All Comments on 'His Father's Lover'

Weird and good. The writing was odd but still appealing. ***

If the first page wasn't so confusing with jumping the scenes this would be a really great story. I had trouble following the setting, it was real now and then suddenly some other scene and so forth. Aside from that it was entertaining and so very sweet, even though the son was a tad bit forceful in the beginning of the lovemaking.

Still I give it 4*.

"His Father's Lover?" It makes it sound like the son is doing his dad or it's a woman. You have to think about it for a while before realizing the absent father's lover is his mother. Also, one paragraph was out of place. I wonder if you are writing one paragraph at a time and then stitching them together to make the story. OK to do that but you have to be careful. Otherwise you risk overlooking gaps like the one I pointed out plus unnecessary repetition of names, etc. But a nice story with good fucking.

it's pretty rare we get to read so balanced n jumped scene, like a movie of sort. i enjoyed it very much. ty

I put this in the category of incest romance, the best category. love to see them as a couple and have a daughter.

I like the romantic and relatively slow build and most of all the romantic love between the mother and her son...:-)

Please go on and let her son impregnate her with a child...

I'm looking forward to the next part...

Yes, a nice romantic story. The title threw me off too, but I'm glad to have read it. Thanks.

Very sexy story! Yes, the title made me wonder; glad I read it to see what it was about!

with the exception of a couple of confusing paragraphs , the writing was very good.

This was a loving romantic awakening for both and they enjoyed great sex.

Thought the son was going to fuck his mother's ass, which would have been great has he had been a bit too forceful in the beginning. Gave it a five stars!

Made me think of my mother.

I really appreciate it when readers go out of their way to give me comments. You help me to write better stories, or to write stories better... something.

Anyway, thanks.

This would have been really good except for the jumping about of the scenes. It's seemed you were trying to compile paragraphs from different writing sessions in order to present your story.

I assume you were trying to show flashbacks; if so you didn't do a very good job for you kept pulling this reader out of my suspension of belief and made me go back and reread several times. That's ALWAYS deadly to a story.

If you want to use flashbacks I suggest you follow the example of some of the name writers. At a minimum you need to use stars or some other means to warn the reader things will change. Maybe just a thought process like this , for example. (John thought back to their time earlier on the beach when Mary ...) Like I say, I'm no expert on this subject and this might not work, but your way surely didn't.

Don't let these comments discourage you. You show a real talent for the genre and I'm sure we'll be reading a lot of your stories./

My Dad got remarried when I was seven.My real mom passed away.So my Dad got married and she took care of us.When I got about fifteen years old .I really started looking at her in a different way..She had blonde hair and her tits were real nice.plus she had a really nice ass nice and round.She always walked around the house in her bra and panties.She was only 27 years old at the time.So I started looking at her bend over and reaching for stuff.She just was making me horny.I started going in the laundry room after she would change her panties.I would go in there and get her panties and lick the crotch real good.I could taste her pussy.It tasted good.So I would do it alot.Then one day we had a party at the house.And every one was drinking alot.I was looking at Mom seeing what see was drinking and she was drinking liquor .So it started getting late and every one started leaving .Mom had her head on the table..And my Dad was passed out on the sofa.So my sister and her friend put mom in her bed.Then my sister said that she was taking off for the night.She told me to keep an eye on Dad and mom.I said ok.So about a half hour later I walked in my mom bedroom to see if she was still sleeping.She had the sheets over her.Than I started shaking her and she wouldn't do nothing.She was knocked out cold.I was looking at her and I couldn't help myself.So I lifted the sheets up and she was laying in bed naked.I looked at her and she was fuckin gorgeous.So I was standing next to the bed and I got on my knees and got close to her pussy ..Then I started licking her a little and she didn't move so I licked her more and I kept going in deeper.So I licked her for awhile and she didn't even move.So I moved her a little bit and I started licking her ass .I started licking her ass hole and I shoved my tougne as far as I could go and licked her real good.I done it to her ass for a half hour.Then I put the sheets back over her and left the room.I thought to myself wow that was fuckin awesome.She tasted great.Then everytime I would look at her I think how hot and tasty she was.

This story has been up for a couple weeks. The feedback is naturally falling off, but I still appreciate the votes and comments that I get from readers. Your response is the tool I use to improve my writing.

Toby know exactly where that fat young penis of his belongs. It belongs up his own mother's warm wet ever-loving vagina. All of the semen from his hot young balls too.

You write well. Look out for redundancies. At the beginning you have the word "wind" three times in a row in three sentences. There's more like that. "Kate took Toby to the back of her mouth, then to her lips again." You repeat that twice in one paragraph. "... faining embarrassment" should be "feigning". It's nearly impossible to imagine that Toby reached adulthood having no clue what happened to his father. Then when his mother tells him, she watches his face for his reactions but you don't tell us anything about what those reactions were. " Toby couldn't think of any reason not to walk the boardwalk until they reached it." Why would he not want to?

All mothers and sons should experience such uninhibited love. Very few of us are so lucky.