All Comments on 'Her Amber Eyes Ch. 01-03'

Congratulations on publishing your first story. I know that can be daunting. I look forward to the next chapter(s).

I don't really read much in this category and I've only commented on two other stories on this site, but this caught and held my interest. I read, I gave you a well-deserved 5*, and I'm commenting to say -- your storytelling is engaging, your story is very well-written and your characterization is damn good (especially of Inaya's being an introvert who feels unsure in her new world). Please do continue this story. I'll be checking back for further chapters.

I agree with everything Popcorn said. Most engaging and looking forward to the next chapters. Thank you.

Well crafted characters and storytelling. Minimum of words effectively give us a feeling about the characters and lead us to want more.

Gave it a 5.

Thanks.

OMG! Welcome to this forum, we need good writers like you.

Like Dashiell Hammett, your writing can be hard-boiled, acerbic, and perceptive of the human condition – no punches pulled. Also, you can highlight the ironical incongruencies of human characters and their lives, like Mark Twain. Then, like Oscar Wilde, your writing has a poetic tenderness and tragedy, which is almost sweet.

For us, your writing has enough suicides, or potential suicides, to keep us interested. Enough cynicism and snarkiness to tell the tale truthfully. And enough simmering, buried lust to whet our lustful carnal appetites. My wife and I have favorited this and will be looking forward to future chapters.

We can’t wait to watch you unpack Inaya’s complex personality and Ben’s reluctant attraction toward her. Ben may be just “bastardly” enough to forge a psych ward romance with his boss’s wife!

Kudos!

You have a gift, my friend. now that you started out so strong it's going to be tough to keep it up. Follow your own ideas, don't let the hoi polloi ruin your vision. there are enough to wear you down, but you can delete them!

R.

That was an enjoyable read. You can feel her pain. Ben is pretty screwed up, not sure what to think about him. Looking forward to the next chapter.

Only the shortness was bearable. But I smell unpleasant and ghastly chapters are on the way. Please spear us those misogynistic and putrid characters and a bland and boring plot.

Draw a Mona Lisa with a chainsaw in a cow, it’s more fun.

Well written, but I don't yet see the appeal about an asshole, whose mother was a cheating bitch. Maybe the next chapter will show a bit more substance.

Obviously, its not her fault. And he's the predator; perfect. Whatever happens its his fault. At least we know why it ends, and I suspect how it ends. If you want to fill the Twinkie with your literary cream have at it. Its still just a twinkie.

Thanks for the effort.

This is an open field..He can become humanized or she can become wise enough to dump her loser husband. Great first read. Looking forward to many more chapters.

Your effort is appreciated.

Perfect! A deranged writer writing about stupid cunts and dicks!! Perfect !!