pt. 01

"Fine, just a bad day, you know?"

"Oh, had my share of them, it happens," Jerome said, nodding sympathetically. "You ever need a change of venue, that's what The Daffodils Bloom is all about."

"Thanks, maybe I'll come back again. Tomorrow."

Jerome picked up something from behind him, coming around the counter. As Ashley watched he placed a small plastic 'Reserved' sign on the table she had been sitting at, turning and waggling his eyebrows at her. Ashley laughed at this, uncharacteristically resting a hand on his arm as she left the cafe.

"See you tomorrow, Ashley," Jerome called after her.

She took her time getting home, walking, browsing shops, just killing time. As it was, she still arrived home before Colin did. Ashley didn't feel like cooking so she pulled out two frozen pizzas, the oven warming up as he came in.

"Good day love?" Colin asked as he entered the kitchen. He said it breezily, seeming to have forgotten the tension from that morning. Ashley hadn't though, she pushed the two pizzas into the oven, closing the door.

"Same as always," she replied, "I'm going to shower and change while they are on."

Ashley returned to find the pizzas on the verge of being burnt, Colin having ensconced himself in front of the television, forgetting the food entirely. Grumbling, she pulled the food out, sliding them onto two plates. She ate hers quickly so that by the time her husband realised the food was out, she was chewing on her last piece of crust.

"You should have called me," Colin complained.

"I did," Ashley lied, "When you didn't come, I assumed you were busy. Anyway, I'm done. I'm going to go to bed, feel like an early night."

"Sure love, I'll eat this, join you."

"No rush, take your time," Ashley said as she headed upstairs.

By the time Colin got to the bedroom not long after, it was dark, Ashley fast asleep.

<<0>>

It was a Saturday, normally Ashley didn't go into the gym on the weekends, preferring to spend them with her husband.

She was still pissed though. It wasn't so much what had happened anymore, it was the speed with which he seemed to have forgotten it, forgotten her essentially.

Colin looked up bleakly from his side of the bed as Ashley was throwing fresh gear into her bag.

"Nhhn, woss this?" He asked tiredly "Gym again."

"I just feel like it," Ashley said matter of factly.

Colin blinked at her, his face showing that he wasn't entirely oblivious to her mood.

"I really am sorry love. I do love you, very much."

Ashley felt the slightest bit of ice in her thawing, she knelt on the bed, leaning over to kiss his forehead.

"I know you do. I'll be back later," and with that she left.

The workout this day was less strenuous, Ashley stretching for suppleness for at least fifty minutes of the ninety she spent in the gym. Showered and feeling better about herself she headed across to The Daffodils Bloom.

Jerome was behind the counter and he grinned at her, nodding towards the table with the reserved sign still in place. It was hardly necessary; Saturday's trading had just begun and there were only a handful of customers in.

"What can I get you?" Jerome called out as Ashley was still putting her bag on the chair.

"Same as yesterday please," Ashley took her seat, waiting for Jerome to drop it over. She smiled her thanks, sipping gratefully at the hot coffee, the autumn chill seeming sharper this morning.

She had finished the pastry when Jerome reappeared beside the table.

"No laptop today?"

"No," Ashley said, "Just gym today. Listen, I just wanted to say, you were really sweet yesterday and all. I was in a terrible mood and it helped. Genuinely."

He waved off her thanks, looking embarrassed by it. He kind of hesitated, trapped between two actions, unsure which to choose. Then he sat down opposite her, he was a tall man, over six feet in height with a husky build, the chair creaking as he dropped into it.

"Happy to help. Ummm, for what it's worth, I seen my own share of troubles, better to let it out than keep it in." He indicated the gym from where they sat, "Punishing yourself isn't a solution."

"Like I said, none of my business and I hope you don't take offence to my sticking my nose in", he rose out of the seat.

"Jerome", Ashley's voice stopped him in his tracks. " Thanks for the coffee... and the advice," the last delivered low, not for the other patrons' ears.

"Welcome... and you still need to pay for the coffee," he grinned.

Saturday evening and Sunday saw the continued improvement between Ashley and Colin. She talked more and he continued to deliver apology after apology. What struck her though was that he didn't look to recapture the moment, didn't offer to make dinner or insist on her putting the lingerie back on. It didn't hurt her so much as make her miss the early days of their relationship.

