He Used To Be My Idol

I had shared with Diji the basic concept of what I wanted to do and where we could take the ongoing development.

I pulled back. I stayed at my offices and stuck to myself. I missed the team at Diji, a couple of the other programmers and I had built a pretty tight working relationship, and their skills meshed well with mine. Not having them to bounce ideas of would slow me down.

Kayla picked up on it straight away. "You don't go into the Diji offices much these days."

"Nah, well, they're not Diji anymore. Now they're just part of Morse's organisation."

"But I thought you were working on the next big thing? I think I remember you saying what you were working on would make the existing systems old, and redundant. You were going to conquer the world."

"I'm still developing it. I'm just not doing it for him. It will take me longer by myself, but I will still get there."

"Don't you think it's time to bury the hatchet, sweets? Let bygones be bygones?"

"Kayla, we talked about this. I will never work for Morse." I rasped loudly.

"I was just saying, don't bite my head off."

Candice was around over the weekend. Kayla prepared a big dinner and we were talking as we always did. A few drinks had disappeared and we were feeling no pain. Talk eventually slipped around to work, and Candice teased me. "Well, I guess, you should have sold to Rogan. He ended up with it anyway."

"Yeah well, it must have cost him a shit load."

She giggled, "Yes, no thanks to you. He was pretty angry."

"Good, then mission accomplished."

Kayla poured us more drinks. And Candice made her announcement. "Look guys, I have been dying to tell somebody. Rogan wants to keep it quiet until he's ready to make it public, but I can't wait. I have to tell somebody. He asked me to marry him."

Kayla sprang to her feet and dragged Candice into a huge hug. They bounced around like crazy schoolgirls. "Oh my god. When's the wedding?"

"We haven't decided yet. Not for a while. Rogan is pretty busy nailing down this new merger. It's taking a lot of his time."

I was stunned and sitting there, mouth hanging open. "Well, aren't you going to congratulate me?" She giggled happily.

Shaking my head to clear the fog, I nodded. "Yeah, sorry. Yes, congratulations. I'm happy for you."

The girls went off on a crazy giggling explosion of joyous emotions. They started talking about dresses, and that's when Candice said, "Kayla, I want you to be my maid of honour."

I thought Kayla was going to burst. "Oh yes, yes, yes. I would love to."

Candice glanced at me, looking past Kayla's enveloping arms. "Luke, it sort of means you have to be there, as well. I can't have my maid of honour without a partner."

"She's a big girl. She can look after herself."

The dancing stopped and Kayla glared at me angrily. "Luke, you can't be serious. You have to go."

"No, I don't. I don't have to do anything. Look, I'm happy for you Candice, I know how much you think of Morse. I'm just not going."

Candice's face hardened and her dissatisfaction became apparent. "Luke, I always thought you were a decent guy. Confused, and misguided, but a decent guy. I thought we were friends."

"Candice, we are friends. At least, I count you as my friend, but you know how I feel about Morse."

"God, don't be so infantile. Jesus, Luke, you can't even say his name. His name is Rogan. Shit, you don't have to talk to him, there will be other people you know there. You can't let Kayla go alone."

Kayla added her pleading. "Please, Luke. We are a couple, partners. You aren't going there to support Rogan, you're going to support Candice, my best friend and business partner. This silly grudge has gone on long enough."

I tried to get out of it, but there was no escaping the pair of them. In the end, I folded and agreed to go.

The worldwide announcements were made, and the arrangements began. If Candice spent a lot of her time at our place before, after the announcement, she was like a permanent attachment. They spent hours going through bridal catalogues, venues, caterers. Hour after hour, planning and scheming.

If they weren't at home planning, they were at dress fittings, wedding venues, churches. I guess the one thing it gave me was time. My new latest designs began to make sense, the new logic worked better, and the clunkiness eased.

Candice walked in one day while I was in the third bedroom, which I had converted to an office so I could work from home. She poked her head in. "Hey, spunky. Kayla said to tell you you're cooking dinner. She's going to be late."

I nodded, "Yeah, okay."

She leaned in further staring at the screen. "Whatcha doing?"

"My new design. This is going to blow the market apart. Everything else is going to look old after this comes out."

"Wow, you are like one of those evil geniuses aren't you? Stuck in here working at the newest big thing."

"Yeah, I suppose I am."

"What are you going to do with this one?"

