Hard Lesson Learnt

This is mostly a true story. I say mostly as the basis of how I ended up where I am and the path that my personal desires took me down is pretty close to accurate. I have obviously changed names, the industry I work in and avoided locations to protect identities. Some facts and timescales have been adjusted to make the story flow, not least the period of isolation and working from home that came with the worldwide pandemic.

I did intend to write my whole story in one, but the amount of time I have available and the detail that has come out once started means that it is better to separate it out. Chapter One tells the story of our life together and builds up to the event that changed my life in a major way - I am still not sure whether it is a change for the better or worse!

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About us first, I met my wife, Rachel, at the company where we both had our first full time jobs, a mid-size logistics and transportation firm where she worked in HR, and I was junior sales. Neither of us had much of a dating history and no real sexual experience, but we got on well straight away and started dating after getting together at a works party. We have been together ever since.

Rachel is 5 ft 5 inches tall with mousy blonde shoulder-length hair. She would say that she is a little overweight, but nobody else would agree with her. I think it is because she looks down and can only really see her D cup tits, which throws her perspective off. In reality, she has a medium build with a beautiful face with soft features, great set of legs and of course that rack. Over everything though, she has a great personality, always smiling and chatty with never a bad word to say, and she would do anything to help anyone out. She is one of life's good people, and everybody loves Rachel.

We don't currently have any children. In the early years, we consciously decided to avoid parenting in favor of progressing careers and enjoying life while still young. More recently, we haven't tried to have children, but we haven't tried not to either. At this point, it just hasn't happened. Neither of us are overly concerned about it at the moment, but may take medical advice if nothing happens naturally.

To describe me, you might say "Mr Average," 5'10 tall not attractive or unattractive, not fat or thin and with no special features, but I do have the ability to make people laugh, especially Rachel. I always counted myself very lucky to have met her when she was single and for some reason had not really dated much. She always said that she hadn't met the right person. She didn't enjoy being hit on in bars or clubs, so never found the right guy there.

At work, we saw each other almost every day, so I suppose I had a chance to grow on her. We talked, and I made her laugh, a lot, and things turned flirtatious over time. We then got together, while drunk, at the works do, I seized the day and never looked back. Together, we were, and are still, very happy together.

I say I am average, but I have to be honest about my penis, which in reality is below average. I am a "grower not a shower," which means when totally inactive my little fella will shrink down to a very soft and less than 2-inch nub, literally a finger and thumb hold to take a leak. At full mast it might make 5 inches and be an average circumference.

This is where else I was lucky, Rachel was a virgin when we got together, so accepted my penis as normal and always said that it is enough for her. She claimed that I regularly made her orgasm, but if this was true, it was because I got pretty good with fingers and tongue. I felt I had to work at this part of foreplay, as my little dick could never hold on for long once I was inside her. I'd feel the warmth of her tight pussy and a few strokes later I'd shoot my load. Always far too soon and I could often sense her disappointment, but to her credit she would never moan about it.

Life progressed well, we were happy, and after 7 years learning the ropes I left the company we worked at and started on my own. I had built good relationships with several major clients, and they mostly came with me. Over just a few more years the business grew well, Rachel came across to help build the administration side and a couple of years later my former bosses decided to retire and sold me what was left of their business.

My only issue during this time was some personal over borrowing when trying to expand the business. It put the pressure on me financially so, to protect the business, I transferred ownership to Rachel, eventually though we worked through the problem. We now have a good size transport and logistics firm with just over 50 employees, good profits, and we are very comfortable financially.

I run the company day to day and Rachel comes in for a few hours once or twice a week. She still does a little management and HR, but mainly spends her time wandering around the office or warehouse chatting to employees and using her exceptional personal skills to keep everyone positive and happy.

To be honest I think most of the guys look forward to her visits, especially in the warmer months when she will dress light and cool, normally in something which innocently shows off her legs and body. Often she will call in on the way to tennis or the gym and be in her tennis skirt and pumps or Lycra workout gear.

This isn't necessarily a professional dress code but I enjoy it. I always thought she looks hot in that type of gear, but I have found that it really turns me on to see the way the men at work ogle her and make their little innuendos. She seems totally oblivious to the attention she receives and the effect she has on men. She has always been this way, but I see it and I know that guys always enjoy seeing more of her.

Our sex life was always fairly vanilla, especially in the early days. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed it, and we screwed regularly once we moved in to our first house, but Rachel was always a little straight laced and unadventurous.

Our business grew fast, we moved several times to bigger and better houses, and our social life was excellent. But while this all moved along very nicely, my wife stayed pretty straightforward and a bit boring in the bedroom. When in bed, either of us could initiate sex, but Rachel was a bit of a prude and discussions about sex or anything non-Vanilla embarrassed her. She would never initiate anything different, and I soon gave up trying because she would just say "not now," or "not here," or "I'm not doing that!"

When we did get down to anything in bed, she would move pretty swiftly towards penetration. She might give me a few tugs, but refused to give me a blow job. This was mainly because, on the couple of early occasions that she gave it a go, my lack of any level of control meant that my little cock shot its load in her mouth very quickly. To say she didn't enjoy that would be an understatement, the taste was apparently repulsive, and I was selfish for not warning her that I was about to blow!

