Heart and Sunlight Ch. 03

"Alright, spill the beans. What happened last night?"

Alicia peppers me with questions as soon as I walk in the door of her apartment above the cafe, a bottle of wine in hand. I grin bashfully, and Alicia lets out an exaggerated gasp. "Oh my god. You did it! You and Daza, I'm so happy," she gushes, and pours two very generous glasses of wine. "Come over here and tell me every detail."

I relay the events of last night, Alicia grinning the whole time. "Damn, look at you finally getting some," she teases.

"They wanted to take it slow," I say. "But seriously, I was about to lose it."

We talk, not only about Daza but also about the latest goings-on in Alicia's cafe and my work at wind farm operations. The windy season is starting, and handling the turbines is getting more stressful every day--it happens every spring. "It looks like this season is going to be particularly bad," I say. "The model predictions are scary."

"Yeah," says Alicia. "I've read about it. The winter was so nice. I always get stressed when summer comes."

"Me too," I say. Carbon emissions may have been stopped a few decades ago, but climate change was already set in motion. It'll get worse before it gets better. "But hey, we have each other and our community to rely on. We'll all be alright."

Alicia smiles. "Of course." She takes another swig of wine--we're on our third glass now--and looks away. "We do have each other."

"Hey, what's wrong?" I ask gently, putting my arm around her shoulder.

She smiles. "No, nothing. Just the weather is all."

I give her a long look. "I know that face. There's something else."

She looks down and doesn't say anything. I keep my arm around her shoulder and keep her company in silence for a moment.

Then she starts to speak in a soft voice, still looking down. "You know me so well, Mel. It's not really about the weather. To be honest...look, don't take this the wrong way. I'm so happy that you're getting with Daza. But to tell you the truth..." she sighed. "I'm a tiny bit jealous."

"Jealous? Hey, I'm not going to get a partner and then totally ditch you! You're one of my oldest friends. You'll always come first."

She smiles. "You're the sweetest. But that's not really what I meant." She looks up and meets my eyes. "I meant I'm...jealous."

We stare at each other for a minute. At first, I'm not sure what she means. Then, it slowly starts to dawn on me. "Wait. Alicia, do you...like me?"

She doesn't respond, but keeps looking into my eyes.

I'm gaping like a fish. "But...I...really?" I'm completely unable to process this information.

"I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have said anything. Especially after you finally asked Daza. God, I must be drunk. I'm sorry, I love you as a friend, and I don't want to make this weird. Can you forget I said anything?"

I think back on all our years of friendship, how close we've grown, and how Alicia always said no one was ever good enough for her get serious with. "How long have you liked me?"

"No, just forget it. I'm sorry. Never mind."

"No, Alicia, it's okay. It's not something you should have to hide, especially not from me. We're best friends, and I'm always there for you, no matter what it is. I want to talk through this. Have you liked me for a while? How come you never told me?"

"It's complicated. I always loved you as a friend, but I've also had these other feelings about you for...a few years now. But I didn't want to ruin what we had. I would never want to lose you as a friend."

"Alicia. I'm so, so sorry you felt like you had to hide this. I've never thought of you in a romantic way, probably because we've just always been friends since we were kids. But obviously you are a brilliant, wonderful human. Not to mention drop-dead gorgeous," I say. "You mean so much to me. Maybe it's the alcohol talking, but...I don't think it is. Do you want to explore this?"

Alicia looks at me. "But you're with Daza now!"

I shake my head. "That's not a problem. Daza is poly. They told me they would be not just okay, but happy, if I had other partners."

My head feels light. Between the three glasses of wine and the sudden revelation from Alicia, I feel like I'm floating. But at the same time, I feel warm inside. Alicia and I? Why have I never though about that before? Why does it suddenly seem like the most natural thing in the world?

"Mel...I don't want to pressure you into anything. I don't want to risk our friendship."

"No. Alicia, I want to try this. It can be low-key. No pressure. Just an experiment, and if it doesn't work, no hard feelings. Really. I...I think we should try it."

My arm is still on her shoulder, and I feel how tense she is as she stares back at me with her big hazel eyes. Then, before I know what's happening, her lips are on mine. Or did I initiate the kiss? I'm not sure. We kiss lightly, softly. She puts her arm around me and turns to face me. "Thank you for trying this," she whispers.

"Of course."