"I don't know. I'll shop around, see what sort of deal I can get."

"Luke, don't take this the wrong way, but why not just tell Rogan? Get him and his team involved. You know he won't be beaten. He will end up with it anyway."

"Candice, I will sell it. What the new owners do with it is something out of my control."

"So you are going to sell it, make a pittance, then let the new owners make a killing. It doesn't make sense. I know Rogan is dying to work with you. He knows how damn good you are. He thinks that with your evil genius qualities and his team behind you, the world is your oyster. You could make ten times what you would make marketing it yourself."

"Maybe, but I don't want to work with him."

"Ah, man, you really know how to make your own life miserable. Still, it's your funeral."

"I wanted to talk about my hen's party," she added when I didn't respond.

"Yeah, what about it?"

"Well, I want to pack up all the girls and go to Vegas for a weekend. Are you okay with that?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Oh, I don't know, Luke, it's just you can be a little uptight, inflexible. We will be drinking and having fun. I don't want it to cause grief between you and Kayla."

"And what were you going to do if I say. I would prefer Kayla not go?"

She grimaced, "I hoped you wouldn't say that. I hoped you guys might be on solid enough ground that you would trust her."

"I do trust her, you, not so much, but I trust Kayla. If she wants to go, then she can go."

Candice swung off the door frame, leaned in and kissed me. "Thank you, spunky."

As she pulled back, she smiled, leaned forward and this time when she kissed me, it wasn't a sweet friendly kiss. Her tongue slithered licentiously into my mouth. It swirled, dancing playfully with mine. Her hand rifled through my hair, her boobs pressing on my shoulder. My heart stopped and she let it go on and on, her succulent lips nibbling and nuzzling mine, her tongue probing, assaulting.

When she stood up I was left gasping and she panted. "Wow, you are a great kisser. I always liked that about you."

She turned and walked out, leaving me gulping in air, trying to breathe. "Jesus," I moaned under my breath.

Kayla came home later and I already had the dinner on the table. She gave me a luxurious scintillating kiss. "Wow, dinner smells good."

As we ate, she asked, "Did Candice give you my message?"

I nodded, "Yeah, and she mentioned about the hen's party."

"Oh right. What did you say?"

"What could I say? It's already decided by the sounds of it."

"No, Luke it's not. I told her I wasn't sure how you would feel about it. I said if you weren't okay, then we would have to do something else."

"Kayla, it's fine. I trust you. There's no problem."

She smiled and came and sat on my lap. "Thank you, sweets. I love you."

While she sat on my knee, I cringed, the guilt weighing me down. "Kayla, there's something I need to tell you."

She leaned back a little. "Sounds ominous."

"Candice kissed me, I'm sorry. I should have pushed her away."

"What? When did this happen?"

"Tonight when she came around. I'm sorry."

"It was a real kiss, not just a kiss?"

"If it was one of her usual flirty things I wouldn't mention it. This was a full on passionate kiss."

Kayla leaned back in and kissed me again. Hers, putting Candice's effort to shame. It was full of desire and all the passion, but it carried love and affection.

Afterwards, she giggled. "It's fine, sweets. I'm not angry. At least you told me."

"Oh my god, it was a test or some stupid game wasn't it?"

"Yes, sorry babes. We were playing. Candice said she could get you to kiss her."

"That's not what happened. She kissed me. I just didn't push her away."

"Luke, I don't care. I am happy you both get on so well. An occasional kiss, is not the end of the world."

'Yeah, but it wasn't right. I would be angry if I caught you kissing some other guy the way she kissed me."

"You and I are different. If it had been somebody else, and it was you kissing her, then maybe I would be upset."

"Wow, you are a whole lot more forgiving than me."

She giggled. "Oh yeah, I know that, babes. God, I know that."

In the lead up to the hen's party, Kayla home from work one day and she seemed a bit uncomfortable. She flitted around the house like she had something she wanted to say. It was obviously making her uncomfortable. That in turn made me squirm. I didn't like the images my mind threw up as possibilities. It was after dinner I walked past the office. She was seated at my desk with the door pushed shut, but not latched. She was on the phone, and although I could hear only her side of the conversation, I heard enough to make me even more uncomfortable.

"No, I haven't asked him yet."

Some giggling.

"No, god no, why are you being so mean."

More giggling.

"No, He's not going to go for it, you know it as well as I do, what's more. He will get angry with me."

