He Used To Be My Idol

"I never blamed you, Candice," Kayla gushed.

"No, you never did. I mean you had every right to. I did wreck your marriage."

"No you didn't. I destroyed it, you just offered me a means to accomplish it."

Kayla jumped up. "I need to freshen up, I'll be back in a minute. Don't go anywhere."

After she ran off, Candice and I slipped into an uncomfortable silence. I broke it when I asked. "Was she really that bad? Or were you laying it on for my benefit?"

"No, Luke, she was really bad. I was scared."

"Does she know that you and I slept together?" I asked, afraid of the answer.

Taking a sip of her champagne, she nodded slowly. "Yes, I told her. I didn't know you were coming back to town. We are friends, and we don't tell lies to each other."

"Will you be honest with me?" I asked.

"Perhaps, depends on the question."

"Has she slept with Rogan since that night?"

She frowned. "Now why in the hell would you ask that? Good god, you're broken up. You ran away. Why would you care?"

"I assume the answer is yes, then."

"You can assume what you want. It's none of your damn business. You had no claim on what she did with her life. I bet you slept with other women apart from me."

I gulped down my champagne and poured another. We sat staring at each other and she sat bolt upright and yelped. "Oh my god. You're still in love with her aren't you? Oh my god."

"Shut up," I snapped.

"Luke, be honest with me. If you want me to be honest with you, then offer me the same courtesy. Are you in love with Kayla?"

"You want honesty, the truth is I don't know. Seeing Kayla has brought up a lot of old memories, a lot of emotions. I can't answer your question. I definitely don't wish her any harm. I want her to be happy."

Candice smiled, stood up and walked over to sit beside me, her arm around my waist. "You asked me a question. The answer is no. She has never slept with Rogan. They are friends, they remained that way because Rogan is my friend, and we catch up frequently when he's in town."

I felt stupid hearing her answer my question. She was right, it was none of my business, but if that was the case, why was it so important?

"Luke, if you do have feelings for her, and you obviously do, why not go with it. I know she loves you. She has done nothing but talk about you since you waked into the shop."

"It was a shock to me, as well."

"She loves you, Luke, always has. God damn it, she made a mistake. It wasn't even her fault. It was Rogan and me, we're the ones who fucked up."

"No, I fucked up as well. I overreacted. I should have taken my time and talked it through with her. Either that, or I should have thrown her over my shoulder and carried her out."

"Oh, the old cave man instinct. You know that doesn't work."

"Yeah, then why did she go off with that dirt bag. If you can explain it, then I might understand. I have asked myself that question over and over a million times. I still don't know the damned answer."

Candice nuzzled up a little closer and her head rested on my shoulder. Her hot breath whispering softly. "The answer is difficult, Luke. Put yourself in her shoes. The richest sexiest woman on the planet makes a play for you. Offers to fly you off to exotic locations and spend the weekend making wild passionate abandoned love to you. She promises you that nothing is out of bounds, and that your wife is going to be suitably looked after. There will be no consequences, and that is the important part. There will be no come-backs, no recriminations. Would you do it?"

"I was in that place, wasn't I? Candice, you are probably, the sexiest woman I have ever met. So would I do it? No, I wouldn't."

I felt the life oozing out of her body. "Luke, you are an exceptional person. Not many men would have done that. Thank you, by the way, but I thought you loved Kayla?"

"I do, she is beautiful in ways you aren't. She is sexy, gorgeous and she was meant to be mine. Only mine, nobody else's."

"Luke, all she gave to Rogan was her body, she didn't give him her heart. Believe me when I say that. I am an expert on what I give away."

"What?"

"Luke, my job is sex. I have sex with men for money. Do you think I give them my heart? No of course not. I give them my body for as long as they can afford."

I stared at her and saw her face tighten into a little grimace. "I thought you liked your job."

"I do, most of the time, but occasionally, not so much."

"Then why do you do it."

"Because it pays well and keeps me in the manner in which I have become accustomed to."

"So it's just for the money?"

She winced, I could see it was a painful discussion. "Luke, at first I loved it. I got to fly around the world in private jets, stay in the most expensive hotels. It was glamorous, and exciting. Okay, some of the men, would not be my first choice, but they were pleasant."

"Something happened to change that?"

"Yes, I fell in love."

"Really, who with?"

