Heels and Horses

"I like how you taste," I winked at him, I kept on rubbing.

I would always remember the day a man made me cum in my panties.

*

We lay on the bed, it was late afternoon, I didn't know what time Lyla was coming home and I didn't really care. We were listening to music, I started playing with his hard manhood again, just rubbing it, just seeing how my fingers affected him.

"Roman?"

"Mmm."

"My wife, she loves horses,"

He laughed, "I know. So do Tara and Greg."

"No, I mean she loves them. When she rides them she loves them somehow, I don't really know the logistics of it. Even brushing them and smelling their musk. I don't know, I don't ask, that's her secret. I wish she wasn't so interested in mine."

He moved up he kissed my hair. "She gets excited from them?"

"Mmm, she always did, even when she was young. She didn't tell me this until we were married for almost a year. I didn't really care, I also didn't really understand. I told her I was a crossdresser before we even got married."

He pulled me up, I leaned on his naked body, he kissed me again. "Well, maybe you are more of an adult than you realize. You did the right thing, she was keeping a secret from you."

I kissed him hard, I was loving having a man enjoy me and telling me I did the right thing.

"I think I am going to keep you a secret, just for a little while, is that okay?"

"It is."

And I felt his tongue in me again, it was nice, I was enjoying the intimacy with someone, with a man. I had one leg over him and an arm on his chest. I didn't want him to leave me. I didn't want him to disappear. I was clutching him tightly as we fell asleep.

*

The music was low, when we heard the door, Lyla was home, we were awake, I wanted to suck Roman's cock again, it was all I could think about. I was actually horny, I was getting excited just being near him. He got up and went into the bathroom. Slowly closing the door.

The light went on, "You're still up?"

She stepped over my clothes on the floor, she didn't even look at them. She had a far away glassy look in her eyes. I hated that look. She smelled like a stable, but the smell I could deal with, I was used to it. She sat on the bed, she lay down on my legs again. I covered my new boobs, I covered the temporary ink on my chest. I thought I was going to be so forthcoming with my new changes, my new sexuality, but I didn't even want to get started, I didn't want to even bring it up.

"One more day, god, what a fantastic vacation. Thank you so much for letting me have this. I owe you another one."

I watched her, I was hoping she didn't fall asleep on me. "Well, maybe I could dress up more in Pearl River."

She sat up. "No, you know what my father said. You shouldn't be dressing up at all."

I squinted my eyes, did she not know me? I had to tell her, had to get something off of my chest. Knowing Roman was still in the room with me, still with my scent on him, was giving me the support that I needed. "Oh, I was thinking, I decided I'm not going to see your father anymore." I clutched the covers to me, I felt exposed. The look she gave me made me feel I shouldn't have said anything.

"What the fuck, why? He is the most respected psychiatrist in town, he knows ALL about you, he knows ALL about what you do, and he even understands about us. You are still going to him. I am not even going to discuss it."

"He gives me pills and he doesn't like me. The last time I went, he called me a sissy and said I was too deviant to even be gay. That's not a psychiatrist, that's a jerk. I don't even know what he means."

"Ugh! You, are going." She walked back to her room and slammed the door. She couldn't even stay with me, she would be dreaming of horses, telling her father she was a happily married woman to a deviant sissy. I got up and locked the door. I walked into the bathroom, Roman was sitting on the tub.

"Did you hear any of that? I'm not going to him anymore, do you agree with me? Or am I not thinking correctly."

"That therapist, the doctor is her father?"

"Mmm."

"Did you know I'm a Doctor?"

"Really? You never said."

He kissed my forehead, "We have time to get to know each other." He ran his fingers through my hair. "You know what, I will go with you to see him, I will punch him in the mouth, I will make a scene. He's an asshole, and I think you always knew it."

"I once told Lyla that there were so many crossdressers, drag queens, whatever, in this world. I could just throw a high heel out of the window and hit one. I wouldn't even have to try. She said I didn't know anything." I held him close. "Then I said I could throw a million horses and not hit anyone like her." I looked at him, "I wasn't being mean, but she cursed me anyway and went to her parents' house. Her father hated me even more after that."

We stood up and he held me, I wasn't wearing my heels and I felt so small. He kissed the side of my hair, my earring.

"Well, when you are ready I will go with you, We could tell him together, we could throw a horse at him."