That was enough, I walked away thinking the worst.

It was as we got ready for bed that she asked. "Luke, Rogan is having his stag party this weekend. He asked if you wanted to go."

"What? That's why you've been tip toeing around, No, I don't want to go, but thanks for asking." I climbed into bed. She snuggled up beside me. "Babe, they're flying down to Cabo in his private jet."

"Ha, his private jet, huh. What was that like?"

She flinched a little. The one thing we had never talked about were the details of that dreaded night. "It was nice, you would love it. Full bar, comfy seats. It's great." Her smile twitched.

"So did you join the mile high club?"

Her body went taut, and although she was snuggled behind me, I heard her sharp intake of breath. There was no answer. "I'll take that as a yes, shall I?"

"Luke..."

"Good fuck was it? Did you get a badge?"

"Luke, this isn't helpful. I'm sorry I mentioned it."

"No, come on, I want to know. Now that we're talking about this. Did you do it on that damn plane?" I sat up and turned to face her. I felt her sit up beside me. "I don't want to talk about this. It's not going to help anything. Why do you want to know?"

"I want to know."

I watched in the dark as her face took on a determined set. "Okay, you want to know. Yes, we had sex on his plane. Happy now?"

"Did you use condoms?"

"Yes, of course we did, I'm not an idiot."

Did you have sex again down there?"

"Yes we did." I heard the waver in her voice, and little sniffles as she tried to wipe away tears.

"Was it good?"

What? Come on Luke, why are we dragging up all this shit?"

"It was your idea. Now I want to know. Was he good in bed? Did you come?"

She turned and shoved me hard, her fist pummelling my shoulder. "You want to know?" she snarled. "All right then. Yes, he was good. I sucked his cock in the plane. He ate my pussy and he made me come. He was a great lover."

I heard her break down and her sobs flooded her arms as she tried to wipe away the torrent. "Is that what you wanted to hear?"

Her body shuddered as she cried. I sat staring into the darkness, feeling like a total ass. I couldn't speak, my mouth dried up and I lay back down, pulling the blankets up, I rolled to the very edge of the bed.

She climbed out of bed and walked into the bathroom to try and regather her senses.

I tried to hold back the tears I felt building. Thankfully, by the time she was back climbing into bed, I had control. She climbed in, and like me, rolled to the very edge of the bed and even although her breathing was even, I knew she wasn't asleep. We lay like that for what felt like hours. When the alarm went off, I felt like I had barely closed my eyes.

Climbing out of bed I noticed Kayla was already gone. I decided to go into my offices. It had been a few days since I had been in.

It was nearly lunchtime when my phone rang, and I answered without thinking. "You stupid fucking dick," Candice's voice screamed at me. "What the fuck were you thinking? What the fuck would you do that. Jesus, Luke, you're a fucking idiot, a childish fucking idiot."

"Yeah, well fuck you too, bitch. Lets not forget that was your fucking fault."

"God damn it, Luke, I thought you were past all that shit."

"So did I, turns out I'm not. She started going on about me going on fucking dick wads stag party, and when she brought up about his private jet. It all came out and I couldn't hold it in."

"Luke, Kayla's been bawling all morning. You need to come and apologise, right now."

"What for?"

"For being a horse's ass, that's what for. For heavens sake. What does it matter what happened between her and Rogan? What the hell difference does it make? Okay, they had sex. Fucked, call it what you want. He's a good lover, kind and considerate. That means she had fun. For the love of god, would you prefer she hated it?"

"Yeah, actually that might have been easier to hear."

"Luke, you and I had sex, I enjoyed it, I know you enjoyed it. Wouldn't you like to know that Kayla's experience was the same?"

I couldn't answer. Yeah, okay I was jealous, and I hated the fact the Rogan was able to rock her world. He had the whole damn planet at his finger tips. You would think at least he could have sucked at that."

"Are you listening to me, Luke?"

"Yeah, I hear ya. I'll come down and take her to lunch."

"Good, and don't fuck it up."

Walking into her shop I saw her behind the counter, and seeing her smiling and talking to a customer made me remember why I loved her. She was that way with everybody. She could see the good in everything. She never complained, she never talked shit about anybody, and god help anybody she heard say a bad thing about me.

Our eyes met as I walked towards the counter, and I saw her happy smiling face sink like the Titanic. "What do you want, Luke?"