Monday morning saw Ashley's mood improve dramatically and it was only when showering that she realised it was in anticipation of her morning coffee.

She arrived at the cafe, taking what was becoming her regular spot and greeting Jerome with a shy smile. It was weird now that she came to think of it but she'd had virtually no interaction with black men in her life. Ireland had only seen an uptick in migration in the decade proceeding Covid, the generation behind her having more of a mix of cultures than her own.

She had moved to London which was filled with people from every country, race and creed in the world, but that didn't mean she really interacted with them. Her business had brought her into contact with a lot of people outside of Europe but she had found it was mostly wives who came to see her at her office and once she went online only, well she wouldn't dignify a Teams call or Skype as properly engaging with someone. Colin and her social circle was also vanilla in its coloring, not a choice mind you, neither of them having any such negative views on people, it had just happened that way.

Ashley had to admit, she had a certain... curiosity... fascination maybe? To a country girl from Ireland, a black man could seem almost 'exotic' at least from her generation's perspective and without a doubt from her parent's generation. It was hard to define it, suffice to say, she was enjoying the chance to chat with Jerome, her life was decidedly lacking in new experiences or new people.

After most of the morning customers had gone, she invited Jerome to join her for a while, closing her laptop so they could have a real conversation. They spoke about the usual things at first, taxes, weather and television, Ashley finding with a laugh, they only shared similar views on the first two.

As the lunch time crowd arrived, Jerome excused himself to serve them, Ashley returning to her work. Later, quiet again they spoke of their jobs, Jerome interested in hers and promising to send patrons her way should someone present themselves. Ashley discovered Jerome had two other enterprises aside from the cafe, a laundrette and a corner shop. He had started all three with his wife but as she entered the conversation, he conspicuously veered it away to another subject.

As she left that afternoon, Ashley realised she hadn't just chatted like that with a man in a long time, her husband included. She also realised that he was attractive. That wasn't something she normally thought about, excluding movie actors. She noticed other customers, women, flirting and smiling at him, feeling good when each time he would return to her table. Noting his attractiveness was one thing, noting that she herself found him to be attractive, that was quite another.

Tuesday went along the same lines, the conversation moving forward, Ashley speaking of her life in Ireland, the changes that moving to London had made, the difference between a small town in the west of Ireland where everyone was white, Catholic and either a relative or a family friend and London, a melting pot for a hundred cultures.

Jerome talked about moving from Jamaica as a teenager, Ashley quickly calculating his age at thirty nine from the dates he dropped. When she asked if he missed Jamaica he replied "about half the year" in reference to London's colder seasons.

When Ashley steered the conversation to partners, not quite coming out and speaking directly of her problems with Colin, Jerome once more deflected. All he would say was that his wife was from Trinidad and that they had married young.

On the Wednesday; feeling brave, Ashley called him on it, questioning his lack of transparency.

Jerome's eyes flitted to the only other person in the cafe, an elderly man half asleep in front of a single serving pot of tea. Still, when he did speak, it was pitched for her ears alone.

"My wife was in an accident some years ago. She lost a great part of her mobility, her ability to do things. She became a different person after that, not that I could blame her."

Ashley went pale at his words, the bottom of her stomach sinking like she'd swallowed a rock.

"Oh Jesus but I am sorry, I shouldn't have pushed. Christ but I feel like a shit now," She said in apology.

Jerome, moisture clear in his eye swallowed in emotion.

"Not your fault, I was the one making a mystery of it. It's not a secret or anything I just don't like to talk about it."

"Totally. I'm so embarrassed. I'm just going to put my stuff away, leave you in peace." Ashley made to pick up her laptop but Jerome's large hand came to rest on her own, stilling her movement.

"Actually. If you are open to listening..." Jerome's eyes were shining now, unshed tears in his dark brown orbs. She nodded, acutely aware of the warmth of his hand resting on her own.

