Hoff and Hols, a Romance Ch. 16

If the events of the summer had seemed like a watershed, from which all rivers ran in a fresh direction, then that meeting with Gran and Mama at the Savoy was a turning point. It was as though it created a momentum which washed away so much of the debris.

Christmas was, as ever, a mixed time for us. But Issy's first birthday more than cancelled out the sadness that I felt recalling Papa's death. Having Keith there with AK, created a family atmosphere which felt good; both Lady F and I flourished in it. Being part of their happiness created a virtuous circle.

The Boxing Day visit to my father's grave was made easier by Footy volunteering to take me. I had told her what had happened at the Savoy. She was delighted.

"So, Pixie, you will have the chance to do something about the bloody injustice; take it. Can't stand Tory politicians but have to say your future step-father seems a good egg!"

That was the first time I had heard Gran described thus. It felt odd, but not unpleasantly so.

We met Sheila at the grave. I had told her about the legacy, so it was natural that we should have discussed it at coffee afterwards.

"I am amazed, Pixie. She actually stole your money, and yet you are okay with that?"

"Sheila, I don't want trouble. The fact is I have more money than I know what to do with, and there seems little point in pursuing it."

"There is a principle at stake Pixie!"

"Sheila, a wise man once said that no one ever did anything supremely stupid except under the impulse of strong principle. I want to let it be, okay?"

She did not look at all happy; but she concurred.

The New Year witnessed that cleansing tide run in fast.

I loved my final Hilary term as an undergraduate and must have been one of the few who looked forward to the exams. My application to do a D.Phil. at Footy's college with her was accepted, and to my delight, my article on Junia appeared at Easter. It marked my arrival as a scholar. I also managed to write the book Gran had wanted, getting it off to the publishers just before Easter.

Underpinning my success was a stable personal life. I felt a great, aching void for Emma, but between them, Lady F, AK, Issy and Footy, all combined to create a support network that kept me as sane as I ever got. With Keith's full approval, AK and I carried on our increasingly enjoyable physical relationship. I talked with him about it at Christmas, but he was cool with it.

"Pixie, it's not like you are a bloke who is going to steal her from me. In fact, you're the antidote to that possibility. We both know how horny she gets, and love her to bits as I do, there is no way she can do without some sort of sex when I am away. If she's fucking you, she's not fucking some bloke. She did suggest I watch; how would you feel about that?"

I politely declined the kind offer.

AK talked about it to me later.

"What's the problem Squirt? He's a nice man."

"I know, but, well, oh AK, it's silly I know, but I am excited that way only by women."

"But you have never even seen a naked bloke, Squirt, so how do you know?"

"Well, you, Chloe, and Lisa, you all get excited by men, you talk about them, and they make you feel sexy; none of that happens with me. Don't get me wrong, I like Keith, as I did Cris, but the idea of one of them in a room with us just turns me off."

"You think he'd want your pussy?"

"It's not that, AK, though he might, after all he is a man! It's just that the whole idea of being with a man does nothing for me sexually."

She giggled.

"You really are my little lesbian Squirt, aren't you?"

"Thass me!" I replied, giving her a big hug.

And that was the end of that.

One of the delights of the term was watching Issy develop. AK and I were playing in the sitting room with her one morning when, to our utter delight, instead of her usual shuffle, Issy got in her hind legs and staggered to us! It was a delightful moment, and a symbolic one for her and AK.

With Issy more mobile, the regular Wednesday and Friday Mums and babies' groups were no longer enough, she needed company of those her own age, so AK signed them up for a more active "Forest School" which involved her and Issy doing out into the woods with others; Issy loved it and would come back exhausted. It was the most wonderful counterpoint to the sheer business of my life. Issy and AK gave me the balance I might otherwise have lacked.

Lady F was right, I was working too hard, but this was my last chance to do what I knew I could, and I was not going to blow it.

The invitation to the Commission came through, and as its first meetings would be in July, I could leave it on the backburner.

