Hard Landing Ch. 05

When we got to the venue, Sara and I did our usual helping the band get set up on stage, and then set up the merch table.

When I came backstage, Larry held up a pair of drumsticks like a cross at me.

"Fie, foul trouble maker! Maketh me not sing once again!" he intoned.

"Fear not, faithful Lawrence. I'm just here to see-eth if you guys need anything," I snarked back.

"Request time," Jo said, coming out of the bathroom.

Steve picked up his Ovation acoustic and put the strap over his shoulder.

"No Les Paul?" I asked him.

"It's up on stage. Jo and I looked around and think the crowd's a little less classic rock tonight. We're going to start with a few numbers with me on this."

Suzanne lifted her Fender strap over her shoulder. "Jo, tonight I am a total bitch."

Jo grinned. "You got it Alvarez."

The band started making their way up to the stage and I stopped Jo and kissed her. "Rock their socks off tonight babe."

She grinned at me but I thought I saw a shadow in her eyes. "Thanks Blue," she said, then mounted the stage.

The band opened with Meredith Brooks' Bitch, Suzanne belting out the lyrics.

I'm a bitch, I'm a lover, I'm a child, I'm a mother,

I'm a sinner, I'm a saint, I do not feel ashamed!

I'm your hell, I'm your dream, I'm nothing in between!

You know you wouldn't want it any other w-a-a-a-y!

They followed that with Deep Blue Sea's Breakfast At Tiffany's. Then Steve started picking out the opening notes on his acoustic to the Stabilizers' One Simple Thing.

One simple thing kept between you and me,

Will build a wall no one else can see.

One simple thing is all we really need,

To make it all complete.

I noticed Jo was looking out over the audience a lot. Usually she focused on her guitar or the band members. But tonight, as she was mouthing the lyrics, as she usually did while playing, she kept looking out towards me at the merch table. I wanted to take it as a positive sign, except every time I caught her eye she immediately looked away.

Near the end of the second set, I saw Jo call out a song. She kicked two of her pedals and started the intro to Matthew Sweet's Sick Of Myself.

When they got to the chorus, it looked like she was almost shouting the lyrics to herself as she played.

But I'm sick of myself when I look at you, something as beautiful and true.

In a world that's ugly and a lie, it's hard to even want to try.

I'm beginning to think, maybe you don't know.

Jo was playing the solos almost... savagely. Like she was in a fight.

I'll take a leave, the room to breathe, the choice to leave it.

I'll throw away a chance at greatness just to make this,

Dream come into play, I don't know if I'll find a way.

'Cause I'm sick of myself when I look at you!

Something as beautiful and true...

"Oh boy," I thought. "What's going on in her head tonight?"

"Great set tonight!" Sara yelled in my ear and kept shaking her butt.

"Yeah... great set."

"So, what was up with you on stage tonight?" I asked later. We were walking on the beach under the moon. It would be full in a few more nights. I'd suggested the walk since we were heading inland tomorrow morning and this would be our last chance for an evening stroll on the sand.

"What do you mean? Didn't I rock your socks off?"

"It was a good show. You just looked like you were in your head with some of the lyrics up there."

She looked uncomfortable. Her hand shifted in my grip. "I don't know what to tell you Blue. Some lyrics just make you seem all angst-y when you play them, but they're just songs."

"Jo?" I stopped walking and she stopped with me.

"Yeah?"

"Are you full of it right now?"

She sighed. "Look Blue, this is just me. Sometimes I get moody. Not for any reason. Let's just enjoy our walk without trying to psychoanalyze my song choices, okay? I want to try and enjoy our last three nights together."

"Right. Our last three nights." I pulled on her hand to bring her closer to me. She reached up and ran her fingers through my hair, then stood on her toes to brush my cheek with the tip of her nose.

"I'm glad you made the first move on me Blue. This has been an amazing trip. When you said you wanted us to have memories to take away, I wasn't thinking they'd be this great. I hope you don't regret them."

"I take what I can get, Chief Collins."

Whatever I could get.

Back in our room, we peeled out of our clothes and fell into bed together. Jo reached out for me, but I pushed her back and just spent a few moments looking up and down her body, tracing lines on her with my finger. I leaned down and kissed her, making small strokes at her lips with the tip of my tongue.

