Happy? Pt. 01

Authors note: This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, events and incidents are the products of the author's imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

Happy?

Prelude:

London can seem a cold city. Not just literally, although the sight of some of its denizens hurrying to and fro, coats and scarves wrapped around them against the wind, was becoming a more frequent occurrence now that autumn's touch had settled on the capital. No, it could also seem cold through indifference, its populous embracing a mood of anonymity to one another, this sense of coldness especially noticeable to someone born and reared in a small town in Ireland.

Ashley Burke, her married name being Chatsworth but she had clung onto Burke for her job and almost all other things, passport, driving licence, bills and gym membership, had been born in Ireland twenty nine years previously but for seven years now she had called London, England her home.

Right now, she stood at the kitchen sink of the home she shared with her husband Colin, cleaning the last of the plates from dinner. Ashley had met her husband a week after arriving from Ireland. She had graduated from university after completing a course as a translator, French, Spanish and Portuguese being the three languages she had focused on. Ashley had hoped to secure herself a job working within the political realm, a translator for a politician operating within the European Union.

Brexit put an end to that dream, she found there were no opportunities, the UK's imminent departure from the coalition of European states meaning that the requirement for her skills was a thing of the past. Instead, she had looked at businesses, legal firms, anyone still maintaining ties to Europe and who might avail of her skills.

Colin was a solicitor at one of the law firms she interviewed at for a position. Ashley hadn't gotten the job, but she had found herself with a date that night. Within six months they were engaged, a year almost to the day after they had met, Colin and Ashley were married.

Her career however hadn't moved with the same alacrity as her personal life. Rejection followed rejection. If it hadn't been for Colin encouraging her to stick with it, Ashley would have packed it all in and sough a return home to Ireland. Finally, her husband to be had suggested starting her own business. An upsurge in migration had hit the United Kingdom and many of those travelling there were not native English speakers. Moreover, the paper snowstorm that faced people seeking asylum, seeking government benefits or just navigating life in this new land was overwhelming to many. With Colin helping her at first, a new business was born, offering migrants both translation services and help with legal forms, state forms, business applications and so on.

Ashley even rented herself a small office. Clients coming in to meet with her, happy faces as she helped. Life was good, things were good. Then came Covid.

She could still work but now it was from home, everything done via Teams and Skype. Many prospective clients hadn't access to computers, so her workload halved leaving her with a lot of time on her hands. Having to spend so much time at home with Colin didn't help. He seemed unperturbed by it all, content to motor through the madness that had gripped the entire world while she felt simply trapped and that the best years of her life might be slipping by, confined within the walls of their own home. That was the point, in hindsight, where Ashley began to wonder if their marriage was as strong as they had thought.

"Happy?" Colin would lean over and kiss Ashley on the cheek, asking the same question. It had become almost a nightly ritual. She would smile and answer, "of course," before finishing up whatever she was doing. Then there would follow an hour of television before they both retired for the night, normally before 11pm.

Where once there were kisses for no other reason than 'just because', where sex had been twice or three times a week... now the kisses were almost like what you would place on an elderly Aunt's cheek, sex became almost a scheduled affair, once a month at best.

Once restrictions had been lifted, Ashley had hoped things might get better, get back to where they had been. Her business picked up a little but not enough that renting an office made any sense. Rental prices had increased during the time she had been working from home and Colin hadn't felt it was wise to spend money given the unreliability of her business income. This had hurt her, making her think he viewed her career as a hobby rather than a viable employment opportunity. She wouldn't say it to him however, preferring to roll with the disappointment rather than create any animosity.

So, she was still stuck at home after the nightmare that was Covid had passed. Colin was back to the office, the daily commute, complaining each evening about traffic and the smells of fellow commuters as they crowded cheek to cheek in overflowing tube carriages. Still, he left each morning whistling cheerfully, while Ashley was left in the silence of their home.

