Hell or High Water

"Cole, Cole, don't jump to conclusions."

"Is she with you, Ruby. It's a yes or no question."

"If you're asking me, you know she isn't. Cole, she's not cheating on Aiden, I swear."

"Okay, what's she doing at some house in Bartlett then."

"I promised I wouldn't say."

"Ruby, Aiden is going to divorce her. Spill it now!"

Aiden winced at the anger in my voice. I wasn't mad at Ruby. I was mad at what my friend was going through.

"Divorce? God, no!"

The call ended and I was staring at my phone like an idiot, wondering what the hell was going on.

"She hung up on me," I told Aiden.

"I have a feeling my phone will be ringing shortly," Aiden said, as he put his phone on the table.

"I don't know what the hell she's doing, but I'm not going to make it easy on her," he said as he slid the button to power off the phone. "Let her sweat as much as I have been."

A few minutes, and another beer later, my phone rang.

"Cole, Baby, is Aiden with you? He's not answering his phone."

"He's probably talking to the lawyer right now."

"No! Cole, you have to stop him. Oh, Christ! I told her it was a dumb idea. Honey, you have to do something."

"No, Ruby. I'm staying out of it, and if I find out you're lying and have been covering up an affair, we're going to have some marital problems of our own."

"Baby, I swear, she's getting cooking lessons."

"What!" I almost yelled. Aiden gave me the 'what the hell?' look. I held up a finger for him to wait.

"Cooking lessons. Their anniversary is coming and she's learning to cook Polish food so she can make the foods Aiden misses from when he was a kid."

"At a house in Bartlett?" I asked.

"Yeah. An old Polish woman lives there and teaches people how to make all that food for money on the side."

"Let me guess, she only takes cash?"

"I don't know. You have to believe me. You have to find him. He'll talk to you."

"He's sitting next to me."

"Don't let him leave!"

She ended the call leaving me to stare at my phone again.

I shook my head and Aiden asked, "Well? What's going on?"

"Did your mom make Polish food for you when you were a kid?" I asked.

"No. My grandma. My mom couldn't cook for shit."

"Apparently, your wife is being taught how to make Polish food. She wanted to surprise you for your anniversary."

Aiden's eyes began to water, and we heard the screeching of tires in front of the house.

I said, "Well, that has to be your wife. Mine can't get here that quick."

The doorbell rang, and I said, "And that ends guy time. My kids will wake for sure. Talk to her out here, I'll go let her in and go back to daddy duty."

"You said doody," he joked.

I groaned. Both he and my brother made any joke they could to bust my balls about poopy diapers.

"Yeah, yeah, watch it or I'll make you change your goddaughter's diaper."

"Anything but that!"

We laughed, and I heard crying on the monitor.

"Duty calls," I said, pointing at him to stop him from saying it again.

*****

I was sitting in the kitchen feeding Iris and watching Junior eat some kind of gross looking organic cheese puffs when Ruby burst in through the garage.

"Cole, is everything okay?"

I pointed to the patio, and we saw Bianca sitting on Aiden's lap with her head nuzzled into his neck.

"Of all the bone-headed things to do, Rube. That guy was a wreck when he came here."

"Obviously, he wasn't supposed to find out. How the hell did he catch her?"

"She wasn't charging her spa trips on her bank card. He followed her today."

She picked up Junior who was reaching out for her, saying, "Uppie."

"Hi, Sweetie," she chirped and kissed his cheesy lips.

She looked at me as she wiped his face with a wet wipe, "I'm sorry, Cole. I can only imagine how he felt."

"Promise me you'll never do anything like that. A surprise isn't worth the pain the lies created."

She didn't make eye contact with me, which concerned me, and said, "I promise."

That was a seminal moment in our marriage. I knew she was hiding something.

*****

For a month after the Bianca incident, I kept an eye on Ruby's activities. I just couldn't get the nagging suspicion out of my mind. After all that time of seeing nothing out of the ordinary, I gave up on all the cloak and dagger stuff I was doing. There was never a sniff of her doing anything she shouldn't have been doing.

Six months prior to the Polish food incident, Ruby asked, "Cole, I was thinking about taking a photography class at the college."

"Oh?" I asked.

"Yeah, I mean, I take all kinds of pictures of our babies, and I'd like to take better quality photos."