The publication of my little memoir caused a stir, and there were, once again, media interviews and publicity, but now I was able to link it to the work of the Commission and get the debate onto a more positive footing.

My one social outing was Mama's wedding, which took place in early May, before the exams.

AK was a tower of strength, she and Issy accompanied me as my "plus one" (and a half).

As the morning dawned, she sat me down, calmed me, did my hair and make-up, and made sure that, as she put it, I was "all dolled up." My usual little black dress was replaced by a navy-blue smock-style one, which she confirmed suited me. She, of course, looked impossibly gorgeous. Her navy ribbed plunge midi-dress showed just the right amount of her generous cleavage. With Issy in a little sailor dress, we were a matching threesome in terms of colour.

I had kept in touch with Gran, and even with Mama. We arrived at their London home in plenty of time, and, as I had expected, Mama and AK, as ever, got on well; she even fussed over Issy.

The wedding itself was rather a grand occasion. It is not every day that the Lord Chancellor gets married, and political grandees were out in force - as was the press. As I walked with Mama down the aisle at St Margaret's (the Church to the Houses of Lords and Commons), I felt fearfully self-conscious, but also a sense that there was a healing, of sorts. Gran looked splendid in his morning suit, and, as the press agreed, they made a handsome couple.

As the reception afterwards, in the House of Lords dining area, I tended to linger with AK and Issy, and rather ended up minding the latter, as the former seemed to be attracting MPs in the way a fragrant flower does honeybees. It was lovely to see her in her element.

As things began to wind down, Gran came over to find me, playing with Issy in the corner.

"You look a natural, Pixie!"

"Thanks, Gran, and thanks for the difference you have made to Mama."

"She's not a bad woman, Pixie, she is just her. And you know, she is right, I see elements, the best parts, of her in you."

Seized by an impulse, I hugged him.

"What was that for?"

"For helping both of us. We had become stuck in a rut, and you have helped pull us out of it."

"Well, Pixie, I read your memoir, and all I can say is I was happy, am still happy, to be able to help."

"It was your idea, Gran, and I hope the Commission will help."

"It will, and, when your Finals are over, please give me a ring, I want you to meet some people. Best of luck with them."

At that point, Mama came over.

She looked at me.

"It's like I see you anew, Pixie. Seeing you with Issy, I can see you have what I have never had, a maternal instinct."

At that point, Issy reached out for her, and to my amazement, Mama took her.

"Well," I said, "maybe you have a grandma instinct."

"Don't be so bloody cheeky!"

But she smiled when she said, it, and held on to Issy. As she put her down, so Issy could go bother the Prime Minister, she came and hugged me.

"I am sorry for the past, Pixie."

"Me, too, Mama. But let's build on this for a better future."

She smiled at me, and we hugged.

"And, darling, best of luck with the exams."

On the way back to Oxford, AK was sweet.

"Never thought I'd see the day you and your Mama hugged each other?"

"Me neither. But Gran seems to have changed things."

"He does, and he asked me to invite them to my wedding. He's quite dishy for someone his age, Pixie, your Ma has good taste in blokes. God knows what happened with you!"

She teased me all the way back. So, inevitably, when we arrived back and had put Issy to bed, we put ourselves there too.

As we kissed, I looked into her eyes:

"It was good to see you in your element, AK."

"What, surrounded by blokes all trying to eye my tits?"

"Well, if they could see what I see," I whispered, cupping her breasts together so I could suck both nipples at the same time.

"They'd be lucky blokes Pixie! You sure you don't want to be with me and Keith?"

I shut her up by the expedient of rubbing her nipples together as I sucked them.

"Fuck! Pixie, you know how to get me going."

After all this time, I'd have been ashamed if I hadn't.

As I sucked on both nipples together, I wriggled so my thigh was between hers, pressing up into her wetness. I loved the feel of our bodies together, and her scent, as ever, aroused me. She had offered to shower, but we both knew we preferred the natural woman smell.