"We could. I don't think I ever want to see him again. Maybe we could come up with a plan." I looked up at him, I shook my head.

I was looking into his brown eyes. I started to realize I liked him, I liked that he wanted to help, I liked that he couldn't keep his fingers out of my hair. "Roman, I'm not ready to make love just yet, we have only known each other for a short time." I put my cheek against his chest, I closed my eyes, "I can't believe it was Monday, it feels so much longer. I want to do something else, I want to make you cum again." He hugged me, he put me against the door, he made me stand on the little stool for entering the tub. His cock was hard, it was throbbing, so was mine, but mine was well hidden, it was pointing to the floor hidden in my cotton panties. I wanted to share some more intimacy, I wanted to forget about Lyla and her father.

He moved in front of me pressing me against the bathroom door, we were almost the same height. His cock rubbed against my nylons, I had my hand around his neck, we started making out again. He took his cock and put it under my crotch, under my panties.

"Maybe we can do this, I have always wanted to try it but I never date a woman who wears pantyhose."

I smiled, he called me a woman. I held on as he pushed, his hard cock rubbing underneath me. I moved my legs closer together and he started to moan, I gave him more friction. I felt his cock rub against the tip of my 'clit' it felt amazing, back and forth he was moving and I started slightly thrusting, we were rubbing and almost fucking, I wasn't losing my virginity. I wasn't ready yet.

"Oh my god, Roman, I love this, I love feeling you against me, under me." He kissed my neck again, he started playing with my breasts, he kissed the tattoo.

"I love these flowers. I love your body even more." I saw us in the mirror behind him, it looked like we were making love, it looked like his cock was entering me, entering my 'vagina.' I had my arms around his neck, I was enjoying this so much, I was getting very excited.

"I wish I met you instead of meeting Lyla. Life would actually be fun, I wouldn't have to make-believe anymore, I wouldn't have to try to keep my mind occupied. We could just be."

He had his two arms against the wall next to my head, he was thrusting under me, I had my hands on him, admiring his hard chest. He was kissing my forehead, my cheeks, each time he got closer to me.

"Mmm." I closed my eyes, I was thinking, he was being so wonderful, he was talking to me like I was an adult. He was seducing me, he was making love to me, I couldn't really ask for anything else. My eyes suddenly opened wide, He was moving faster, harder, I held onto his shoulders for support. He was shaking my body, I started to cum, I couldn't believe it, I was riding his cock, I was feeling like I was on a horse bouncing, bucking, and I came. I felt my panties getting wet, filling with cum. He kissed me more, he pulled me tightly to him, he pulled his cock out from under me and rubbed it against my 'pussy,' my belly. He pushed, he pushed hard, I held onto his shoulders, he was shaking me harder, my hair was messed up and in my face. He had a lipstick print on his shoulder, scratches from my nails on his neck and chest, and then he started to cum, he was moaning, he was making so much noise. I was hoping Lyla heard. I was hoping she could hear the door banging, the stool under me squeaking. I wanted her to hear me having sex, enjoying a man, enjoying being with someone who liked a 'woman' like me. I took his sperm on my belly and rubbed it more into my body, my panties. We pushed his cum between us.

I wanted someone to hit me with a high heel, I wanted everyone to know I was wearing women's lingerie, pantyhose. I wanted everyone to know I gave a man an incredible orgasm. It was his turn.

***

Roman stayed with me the rest of the night. I changed into my red nightgown, then I put on my red thigh highs and panties. Then got in bed with him. We snuggled, I got under the covers. He kissed my nose.

"Um, I guess I will just put on the whole outfit. Hold on."

I let him watch me get up, take off my nightgown, put my red bra on over my new breasts, I posed. I shook my boobs, he laughed. His fingers reached out to me.

"Barbara, I want you."

"Do you." I put back on the nightgown, stepped right into it, and positioned the straps over my shoulders, trying to hide the bra. I was having fun, I loved showing off to him, he had such a huge grin on his face. I slipped on my heels, they had an ankle strap so they wouldn't fall off, plus they were clean I never wore them outside. I did a little spin, his hands went out for me again and I jumped back under the covers.

"Comfortable now?"

"Mmm-mmm, very."

