All Comments on 'Holiday Hammer Blow'

Got to laugh at the Aussie Kiwi culture, what prats. When it comes to love, romance, and marriage, take the age of the Aussie/Kiwi, divide by 2, and that is the mindset and the behavior pattern to expect. A 28 year old Aussie/Kiwi acts like they are 14 years old when it comes to love and marriage. They don't seem to grow up before they reach 50. The Lucky Country is also the immature juvenile country.

Tab is Kelly v.2.0, with a more promiscuous subroutine and an operating system so complex and contradictory that no matter what button you push it will probably be the wrong one. And while the program will come to a halt, the error message will be short, cryptic, and useless: Failure to execute; your fault.

Even the author couldn't hide her contempt for her own characters ethics and self respect for himself, his wife, and his marriage. Having his mother and sisters ridicule and condemn him for expecting his wife to maybe discuss their marriage vows before going off for a weekend of extramarital fucking seems prudish or unnatural. Yeah, welcome to the land down under, a rock.

It was an interesting portrayal of a culture of self indulgent disrespectful children who think love means never having to ask permission to fuck somebody else, once in a while, for shits and giggles. Whats the big deal, all the other animals do it?!

Thanks for the exhibition, and the effort.

There were moments that I felt the characters didnt respond the way I was coming to expect, but thats on me. What I didnt like was how, even after a career change, he just happened to find a random girl who became "best friends" with his ex. Too improbable. How did she get to be "best friends" with Elise? Only Kelly played netball. How did tab get so in with these people in such a short time? When she forced Dave to go to the party it was like saying she was choosing these people over his feelings....just like Kelly. I expected it to be over for them at that point. It was pretty well writen, but the premise of the girls getting together a secret little plan to swap was too big to swallow. And why would Gary, his best friend, give Kelly a bunch of hickies all over thighs? Thats like saying Fuck You to your bff. Why wasnt kelly ultra pissed when she seen them? Why wasnt Elise pissed at Gary? why write that in anyway? To many things overlooked to move the story down your path. Overall it was fine but left me dissatified. Thanks for writing tho.

Totally have to agree with Wackadoodle on this one. Dave is a horrible person Kelly is far better off without him. He needs serious therapy before he kills someone in a peak of anger. No real man would act so childish.

superb!

I thought this was probably the most realistic Loving Wives story on this site. Dave acted like any true married man, and came unglued when he found out his wife had cheated on him. Even if the girl who was supposed to hook up with him, he probably would have turned her down, as he had high standards/morals, and really loved his wife. Even if her friend Elise was the main instigator of the swap, it was her husband and his best friend that cheated on him (Dave) with Dave's wife and destroyed their marriage. I really liked that Dave got in a few good punches on Gary, just to show him how unhappy he was about it. I'm glad he walked out on her with his respect intact. The number one thing Dave wouldn't be able to get back, and no one could figure it out was TRUST. That's the hardest thing to get back. And her cheating on him, broke that trust. If you read a few Loving Wives stories, that's the first thing broken (besides vows) and the last thing rebuilt (if a RAAC story).

I'm glad he found Tab, and was able to move forward with his life, even if it included his ex-wife, and all of his ex-friends. Like it's been said, what happens in the past before you hook up with someone is just that the past. Now if it had happened while they were together or married it would be a different story. I'm glad that Tab and Dave got back together at the end.

I feel the story needed a part 2 or an epilogue at the minimum, as I felt there was more to be told. I liked the story, and it flowed at a good pace and kept the reader involved, so I gave it 5 stars.

What a completely horrible main character. I kept hoping for him to end up alone and miserable. Yes it was totally fucked what they did without talking about it first. The way he acted after the fact was just pathetic. So hard to root for him. I wanted Kelly to find a new love and end up happy.

Same shit, different story. I think you need a real therapist at this point. Writting out the same thing over and over does not help.

I enjoy all your stories, but the ending on this one felt rushed.

Great story!

5

Your story was a bit repetitive but as a story I loved it. 5* I’ve read a few of your back catalogue now, your an incredible writer.