Pushing my knee into her wetness, then moving it, I used my left hand to cup her pussy, curling a finger to massage her clit. She moaned. One of the great pluses of knowing each other so well, was that I knew how to arouse her in the way we both needed.

Her breasts were always so sensitive to my touch, and I loved them so much, and there were times it was hard not just to stay there - but then our mutual arousal would kick in in a big way.

The moment I touched her clit, my own tingled. She knew that - the way she slipped her hand between my thighs showed that. She mirrored my own actions. I have read that long-term lovers get into boring routines; all I know is that AK has never bored me (except in another sense involving strap ons) for a moment. Our familiarity with each other's erotic triggers allowed us to relax into things - there is none of that tension about will x or y work! For us, a and b lead on through an alphabet of erotic desire.

I pushed her wet nipples together, and, as she was so wet decided to go for her favourite - making my hand into a small fist, I wriggled and pushed against her wetness, loving the noises she made as she let me in. The first time I had done it I had worried so much about hurting her. It is not something I have ever had done to me, or wanted, but AK - well Issy had come out that way, so my fist was nothing - except she loved it.

"Yesssss, fuck Squirt, do it, do me!"

I loved it when she got down and dirty. So, I did her!

Caught up by the twin assaults on her pussy and her tits, she abandoned her attempt to mirror my actions and laid back and let me have my way with her. For all my submissive instincts, with AK, I loved taking charge, as I had with Emma.

As I fisted her, my wrist wet with her desire, I bit both nipples, and she groaned. I knew that with her, the action of my fist set her clit tingling - it just connected with her in a way I could not understand - and had no need to; I could feel and hear the effect.

I looked up into her eyes, clouded as they were with her coming orgasm. She looked so sexy just before she came. It inspired me to twist my wrist a little. That did it. I felt her clench and cum hard. It was one of those with accompanying mini-climaxes, and it took time for her to come down from her high.

I slid my fist out of her wetness and smiled.

"Well, AK, I may not be a hot MP, but I am a hot PP!"

"What's that, Squirt?"

"Pervy Pixie, of course!"

"You are my bloody pervy Pixie love, come here."

She cuddled me into her. I did not wake until the early hours, when I heard Issy stir. AK being flat out, I got up, changed Issy and, giving her the bottle, calmed her down and put her back, before climbing into bed and snuggling up myself. Life was good.

The exams were the great test. They have changed things since my day, but we were the last of those who got ten exams in five days. It was as much a test of endurance and stamina as it was of brainpower.

Dressed in my "sub-fusc" (regulations state black skirt or trousers, dark tights, white blouse, black gown, and academic cap) I left home with AK and Issy to walk to Schools.

I had always been a little amused at the way those on the way to Finals attracted attention - there seemed to be a kind of pervy man who loved to look at girls dressed that way. I mentioned it to AK.

"Well, Squirt, you do look fucking sexy in that get up. I'd have you like a shot!"

That told me.

AK was there to meet me at the end of the day. Two papers down.

She walked me home, where Lady F and Footy awaited me.

They were both relieved when I said it was fine.

Day two was much the same.

Day three was the tough one.

The papers got harder; the more advanced subjects made greater demands.

As I staggered from the building to meet AK, I realised I had lost my voice.

She hugged me and managed to cheer me up.

"Well, Squirt, you won't be able to tell Footy anything - not that you can anyway."

That night was hard. My mind kept running ahead to the forthcoming papers. But finally sleep came. I woke feeling good.

That day, the fourth, I knew I had done well, and as I walked out on day five, with AK and Chloe with a bottle of champagne, I did something I seldom do - I drank in the street. The air was filled with the sound of corks popping. We had done it!

I knew, vaguely, that there had been talk of not having our usual Friday night soirée, and sort of assumed there would not be one; I was wrong.