It was the gym that saved her. During Covid she had taken to exercising in their postage stamp sized back garden and she had discovered a joy in her body. Back in Ireland she had played camogie till her late teens and Ashley found herself rediscovering the fitness levels she had enjoyed as a teen. Not just rediscovering them, surpassing them.

That however was the only bright light in her life. As 'normality' resumed and she returned on a visit to family and friends back home, Ashley was dismayed to find how much her friends had changed and how little she had.

Her friends were all like her, married. However, unlike her, they had all gone on to start families as well. Some were content to stay at home raising their kids, others worked hand in hand with their husbands, sharing responsibilities as they both continued working. Whatever the path, one and all seemed in a far better place than Ashley Burke did.

When she was twenty-two and about to be married, Colin had told her he didn't ever want children. He was twenty-eight and moving steadily up the ranks in his legal firm. As far as Colin was concerned, no children meant more time, attention and money for them to enjoy as a couple. Things hadn't worked out like that though.

Oh, the money was good, great in fact. Their home was lovely, they had an expensive car, a Range Rover, and luxuries like cultural weekends away to Venice, Istanbul and the like were a fairly regular occurrence.

The time and attention parts weren't as advertised though, Colin falling into a casual attitude as far as their relationship went. To be fair, Ashley did much the same. All they seemed to have were these kisses in the morning and at night before bed, the occasional bunch of flowers and that was pretty much that.

Post Covid and the intimacy had fallen through the floor. They still had sex but it now it seemed seasonal and almost sterile as regards passion. The fault lying on both sides. Ashley however seemed the only one worried by it.

Returning from Ireland, Ashley had mentioned, as casually as possible, the changes in her friends' lives. Colin's response was as expected, commiserating her friends' foolish choices, remarking on how much better he and she were without such drama in their lives.

Ashley hadn't argued the point, open communication between them also something that seemed to have fallen off through time. She didn't even have anyone in London to open up to. Meeting Colin so early after moving there, her friends were in fact his friends originally. Working for herself meant no coworkers to bond with. She did have people she chatted with at the gym but Ashley viewed them more as acquaintances rather than close friends. Even with the restriction of Covid lifted, at times she still felt isolated in a bubble of her own design.

And so it was the gym that she turned to again. With time on her hands, Ashley would set out each morning to a small gym she had discovered a few miles from her home. There were closer gyms, but she enjoyed the atmosphere there and the fact that she had to travel was actually a bonus, filling in part of a day that might otherwise have been empty.

After each session, she rewarded herself by crossing the road to a lovely cafe called The Daffodils Bloom. It served a nice selection of pastries and offered a generous menu of coffees and teas. As there were no schools or creches nearby, Ashley was able to enjoy her treat without the hubbub of mothers wheeling prams, screaming babies or snot nosed children dashing from one table to the next. It was calm and she liked calm. There were a number of different staff in the cafe but all of them were of Caribbean extract.

The area both the gym and cafe were located in was a borough of London with a large percentage of inhabitants from places like Jamaica, Barbados and the West Indies.

Her personal life was at a low ebb but Ashley wasn't about to give up. She was conscious of how precious time could be, Covid had taught her that much at least. She wasn't prepared to accept her life as it was. Besides, the anniversary of their first date was just two days away.

Chapter One:

"Chinese take out on a Thursday love? That's not like you." Colin leaned over taking an exploratory sniff at one of the boxes of food that Ashley had deposited on the table. She had kept it warm in the oven for when her husband returned from work.

"Lamb ribs in sweet Peking sauce?" Ashley nodded at Colin's guess, smiling as his face lit up. She had ordered his favourite meal from his favourite take away, just for that night.

"Get stuck in before it gets cold... wait, wash your hands first, you've been on the tube, never know what you can pick up there," Ashley said to him, following her own advice and opening her carton, beef Chow Mein.

Colin lost no time taking off his suit jacket and washing his hands in the sink. Then he happily set to demolishing his dinner.

"Great surprise love," he muttered, mouth half full. "Been craving Chinese, how did you know?"

"I didn't, I just wanted to do something nice for you."