There wasn't a single character in the story that I could stand. The whole story was just painful.

Obviously Kelly and their friends were totally in the wrong. Swinging, being a totally different way of thinking about the relationship than monogamy, requires consent while neither she nor any of the others seemed to think his should be required nor that it was anything serious.

When he finds out she still can't accept it is a big deal. She never does take it seriously. His mother and sisters all paint him as the bad guy-do they have loose morals too? Then she invites the friends that he's so mad at and made clear he won't talk to over to speak to him, including the former best friend that fucked his wife, then when he reacts so strongly she goes out to ward them off and ... I guess not caring what he thinks or that he means what he says, brings them in anyway and gives him hell when things don't go well.

Why on earth would he even think about getting back with her? They seemed to be in no way compatible.

Then she agrees to freeze the former friends out, and ... tries to make him the bad guy when he wants to keep them out. Why did he reconcile again?

Then he gets together with a slut who comes on to married men and when he doesn't want to talk about something just pushes until he does, after trying to push he and his wife together at the party. Tab seems an awful choice for him as well.

Ok, Gazza and Marty got the punches they deserved, the wife wasn't ever contrite (just fake apologetic that she didn't mean) and lived happily ever after and only Dave suffered-and ended up in a relationship with someone that wasn't really compatible with him. This whole story was way too painful for me.

But then, all of this gives the story more twists, making it interesting-just painful for me. I'd have Dave just move out immediately on Kelly returning, the divorce being applied for immediately and the protagonist moving on to look for someone whose values were something like his, way too simple to make an interesting story.

Good first half of a story when the husband had a set of balls. Then as usual you turn him into a wimp in the second half. No way in hell he would be around any of those "friends" period. Much less start regularly socializing with them no matter how he felt about Tab. You and apparently Randi have no idea on how real men's minds work and it shows.

Quite a long story, which isn't a bad thing but it tended to drag a little with issues being repeated and overworked, but all in all a good story. There were a couple of issues though, not faults and maybe deliberately included. First was the swapping plan: might have seemed a good idea to one or a couple of people, but having six people involved and not thinking at least one would be adverse to it was pretty idiotic, that part was a bit unrealistic in my humble opinion. Also, and somewhat more significant was the main character: Dave's character was well described and his initial reactions were understandable, unfortunately the longer the story went on the more sympathy he lost, culminating in the argument with Tab, when he came across as a bit of a twat. My thinking after the reunion and happy ending was that it'd only be a matter of time before she says or does something and he'll blow up again, blaming her and the world for everything that ever went wrong in his life.

A lot of readers will disagree and perhaps have a more strict moral code than me, but as much as I considered Dave to be the victim I believe, in the end he brought most of his suffering on himself by being too emotionally rigid.

A well worked story if the emotional turmoil was intended and I do enjoy reading something that makes me think.

The three women's little plot was so incredibly stupid as to be unbelievable. That problem keeps recurring for me throughout. If Kelly really did that, she must not have had any idea of who her husband was. She paid the price. A good story, but the flaw kept bothering me. Nevertheless, it did arouse my anger at the start. If a story can arouse visceral reactions, it's a start.

I've got to agree with Mr Doodle, who wrote, "Your protagonist is the most self-centered, idiotic, asinine, judgemental rapist you have ever written. There was nothing redeeming about him and no reason for anyone to want to be with him.

He hurt Kelly because he wanted to and did it in the most vicious way possible.

He used violence to intimidate everyone he disliked or disagreed with and forced them to accommodate to his whims.

Frankly, everyone would have been better off without him."

The story was well written enough that I finished it, and it's unusual for me to read a seven page story. But Dave, as written, was a waste case. Yeah, I can understand that even though Kelly didn't think she cheated, because he was going to get to fuck Maike, Dave did, was tremendously angry, and that was it, he was going to divorce her.

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But even with that, Dave, a man who was initially an accountant -- supposedly a calm and collected type -- was consumed with bitterness and anger for way longer than any normal human being should be. He was angry through moving, he was angry through a career change, he was angry through occasional side fucks, and he was angry through Tabitha. That's the kind of guy who's going to suddenly get a surprised look on his face and be dead before he hits the ground.