As I got into the house, it seemed as though no one was there. AK guided me through to the garden - where there were balloons and a sign saying:

"Well done, Pixie!"

And there was Footy, Lady F, Chloe, and Lisa - and - Emma!

I looked stunned; I was stunned.

I felt all eyes on me.

"Thank you, thank you all!"

But there was only one thing I wanted to do.

Emma looked at me uncertainly. I looked at her. I ran to her and flung my arms around her. Lost in her arms, I felt whole again.

The party erupted around me.

We partied into the warm Oxford night. After assuring Footy and Lady F I had survived, I went and sat with Emma while AK and Chloe got the food ready.

"You!"

"Me," she smiled, "I am so, so sorry Pixie."

"For what?"

"For running out like that?"

"As I recall it, I encouraged it. But I must ask, why is it safe now?"

"It probably isn't Pixie, but, well and here's the thing, and if you have changed your mind, I am sorry and will back away, I can't do without you."

My heart melted, and I pulled her to me.

I heard a great sympathetic chorus of "awwwwwww" from the others.

Over supper she explained that she had promised to give it at least six months before having any contact with me. She had kept the promise, but the more she prayed, the more she was convinced that what we had could not be wrong. She had, it turned out been talking with Footy for some time, the latter advising doing nothing until Finals were over. But now they were - and here she was.

"If, that is, you still want me?"

"Sod that, Emma, of course she wants you!" AK interrupted. "I have just been keeping her in practice!"

"Too much information!" Chloe giggled.

"Do you, Pixie?"

"I do, my darling Emma!" And I did.

Tired as I was after the week, I somehow found the strength - and patience - to be the perfect party guest. It was just so sweet of them all to throw a party for me. But they were a tactful lot, and about nine thirty, there was a sudden desire to go home which manifested itself with people realising they had to be up early on Saturday. That made me smile.

"Pixie, you must be tired, why don't you take an early night too?" Lady F smiled. "You can show Emma how little has changed."

As hints went, that was a heavy one, and to smirks from AK and Chloe, Emma and I went to my room.

It felt strange - but familiar.

As I closed the door, I pulled her to me.

"Emma, I have missed you so much! Are you sure? I meant it. I don't want to put your vocation at risk."

"I mean it, Pixie."

As our lips met, I melted inwardly. I had missed her kisses, he scent, the feel of her body, her, her, I had missed her.

We fell together onto the bed, fumbling with our clothes. Down to our underwear, I couldn't wait, I wanted to taste her. Pushing her back onto the bed, I opened her legs and, raising her so that I could pull her knickers down, I pulled her to me and kissed her there. Then, to reinforce our intimacy, I kissed her lips so she could taste herself. As our lips met, an ocean of hurt was suddenly behind me.

I felt our breasts meet again, her soft flesh and hard nipples pressed into me as we kissed and caressed. It felt so good to be with her again. I looked into her eyes:

"I missed you so much, Emma!"

"I missed you too, Pixie!"

Our tongue played, rejoicing in being reunited; I tingled all over.

"You must be tired my love, let me!"

With that, Emma moved above me, her larger breasts swaying. My lips fastened onto one of her nipples; I felt her hand cup my wetness. As she touched me, little erotic shivers ran to my core. I had not realised how much I need this; now I did.

Slowly, she pressed a finger into me, the palm of her hand pushed up against my clit; I moaned. It felt so good; mini-orgasm time. I sucked harder, but in truth, I all but abandoned myself to her ministrations. Sucking at my nipples as she finger-fucked me, I felt all bad tensions go - the only tensions now were my sinews stiffening for the tsunami she was summoning up.

It was blissful just letting her have her way with me. For once I let her. That instinct always to give back was in abeyance; there would be time and enough for that. She wanted to give me this; I wanted her.

Emma took me, lovingly and with care and skill, summoning up the storm until, back arching, pushing onto her hand and finger, it broke; I came and came. I was hers; she was mine. All was right with the world again.