Heavenly Cake

**Author's note: I wrote this for the Literotica 2022 April Fools Day Story Contest. Please vote if you enjoy it. I'm not great with comedy or April Fool's Day pranks, but I enjoy a writing challenge that involves deception and things going awry. This story is an interesting journey. It begins in the realm of high fantasy, quickly falls into the real world, then slowly develops into a young romance and a swift seduction. It explores innocence, reality, and morality in a compact adventure.**

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"They're all idiots," Cypress sighed.

Cypress, the god of love and fertility, gazed at the world with eyes more dazzling than iridescent jade. He had tousled caramel-colored hair highlighted with sunbeams. His well-defined torso was a picture of ethereal health. His skin glowed like dewy spring honey, and his simple pants looked to be spun from shimmering spring moss. Cypress was usually in a better mood, but the continuity of human ignorance was beginning to annoy him. As the world aged and modernized, it lost natural charm. Cypress had to work harder to encourage healthy sexual exploits. Humans thrived when their physical desires were met, but everything about modern life seemed to work against Cypress's plans. He was leaning on the lip of the scrying fountain in the ascended realm, observing the obscure spring rituals of the mortals. They sadly needed an intervention.

"What is the matter, brother?" Daphne queried as she joined Cypress by the fountain.

Daphne, the god of war and strategy, was a sight to behold in the presence of her sibling. Her skin was like the darkest midnight sky, and her eyes shined like stars on a limitless horizon. Her dark hair flowed like a moonlit river. She wore a low-cut gown spun from molten iron and copper. Her jewelry was a mix of every hard metal used in war. Her sensual frame and striking beauty demanded admiration and fear.

"The usual, sister. I create a dazzling, romantic atmosphere for the mortals every spring, but they keep making excuses not to enjoy it. They love their misery," he sighed in disappointment.

"Is it really that simple, brother?"

"No, but it should be."

Daphne laughed at her brother's mood. It was rare to find Cypress irritable.

"The Modern Age frustrates us all. Humans are corrupted by their filtered reality. Mortals go weeks without touching anything in nature. Mother earth heals their exhausted spirits, yet they eagerly destroy her. War isn't fun anymore since mortals can no longer discern their enemies from their heroes. Intelligent mortals see the sickness of rampant ignorance and are dispirited by it. It exhausts them. I know you see it too, brother. Perhaps it is time for a quickening. When was the last time you indulged yourself?"

Cypress grinned at Daphne's question. She knew how to encourage his mischief.

"Not since the age of Bastileborn. There was never a better time for the mortals. It was the most arousing millennium of my existence."

"What made it so exquisite?"

"True heroes found love and justice, and the villains suffered like they should. There was also a lot of great sex," he grinned.

"Ah, of course. I'm sure your mortal lover enjoyed that time as well. What was her name again?"

"Irena," Cypress whispered with a smile.

"Ah, yes. Beauty, innocence, virtue, and a fiery spirit. She was exquisite. I also have fond memories of that millennium. The wars were spectacular and defined by honor and valor. Could the Modern Age experience such things?"

"Not while fools are happy and the wise suffer. It isn't fair, sister. The virtuous and intelligent mortals keep the realm from collapsing in ignorance, and they suffer for it. They are more like gods among men. They escape into the sanctuaries of their minds for respite, and that is where I meet them. I share my greatest stories, and they are happy for a time, but the demands of reality always return. Death will be their true release, and that is simply depressing. How did the Modern Age become so utterly joyless?"

"Our demonic cousins have been working overtime this century."

"They surely can't take all the credit," Cypress sighed.

"No, but they convinced the mortals to see good in corrupted things. That's where the disease of unhappiness begins. Too many mortals value material possessions over the health and happiness of their neighbors, not realizing it degrades their own soul in return. It is truly an evil mindset."

"Perhaps we should cull the foolish mortals along with the wicked. They don't appreciate anything good, so why should they exist?"

"Cypress, you're usually not the first to suggest violence. Don't give the High Father a reason to destroy us. He has already reduced us to custodians and gardeners. Why is your wrath running as hot as mine lately?"

"It must be my lack of indulgence. I need a vacation... or maybe an orgy."

