by MsQuote
Well Done!!! Don't want to be hyper-critical, but you could use some editing on dropped words, grammer and use of adverbs. There IS a good flow to your writing.
Anon, thanks for your feedback. I'll be sure to pay particular attention to "grammer." :)
... and as a spelling and grammar fanatic - see my stories - I found nothing wrong with your 'grammer'.
But your anatomy, or something, is a bit weak. Either you have an unusual cervix, or he has a remarkable mouth.
And if 'throbbing eight inch cock' is a stupid cliche, just what is 'tight wet pussy'?
But I'll forgive you these two wee glitches in an otherwise lovely human tale.
Exasperated is the word I think you meant when you used exacerbated.
You are right. Not that it matters a lot, but exasperated doesn't work without identifying what was made worse. You could stretch it to mean her emotional state, but exasperated fits better right away.
God I waste time!
Thanks for the good story Ms.
Before you go to that Workshop, try getting some advice from a good Editor and the help of a good Proof Reader!!
Thanks, Anonymous. So noted.
By the way, do you know of a good "editor" or "proofreader" I should consult before going off to that "workshop"? I'd really hate to embarrass myself any further.
Congratulations! The story was great and the author is both literate and a good story teller as well. Thank you. This gets an A+ from this teacher.
Nice not having to read about “throbbing 8-inch cock” for a change, except in passing!
Nice erotica, although I was given pause over the mouth on cervix passage. Dude must have prehensile lips, haha!