All Comments on 'Helping My Brother's Friend'

You need to write more of this. I don't think this story is over, you need to finish it.

Wow, that was beautiful story! Like Jason, I struggle with confidence; wish I had a Janine type to help me get past it! Your very talented, please keep writing. I'd love to read more on what happens next with Jason and Janine; oh, and stupid Mary...

That was pretty hot - well written.

This was good because it also dealt with insecurities and a sense of inadequacy. Well handled and hot.

Good premise.

But the sex is much too automatic. Too matter-of-fact.

And did she really have to have DD's?

And did he really have to be an expert cunnilinguist his first time?

Better if she had to talk him through it. Do you like the way my pussy looks? Would you like to kiss it? Do you like the way it smells? Do you want to use your tongue? Followed by more step-by-step details and instructions about how to proceed. And finally getting to teaching him where her clit is. And how to make it feel good.

No indication of his cock size except that he's afraid it's too small.

Not a great deal of interaction with her breasts.

Nothing with her ass.

Why was a Womanizer needed? Is he suppised to conclude that he's not man enough to excite her and get her off without a toy from the very beginning? Stupid.

And, since there wasn't anything with her ass/asshole, what's his fascination with the butt plug?

Four stars.

I like that his cock was small & he was insecure about it. I get so tired of every male character on this site having a monster cock. Her insecurities were also endearing, but DD boobs, really? Then why did she need a push up bra?

And he was really good at cunnilingus for a virgin. Watching porn would not teach him good technique— the emphasis of almost all straight porn is the MALE pleasure.

I for one thought the story was awsome! I'd like read me, the story hopefully has a long way to go! Good job!

In spite of several flaws, I still enjoyed this one so I gave you a 5/5 even though I'm usually a lot more critical in my reviews. The premise of the story was the main reason for my generosity. Most others would have ended up with a three, but I absolutely loved Janine and her heart the size of Texas.

The biggest issue that I had was continuity in the location. Unless I misread your writing, this is a brother and sister not living with their parents, but in their own apartment. The sister is a high school senior just about to graduate and her brother along with his closest friend are college seniors also nearing graduation. Most 18 year old girls fixing to graduate high school are going to still be living at home with Mom and Dad. You described Janine's bedroom having both a bed and a lazyboy recliner in it. Most apartment bedrooms are not going to be large enough to fit all of that furniture into it. Even where I live in the Houston metropolitan area apartment bedrooms aren't big enough for that. The next time you are going to write something, plan out your locations better. Write up a description just for yourself if you need to and keep it believable. This is fiction, but you can still stretch the imagination only so far before someone calls bullshit.

The next thing was several spelling errors, but those were not a huge distraction. The last thing was that sudden ending. The final sentence was a great ending, but it felt like there was a wrap up that was totally missing. I would have either had Jason sleep over and spend the night or just run a couple sentences where they cuddle and kiss before he has to leave and they both agree to continue their affair. After he leaves and Janine closes the door, then she can call Mary an idiot to end the story. Your ending just plain sucked.

I agreed with the other readers' comments about the DD tits and Jason having a normal size dick instead of a porn star cock. But since others have already addressed those issues I'm not going to keep ranting. I look forward to reading more from you and I hope to see improvement too.

The story was really good, the DDs and pushup bra aside, but then late he's suddenly dominant and she's "queefing" (ugh) and it all goes awry.