His Last Deployment

Closing her eyes tight, she opened them, tears in the corners, and got up. I held her hand as we both sat in the sand down the beach. She opened the envelope and pulled out a three-page letter. Opening it she started to read. I caught a glimpse of the first line... "I hope you never get this, my dear."

I looked up and away, not wanting to intrude. I could hear Shelly sob as she read what Ken wanted to tell her. It only took her a few minutes to read the letter. She stuffed it back into the envelope, took a deep breath, and sighed.

"You okay, dear?" I asked.

"Yes. Yes, I'm fine. He told me I was special and asked me to take his things to his parents. Including the letter that Dean has for them. They don't live far from here, I can drive them over tomorrow if someone will pack his things."

"Would you want someone to come with you? Me or Dean or both of us?" I asked.

"That would be nice."

"Then tomorrow we'll pack up his things and go. Do you want to go in and lie down?"

"No, I would like to spend some more time with his friends," she replied.

Nodding, we both rose, she still had tears trickling down her cheeks as we went back to the somber party. To say we all got drunk would be an understatement. I don't even remember getting back to our quarters. It was a sad day and night.

The next morning, after a bit of the hair of the dog, Dean, Shelly, and I went for a ride. The Casualty Assistance Representative had already let Ken's parents know of the death of their son. Dean's visit wasn't mandatory but, he has always visited his men's parents, after a death, if they were still alive. It didn't take long for Shelly to find Ken's parents' place, and then we were standing at the front door. Dean knocked. We waited. Ken's father opened the door. His eyes went wide with surprise.

"Dean," Ken's dad said.

"I'm so sorry for your loss, Simon," Dean said taking Simon's hand.

"Come in, come in," Simon said. "Who are these lovely ladies you have with you, Dean?"

"Simon, I would like to introduce you to my wife Jill and a friend of Ken's Shelly," Dean said. "Ladies, Simon, Ken's father. Where is your wife, Simon?"

"In the living room. She hasn't been well since..."

"I understand, Simon."

"I think she will perk up a little when she sees you are here."

And she did. When Victoria saw Dean she smiled brightly at him. Then when she was introduced to Shelly she smiled even more. While Shelly and I talked with Victoria, Dean and Simon went out to Shelly's car and brought in Ken's things. Once settled in the living room again, Dean handed Simon, Ken's letter to his parents. Victoria gasped when she saw the envelope.

"Can you stay?" Simon asked.

"We really have to be going," Dean said. "You should really read that without us here."

"No, they shouldn't," Shelly said. "You sent Jill with me to read mine, you'll never know how much she helped me comprehend what was happening."

"Then, we'll stay," I said.

Dean looked at me, actually, he was glaring at me. He didn't know what was in that letter and really didn't want to know.

"Why don't you go outside. Shelly and I will stay," I said looking up at Dean.

Nodding, he went outside. Simon opened the letter and read. Tears started down his face when he read the first line. I had a hunch that it was started the same way Shelly's did. When Simon finished, he handed it to Victoria. She was already crying. She started to read and cried even harder. Simon was trying to comfort her. Shelly had tears running down her cheeks. I was trying to hold mine back. Victoria looked at Shelly. Shelly went to Victoria and hugged her. Victoria hugged Shelly back. Simon took the letter from his wife's hand, looking at me.

"Would you like to..."

"No. No, please," I said softly.

Nodding Simon put the letter back in the envelope. Shelly and Victoria were now whispering. Turning, Shelly grabbed her purse and pulled out her letter from Ken.

"This is my letter from Ken, would you like to read it?" Shelly asked.

"Very much," Victoria replied taking the letter from Shelly.

Once again Victoria was crying as she read. She was also smiling, knowing that her son had at least had someone besides his parents to express his love of country and love of his fellow man and woman.

"He liked you very much," Victoria said handing the letter back.

"Thank you. I liked him very much. He made me laugh and made my heart sing," Shelly replied.

I went and got Dean. After that, we didn't stay long. Dean told Simon and Victoria when Ken's body would be released and that someone would contact them about where they would like his body sent for burial. The drive back to base was done in silence. We each had our own thoughts to contend with.

Dean and I just lay together on our bed, cuddled up. My thoughts raced through my mind. I suddenly had the hiccups. Dean hugged me tightly. I gasped but, still had the hiccups.