"I want to say sorry. Last night I was a jerk. Yes, I was jealous, and I shouldn't have said all that shit. I said I forgive you, and I need to put that into practice. I'm truly sorry."

She smiled, it was thin, and her bottom lip trembled. "Thank you for saying that, but that hurt last night. I mean really hurt. I think it hurt because I should never have done it. I made a huge mistake, and I keep trying to forget it, and just when I think we are in a good space, boom, something happens, and we're right back at the start. I'm sorry, Luke."

"Could we go somewhere for lunch?" I asked.

We ended up at our favourite cafe overlooking the Pacific. We had one of those fabulous moments. A moment where we didn't actually talk, we just basked in having her sit beside me, I absorbed her. We smiled a lot, we laughed for no reason. When I dropped her off back at her shop, we kissed. It was the kiss that stopped time. Her mouth tasted of the sweet custard tart she had for desert, her tongue played and danced with mine.

I'm not sure if my heart did actually stop, but it sure felt like it.

She never did ask me again if I wanted to go with Rogan. They went off on their hen's party. I got videos and endless phone calls, drunken silly stupid calls. The last one was at four in the morning.

I kept working towards finalising my designs and trying to get the logic to stick.

The lead up to the wedding was uncomfortable. Listening to Candice and Kayla arranging seating charts, it became obvious that we were going to be seated with them at the head table. No amount of complaining would make them change their minds.

The wedding went off without a hitch. Candice looked spectacular. Kayla looked exquisite. It wasn't until we arrived at the reception that things got awkward. Of course, there was no escaping Rogan. Even with the million and a half people jammed into the convention centre. He seemed to be everywhere I went.

I did my best to ignore him, but it proved impossible. We sat at their table, thankfully we were separated by Candice. It meant I didn't have to deal with him.

It was when the dancing started that things got awkward. Candice asked me to dance, and I said no. Kayla was sitting beside me and overheard. "Luke, don't be an asshole. It's her wedding, you are her friend. Dance with her."

I leaned in close and said. "Nope, I'm saving all my dances for you, babe."

"If you're worried I'll dance with Rogan, I promise you I haven't hardly even spoken to him. Please dance with her."

Candice slipped easily into my arms and we circulated around amongst the dancing guests. She nestled in close and rested her head on my chest. "Hmmmm, you're a smooth mover, Luke."

"Bullshit, I'm a terrible dancer."

She giggled. "Yes you are, but you're my friend."

"Yes, we are friends, and I'm glad to call you that."

As we danced she whispered, "God, I love that man. Look at him up there talking to all those men. He is so confident and has so much belief in himself."

I sighed, "Yeah, he's a cocky bastard all right."

"No, you completely misunderstood what I was saying."

"Yeah, well, come on then, educate me."

She sucked in a big breath. "Okay, here goes. Look at that group of men he's standing with, laughing, joking. Do you see them?"

"Uh-huh," I replied, confused at where she was going."

"Would you be shocked if I told you, I had sex with every single one of those men, at one time or another, and Rogan knows it."

I didn't say anything, she let that sink in before she added. "That's the difference between you and him. He has complete belief in himself. He's comfortable knowing I slept with those men, and he doesn't care. You, can't even look him in the eye. Christ I thought you were going to melt when he offered to shake your hand, and why? Because he slept with your wife."

"There's a bit of difference Candice. He knew what you were doing and accepted it. I didn't."

"Luke, I'm not trying to insult you. I'm just saying you could learn something from him. If you had the same belief in yourself, nothing else would matter. I know that Kayla and Rogan would like to dance, they're friends. The only reason they haven't talked much in the last six months is you are so insecure, you won't let them. That's a sign of a weak man Luke."

Her word stung, and I looked up at the table. Kayla sat by herself, but there were furtive glances between the two. Kayla, for her part, just chatted with the other guests.

Fuck Candice and her cheap shitty philosophy. It did hurt though thinking that she thought so little of me. Maybe she was right. I was intimidated by him, I felt he was just a lucky cocky bastard. He managed to manipulate people. Why they couldn't see it amazed me. People like the CEO from Digi, he had been screwed over by Rogan, and yet here they were chatting like long lost buddies. Fuck, were they that superficial and that good as actors?

With a final kiss I said, "Let's go back, shall we."

Walking back to the table, she leaned against me, lean in and kissed me. "We could dance later when the lights go out."