"Tell me if you want to stop."

"You too."

She kisses me more, running her hand through my hair, then she puts her other hand on my thigh. The day was warm, and I'm wearing loose shorts and a light blouse. Her hand is cool, and she slowly caresses my leg, feeling the soft hairs that I never shave.

Alicia is much more experienced than I am. While I've had more crushes on femmes than I can count, my only previous relationship has been with a man. "You know, I've never actually had sex with a woman before," I whisper. "So you're going to need to help me out a little."

She smiles and gets up to lead me to the bed. "I know, honey. Let me show you."

We've seen each other naked dozens of times before, so it's nothing new to shed our clothes. Of course, this time it feels different. Her bedroom window is open, and I feel the warm draft on my skin. We sit next to each other on the bed and kiss more, running our hands over every inch of each other. I feel my nipples tighten under her touch. I take her breasts in my hands, feeling the weight and fullness of them, so unlike my own. Her nipples are dark, and I take one in my mouth and gently suck, licking the point gently, feeling its shape with my tongue. She lets out a small moan and then laughed. "It sure doesn't seem like you don't know what you're doing."

I move my mouth to the other nipple, and she runs her fingertips over the skin of my back, my arms, my thighs, leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake. I feel myself becoming aroused, my heart beating hard. I turn around and straddle her, pressing my whole body against her and kissing her again.

"Sit back and relax. Let me show you first. Start with something easy." Alicia gently pushes me onto the bed so I'm sitting against the headboard and straddles me across one leg. Her breasts are hanging down in front of me, and it's hard for me to focus on anything else, until she starts slowly stroking my inner thigh with her fingers, moving in slow circles, starting at my knee and moving farther and farther up. I arch my back almost involuntarily. Her touch is delicious. I reach down and do the same to her, copying her moves. Her legs are smooth to the touch, perfectly shaven, and the dark patch of pubic hair is neat and trimmed short.

"You're a natural at this," she says.

"You're making it easy," I smile back.

"I want your first time to be good. Let me work on you first."

Slowly, she moves her fingers higher and higher. As she reaches between my legs, I gasp and my eyes flutter shut. Her fingers, so delicate, reach gently into my vagina, feeling the welcoming wetness. Then, light as a feather, she starts to trace small circles over my clit, so lightly that she's barely there, yet I can feel every move as if it were electric. At the same time, she closes her hot mouth over my nipple. I tangle my fingers in her hair.

"How does this feel?"

"Amazing," I whisper. "Alicia, you are amazing."

"So are you," she replies. She keeps making circles around my clit, with a steady, light touch. Then, still straddling my leg, she lowers herself down and starts slowly grinding against my thigh. She is impossibly hot and so, so wet. "How is that for you?"

I let out a moan in response and hold her close. She slides her vulva back and forth against my thigh and increases the pressure of her circles slightly. My every nerve is firing. She kisses me again, her soft lips sucking on mine, then our tongues finding each other. I feel myself losing control, and I moan again. "Oh god, Alicia, I'm going to come."

She grinds a little faster, and I hear her breathing grow heavier as well. "Honestly, I am too. You're so incredibly hot."

I hold her breasts in both hands, fondling both nipples and feeling how hard they are under my fingers. They bounce slightly each time she slides on my leg. I feel the intense heat from her vagina and the hard, excited nub of her clit sliding back and forth on my thigh. I start to climax, every inch of me tingling, ready to burst. She sucks on my nipple again, and that pushes me over the edge, waves of pleasure washing over my body as I writhe and let out a long moan, all control over my body reliquished. I'm frozen, unable to move as the aftershocks rumble though my muscles. Alicia continues grinding, breasts swinging, and suddenly her back arches as she orgasms. She cries out, shuddering, then falls to the bed beside me, clinging to me in a tight embrace.

I roll over and hold her in my arms, kissing her forehead. "Alicia, that was amazing," I say breathlessly.

She hugs me closer and plants a lazy kiss on my collarbone. "Did you like it?" she whispers.

"So much," I say. My body is hypersensitive to her every touch.

"Sleep here tonight," she says. "Just like this."

I realize how drowsy I am from the wine and the warmth swirling in my belly. "Okay," I reply. She pulls the covers over us and I curl up against her, my face against her neck. It's not long before we're both asleep, wrapped in each other's arms.