She but her lip as she let it slip. "Rogan, and before you say anything, he is a wonderful man. He has some strange quirks, but he is lovely, we became friends, and I saw a side of him most people don't see."

I didn't respond, I wanted to bite back, but I could see it would fall on deaf ears. "So why did that change things?"

"I fell out of love with the job. I got sick of being used. Thankfully, one of the things Rogan taught me was how to invest my money. I no longer needed to work. I live comfortably, and Kayla has done an incredible job with our business."

"If you don't do it anymore, why did you sleep with me?"

She grinned a sexy flirtatious little smile. "I didn't say I gave up all together. These days, I only do the occasional job for Rogan. He was the one who asked me to do that job. Before you ask, No, neither of us knew it was you."

She poured herself more champagne. Glancing at her sipping her drink I asked. "If you're in love with Rogan, why sell yourself to others?"

"It keeps me close to Rogan, and I get to choose whether or not I do it."

"Does Rogan know you're in love with him?"

"I have never told him. He knows I do have very deep emotional connection with him. He said the same thing to me. We have a connection."

Just at that moment, Kayla emerged from the darkness. Candice was draped over me, her head on my shoulder, her mouth close to my ear, my arm around her waist as we embraced.

I saw the shocked look on Kayla's face. "Oh god, sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt. I'll go back inside."

Candice saw the look of horror on Kayla's face, as well. She jumped up, flinging my arm from her waist. She jumped into Kayla's arms. "You will do no such thing. We were just talking."

Kayla accusingly hissed. "It looked like more than talking to me."

Candice reached up, grabbed her head in her hands and kissed her. "Kayla, babes, I wouldn't do that. Neither would Luke. He loves you. I promise, we were just talking." She glanced back at me searching for support.

"It's true, Kayla. We were talking about you actually."

"Me!" She blustered.

"Yes, Candice was just explaining what a wonderful job you have done with the shop."

Candice almost pushed Kayla towards me, and she sat where Candice had been. She was huffy, and obviously unconvinced. Candice poured the last of the champagne into a glass for Kayla, and said, "I'm going to get another bottle."

Kayla sat unspeaking. I decided to try and get the ball rolling. "Did you know Candice is in love with Rogan?"

"Yes, she told me ages ago."

"What do you think, is there any hope for her?"

She sniggered breathlessly. "I don't know, Rogan does like her a lot. Every time he's in town he stays with her, they talk almost every day. I think in his way, he does love her, but he is a strange guy."

"You remained friends with him?"

"It's hard not to. Candice is my best friend and he is such a big part of her life. Aside from that, I do like him."

"Even although he caused the destruction of our marriage."

"Luke, he didn't, I did. He may have made the suggestion, but it was me. I didn't listen to you. It was my fault. I should have slapped his face and walked away. You can't blame him."

"Sorry, but I see it differently. Only a sleazy bastard would even approach a married woman for sex. Don't you see, he is an animal, all he cares about is his own needs. He has Candice doing his dirty work, fucking other men to try and win contracts. Jeez, Kayla, the guy's an ass."

"It's not that plain and simple, Luke. Candice likes the sex, she enjoys it when she's in control. She isn't doing it against her will."

"I don't know, Kayla, it all seems fucking twisted to me."

She nodded, her head coming to rest on my shoulder. "Yes, I don't disagree, it is a strange relationship. You can be honest with me. Did you enjoy your night with Candice?"

I chuckled. "I'm not answering that. I'm not completely stupid."

She giggled, "I just wondered, if it made you think about that night at the party, if things had been different?"

"Kayla, I have thought about it a billion times since. Did I over react, did I make the wrong call, should I have just gone along with it? I have searched my soul, and even today I don't know. Maybe things would have been okay between us. I don't think it would have worked, though. I think it would have eaten away at me, I think it would have poisoned me from the inside, and eventually it would have killed us anyway."

I felt her grip my arm tightly as we cuddled. I asked, "I don't think you thought it through, either. Nothing would convince me that you would have been happy with me going off with Candice. I think I know you well enough to know you would have hated it. Maybe that night it seemed exciting and erotic, but I think that would have slowly eroded away inside you as well, and maybe the anger would only come to the surface when we argued, but it would still have been there."

"You might be right, Luke, all I can say is, at the time, I couldn't believe you were going to get to sleep with her. Somehow, it excited me. Maybe I'm as twisted as Candice and Rogan."

