All Comments on 'Hinn Ch. 22-24'

I am enjoying this well written story. It’s likely to be my favourite for the year

More please

djb

Thanks, djb - appreciate the appreciation!

FYI, I've gotten things written up into chapter 31, just editing/polishing to make sure I don't goof up too badly, so there's at least that much more coming.

I like the story and the premise you have. However, when reading it, I can't help but feel that you're rushing towards something. Your scenes are all rushed, and so far, it just seems to keep jumping from one angle to another. I'd like to keep reading this story, but don't know if your writing style is going to work out for me. Honest advice? Slow down and let your readers stay in the moment a bit before rushing ahead. And yes, it is possible to do that and still maintain the fast-paced feel you seem to be aiming for.

That may well be an area I need to develop my writing skills in. This is my first novel-length piece in decades, so - yeah, definitely something I'll have to see if I can improve on.

Thanks for the feedback!

Sometimes when there are 3 or 4 people in conversations, I lose identity. You should improve identifying your speakers

Thanks for the tip, dunmovyniv!