"I have a better idea. Would you like to be a fool for a few days? I know a spell that can dampen your omniscience, allowing you to experience the life of an uninhibited mortal. Ignorance is bliss, after all. Your powers will be limited but not gone. Mortals will sense that you are special, but they won't understand why. I can drop you anywhere in the mortal realm. Would you enjoy that?"

"My dear Daphne, you sound almost eager to banish me. I'm sure this will be highly entertaining for you."

"It will," she grinned.

"Fine. I hope I don't regret this. Please, sister, strike me dumb."

"As you wish, brother."

With a snap of her burnished fingers, Daphne's spell pierced Cypress's mind, trapping his power and omniscience inside a cage of foolishness. With a wave of her hand, she cast her brother out of the ascended realm. He fell to the earth unnoticed, like reflected light on a raindrop. Daphne smiled as she leaned on the lip of the scrying fountain, waiting for her brother to awake as a mortal.

"Let the Spring of Lust begin," she chuckled.

Meanwhile, down on the earth, a young woman contemplates her future.

"Why do I have to have a degree to become a nun?" Anna muttered.

She was sitting by the duck pond in the university park, reading a religious pamphlet. Anna's parents encouraged her to continue her education and her devotion to the church. Her father suggested looking into joining a nunnery. Her main goal was to please her parents and God. She loved helping people. She dreamed of becoming a nurse, but blood made her squeamish. She had completed two years of nursing school before realizing she couldn't handle it. The freshman lab simulations still gave her nightmares. Being a nun seemed like a virtuous fallback, but she couldn't help wondering if there was more to life than religious devotion. Would God be disappointed with her if she became an artist? Her parents would. Anna lived a sheltered life. Her one and only friend, Becky, was just like her. They were leaders in their weekly Bible study and prayer group. It was Becky's turn to bring their lunch to the park bench, but she was running late. Anna sighed and opened her notebook to work on an English paper she had been putting off. She failed to notice someone taking a seat on the opposite end of the bench.

"Excuse me, miss. Can you help me?" whispered a charming male voice.

Anna blinked in surprise and looked to her left. She met the most enchanting green eyes she had ever seen. They were a dramatic distraction from the rest of his half-naked form. The man was stunning and only wearing pants. Anna immediately assumed he was a fashion model. He looked out of place in the dull park.

"Uh, yes. What do you need help with?"

Anna couldn't figure out what his green pants were made of. They shimmered like satin, but she couldn't see any threads.

"I don't know where I am... or who I am... and my head hurts," he mumbled as he touched the back of his head.

Anna gasped when she saw blood on his neck. It was dripping out of his shiny caramel-colored hair. She clutched at the bench with her stomach churning.

"I, uh, think you hit your head, sir," she gulped, trying not to vomit.

"Are you okay, miss?" he asked in concern.

"I'm not good with blood. Seeing it makes me sick."

"I'm sorry. Why is that?" he asked curiously.

"I don't know. It just does."

"That's odd," he mused as he looked at the blood on his fingers. "It's a beautiful color, and it sustains life, but it's not good to drink," he chuckled.

Anna's stomach churned more after that observation.

"Please don't say things like that," she groaned.

"I'm sorry. I want you to feel better."

The moment those words left his mouth, Anna's nausea disappeared. She took a deep breath and straightened up. She felt perfectly fine. She looked at the strange, flawless man in bewilderment. He was still admiring the blood on his fingers as it continued to drip down his neck.

"You're seriously hurt. Let me see."

Anna scooted over to examine the gash on the back of his head. As she leaned closer, the scent of his skin invaded her nostrils. It was the most delicious and arousing smell she had ever experienced. It was incredibly distracting. She shook her head and rubbed her eyes, trying to regain her focus. The man needed medical attention, and by some miracle, she could help him without vomiting.

"You definitely hit your head. There's a bump rising under your hair. We should get you to the school clinic. Where are your shoes?"

Anna helped the man across the street and into the university medical clinic. The staff hurried him into an examination room and cleaned up his cut. They x-rayed his skull to check for fractures, but the images came out overexposed. The man seemed physically fine, except for the knot on his head and his lack of memory. The nurse left him and Anna alone in the examination room to make some calls to see if anyone had reported an accident or a missing person.

"Thank you for helping me, Anna. You're very kind and beautiful," the man said.

Anna looked at him in surprise and blushed. No man had ever called her beautiful before.