"Okay, do you want to do it together? It might be fun?"

"Ooh! We can do that, it'll be great."

Well, it wasn't great. I made it to two classes, then missed four in a row because of work. I dropped from the class and Ruby continued on. Admittedly, she took to it like a fish to water and started to take some really good pictures.

After the class was over, she was taking incredible pictures and wanted to continue on to a second level course. I agreed, and life went on.

I got a call from Aiden one Thursday, shortly after Ruby started the second class.

"Hey, Man. I thought you should know I just saw Ruby at Rookies with some guy and another woman. I know she's supposed to be at her photography class. I was picking up my takeout order and saw them at a table."

"Yeah, but a lot of times they go out of the classroom and into the field to take pictures. She probably just stopped off to grab a bite to eat. You said there's a guy and a girl? What's the guy look like?"

Aiden said, "Older guy. I'd put him in his forties. Glasses with a beard."

I said, "Rock concert t-shirt?"

"Yeah. Van Halen I think."

"Yeah, that's her teacher. He always wears rock band shirts. The other woman is probably his wife, who is also his assistant. Red head?"

"Yeah."

"There you go, it was totally innocent. I appreciate you looking out for me, Brother."

"No problem. I'm just glad it wasn't what I feared."

"Me too."

When Ruby came home that night, she attacked me. I mean she came at me, grabbed me off the couch, and dragged me to the bedroom.

After she got done riding me like a banshee, I asked, "Jeez, Babe. What brought that on?"

"I don't know. I was just horny as hell and needed you."

"Huh? What were you doing at dinner that got you all riled up?" I asked and slid from her arms.

"What do you mean?"

"Your dinner? With Jason and Debbie."

"I didn't have dinner with them. After I left class, I came straight home."

I couldn't believe she lied to me. I jumped out of bed and glared at her. She got out of bed and slipped on a night shirt.

"You're seriously going to stand there and lie to me?" I growled.

"I'm not lying," she answered.

"I'm going to sleep in the guest room. You better come up with a good reason for lying to me, or it'll be a long time before I sleep in this bed."

"Cole, you're not making sense. Cole..."

I closed the door and left her in the hall. I didn't want to wake the kids, so I didn't slam the door, and she didn't continue to shout out at me through the door.

*****

I sat in my office the next morning when Aiden walked in and took a seat.

"What's up, Cole?"

"She lied to me."

"Who? Ruby?"

I nodded.

"I asked her how dinner with Jason and Debbie went, and she lied to me. She said she didn't go to dinner; she came straight home from class."

"Shit, Man. I swear, it was her."

"I believe you, it's her I don't believe."

Later that day, I pulled into the garage and walked into the sounds of kids crying and a desperate wife trying to calm them.

"Daddy!" Junior wailed. "Momma won't let me play Legos."

"Someone didn't take his nap, and it's time for dinner. Two reasons why you're not going to play anymore," Ruby scolded.

That started another crying fit from the overtired lad, and then his sister joined in just for the fun of it,

I picked up my son and said, "Come on, little man. It's time to eat. Let's go get washed up for dinner."

"Okay, Daddy," I smirked at my frazzled wife and carried my calmed down son to the bathroom.

I smelled what she was cooking and didn't comment. She had made pot roast.

It was a feeble attempt to placate me after lying to me. She had to know she was caught. There was no way I would come up with it out of the blue if I didn't already know she had the dinner.

As she sat down with the kids and set up their meals in the dining room, I made myself a sandwich in the kitchen. I grabbed a beer and headed into the dining room.

"I made your favorite, Cole," she said without looking up.

"No thanks. I'll just have a sandwich."

Her head snapped around and glared at me. I took a big bite of my pb&j.

"Cole, what has gotten into you?"

"Why are you lying to me about what you did last night. I mean, something as innocuous as having a meal with your teacher and his wife shouldn't be anything to hide."

"I told you..."

"Right, you told me you came straight home after class. Then who did Aiden see having dinner at Rookies with Jason and Debbie?"

"Okay, so we went out for a drink instead of me coming straight home. I didn't want you to think anything was going on."

I laughed.

"So, to make sure I don't think there's anything going on, you lied to me?"

"A fib."