"Best wife... ever," Colin pronounced, rising from his seat to deliver a kiss on her cheek before diving back into his portion.

Things were going well Ashley thought to herself, clearing the food away quickly once they were both finished.

"Why don't you pour us some wine? I'm just popping upstairs for a minute," Ashley suggested.

"Can do, will do," Colin answered, heading over to the wine rack in the corner of the kitchen, selecting a nice Chianti for them.

Ashley hurried up to the bedroom. She stripped down quickly and paused to admire herself in the full-length mirror. Her brown hair fell a few inches past her shoulders, a rich chestnut in colour. Her eyes were hazel in colour, flecks of green appearing when in sunlight.

Ashley felt she could take a lot of pride in her appearance, earning it through her work exercising. At five feet six she was above average height and her weight had dropped from one hundred and thirty pounds to a trim and toned one hundred and twenty. She even felt her breasts had improved, full chested with 36E cup, they felt firmer if that were possible. She had even shaved that day, completely removing the small triangle of brown pubes so that her mound was now smooth to the touch.

"Not bloody bad," she grinned at herself, giddy now with excitement. Then she quickly pulled on the lingerie she had bought the day before after her trip to the gym. A white lace plunge bra, matching thong, suspender belt and stockings. Ashley felt sexy just wearing them. Thrilled with her look she scampered down the stairs to her husband.

"Oh my god, you look amazing!" Colin said, his jaw literally dropping at the sight of her. He lent in for a kiss, briefer than she'd hoped although Ashley was encouraged by his continued stare. He was a good-looking man; she had done well meeting him Ashley considered as she gave him a full turn so that he could see the entire outfit.

Six feet tall, at thirty-five he had all his hair, perfect teeth. His stomach was getting a bit loose now but office life and too many takeaways made that almost inevitable without working out. Colin played cricket on a Sunday with friends he had kept since college, and he considered his weekly game all the exercise he needed in conjunction with his commute to and from work. No, Ashley had to admit Colin Chatsworth was still attractive to her after seven years together.

"Let's take our drinks upstairs, get an early night," Ashley said dropping her most wicked grin on him.

"Love it, let's go for it. Just five minutes though, I must throw my eye over this paperwork first. Then I am right up behind you."

"Do it in the morning, on your way to work," Ashley protested.

"I can't, you know it's impossible on the tube and I can hardly read them as I walk. Five minutes, I promise. Ten at the maximum," Colin promised her.

"Fine. Ten minutes," Ashley said heading upstairs.

Twenty minutes later, she was lying on the bed, still waiting.

"Colin, are you coming?" Ashley just yelled for him, she wasn't walking down to fetch him like he was a child.

"Two minutes, Anthony just rang about the brief on the Phillips case. It's important, you know that dear. Quick call and then I am up."

Ashley lay on the bed, listening as the quick phone call became anything but. She strained her ears, hoping to hear him tell his co-worker that he had to go. Instead, she heard the fridge door opening, the sound of a bottle of beer being opened. As Colin was laughing now, 'I know, I know, what can you do?' she heard him say. Ashley switched off the light in the room, pulling the duvet around her, up to her neck. She didn't hear Colin come to bed, she had fallen asleep thirty minutes before.

The next morning her husband had been all apologies and promises. That might have worked except that at the end he had decided to add, 'it wasn't the smartest idea love, on a weekday. Let's try again on Friday... better yet Saturday instead. Okay?'

Ashley had agreed. Colin at least got one thing right, he realised she was pissed with him still. He folded her stiff body in a hug, kissing her forehead.

"I really do love you; you know?"

"I know," Ashley replied.

"Happy?" Colin trotted out the question, a thermometer to check the temperature of their relationship.

"Of course," Ashley replied as she always did, but she still used as few words as she could when she spoke to him over breakfast, as she straightened his tie and when she sent him off to work, her husband disappearing around the corner of the street, whistling the same old tune he always did.