"Thank you. Um, anything coming back to you yet? Your name or where you live?"

"Nothing. I would like a name, though. Something that suits me. Names are important. Do you know a good name for me?"

"Uh, something that suits you... Paris, maybe? Paris was known for his outstanding beauty and intelligence in Greek mythology."

"Really? You think I'm beautiful, Anna?" he asked with a smile.

She blushed and nodded.

"Then I am Paris."

"Okay... hello, Paris. It's lovely to meet you," she smiled.

"Thank you. It's lovely to me you too, Anna. Why are we still in this cold room?"

"You're injured. You said you needed help."

"My injury isn't that bad. I feel better now that I have a name. I believe food will also improve my outlook. I would like to dine with you, Anna. Where can we find food?"

"The dining hall, but they won't let you in without shoes or a shirt."

"Oh, I'm under-dressed. Where do I find clothes?"

"The university gift shop can help with that."

Anna left Paris on a bench in front of the gift shop as she collected a school uniform for him. She assumed he was a student. She had convinced herself that he was doing gymnastics in the park when he fell and hit his head on a rock. Given enough time, his memories would come back, or someone that knew him would find him. She texted Becky to let her know she was showing a confused student around for the next hour and not to expect her in class.

Paris was pleased with his new white button-down shirt and shiny black loafers. Anna thought his dark green pants looked out of place, but they didn't look bad. She knew people would be too distracted by his large emerald eyes, sun-kissed caramel locks, and angelic face to notice his pants.

Paris constantly caught the attention of people around him as he questioned Anna about every item on the student lunch buffet. He also spoke to everyone around him so he could learn their names. He noticed a young man's insulin pump and spent five minutes talking to him about it. Twenty minutes later, Paris finally made his lunch selections. Anna was red with blush as they carried their trays to a corner table and sat down. She wasn't used to dealing with someone that apparently existed to draw attention.

"Paris, why did you only pick desserts?" she asked when she finally noticed the cakes, ice cream, and pies on his tray.

"Dalton said they taste the best, but he can't eat them because of his insulin. I told him I would eat them in his honor," he explained.

Anna watched as Paris pinched a piece of carrot cake off his plate with his fingers and shoved it in his mouth. His eyes widened as he chewed it, then he let out an embarrassingly loud groan.

"By the High Father... it's orgasmic!" he grinned and took another bite.

Anna sank lower in her chair as all eyes turned towards their table. Anna's college was strict and reserved when it came to behavior and academics. Students rarely acted out to draw attention. Girls were giggling, and boys were laughing as they watched Paris loudly enjoying his cake.

"Anna, you have to try this," Paris said and offered her a bite.

His fingers were covered in cream cheese frosting.

"No, thank you. I'm good."

"Don't be crazy, Anna. You have to try it. It was the last piece! It's heavenly!"

"Will you stop being loud if I try it?"

"Yes," he nodded.

She let out an annoyed sigh and quickly leaned forward. Paris grinned and stuck the cake into her mouth, but the frosting remained on his fingers.

"Darn, the best part stuck to me. You have to try the part on my finger. It's magical!"

Anna rolled her eyes, grabbed his wrist, and pulled his index finger into her mouth. She sucked the frosting off in one fell swoop before she sank back into her chair. Paris's eyes had widened as he looked between Anna and his clean finger. Anna gasped and clapped her hand over her mouth when she realized how inappropriate her actions were.

"Paris, I am so sorry. I shouldn't have done that," she said in humiliation.

"Why are you apologizing? That was incredibly hot. Will you do it again?"

"No!" she hissed.

He gave her a strange look, then he shrugged and continued eating. Anna stared at Paris in disbelief for a moment. She was beginning to suspect someone was playing a seriously big prank on her. That's when she remembered what day it was.

"Holy cow. I'm a complete idiot. Did Becky put you up to this? Is that why she never showed up at the park?"

"What are you talking about? Who's Becky?" Paris asked as he shoved some ice cream into his mouth.

He let out another loud groan as he enjoyed it.

"This is ridiculous. I'm not going to be your April fool anymore. I've wasted enough time and money on you this morning. Good day!" she huffed.

Paris watched in confusion as Anna collected her tray and stood to leave. He was about to object, but a horrible headache stopped him. He ate his ice cream too fast. Anna rolled her eyes as he leaned on the table with his palm pressed against his forehead.