Candice reappeared with another bottle of champagne. I jumped up wobbling. "Not for me, I have to go back in and look after my guests."

The party wound up, the caterers were gone. When I walked back outside, Candice and Kayla were still sitting together talking. They leaned against each other, and looked content.

I collapsed in a heap beside them. "Well, that was a great night. I think it was a success."

"It was wonderful. I haven't seen some of those guys since before you left," Kayla offered.

"Yes, great party, and you were a wonderful host," Candice slurred, the champagne finally getting to her.

"We should go," Kayla sighed.

"No, not yet, I'm to tired to move," Candice groaned.

"I'll call you a cab," I replied, dragging out my phone.

"Oh shit, I don't feel like a cab." Candice sighed. "I feel like going to bed and sleeping."

Kayla giggled, "Lazy bones, we can't stay here."

Candice winked at me. "Yes, we could, you wouldn't mind, would you, Luke? We wouldn't be any bother."

Confused, I shrugged. "I have spare beds, you can stay if you want."

Kayla and Candice exchanged glances, and I noticed Candice fluttering her eyes. Okay, I was drunk and not thinking clearly. "There are beds, and you are welcome to stay, if you want."

Candice grabbed Kayla's arm and dragged her away. "Come on, I'll fight you for the king sized one."

They staggered away arm in arm, giggling. "We might have to share," Kayla said, with a nervous giggle.

"Kinky bitch." Candice laughed. "You know what happened last time."

I stopped dead in my tracks, Their sexy giggles made me think, "What the fuck?"

I cast my eyes around the mess left behind and decided, "Fuck it," that was waiting for the morning.

When I walked past the spare bedroom door, I watched in amazement as Candice and Kayla shoved and pushed each other as they climbed into the spare bed. "Keep the noise down, will you," I called.

"No promises," yelped Candice.

As I climbed into bed, my mind spun wickedly. Surely they weren't... No, surely not.

Sleep came quickly and easily. I don't think a plane crashing into the house would have awakened me. The next morning I woke late to a pounding headache, and I promised myself, "Never again."

I eased slowly out of bed, every bone aching and my joints creaking. I staggered into the shower, turned it up full and stood under the stinging jets. It didn't ease my headache, but god it felt good. I dried off, dressed and wandered out to tackle the mess. I completely forgot about Candice and Kayla. It was the snoring, that alerted me to their presence. I poked my head in the open door to their bedroom.

They lay together, snuggled up together, with arms and legs draped over each other. Candice, who was lying on her back, was snoring loudly. It was a cute snorting snore, almost musical.

I needed food, but with my head pounding, I decided the better solution was to drive down to the cafe on the beach and get food.

Reversing out the driveway, I got a sense for how stupid this was. I could still go over on a DUI.

Pulling onto the main road, I spotted a big Waffle House sign, and decided. That was it.

I remembered Kayla's favourite from when we were dating was the cheeseburger. We just about lived on the damn things when we got together. I got a whole bunch of waffles and stuff, as well as coffees, big coffees.

I parked and carried the food inside, thinking "damn it, should have got codeine..."

Clearing the table, I spread out the food. Still no noises coming from the bedroom. I walked up, hoping to wake them, but they were up and I heard giggles coming from the bathroom. Jesus, just how close were these two? My dick gave a little twitch at the thought of it. "Oh, holy shit no." I mumbled, walking back to the dining room.

I got some plates and cutlery out. By the time I laid them on the table, the girls walked out wearing my big fluffy bath robes.

"Ahhh, so that's where you were. We thought you must have run off again." Candice giggled.

She leaned over the table, inhaling deeply. "Damn, this smells good." She glanced up at me. "I'm starving."

Kayla sighed. "Thanks, Luke, god, it does smell good." As she sat down she also giggled. "Oh my god, Cheeseburgers! How long has it been? I can't believe you remembered."

We sat down and dived into the food. "So what's on the radar for you girls today?" I asked.

Kayla sighed. "Sleep, I reckon. My head is thumping."

Candice asked me, and I shrugged. "I might go for a surf. The wind is good, might clear my head."

"You still love to surf then?" Kayla asked.

"Every day, if I can."

"Being the boss has it's privileges, huh?" Candice added.

"Yep, sure does."