For the next hour until the lunchtime rush arrived, they talked. Jerome talked mostly at the beginning, Ashley merely listening. He clearly loved his wife despite the changes to her situation, their situation. However, the pressure of three businesses, all impacted by Covid and its accompanying restrictions, the worry, stress and work of being a caregiver when he wasn't at work. It took a toll. Jerome then spoke of another regret, the absence of intimacy between him and her, his wife's physical condition making it impossible, her mental state making it unthinkable to her. Ashley spoke of the deterioration of her own marriage, physically at least, love making becoming infrequent and staid.

It was one of the most honest hours of her life and when Jerome finally rose to deal with an influx of customers, Ashley felt quite emotional and also quite aware of the absence of his hand on hers, Jerome only lifting it free as he left their table.

She chewed on her bottom lip, a habit from childhood that only presented itself when her mind was in turmoil, staring with unseeing eyes at her laptop screen, remaining that way until Jerome rejoined her over an hour later.

"Sorry," he began, "that was a bit heavy, especially to someone I barely know. You're just easy to talk to." Jerome paused, noting Ashley's distracted look. "Shit, I really freaked you out, didn't I? Not my intention, want me to go?"

"No. Stay," she said, now her hand alighting on his. "I-I was just thinking. About our problems. How we might help each other."

"Help?"

"With the lack of... Jesus, I can't say it. Fuck, I mean not fuck... but yes, you know. Shit, sex Jerome, help with... sex. That is, if... if you find me, I mean I find you but maybe you don't... shit..." Ashley's face flooded with colour, moving from pale white, to soft pink and onto burning crimson by the time she had worked her way through the most awkward sentence she had ever had to utter.

Jerome's own face shifted from confusion to comprehension and then settled on one that Ashley couldn't quite read.

"You...you want to... to cheat on your husband, have me cheat on my wife... together?" Jerome whispered, voice strained.

"Oh God," Ashley said, hearing her idea back, in his voice. She rose, grabbing her stuff, not even packing it away, just bolting out the door and down the street. Ashley ran until she rounded a corner, stopping to put her stuff in her bag, to wipe tears of shame from her eyes. That was when Jerome caught up to her.

"Ashley, wait, wait" he called as he glimpsed her, already on the move once more.

Panting from the run he drew up beside her, raising a hand to slow her and to silently ask for a moment to catch his breath.

"You...hfff, you caught me by surprise is all. If you are serious, then I can't tell you what that would mean to me. But they can never know. I have to be honest; it can't become a thing. I love my wife but truly, honestly... I need something, a release... just something."

"Absolutely, it's the same for me. Colin, I... he loves me. No, it couldn't become more than this, a release like you said." Ashley said, tears still falling, still too emotional to say more.

"How will we do this?" Jerome asked.

Chapter Two

It was Ashley who made the plans.

Her husband had often accused her of overthinking things and to be fair he had a point. Still, she threw herself into the challenge, a welcome change from her of so predictable life.

First, they settled on a date, both agreeing that Friday, two days from then, was best. Ashley had proposed it, fearing that any delay might make her come to her senses.

Second, location. Discretion was key for them both, neither wanting to cause any hurt to their partners and so they had to remain ignorant of the tryst between Ashley and Jerome.

She asked Jerome to book a room at a Comfort Inn Hotel near the airport. Ashley knew nobody in the area and since its location was popular with tourists, they would be just two more unmemorable faces in a sea of strangers. Jerome needed to book it as Ashley couldn't risk a charge being spotted on her cards by her husband, Jerome not having that issue with his wife.

Third, getting there. Ashley would collect Jerome after he finished work, meeting him at the same spot where he had found her when she had fled his café.

And lastly the excuse. Jerome said he would have no problem getting away, a family member would help out with his wife. Ashley kept it simple. She told Colin that she was going out with some women from the gym. This had happened before, so it left him with no call to be suspicious.

On the Friday, Ashley took the Range Rover, telling Colin she would park it overnight at one of the other women's homes, that she would stay over not wanting to travel home alone at night.

Happy that his wife would be safer in the company of another woman, Colin had no problem with this part of the plan either. In fact, since she had told him of her night out, he'd been looking forward to watching cricket coverage from Australia on his TV, a few beers also on the agenda.

She collected Jerome after he had finished work, parking round the corner as agreed. He arrived bang on time, something Colin seemed incapable of and climbed into the passenger side of the big SUV.