He held me. Were we planning on sleeping this night? I didn't know, I closed my eyes and thought about nights by myself, in my lingerie and heels. I would hear Lyla in her room, breathing, and giggling, I was happy she was in a good mood. I would go to a place in my imagination, go find something to latch on to, something to take my mind off of Lyla snorting, off of my life in Pearl River.

"Roman? I'm going to do something, something I always think about. Tell me if you like it, tell me if I am doing it right." He chuckled and got comfortable on his back. I put my nylon leg on him and moved against him. I was untucked and pressing against his leg, I was still hidden behind the silk of the nightie. I grabbed his cock, then I moved my face close to his, very close. I wanted to watch him, I wanted to feel him with my nose and cheeks. I wanted HIM to smell my perfume, study my eyebrows, my lips. I wanted him to remember me. I wanted him to miss me when he went back to PA on Saturday.

I kissed him lightly as I rolled his cock with my palm. Tickling his balls with my long nails. I watched his eyes for any movement, anything to show me how well or how badly I was doing. I felt I was studying for the final, practicing for the Olympics.

"That feels great, are you sure you've never done this before?" I could tell he was teasing, I knew he just liked me touching his cock. He would approve of almost anything.

"Heh, I didn't but maybe it's an inherent instinct. I imagine doing it all the time. I imagine feeling a body next to me at night. I don't really like sleeping alone." He laughed and lightly kissed me, I loved that Lyla was only a couple of feet away. I loved that the world was quiet and if she listened closely she would be able to hear us. At home, she would never be able to hear me. I was on the other side of the house, she moved me as far as possible away from her. I had a living room and a kitchen muffling our lonely orgasms.

I knew she was watching the video she took today, she always did, she will watch it tomorrow morning too. She will be thinking about it for the rest of her life.

I decided to lick Roman's lips, his cheek, I ran my nose along with his. "You are very handsome for an older man." I held a teasing smile.

"Am I? Well, you are very good looking for a little girl."

"Huh, I am not a little girl." I stopped playing with his cock. "Look at these hands, look at these nails. I am old enough to be your wife." I smiled and he kissed me, his tongue went into my mouth again. He held me tighter, I could tell he liked that I said that, maybe he realized he is having a better time with me than the woman who ran away. There was no way he was missing someone who disappeared to the UK, disappeared with another man. Either way, I was enjoying myself too, she did us both a favor, I would have to send her a bottle of something strong and expensive when this week was over. I would have to send her a thank-you note. I would have to tell her she was not welcomed back.

We kissed for a long time after that, slow just learning each other's moves. Learning to taste each other. "Roman, will you do something with me tomorrow? I wonder if Lyla is going out with Tara again."

"She probably will, if I call her. Tara and Greg love the company. They are quite busy, Lyla is probably helping in her own way."

"We have one more day together, we can spend it upstairs on 33 if you'd like. We can spend it at the movies, or a show, anywhere. Anywhere that doesn't include horses." I giggled.

"We could spend it in bed. We could use mine."

I started pumping his cock harder, he was watching me, he was ready to cum. He started breathing heavily, I felt his breath on my face, he came in my hand, I was quite proud of myself. He leaned further back as I took what was in my hand and licked it clean. I watched him giving me eye contact the whole time I swallowed. I started pushing against him, kissing his chest, his arms. I pressed my 'clit' against him. My lower half was moving, pushing pressing, I started to orgasm myself. My mouth was full of cum again.

He had a big smile on his face. He put his hand on my chin. "Thank you for being so good to me. Goodnight Barbara."

"Goodnight, Roman." I got up shut all the lights and jumped back into bed. Making lots of noise in my heels. "Ooh, what do we say if Lyla sees us in bed?"

"Um, we can tell her that we just slept together."

"No, let's tell her you got thrown out of your room and I am harboring a fugitive."

"Good idea."

***

The next morning we were listening to music.

'Honey honey, let me feel it, a-ha, honey honey

Honey honey, don't conceal it, a-ha, honey honey'

"I guess Lyla isn't going riding this morning." Roman was by her door, he was listening to her yell. She might have been throwing things, I didn't care I was singing.

'The way that you kiss good night

The way that you hold me tight'

Twenty minutes ago, we called her father. Dr. Kellen, we talked to him together. We told him I was not going to him anymore. I told him he was unprofessional, he was not sympathetic to me at all, and every pill or pamphlet he ever gave me I either threw out or I stuffed into one of the cushions in his waiting room.