"Hold your breath," whispered Dean.

"What do you think I've been doing," I hiccupped.

"Don't get testy with me young lady," said Dean chuckling at me.

I just glared at him as I continued to hiccup.

"I would try to scare you but, I don't really know what to do that would make you jump and be frightened."

I was holding my breath so I didn't answer him. Dean lay there for a second watching me, then he began to tickle me. I'm not really all that ticklish but, for some reason, I just couldn't keep from laughing as he poked me in the ribs. He kept it up for quite some time. Not only was I laughing hysterically but, I was yelling for him to stop. He stopped. Then He was hugging me gently. I hugged him back, waiting to see if I started to hiccup again. After a few minutes, Dean kissed me hard.

We would be leaving in the morning. Back to Wright-Patterson, AFB, and the usual daily grind. If the guys didn't get deployed, then Dean would be home most of the time. He didn't go into Headquarters a couple of days a week when he wasn't deployed. So, he would be home while I was at work. Now he would be the one greeting me at the door. We finally fell asleep in each other's arms.

When we got home, we unpacked and went shopping for food. When we returned Bucky was parked in front of the house. He had someone with him. Dean helped me carry in the groceries before going to talk to Bucky. I watched out the kitchen window as the three of them stood next to Bucky's truck talking. They stood out there for a good thirty minutes. Dean then watched as Bucky drove away. Fear was in my chest as Dean walked back up to the house. I just knew he was going to be deployed somewhere dangerous.

"Who was that?" I asked as he came into the kitchen to help me put away the groceries.

"That was Airman Shipman, our replacement for Ken," he said sadly.

"They sure don't waste time, do they?" I asked.

"Nope. We have two weeks to get him ready."

"You'll be deploying in two weeks?" I asked my stomach tightening with fear.

"Don't know. We are on two weeks stand down to get Shipman integrated into the team. After that, I have no idea what will happen."

"Okay. At least I'll get you home at night for two weeks," I replied.

"Yes, you will. Do you think you can stand me for two weeks straight?" He asked chuckling.

"You bet. Don't wear yourself out during the day, I'll take care of that at night."

"Promises, promises," Dean said laughing.

For the next two weeks, Dean was home in time for dinner every night. I loved having him home with me. He made love to me every night. I adored what he did to me. Two weeks turned into three and three into four. It was at the end of the fourth week when Dean came home for the night. I just knew the following morning he would be leaving me... again.

"Tomorrow?" I asked.

"Yes," he replied grimacing.

"How long?"

"Don't know, yet. When we get there, we'll know. But I was told no longer than two weeks, three at the most."

"Oh god. Please, please be careful, dear?"

"I will. I'm always careful."

"I know. I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you."

That night he made love to me for a long, long time. I was ecstatic. We were both up at six in the morning. Dean was dressed in his combat gear, I in my robe as we stood hugging and kissing while waiting for his transport. The hummer honked its horn and he kissed me one last time and was out the door with his gear. I watched out the front window as he climbed into the hummer and it drove away. Locking the door, I went back up to bed.

The first week alone wasn't bad. The second week wasn't all that bad either. At the start of the third week is when I started to worry. Having heard nothing, which is what usually happened, I was really nervous. On Wednesday of that third week, I was out front trimming the hedge when a staff car pulled up in front. When two uniforms got out, I dropped to my knees in fright. When I saw one was the unit Chaplin I started to cry. The major came running up to me.

"Mrs. Drake, no, we aren't here because of that," the Major said kneeling beside me.

I knew who he was. He was Dean's squadron leader.

"Then why are you here, Allen?" I almost screamed at him. "And with a Chaplin?"

"Dean and several of his men have been injured. The helicopter they were in had a hard landing on the carrier deck, they exfilled to. They are pretty much fine, but won't be home for another week. I'm so sorry if we frightened you."

I almost cussed him out. The only reason I didn't, was the Chaplin. And then it hit me, that's why he had brought the man... to keep me at bay. I still punched him in the arm, hard. Allen grunted. The Chaplin chuckled.

"Where is he now?" I asked almost screaming.

"He's in Germany for a few days, along with Bucky and Vinny. I was hoping you would come with us to talk to their wives so they don't..."

"They will no matter what. I'll go talk to them. You just give me all the information and phone numbers we can reach them at and access to your overseas lines."