I would personally always try a bit harder on foreplay than her, to try and make sure she got something out of it, before I shot my load inside her.

Typically, I would start by worshiping her tits, rubbing and squeezing before rolling her large erect nipples in my fingers. I would then start sucking on them while my hand moved down to her pussy, where I would spend as long as possible, alternating between rubbing her outer lips, sliding a couple of fingers in and out and gently massaging her clit. This would bring moans of contentment and an ever wetter pussy. She would regularly tell me that she would orgasm from my finger work.

I would then try to move down to provide some oral pleasure, sometimes she would refuse, saying that she couldn't wait any longer and wanted me inside her. When I did go down on her, I would always get some additional moaning and additional orgasms. Despite the regularity of our lovemaking, it would always follow pretty much the same standard format.

She was so beautiful and her body was so hot that it was difficult to get bored by being naked with her, getting to touch and feel her. Despite this, there was always an element of me that wanted more. I had no interest in cheating on her so, like a lot of guys, I used the internet to expand my sexual world. It didn't take long before I was a bit of a porn addict. I like to think that porn helped her to more orgasms because I improved my masturbatory and oral techniques by watching, reading tips and trying them on her.

I knew Rachel wouldn't be in to porn or approve of how much I looked and read about sex, so it was always done secretly, in the home office while "working late," or supposedly playing World of Warcraft. She thought I was obsessed with that game, in reality I've hardly ever played, just set up a profile and done some basics in case I ever need to prove the cover story.

As I mentioned, I regularly put little things I'd learned in to my repertoire, but always fantasized about more and more extravagant sex ideas. I tried to introduce her to other ideas like role play, some basic home nudity, sex outdoors etc. and mostly she would look at me a little weirdly and ask where I got these crazy ideas from?

Nagging meant that she eventually gave in, and we tried some new things. One time she brought a leather catsuit and riding crop by mail order, she looked fantastic, and we had a few good nights with that.

We had sex on the beach during a short break away, but the places the sand got were not to her liking.

On one particular occasion we were on a hike in the woods and I talked her in to heading off the trail for some outdoor fun. She wasn't keen at first and was very cautious, but I reminded her of how quiet this area always was and we had moved well off the track. The lunchtime beers from the cooler in my backpack had probably eased her mind as well.

After some kissing and touching I pushed forward and, despite several attempts from her to go no further, I kept trying and eventually her resistance snapped, she went all in. Eventually I had her pushed back against a tree, her tits were out with her top on the floor and her sports bra up round her neck, her shorts and panties were round one of her ankles, I had stepped the other out to allow her legs to spread. I was holding her wrists together, stretched above her head to fully expose those beautiful breasts, and was kissing and nibbling at them. My other hand was at her pussy with my fingers deep inside her, her eyes were closed, and she was moaning softly.

It was at this point I saw some movement out of the corner of my eye. I jumped and looked to see an older guy, a hiker, standing by a tree about 25 feet away and rubbing his cock through his trousers. I had convinced myself and Rachel that the odds of someone seeing us were almost nil, but there he was! I froze internally and should have reacted, but it immediately dawned on me that him seeing my gorgeous wife fully naked, with juices flowing from the rough fingering I was inflicting, was an absolute turn on for me.

I grinned at him and went back to my actions. The restart of my actions caused her to gasp and settle back in. I carried on for another couple of minutes, she was getting quite loud and very wet. I started to think on my next move. Should I get my cock out? Would I screw her here knowing that this guy was watching?

It didn't get that far. I'm not sure if he took my failure to chase him off as an invitation, but after a little while he stepped closer, in doing so he made a noise. Rachel's eyes flew open at the sound and a panicked scream came out while pulling her hands away from mine and desperately trying to cover herself, the guy jumped, turned on his heels and was gone.

I claimed that I had only spotted him at the same time that she did, and he must be some type of pervert. We headed straight home, with her mumbling about the total embarrassment of it all. I pointed out that nothing bad had happened, and it was actually a bit of a laugh. I didn't tell her what a total turn on I had found it and that, in reality, I was probably the bigger pervert.

I had always told her that my ideas and suggestions were for her to have more fun, she would counter with "I already enjoy what we do and don't need anything more, it must be you who wants more!" Obviously, she was right.

Despite her being perfect and way too good for me, despite my inability to stop myself shooting my load in 10 seconds flat, my obsession with porn kept leading me further down the road of wanting more. I wanted something extra, and what I thought I wanted always seemed a little more extreme.

I had watching and read about public nudity, bondage, some light BDSM which led me to something that really turned me on, Female Domination and Female Led Relationships. The idea of being ordered to carry out sexual acts on a dominant female was really hot to me. Seeing guys in this position who were locked in chastity and with no way of release gave me an instant hard on. Reading that the lack of a hard on when caged prevented ejaculation and therefore keeps you in a permanent horny state, convinced me that this was something worth trying.