I moved down to kiss her neck, her collarbone, her breasts. I slid my body on top of hers and in between her legs as she opened them. I discovered that Jo loved having her belly button licked. As I worked my way down and started kissing and nipping at the soft skin on her thighs, she gathered my hair into a topknot with her hands and then held it there with one fist, while stroking my cheek with her other hand.

"This hair," she breathed, "I don't know if I'll ever get enough of this hair."

"Are you saying if I hadn't dyed my hair blue, I wouldn't have stood a chance?" I teased.

"No, but it's definitely the cherry on top of a yummy sundae."

"You say the sweetest things," I said and then stroked her clit with my tongue as she sucked in a breath. After a few minutes, I returned to what I knew worked best for her and slid two fingers inside to stroke her g-spot with my fingertips.

"Jo, you're so wet," I whispered. She just made happy sounds back at me. As she neared her climax, I lowered my head again and added my tongue back into the equation. A few moments later, she almost crushed my fingers clamping down on them as she held my head in place by her fist curled in my hair.

As she came down from her climax, I moved up next to her. She pushed me over onto my back then turned around and swung a leg over my head and lowered her head between my thighs.

"Oh my god," I breathed as she showered my pussy with attention. I tried to reciprocate but our height difference made it impossible for me to reach her with my mouth, so I contented myself with stroking her clit with my thumb while sliding a finger in and out of her.

Within minutes, Jo had me close. I squeezed her head with my thighs as I cried out and ran my fingernails over her back.

She turned around and crawled into my arms and we kissed. I wondered if she could taste herself as strongly on my lips as I tasted myself on hers.

"I didn't make you come that time," I complained.

"Believe me, that first one was plenty good." She reached down and idly stroked me. "I think I really like having you shaved like this. You're so smooth and soft. Are you sure you don't want me to do that?"

"I told you, only if it's something you want to do for yourself, not for me."

She slid a finger between my lips. "Well, you've got me considering it. But you'll have to do it for me."

"Not right this second though," I gasped. I turned slightly so I could reach her as well. I leaned my forehead against hers as we stroked each other.

"Does inside or outside work best for you?" she asked.

"I like outside," I panted.

"I like... inside..." As I slipped my fingers inside her again she moaned.

"I know," I said and increased my pace. It was as if we were racing to see who could get the other to cross the finish line first.

I won, as Jo came again, squeezing my hand with her legs. I leaned in to kiss her and as her tongue touched mine, I started shaking and moaning into her mouth.

"I don't know if I could ever get too much of that either," she said as we wound down. I pulled her into my arms and snuggled my cheek down onto the top of her hair.

"I hear you."

Whatever I can get Chief Collins.

JO

The band had packed up, checked out of the Air-BnB and were on the ferry from the Outer Banks to the mainland. When Jo had confirmed she was available for the tour, Steve had added one final show, at a bar near Fort Bragg so some of Jo's unit could come see their squadmate's band play. It would only be a detour a few hours out of the way and the one extra night.

On the ferry Jo and Blue had once again gone to the front rail of the upper deck, joined by Suzanne this time.

"It's almost like we've come full circle, eh Blue?"

"Yeah..." Blue didn't sound that enthused. Jo pretended not to notice, leaning on the rail with her face up to the sun, sunglasses perched on top of her head.

"So how many guys from your unit will be there tonight?" Suzanne asked Jo.

"I dunno. I posted flyers in the briefing room and hangers. I'm guessing a couple dozen or so. It's not really an Army bar; it just happens to be close to the base, so there will be civys there. I hope my copilot comes, I'd like you guys to meet him."

"I wonder if we should have Steve book us some rooms instead of driving straight to Front Royal after the show. Don't you want to hang out and party with your friends afterward?" Suzanne asked.

Jo shook her head. "No, I'm going to be with those guys for the next year. I want to get home and spend time with dad before I have to come back down here next week."

Blue looked away. "I'm going to find the ladies' room. I'll meet you on the bus, looks like we'll pull into port soon," she said, pointing at the nearing shoreline. She left Jo and Suzanne alone at the railing.

"Jo—" Suzanne started.

"Don't," interrupted Jo. "Just don't, Alvarez. The next two days are going to be tough enough."

"Okay. You know I'm here for whatever you need."

"I need one more night of rocking out. That's all I need, okay?"

"You got it." Suzanne held out her fist and Jo bumped it.

Jo's second big fuck up happened that night.

The bar in Fayetteville was crowded that night. Several dozen members of Jo's unit had made it and Jo had spent time at the bar before the show with all of them, introducing them to the rest of the band as well as Sara and Blue.