The first thing out of his mouth was a compliment, admiring how Ashley looked. Spur of the moment, she had decided to wear the lingerie that she had bought for Colin the week before, a blue pencil skirt, white blouse and warm overcoat completing her look.

The second thing he said was to apologise for not having had time to clean up after work, promising to shower as soon as they reached the room.

That's when it hit Ashley. The planning, the lying... it had all been almost like an adventure. Now reality was sinking in, he was going to be showering naked in the hotel room. A hotel room she would be in. She was about to betray her marriage vows with a man she barely knew. A black man who had a wife of his own, a sickly wife, dependant on her husband. And it had all been her idea.

She drove in silence, easy to do as Jerome's deep voice filled the car's interior as he chatted away happily. It wasn't just his voice that filled the car, it was his scent. She hadn't noticed at the cafe, all the coffee and cakes masking it. He had an extremely manly scent, not pungent or off-putting, just something that made her even more conscious of his masculinity, his size. Her hands trembled and she had to grip tighter on to the steering wheel. Soon, too soon, they were pulling into the hotel carpark.

"Jerome, I'm not sure I can go through with this," Ashley confessed as soon as she had pulled into an empty space. "It's just, I don't know how to say it. It's just all so real all of a sudden." She couldn't look at him, feeling awful at that moment. "I'm so sorry to have wasted your time."

"It's okay," he answered gently. "Have to admit I was having doubts as well. And you haven't wasted my time, trust me, even if this is it, still been the high point of my day."

Ashley let out a choking sob of laughter at his statement, he was just so understanding.

"How about this?", Jerome patted her hand comfortingly, "Let's get a drink at the hotel bar, or the pub round the corner. Afterwards, you have the room and I will head home. We still get a nice evening out."

"I-I can't, what if someone sees us? Colin, my husband, he thinks I am out with friends. Women. How would I explain drinks in a hotel bar?"

"True. Okay, then you go up to the room. I will get us a bottle from the off licence. Follow you up. We can have a drink in the room and then I head off. That's probably better, more discrete, yeah?"

"Yeah, okay. Let's do that," Ashley agreed, happy to be able to meet him at least halfway. He handed her a key card and she got out of the SUV, heading inside. Jerome had checked into the room on his lunch break, so Ashley went straight up to room 303.

She shrugged off her coat, turned on the TV and checked the glasses in the room were clean. By then, Jerome had returned carrying a bottle of vodka and some diet Coke as a mixture.

"Sorry, not much choice there outside of beer," he explained putting them down.

Ashley went to fix the drinks and Jerome cleared his throat meaningfully.

"Do you mind if I still take a shower, been on my feet all day and I feel rank," he said. Ashley winced, thinking about being so close to another man, a man about to get naked but she just nodded, unscrewing the cap of the vodka bottle with fingers that trembled once again.

Jerome reappeared a quarter of an hour later, his hair still damp and a hotel robe pulled around him. Somehow to Ashley's eyes he seemed bigger now, the shoulders broader, the powerful chest more pronounced. It might have been down to the two double vodkas she had already polished off as she waited. He took the drink, clinking it against her third glass and they both drank.

"Christ that's strong," Jerome said after he tried his drink.

Ashley grinned. "You're drinking with the Irish now," She said, tipping her own glass back and swallowing half its contents.

In truth, despite the fabled fondness of the Irish for alcohol, Ashley was a bit of a lightweight when it came to drinking and these three glasses were more than she would normally consume over the space of several hours, it was nerves and embarrassment that had her drink that much in just twenty minutes.

"I'm going to put on some music," she said, "Can't be a night out without music."

She switched the TV over to a music channel and fixed them both fresh drinks. Clinking the glasses once again.

"Colin never even hesitated about me going out. He actually looked happy to have me gone," she said morosely.

"I'm sure that wasn't it, he'd be a fool otherwise," Jerome replied.

"You are so sweet. So nice. Why did you have to be so nice?" Ashley took another long gulp on her drink.

"Umm sorry?" Jerome said.

"Shit. Now I want to kiss you," Ashley declared, standing up from the edge of the bed where she had been sitting. Jerome set his glass aside on the small table to the left of the hotel rooms chair. He pulled on the robe, nervously to Ashley's imagination.