All Comments on 'Her New Voice, Her Only Husband Ch. 02'

That way you won't have things like "love at first site" in the story. Maybe you wouldn't write in present tense, either.

So, no comment.

Did you even bother to proof read this drivel?

Indirect exposition, sometimes called incluing, is a technique of worldbuilding in which the reader is gradually exposed to background information about the world in which a story is set.

First you write in fetish and then try to bring it to Loving Wives. Don't be surprised at the lower scores. Then you seem to want to do this one page at a time. Ain't no one got time for that. You also have us start back when she was the town bicycle, sort of like going back to Roman times to explain the Civil War, and at a single page a go it is taking too long, too fast. So speed it up, do it in larger chunks, and get to the point, we don't have all day. That said, you do have a way with scenery and ambience, but start getting to the plot and get it on topic to Loving Wives, not fetish and not erotic sluttery. Or coupling. Whatever. These installments all get 2*.

The last time you had a single page installment in this story was TWO YEARS ago? You don't deserve two stars, you deserve a punch in the mouth. You sir, are a dick.

Some observations:.

Your execution of your plan showed some talented insights in a few flashes, but in all it is barely C level. Hence,

You probably don't rate insulting the depth of the readers intellects.

If you want the best chance at productive communication with the readers, crank out the rest of it , and submit it close together.

Thanks again for doing something different with the D/s aspects, and for writing about a younger womanl than most of the stories here

I read through your stuff. It's pretty bad from a Loving Wives, BDSM or Fetish standpoint as there is no safe word, there is no negotiation nor even discussion. There is absolutely no communication whatsoever, just your cute phrasing and attempted "indirect exposition". You forgot the part about incluing being done without the reader being aware of it. Good bye.

Are you a TRANNY?

Scores are way too high for this straight horseshit..