Missing commas, misspellings galore, misused words and crap like, "...I walked although way down and back..." Makes reading your story more like work than pleasure. You have to start by caring about your message and your readers.
Discovered the joy and pleasures of being naked at a young age...and then masturbation. Had a private dorm room where I was naked all the time. When I was single I would be naked and edging and on the net. Now, married, but still at home nudist.