"Enjoy your brain freeze," she sighed.

Anna headed for the exit while Paris was incapacitated, but a cry from across the room distracted her. Thankfully, it wasn't Paris acting like a fool again. A student had collapsed. A crowd of students was gathering around him. Anna knew first aid, thanks to her early nurse training, so she rushed across the room to help. Paris had recovered his senses by that point and looked towards the commotion. He noticed a familiar contraption on the fallen student's belt and sprang to his feet in alarm.

"Dalton!" he gasped and rushed across the room.

Paris and Anna pushed through the crowd and knelt beside the fallen young man.

"Dalton! Can you hear me?" Paris asked as he slapped his cheeks.

"Give him some space, Paris. The light on his insulin pump is flashing red. He needs a doctor. Someone call emergency services!" Anna yelled as she began searching for a medical alert bracelet.

"He was fine a minute ago. What happened?" Paris demanded.

"He's diabetic. It's a tricky illness. He's barely breathing, and his glucagon box is empty. Does anyone have emergency glucagon?" Anna yelled.

"I have some in my car!" a young woman yelled before she dashed from the cafeteria.

"Oh God, there's nothing we can do but wait. Please, God, don't let him die," Anna whispered as she clutched at her cross pendant.

"He's dying?" Paris gasped. "No, Dalton, I want you to be healthy and live! You introduced me to cake!" he cried and pulled the young man into his arms.

Paris wept as he hugged Dalton and rocked him back and forth. He was acting like he had just lost a brother. Suddenly, Dalton opened his eyes and took a deep breath. He looked around in confusion as he slowly returned Paris's hug, wondering why a stranger was hugging him on the floor. Anna gasped and clapped her hand over her mouth.

"Paris? Are you okay?" Dalton asked in confusion.

Paris gasped and straightened up. Dalton smiled at his shocked expression.

"Dalton! You're not dying now?"

"Uh, I guess not," he shrugged.

"Thank the High Father!" Paris laughed and kissed Dalton on the mouth.

Dalton quickly shoved him back.

"Dude, chill. No kissing in the cafeteria," he gulped.

"Well, that's a silly rule, but I will oblige."

"Dalton, check your pump. You passed out for some reason," Anna said.

"Oh... um, that's strange. It says my blood sugar is normal," he shrugged.

"Good," Paris smiled.

Anna looked at Paris in disbelief for a moment. Two miraculous events had occurred around him that morning. She was magically cured of her blood revulsion, and Dalton was instantly brought back from a medical emergency. Something strange was going on.

After lunch, Anna returned to the park with Paris to look for clues. Becky finally texted her back. She had been mentoring at the chapel all morning. A woman in their prayer group announced she was leaving the church for good, and it was all hands on deck. Anna agreed they would meet up at the dining hall later since Becky couldn't skip her afternoon classes.

"Okay, Becky is fine. Let's see if there's a blood trail to follow. Do you remember anything about the park, Paris?"

"I... remember seeing you. Everything else is blank."

They searched the park and found nothing. They returned to the bench and sat for an hour, talking and waiting. Anna hoped one of Paris's friends would come looking for him, but no one ever showed up.

"Paris, any memories coming back yet?"

"None," he sighed as he plucked a bright yellow dandelion from the grass.

Anna watched as he admired the little flower. He carefully traced the sunny petals with his fingertip, watching them spring back into a circle.

"Such a brilliant design," he grinned.

"You believe the world was designed?" Anna asked curiously.

"I know it was."

She stared at him in surprise for a moment. That was a bold statement from a man that couldn't remember his name.

"Paris, you don't even know how you got to the park. How do you know the world was designed?"

"All things were designed, but not in the way an artist paints a canvas or how an engineer builds a bridge. The infinite pulse of reality is beyond mortal comprehension. Humans can barely conceptualize reality's reflection in their simple minds. The majestic magnitude of infinite reality can only be experienced by the Whole. A nail in the floor of a cathedral cannot prove the cathedral exists. The nail is obviously a part of something bigger, but the cathedral is beyond the nail's comprehension," he grinned.

Goosebumps crept over Anna's skin as Paris spoke with absolute confidence. He sounded logical and insane.

"Are you talking about the nature of reality? Are you in seminary or studying astrophysics?"