Digging further in to this led me to cuckolding, the female in the relationship having sex with someone other than her partner, with the partner's full knowledge. Watching the porn videos for this type of FLR showed mostly hung black men screwing hot white women while husbands watched on. Obviously the majority are faked, they aren't the real husbands, the couple fucking are porn stars and normal guys dicks aren't really as big as shown, but watching those massive members stretching pussy to the extreme was something that I thought I wanted to see, up close and personal. Interracial Porn really hit the spot.

Sex and sexual scenarios were always swirling around my mind, I continued to read stories and blogs and watched more porn. This wasn't satisfying my desires, it was escalating them. I was becoming addicted and struggling to concentrate. I needed to change something, so decided to come clean to Rachel, partially.

After a nice evening meal one night and after a few drinks for courage, I bit the bullet and told her that I thought there could be more to our sex lives! I didn't tell her how deep in to porn I was or how obsessed I was getting. I made sure to start by telling her that she was still the only woman for me, but I had been thinking about what I needed and how we might change things up.

She was surprised at first and the first hour was her struggling to understand what was wrong with what we had and why I wanted something else. I eventually convinced her that it was just about trying different things, and that she might enjoy it as well, but that I needed variety. We got past the initial objections and she asked me to explain.

At this point I had probably had a couple more than I should and I started to blurt things out. Her eyes went a bit wide, and she had a little half smile. After the initial caution, she had clearly become intrigued and was enjoying how awkward I was obviously feeling. Her eyes were sparkling, I hoped that she was getting a bit exited by what we were talking about.

She said, "Stop, you're rambling, I'm going to lose track and forget. I want to do this for you...., with you, I need to make a note so that I can go back over it when my head is clear. Actually, let me record it!" She pulled out her phone and hit the voice memo record.

"Right, start again honey, I want to know everything. If you don't tell me about it, I can't decide if I want to do it, can I?"

I started again, at the same easy level.

"Sexy underwear," I almost shouted. She chuckled, "lace stuff, see through and stockings, stuff like that." I could tell it sounded a bit random and none specific, probably because it wasn't actually one of my hot topics, but I felt I needed to start gently.

"OK." she said

"OK," she said. I continued "Bondage, I think being tied up seems exciting, being restricted and at the others' mercy," she nodded with an accepting look on her face. OK, I thought, staying positive! "That might also allow a bit of BDSM."

"What's that?" she said, looking confused

"It just means some punishment, maybe spanking or whipping. Something that brings a little pain."

"Right,... what else?"

"Well, we've already thought about a bit of role play and doing it outdoors, so more of that. Maybe set up some cameras so that we can re-watch ourselves? I like the idea of being filmed."

No Response.

"What else?" She asked, "I can tell that you've not finished."

Here it was, my main interest at the moment, if I didn't say know then I probably never would. Here goes,

"I want you to dominate me!"

"What?" She looked very confused.

"I feel that I want us to try a Female Led Relationship. It's something where the woman takes complete control. It's mainly for the bedroom, but some couples do it in all aspects of their lives."

"How do you mean complete control?"

"You would decide everything about our sex lives, what we do, when we do it. It's focused on your pleasure."

"I already get pleasure from what we do."

"But you might find extra pleasure by having complete control! Apparently, most women in these situations enjoy the fact that they take the upper hand and can control when the man can cum."

"How?" looking very confused.

I felt like I was losing her and really started to ramble, "you would lock me in a chastity device and keep hold of the key. It stops me getting an erection and in turn stops me cumming."

"And you think this is good?" She was clearly shocked.

"For a period of time, yes," I said, "I think it would be a turn on. It would keep me horny and ready to do anything you wanted whenever you wanted. You tease me and deny my ability to orgasm, then only you decide when you want to release me and when I can cum."

"Anything I wanted, like what?"

"Wait on you hand and foot, massage whenever you want it," She's interested! "I read that a man in chastity is always horny, so will do anything to please his woman. Oral sex every day, you can sit on my face while watching TV." That went a bit weird!

"The woman takes the controlling hand in the relationship and gets what she wants, I don't know why, it turns me on! If I don't please you, then you don't unlock me. Or you can punish me with chores or spankings. You can humiliate me about having a small penis, you can even screw my ass with a strap on!"

"Dave!!!" (that's me by the way) "would you actually enjoy that, is that something that you would want?" she had a stunned look

" I don't know, I think that, if it is with you, and you wanted it, then it could be hot. Apparently, anal sex can be very stimulating for both men or women."

"Well, don't expect anything to be going up my back passage," she said. "Now, if you are in some chastity device, how do I get pleasure from, er..., from penetration?"

"There are ways; you could use a dildo or vibrator, or at least make me use it on you." My heart had been pounding through this conversation and I could feel that my face was flushed, I now started to get turned on by where things were going.

"There is a growing culture, I think it's called Loving Wives or Cuckolding or something," acting vague, "where the dominant wife has sex with other men, who are better endowed than their husbands, to get their pleasure that way."

"You think I would cheat on you?" Again, I had shocked her.

"No, of course not, I would be there, involved, so that it is still our sexual experience, but you are getting the full physical pleasure at a level that I can't give you."

"You would like me to have sex with someone else, and you would enjoy watching?"