by AlianaRoscoe
got to love dragons. Apart from the nae thing was a nice little quicky
She didn't change anything. if you go back to chapter one there were no names. I hope you write more!
In the second chapter his name was Jonathan and you are right it was changed to Sebastian. Interesting lol
Your first story was lacking a little but this one seemed to have a bit more substance to it. You do need to be careful about mixing up your main characters names and the story should flow along unless it's an action scene it shouldn't be choppy. Overall I think your progressing nicely for a newbie. Good luck!
absolutely love it. if you want just a tiny bit of constructive criticism, i'd suggest making the sex a bit more descriptive.
Much better. Thank you for a little more detail in the second story. I have to agree I like the name Sebastian better than Johnathan. This story line has great potential just like the first. All I can stress to you as an writer is take your time and develop a story that you readers will be hot, wet and begging for more. I am curious to see how you next story develops.
you wrote a nice beautiful story. I would vefy much appreciate it if you would fill in the blanks with a fuller story than a hurried simple last paragraph. Don't leave us hanging. The red dragon tale must be told.. I like your writing, but pleeeez finish it properly. Many thanks25
I love the first 3 quarters of the story .from there it goes downhill. And the sex part seems a little to rushed but I'm guessing that your just trying to keep it short but it's better to go a little long. I love to see you write a full length story
It has really good potential don't be afraid of eleborating adding some twists and turns that leave us wanting for more .... :) your first story? It's good I'm sure as you gain more experience as a writer you will make us beg for more hehehe writing is hard so good job so far and please keep writing :)
A good story with the potential greatness. A good first time story. Would like to read more chapters. I would like to see how this story develops.
Even though this is a good story, I really wished there was more to it and longer chapters. There is a great deal of potential with this storyline and could even make a great book if certain parts of the story were elaborated on more. Developing the characters to a greater extent would also make this story better.