"Done. Anything else?" Allen asked.

"The report, which I assume you have with you, listing their injuries."

"Done," he said handing me the folder in his hand.

I pushed him away, even though his arm felt good around me in my time of fright. I stood, looking at him as he stood facing me.

"Next time, if he's just hurt, come alone or with and enlisted woman. I know why you brought the Chaplin and unless he is dead, I don't want to see him again. Got that Major," I scolded. "No offense Chaplin."

"None taken, ma'am," the Chaplin replied.

"Yes, ma'am," Allen said.

I had been so frightened that Dean was dead when I saw the Chaplin that I wanted to scream at him. My heart was still racing. My mind was whirling around at a mile a minute.

"Is there anything in here that we should know about?" I asked.

"No, it's been redacted," Allen replied.

"Crap. If they are in Germany, the carrier must have been in the Med, right?" I asked knowing if that were secret, that he wouldn't answer me.

"It was, that's in the report. Where they were is also in the report. There is nothing that is secret anymore. They completed their mission and were on the way home. The Med was choppy with big swells when their chopper was landing, the deck pitched up, causing the chopper to hit the deck really hard. Broke the landing gear."

"Okay then. Go. I'll take care of telling Linda and Helen."

"Thank you, Jill, but, I should go with you."

"Fine, but the Chaplin stays here," I said.

The Chaplin nodded.

"I told you, Major," the Chaplin said.

"You did, Captain."

"So, when is our flight to Germany?" I asked.

"Uh..."

"You better start making some phone calls then, don't you think?" I said almost yelling at him.

"I will when I get back to my office," Allen replied.

Talking to Linda and Helen was... difficult. Once they realized that their husbands were alive and well, they calmed down a lot. After returning to my house, Allen, along with Chaplin drove off. I went inside to pack. An hour later, Allen himself was there to pick me up and we were off to pick up Linda and Helen.

"All right, ladies. You're on a five-passenger Leer Jet. It is non-stop to Germany. Someone will meet you at the base when you land. They have arranged quarters for you and transportation to the hospital."

"Good," I said. Linda and Helen nodded. "You might just make it out this alive."

Linda and Helen giggled. Allen groaned as he pulled onto the flight line and up to an official Air Force jet. The flight took forever. Not really. Yet it felt like forever. Once we landed, an airman was waiting for us as we stepped off the plane. She had a car and took us to visiting officers quarters. She waited while we freshened up, then took us to the hospital. She led us right past all the checking desks and nurses station to our husbands' room. They were all three in the same ward. We could hear them talking and joking with each other as we approached.

The three of us looked at each other with that knowing smile. As we stepped into the room, all three of them just stared.

"Why you lay-about slackers," I said loudly.

"Sweetie..." Dean started to say.

"You are at attention Captain," I said in my most impressive imitation of a drill instructor.

"Yes, ma'am," he replied while the other two looked rather sheepishly at their wives.

Then I was running to where he lay, kissing his face and lips. Linda and Helen were right behind me. The airman did an about-face and left the room. So did the nurses who had come in to see what the ruckus was about.

"So, you're not really hurt are you?" I asked.

"Wrenched back, just a little. And a sprained ankle. Nothing serious. And just how did you three get here?" asked Dean.

I laughed, then just kissed him. Hard.

"Allen showed up with a Chaplin," I said softly.

Dean turned red with anger.

"He what?"

"Yep. So I beat him up and got him to provide transport for us here."

"I see. Remind me to thank you when we get home."

"So, when are you out of here?" I asked.

"Day after tomorrow."

I just started laughing.

"And how long are you on medical leave?"

"Three weeks," Dean said smiling at me while raising his eyebrows.

"Ah, but your back," I said.

Dean frowned. Three days later, we were at home. None of the guy's injuries were very serious. In fact, they could have stayed with the unit and been home a day earlier. Dean's back wasn't that bed. He never once winced in pain while I rode him to multiple orgasms.

Dean was home a lot longer than three weeks. Bucky, had a broken leg, so the entire team was down, at least until they could find a replacement with the qualification to replace Bucky. All of us wives were elated by our husbands being home and out of danger for so long. Then one day, Dean came home looking sad and kind of disappointed.

"What's up, dear?" I asked.

"We have to deploy tomorrow."

"But, Bucky?"