We finished breakfast and they gave me a hand to clean up. As we were cleaning, Kayla said, "You haven't opened our present yet."

They gave me a hand to strip off the gift wrapping. Sitting there was a top of the line coffee machine. Stunned, I hugged them both. "Thanks, but you didn't have to."

"Oh, stop it," Candice said. "With what we charged you, it's the least we could do."

Astonished, I stepped back, but Kayla jumped in. "We're joking, dummy. We gave you a good deal."

"Could you drop us of at home please, Luke? I don't want to go out in my gown." Candice pleaded.

They stayed in the bathrobes and I dropped them off at Kayla's place.

Sitting on my board, the Pacific swell caressing me, I took stock. Kayla, damn, the emotions wouldn't go down. She was funny, and even when things were tense, she still got me.

The realisation dawned on me, I still loved her, I probably knew that already, but accepting it. That was the hard part. It meant I had to forgive her, but it was so long ago, the anger had dissipated.

The question was, "Could we make a go of it?" She was obviously interested, and with my new realisation, I knew I was.

Damn it. Why did I come back to LA?

The next couple of days I buried myself in work, I wanted to call Kayla, I missed her, even though it had been only days since I saw her.

At night, my mind filled with images. It was clear, I needed to do something. The question was, what?

Work, was difficult, too. Diji was pushing for more information about my new ideas, and things were tense there, as well. I was so damn close to having a prototype ready.

There was no escaping giving them a preview, although I did so with the proviso I was probably going to take it to the market.

That caused a stir, and suddenly I was talking to lawyers rather than company execs. Their expectations were clear. They wanted me to market through them. They offered a reduced construction cost for the units and a strong marketing strategy. The new device would fit in perfectly with the earlier models, and it would give them market share. They would be the company of choice for consumers wanting this level of gaming.

I can be a stubborn prick. The harder they pushed, the more I wanted to go to market, test the waters, and hopefully push them into offering a better deal.

It was Kayla who rang me. I had been trying to build the courage, but it alluded me. She rang out of the blue. "Luke, would you like to go out for dinner?"

"Why, did my check bounce?"

She laughed. "No, I just thought you might like to go out for dinner." She sighed despondently. "If you don't want to, I understand."

"Are we talking a date, a proper date?"

She snickered. "Yes, a date."

"Dinner, dancing, the whole nine yards?"

"Yes, although I would have settled for a movie. I used to love when we went to the movies, snuck in our own treats. I adored those times."

"Won't Candice be jealous?"

Taken aback, I heard her sharp intake of breath. "What? Why would she be jealous?"

"Oh, I don't know. You two seemed pretty close the other night."

She giggled hysterically. "Sounds like you're the one who was jealous."

"Yeah, a little I guess. Do you two get together often?"

"Oh, now that would be telling wouldn't it? If the date goes well, I might tell. But girls don't usually kiss and tell, you know. We aren't like men. We don't brag."

"Hmmm, bragging, huh. Wow, it must have been pretty good."

"Well, you have slept with her. You should know."

"Hah, and you say girls don't tattle-tale. How did you know."

She giggled. "So is it a date?"

"Yes, I'll pick you up at seven, and don't be late."

"What do you mean, don't be late?"

"Oh, it might be a while ago, but I remember you getting ready to go out. Fifteen dress changes, twenty pairs of shoes. Oh, I remember."

The date was amazing. It was like we turned the clock back five years. Like when we used to date. I think we were both cautious, circling the hard issues. We talked about work, business, friends, surfing. It was fun.

Over the next few weeks we dated a lot; we started having lunch together. She called me like ten times a day, and if it was on a night we didn't date, she called me late at night and we talked until one of us fell asleep.

Work progressed quickly, and I decided to test the waters. I floated the new device to a few select companies. I was careful to stay away from organisations with links to Morse's empire.

The feedback was phenomenal and the interest quickly grew. It was out of left field when I received a phone call from a guy who I didn't know. He was supposedly representing a major company. He wouldn't give details, but promised he was serious and would match any offers, if the product turned out to be as good as purported.

We set up a meeting at my offices, he duly arrived on time and looking every bit the salesman. I gave him a run down and demonstration, using my own personal devices.

"Oh shit, man this is good, this is real good. God damn it, boy. These images are so clear and lifelike. This shit is good."