"A fib. That's your defense? And what was all that bullshit with you horny as a goat when you got home from not having dinner with them?"

"Don't swear in front of the children," she chided.

"What did that old guy do to get you all riled up, huh?"

"Nothing. Jason acted completely appropriately."

She had her head down, and the thought hit me like a lightning strike from Zeus.

"Someone else was there. Son of a bitch, there was another guy there and he wasn't at the table when Aiden saw you."

She looked at me and shook her head.

"Who is he?" I demanded.

"There's no..."

"Who is he?" I shouted and stood.

"Cole, you're wrong."

I walked out of the room and found her purse. I grabbed her phone and walked back into the dining room where she had her head down crying. Junior was nonplussed and Iris ate her little chicken sausages, oblivious to the issue at hand.

"Look at me," I grunted.

She looked up and I held her phone in front of her face.

"Hey! You can't..."

"I absolutely can. Sit back down so I can check out what you've been doing on your phone."

She jumped to her feet, but the highchair was in her way from getting to me. I made it to the garage and into my car before she caught me. I opened her text app and found a string of texts from a guy named Dan.

What a boring name--Dan.

They go back to a week after her class started. I deduced from that, they met in the first class and exchanged numbers after the second class.

The messages were fairly innocent. Idle chat about the class, then the day of the dinner, he invited her to join him and the teacher for dinner to talk about a trip they were planning.

The whole while I was reading the texts, she was banging on my window and yelling at me to give her the phone.

I struck out with the messages from Dan, then looked in her deleted folders and found nothing of interest.

I struggled to understand why she would lie about an innocent dinner to talk about a trip. I looked at her call history and there were several calls to and from Dan, but there were calls from Jason and Debbie as well. I wondered more about the trip they were planning.

I went to her internet browser and there it was. The search engine window was open to a search for romantic and scenic Midwest getaways. Apparently, they wanted to take lovely pictures between romps in the sack. Another window was open to a Michigan resort's website.

As if a gift from the Heavens was bestowed upon me, her phone rang in my hand. It was Dan.

"Hello," I growled.

"Hi, um, is Ruby there?"

"No," I spat.

"Is this Cole? This is Dan from Ruby's class. I've heard all about you and the kids."

"What do you want, Dan?"

"Oh, um, well, I wanted to let Ruby know the rooms are booked for the trip. You're gonna love it. We were worried they would be full up, and couldn't get the three rooms, but we're all set."

"What trip and what rooms?" I asked, I started to get a sick feeling and not because she was cheating on me or planning to.

"Are you saying she didn't tell you yet? Aw, man, I'm sorry I ruined the surprise. Well, we're all going to a resort in Michigan for a weekend getaway. My wife is beyond excited."

I ended the call and looked at Ruby leaning against her car. I couldn't tell if the look on her face portrayed smugness, or anger.

I opened the door and handed her the phone.

"Dan called."

"No shit, Sherlock," she grunted and walked into the house, slamming the door behind her.

I knew I was in trouble. It wasn't totally my fault, after all she did lie to me, but you know how it goes.

*****

I walked into the dining room and found a normal nightly meal melee happening. Junior was wiggling, Iris was wiping her dirty hands on her face to clean them, and my wife was sipping the rather nice Cabernet she had opened for us.

"In my defense," I started, "you've been acting oddly for a while."

"You thought I was cheating on you?"

"Not necessarily, but I could tell something was up, and you lied to me. You lied to me knowing I knew where you were last night."

"I panicked, Cole. I couldn't think of an excuse fast enough that would still hide the real reason we met."

"Why the surprise at all, Rube? Why not just tell me you were planning a romantic getaway? Christ! Especially after what happened with Aiden and Bianca, I'd have thought you learned from that mess."

"He loved the special Polish dinner she made."

I shook my head, "Yeah, but was it worth the anguish he went through? Hell, he thought he lost his wife."

"I suppose not. I'm sorry, okay?"

"Me too."

"We're good, right?" She asked. "It's going to be a fantastic getaway."

"Of course we're good, on one condition."

"What's that?"

"Can I have some of that awesome looking roast now?"

She threw her napkin at him and said, "Eat, you brat!"

He smiled as he watched her clean off Iris' face, then kiss her cheek. He thought, "Back to normal," and blew his wife a kiss.