She didn't cry as she went upstairs to change in her gym clothes though she felt like it. She didn't quite slam her work laptop into her bag, deciding to work from somewhere else other than the house that day, but she felt like doing that too.

That morning Ashley hit the gym hard. Weights, rowing machine, weights again, finishing off with a five-mile run on the treadmill. Ashley had her i-buds in her ears, music fast and loud as she stared without seeing into the street below her, the cafe that lay directly opposite almost empty now that the morning rush seeking caffeine boosts to face the day had come and gone.

She showered, tied her still damp hair back and headed across the street for a coffee and an éclair because fuck it, she deserved it.

The cafe was all but empty, the only other customer inside was stood at the counter getting a Grande Latte to go. Ashley placed her gym bag beneath a small table against the wall, her laptop bag going on one of the two chairs around it. It wasn't private but it was the least overlooked position in the cafe and she planned to do a little work there before finding somewhere else to move on to.

Ashley went to the counter, barely registering the man serving her, she had eyes only for the pastries displayed in the glass counter.

"That one," she said, indicating a particularly decadent bun and a large Americano as well please." She tapped her bank card against the machine, returning to the table as the man cheerfully offered to drop them over to her.

A minute later, her laptop now opened in front of her, the clink of ceramics heralded the arrival of her order.

Ashley looked down to see that instead of a cream stuffed pastry there was instead a light airy looking one, topped with fresh fruit and sprinkled lightly with icing sugar.

"Sorry, that's not what I ordered," Ashley said, looking up at the large man who had delivered it to her table.

"Better for you. Easier on your stomach after what you were up to," he replied in a voice that betrayed his origins as Jamaica. His accent was one of those peculiar ones that could be heard all around London, a bastardised mix of London mixed with wherever a person had been born. Ashley herself had developed a similar style of talking, her Irish accent slipping as she mimicked unconsciously the accents of those she dwelt with. Now it was only on certain words that her natural accent was in ascendancy.

"What I was up to?" Ashley hadn't been up to anything but that strange irrational guilt, as when a person came into contact with a priest, or a policeman took hold of her.

The black man grinned and with a wave of his hand indicated the large window of the gym across the road. The treadmill that Ashley had been running on clearly visible, a hopelessly overweight middle-aged woman now atop it, striding purposely with her arms sweeping back and forth.

"Try it, on the house," he added, giving her another smile for good measure before retreating back behind the counter.

Ashley teetered between annoyance and being charmed by his going out of his way, a small display of kindness. She took a bite of the pastry. It was delicious. The natural sweetness of the fruit met her craving exactly, the pastry flaked and crumbled in her mouth, delicate and light. It was the perfect choice.

She finished it, licking her fingers while throwing a guilty glance at the still smiling man.

"Good?"

"So good," she answered returning his smile.

Ashley finished her coffee, typing away at her laptop. She finished off the two documents she needed to, considering then where to go next. The cafe had two other customers by this time but it could hardly be called bustling. She rose, returning to the counter, her empty mug and plate in hand.

"Think maybe i could get a coffee and maybe the Wi-Fi password?" Ashley asked the man.

"Don't remember you staying for more than one before," he commented, taking the items from her hands.

"I just don't feel like going home today, thought I might do a little work here instead" she replied.

"That a fact?" He tapped a finger on a sign beside the register that read 'This is a cafe not an office space', Ashley coloring as she read it. The man's smile however never wavered.

"Just teasing, I just use that on people who try to sit all day with a single coffee, you're a regular, no problem." He made her a second coffee and then scribbled out the password on a piece of paper.

Ashley reached out for the paper but he flicked it out of range, "Jerome," he said.

"Ashley, and thank you. Jerome."

"Pleasure."

She ended up working in the cafe for four more hours, taking lunch there as well. Finally, she packed everything away. Noticing Jerome was idle, she walked back to the counter.

"Listen, thanks for letting me hang out here today, it-it was a help, really."

"Sure, not a big deal. You, okay?" He looked puzzled at Ashley approaching him, making a point of thanking him.