"Yes, I know. Yet we're needed. Look, this is going to be my last deployment. I have put in my papers. I feel it's time to retire. I'm getting too old for this shit," Dean said.

I rushed to him, he hugged me as I crying my eyes out. He had been in long enough. Twenty-five years. Then I stepped back.

"Why not just ask for a transfer? I thought you wanted to stay in thirty years?"

"They won't let me quit. Allen was being very obstinate. So, I put my retirement papers in, he can't stop that."

I hung my head and started to sob.

"What's wrong, Jill?" asked Dean.

"Nothing," I sobbed.

"Then why are you crying?"

"Two reasons. I know you wanted to stay in thirty and I'm happy I will have you forever after this deployment. And please, please be careful."

I hugged him again. He hugged me back. I pulled him to the bedroom with me. He fucked my brains out. Then I fucked his brains out. As we lay there I thought flashed through my mind. He would be without his best man and friend, Bucky. Now I was really worried. I tried not to let it show. But, Dean was perceptive.

"Don't worry, well get along without Bucky," he said.

"I know," I squeaked. "How long?"

"Not over 30 days. Or we could be home in 15."

"I love you so much," I said.

"I love you too."

Dean and I made love for the rest of the day. That evening he was packing for his assignment. I stayed in the living room not watching the TV. That old friend of mine, fear, was visiting me. When it was time for bed, I cuddled up to Dean. I was actually exhausted with all the sex we had that day. Dean was too. He fell asleep just before I did. The alarm went off, I swear not ten minutes later, yet the room was bright with sunshine. Dean wasn't next to me. I gasped, then heard the shower running. I sighed. He hadn't left without saying goodbye to me.

Getting out of bed, I put my robe on and went to the kitchen. My sweetheart of a husband had made coffee already. I poured myself a cup and sat at the kitchen table. It was a while 'till Dean was out of the bedroom, dragging his duffle behind him. He put his cup in the sink, then sat down across from me. I just stared into his wonderful eyes. God, I loved him so much.

"I have to go," Dean said as the humvee honked its horn.

I stood quickly, he came around the table and took me in his strong arms. He squeezed me tight. I squeezed him back. Then he was out of my arms and hefting his duffle to his shoulder. I stood in the doorway, watching him climb in the hummer. He waved. I waved back. I closed the door and went to the couch in the living room. I sat. A sense of foreboding had just washed over me and I didn't know why. And the fear was there. It was always there.

So here I sit again, counting the days, going to work, and cleaning the house that doesn't need cleaning. The other wives visit often. Bucky and Linda are over so often they almost have become a permanent fixture in my living room. And still, the days drag on. And for some reason, the fear is even greater than all the other times. Maybe that's because Dean's best friend is sitting on my couch while Linda and I talk and laugh, even though my laughter is strained. And still, the days rolled by.

On the fifteenth day, at about ten in the morning there came a knock on my door. As I went to answer, thinking that it was just Linda and Bucky, I remembered they told me they wouldn't be over until after lunch today. My heart was suddenly beating out of my chest and I was scared to death. I shuffled over to the door, looked out the peephole, and died a horrible death. It was Allen. All I could see was him but I knew, I just knew, deep down in my gut that the Chaplin was with him. He knocked softly a second time. I just stood there my head against the door.

"Jill?" That was Linda. Now I knew.

Stepping back, I opened the door and collapsed to the floor when I saw Allen, the Chaplin, Bucky, and Linda. Linda was beside me in an instant, holding me gently.

"Is he dead?" I asked closing my eyes.

"Jill, I'm so sorry...", Allen started.

"Just answer my question please."

"He is. I'm so very sorry, Jill," Allen said.

"And you couldn't let him transfer out of the unit? You just had to have him for one more mission?" I sobbed.

"Is that true Major?" Bucky asked.

"Now is not the time..."

"Bullshit! Sir," Bucky yelled.

"Linda, tell Bucky to stop," I said.

I didn't want Bucky in trouble. After that, I don't remember much. I woke in the base hospital. I guess they thought I needed to be sedated. I sat up, looked around. They had an IV in my arm. I pulled it out. I spotted my clothes on a chair in the corner of the room. I started to get dressed. A nurse came in and tried to stop me. I glared at her as I continued dressing. The nurse summoned a doctor. I glared at him too as I finished dressing.