"Wait, really?" Roman asked me while we were still on the phone.

"Mmm-mmm, the one for the blue chair, you know the one near the magazine rack, the bottom cushion, not the back one, I'm not crazy."

"Oh."

He called me a bunch of derogatory names, a lot of them, he knew way more than Roman and I. I checked a couple on Google to make sure they were appropriate. I guess that's what you learn when you are a psychiatrist. Then he hung up, I know he told Lyla. She was agitated, she wanted to know why the door was locked and I told her I didn't want to talk about it, I was on vacation. So she started yelling. She wasn't yelling at me.

*

This morning after Roman left, Lyla called me again, she wanted to come in the room, she said she calmed down, she wanted me to unlock the door.

"My father hates you, he told me."

"Really? That's kind of extreme, don't you think? I mean for a professional." It's funny but I didn't care at all.

"Stop! He said you would be good for me, we would be good for each other, now look at you, you look more like a woman than ever. You were supposed to stop all this. My father told me he had it all taken care of."

I didn't know what to say, she was making me lose focus again, she was making me go into my imagination, my past, but I wouldn't go. I wanted to see Roman, I wanted to go out, I wanted her to know I was living my life. If she wasn't going to live it with me I was going to find someone who would. I realized at that moment she wasn't good for me at all. I realized this is what she did at home, she went out, she left me every weekend, she left me alone.

I smiled at her anyway, to me, the incident with her father was over. "Do you want to go to a museum today, maybe a show? We can say goodbye to New York City, we can take everyone with us."

She turned away, she started tidying up my dresser, she was stalling. "I'm gonna go out with Tara again today, I called her, I think I need it." She wouldn't look up at me, not even through the mirror. "I'm sorry we really didn't do anything together this week."

"That's fine, you have fun, I guess I'll have mine."

"Don't be angry at me."

"I won't, it's okay, I understand." I smiled, I meant it. I was having more fun without her, but I would never say that. I would never be mean to her, and I would never tell her what to do.

"Don't leave the hotel. I am not looking for you anymore. If you disappear you can stay gone. If you are not going to therapy then I don't want to be responsible." She sounded suddenly annoyed, I thought she would be happier. She was going to be visiting her new friends and playing with the horses, that's what she always loved.

I let her walk away, I let her get closer to her door, "I won't disappear, I'm sorry about the other night, I just got lost, I don't do that anymore." I sat on the bed, she was making me tense.

"Stay in here, it's such a nice room. I always give you the bigger one."

"Well, I already made some plans, we are going to see Sonia from the salon and I met two men the other night, they are going to hang with us too. I want to be a little busy on my last day. We are definitely going to 33 later."

"Wait who, you and who else?"

"Roman, who do you think?"

"You seem to be hanging out with him an awful lot. You know Tara says Roman's ex was another Barbara."

"Really, that's weird. He didn't say..."

"She thought YOU were the one who was getting married to him. She thought YOU came back. That other one tended to leave and disappear too. She left so many times, twice they were going to get married. Now she is in the UK somewhere. Tara and Gary have never met her before."

"Mmm, I might ask, but I don't really care, at least I don't think I do."

"Still, it's weird." She was almost through the door, she was holding the doorknob, she was looking at me a little suspiciously. She was making me nervous again. "You look so different." I was standing near the bed, I was keeping my distance from her. I was wearing a simple blue dress, short, showing off my nylon legs. I was showing off my arms, it was sleeveless, I was hiding my three flowers. I was also hiding my hoops in my hair. I suddenly couldn't wait until she left. I didn't want her to ruin my last day of vacation, I didn't want to ruin hers.

"Well, I had my hair done."

"No, something's different, I think it's the way you are standing, with your legs crossed, a hand on your hip, you look like you are going to work or something. I can't put my finger on it." I saw her eyes move down to my heels, then back up to my eyes. "Well, whatever, I'm glad you are not disappointed that I have spent the whole vacation working on my hobby."

I just smiled, I was glad for other reasons. If we were together she would be calling her father asking for advice, she would be ordering food to my room, she would be reminding me that I was wearing female clothes. I didn't need reminding, I knew, I needed reassurance, and Roman and Sonia were giving that to me. I knew I didn't always pass.