Jo's copilot, Chief Eric Nguyen showed up too, earning himself a high five from his PIC. He was a compact man, not much taller that Jo, with a wicked sense of humor. Blue liked him immediately, and Jo found them deep in conversation at the bar together, smiling and laughing.

The band started off playfully, Steve and Suzanne trading the vocals back and forth on a cover of the B-52's Love Shack.

JILL

I was sad this was the last show of the tour, but it was a rocking one. The crowd was bouncing along with the band. When The Rotors ended with a cover of GnR's Sweet Child Of Mine, the whole crowd was whooping by the end. We did pretty good business at the merch table too.

Sara and I were starting to close up the cash box and pack the leftover shirts away when I heard, "Holy crap, Jill is that you?"

I turned around. Oh no. "Corey? What are you doing here?"

"I'm down visiting my brother. I can't believe I ran into you! I almost didn't recognize you with the blue hair."

Corey Watkins and I had dated for a couple of months two years ago, until I'd tried on a cosplay of The Scarlet Witch I'd been working on. The old school comic version, not the Age of Ultron movie version. He'd said I looked ridiculous. We'd broken up a week later.

"Yeah well, I change it all the time, you know that."

Just then Jo walked up from behind me and said, "Hey Blue, want to grab a beer with me and Nguyen before we start packing the bus?"

"Hi, I'm Corey," he said sticking his hand out to Jo. "Jill and I used to be a thing! I can't believe we ran into each other here. You guys put on a hell of a show tonight!" Corey was a little drunk, it sounded like.

"A thing, huh?" Jo gave him the side eye, and didn't shake his hand.

"Hey Corey, nice to run into you. I want to grab a drink with Jo and her friend, so maybe we'll run into each other again sometime, okay?" I tried to maneuver us towards the bar, but Corey stepped in my way.

"Can I buy you guys a round? I wouldn't mind catching up."

"That's really nice of you, but..." I started.

"But we can get our own drinks. Thanks Corey," Jo said she took my hand and started to walk away. If he'd been sober, I think he might have sensed the danger.

"Oh ho! I get it, still doing the whole 'bi' thing, huh?"

"Hey! Corey, I..." I started again.

Jo spun around on him. "Hey pencil dick, I didn't want to have to say get lost, but why don't you fucking get lost?" She turned back to continue towards the bar, pulling me with her.

"What's your problem, dyke?!" Corey reached out and grabbed Jo's arm and spun her around.

"Corey!" I gasped, but Jo was already moving.

She grabbed the front of Corey's shirt and pulled his head down towards her as she slammed her forehead into his nose. There was a sick, crunching sound and he went down hard, blood pouring from his face.

"Jo!" I yelled. She stood over him with a smear of his blood on her face waiting to see if he would get up.

"Don't ever fucking call me that, pencil dick," she said, in an ice-cold voice.

"That was goddamn stupid, Sis," Steve said as Suzanne was applying a butterfly bandage to the small cut above Jo's eyebrow.

"Why? It's not like I punched him. I wasn't going to chance breaking a playing hand."

"That's not what I—"

"You Jo Collins?" interrupted a Fayetteville police sergeant walking up to our group as we sat at the now empty bar.

"Yes, sergeant."

"Okay. So, we've got four or five witnesses who vouch that he grabbed you and that you, ah, defended yourself. Do you want to press charges against him?"

"No, sergeant."

"Good, because he's a bit of a pansy-ass and if you push this someone might realize that a warrant officer in the U.S. Army maybe should have better judgment than to head-butt a drunk civilian. You got me Chief?"

"I got you, sergeant. Thank you."

"Just know if any of my officers had thought you were intoxicated tonight we'd be having a different conversation." He nodded at the group and walked off.

"Okay," sighed Steve. "We'll get the bus packed up. Jill, make sure she keeps this ice pack on that bump and stays out of trouble."

"I will." Steve and Suzanne left us sitting at the bar together.

"Jo—"

"What? He grabbed me."

I sighed too. "Jo, he is a pencil dick, but it wasn't worth that. What if he'd hurt you?" She snorted. "Or you could have given yourself a concussion or he could have had friends who swore you started it and you could be in the back of a police car right now."

"If he's a pencil dick, why did you date him in the first place? And how come you never told me you were into dudes when we started this dance, Doran?"

