All Comments on 'Helping My Sister Get Ready'

one more with mom and dad?

Lovbed the story. Loved the oral sex. Write more!!!

The story itself was good, the writing less so. You need an editor to help with spelling and grammar. And when you write your not cosistant with pov and time. I am not a native english speaker myself. But I found it all distracted from the story. I am sorry if this is a bit blunt, you can blame it on my Dutch directness. But if nobody tells you what you need to improve upon, you will never grow.

Good story I liked very much. if you decide to add to it please don't ruin by introducing others to the relationship.

Great story. I hope you have a mother father story. I liked how their parents fully accept it. You do need an editor to clean up the spelling and grammer, but I still gave it 5 stars

1 paragraph in, and I have a migraine...

Really need to use spellchecker, very off-putting.

How about you learn to speak English before you try writing it.

ever heard of spell-check? 'rapped' instead of 'wrapped'? countless other misspellings, errors, etc. for this to be anywhere near an enjoyable read.

Nice story, hard the entire time I was reading it. However poor spelling and grammar took away from the quality of the story.

I wanted to like it...

Please, please get someone to proofread your story. It's a wonderful piece of work, but full of grammar and spelling mistakes.

Love the story! Don’t ruin it by getting the parents involved. Let them have kids and live happily by themselves.

A good story ruined by really poor spelling. Slow down and check your work before presenting it.

Do you have anyone that can help you with your writing? Premise for the storyline is good. But wow you need help with your writing. Very rough, lot of jumping around, very awkward flow, missing details to know where the story is going at times. An editor would throw up their hands, like they would be compelled to do a complete rewrite. You need help knowing sentence structure, word tense, showing who is in first person and when you are changing to which person is in control of the sentence(s). This simply is a tough read and your writing style is very laborious to the reader. Clean it up and the story would be a fun one to read.

You should run your story through an editor. It was so grammatically disjointed that it distracted from the story.

good story but please, you need need need an editor. another pair of eyes to see the mistakes in spelling and missing words in sentences.

Keep writing...

I thought here was a breath of fresh air. A simple story of a beautiful love between brother and sister. No drama, no one else getting involved or screwing up what they share together and then the last few lines hinting at the parents getting involved. Why must writers always feel the need to ruin a beautiful love story by getting the parents or someone else involved. No where in the whole story are the parents mentioned and all of a sudden they what to have sex with their children. Total turn off.

Sexy but poorly written, you should get someone to edit your stories

"Let's get the information out of the way." First clue that an author is horrible... starting a story with a bunch of bullshit measurements and descriptions of the woman he's never actually going to fuck.

This is horrible! Please don’t EVER write anything again.

Great story, you just need an editor and use spellcheck. Keep the stories coming.

Great potential, but please find an editor. It's not rapped, it's wrapped, and please stop jumping between tenses. You're a good writer and have a great imagination, you just need a small bit of editing and you'll be great. I look forward to you growth and more stories. Good luck.

Great story, but please get an editor or at least use a grammar and spell checker.

Learn to spell the words that you use. Many spell errors

The story itself is not good. No point in correcting grammar and so forth

I agree with Dropshot67 above. I enjoyed the premise, the settings, and especially the humor dropped in nicely and randomly throughout the narrative. I am a native speaker and the first several paragraphs sounded like an editor had already reviewed them, pages 2 and 3 were wrought with grammatical errors which was very distracting. Maybe readers of erotica couldn't care less about grammar, spelling, or punctuation. I will say as a learned author myself, it hugely detracted from an enjoyable reading experience.

Atrocious spelling, horrible punctuation, characters with no understandable motivation, crappy dialogue, and sex scenes that make no sense.

Grammar and spelling. I couldn't finish the story because of all the mistakes.

With all of the grammar, spelling, and punctuation mistakes, you could have said you were still in Kindergarten instead of College. I quit reading before I finished the first page. :-(

Like so many others have commented, the spelling was atrocious...that means extremely bad. I need to be careful using big words that you might not understand. I did copy one particular example of incorrect spelling because it's obviously NOT accidental or a possible typo:

"...your "Toy" hit my arm and I rapped my fingers around it..."

The correct word here would be "wrapped".

I'm going to give you two stars even though I stopped reading when cut herself a second time, this one near her asshole. I can tell that your story had great potential. But you would have needed to turn this over to another more mature writer for a complete rewrite. This sophomoric work is little more than an outline for an idea of a really good tale in its current state. 2/5

I know it's difficult when you're writing in European English and I'm reading in American English. But there were a lot of glaring typos that had nothing to do with the language bridge, the comment crowd is right, get a proofreader or someone you trust to help you. By the way, the story would have been a little clearer if we knew she cut herself while shaving in the first paragraph, sure we all probably all guessed it, but you could have made it easier for us.