"What?!"

"You told me you were a lesbian."

I could feel my voice rising against my will. "I told you I was gay, but I'm bisexual and I didn't think it was relevant!"

"Didn't think it was relevant?" Jo's voice was tight. "After I told you about Amy fucking around on me with a dude you didn't think I might have concerns?"

I started seeing red. "First of all, Amy fucked around on you because she was she was a crazy bitch and a cheater, not because she was 'bisexual'!"

"I—" she started but I wasn't having it.

"So if you're worried about me being like Amy, you can rest your little mind Jo, because I'm neither of those things. Number two, you've been all up in my face about how this thing between us is ending after tomorrow night so why the fuck do you care!?" I think it was the first time I'd sworn in front of her and she looked shocked.

"Look, I..."

"I'm sorry if I'm not lesbian enough for you, but I've never cheated on anyone in my life, man or woman. And whether I choose to be with either a man or a woman, it isn't any of your fucking business! Fuck you, Jo!"

I stormed out of the bar to the parking lot and parked myself on the sidewalk, simultaneously fuming and crying, watching cars go by.

Sara came up behind me and put an arm around me.

"You heard that?"

"I'm pretty sure everyone in Fayetteville heard that. I'm sorry. She was way out of line."

"No kidding."

"So, what now?"

"I'm not sure. I don't know if I can get on the bus with her right now. I'm thinking about taking a Lyft to the airport."

"Please don't do that," I heard behind me.

I turned to see Jo standing there with her hands in the pockets of her jeans. I looked at Sara and nodded. She squeezed my shoulder and left, staring Jo in the face as she walked by her.

"Please don't go to the airport. That's not right, I don't want you to have to go through that hassle."

"Oh, that's so nice that you don't want me to be inconvenienced Jo."

"I mean... Blue, I'm—"

"Why don't we stick with Doran for now?"

She turned away from me and yelled at the sky "Jesus fucking Christ I am so bad at this!" She turned back and walked towards me. "Doran, I'm sorry. I was so far out of line I can't even see the line anymore right now. I heard that little douche like... laying a claim on you and it just turned me sideways. And then he said that shit about you being bi and I was so shocked to hear that and also so pissed that he was talking to you like that. And then he grabbed me and I lost my shit."

"Right now, I really don't give a damn about what your problem with was Corey, Jo."

"I know! That's just all what came before and then I was amped up and then my stupid fucking mouth did what it does. I've got no goddamn right to take you to task for anything! I'm the one who's been so single-minded about this having to be temporary. And I don't know where the fuck I get off coming at you about you not being a lesbian or being bi or whatever."

She sighed and looked down at her feet. "You're a hundred percent righteous here. I understand you're done with me. You're right to be. But you shouldn't have to..." She looked over at the bus. "Look I'll take the couch on the bus tonight and then, I'll stay out of your way until you can go back to DC with Steve and Sara. Or, if you're uncomfortable with that, I can catch a ride with Nguyen to the barracks and stay here. I'll borrow a car from someone in my unit and go up and see dad after you guys are gone from the farm. Just let me know what you want."

A silence fell over us. I stared at her, my jaw clenched.

"Doran., just tell me what you want and I'll do it."

"I'm not going to kick you off your own bus, Jo. And I'm not going to make you put off visiting your dad. But I'm not taking the couch, it's lumpy."

She looked relieved. "Okay Doran. I'm... I'm just really sorry. I never wanted to insult or humiliate you like that."

She waited, but I gave her nothing.

"Okay. Okay, I'm going to go say goodbye to Nguyen and then help them finish packing up. If you want to go ahead and get on the bus now and take a bunk, you won't even have to see me again tonight. In fact, make them give you the bedroom if you want."

I watched her walk off towards where the guys were loading the trailer. Part of me was still two seconds from pulling out my phone and calling a ride. But I didn't want this to just... end, not like this.

It was part selfish. Sure, I was furious, but I knew by tomorrow I'd be over it. Probably. Maybe. And I could have one more day with my Jo.

But also... I knew this must be how every one of her relationships had ended for the last eight years. She'd fuck up or her 'girlfriend' would fuck up and one of them would just walk away. I knew we didn't have a prayer of lasting past the next two days. She was too damaged to let it happen. But maybe... maybe if I could get her to see it didn't have to be like that every time. Maybe in the smallest way I could help her heal herself and she might find happiness somewhere down the path she was on.