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"We all flirted and fooled around together. It was all innocent fun, but it did get a bit heated from time to time." OK, so how is it that a guy who got so outraged when the swap happened had been part of a sextet that flirted and fooled around all the time? Dave was written as too much of a prig for that to be true.

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Dave said that Gazza was his best friend and damn sure would have known that he'd never go along with a swap meet, and should have put a stop to it. So, if Gazza should have known, why wouldn't his own wife know that? He may have known Gazza a lot longer, but he slept with Kelly, every night.

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Mr Sworder got it right, saying "A far more likely outcome to this story is Dave leaving town after filing for divorce. He lost his wife, best friend, his career, his circle of friends, and his family (for taking Kelly's side). There was literally nothing keeping him there any longer, but loads of horrible memories if he stayed. He should've ghosted everybody, moved away, started a new career, and made a completely new life for himself." Dave really, seriously, needed to get over himself, but he just couldn't. He knew Tabitha wasn't a virgin, but he managed to get all wound up over how much not a virgin she was.

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Well, guess what? If you meet a woman, especially with a few years on her, who really likes sex, she's going to have a 'number' you might not like. Either accept it, or move on.

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How could a prig like Dave live in a country like New Zealand, with a prime minister who had a bastard child while in office? Someone written the way Dave was couldn't have tolerated that!

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Dave was, of course, very upset by the fact that Kelly not only fucked Gazza, but enjoyed it. Dude, if you have a wife who enjoys sex -- and every man wants a wife who enjoys sex! -- why would you ever think that she couldn't enjoy sex with someone else? Tabitha liked sex, but, Heavens to Betsy, she had liked sex with other men before Dave! For someone who was supposedly so good in bed as Dave was, he sure was insecure.

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Dave needed to take a boat over and move to Australia, then live in the wild, with no one around him, because he has a real problem with real life. Dave said, in the beginning, "I liked numbers; they didn't argue, there was no drama and they always made sense." Yup! People were his problem.

Yes, very talented writer…making poor plot decisions.

What Powersworder said.

Great story, it keeps you tense until the end. The boy in the story remains firm at all times and although he seems somewhat stubborn, I agree with him. Another thing is to have enough will to be faithful to our principles. Very entertaining and exciting story.

For how close the 6 friends were supposed to be it's amazing how totally the other 5 screwed Dave over when it came to the holiday weekend "swap".

1. Elise - comes up with the whole swap idea. Even when the other wives don't like the idea she keeps pushing until they agree with her horrible idea. After her idea has destroyed the marriage of two supposedly "good" friends she takes no responsibility and is still putting the blame on Dave well after the divorce is finalized.

2. Maike - Ok, I get that she was too insecure and shy to go through with seducing and having sex with Dave. If she felt like she couldn't go through with it, she should have told him what was going on while they were in the car on their way to where they were going mountain biking. If she goes through with her part of the scheme or if she tells him what the scheme is ... he has a chance to make a choice and from that point forward he can be at least partially responsible for what happens. Keeping her mouth closed the whole weekend really betrayed him.

3. Kelly - She knew this was a bad idea. She told Elise no. Why did she cave in after two days of badgering from Elise? After being married to Dave for that many years, if she loved him as much as she claims to ... she should have known him well enough to know this wouldn't go over well with him. So ... again, why did she agree to this scheme? Then when he came home and she found out he hadn't slept with Maike and didn't have a clue what happened ... instead of confessing, she spent the evening on the phone in whispered conversation with the "friends" and apparently the plan they came up with was for her to hide everything and pretend it didn't happen? Go to bed wearing a bra and full length nightgown when you normally sleep naked? Then when confronted she never took responsibility, just kept telling him it was a game, it was a silly mistake, she didn't mean anything by it ...

4. Gary. Best Friends for 20 years and you don't know that there is no way Dave would go for this type of swap? Especially when he wasn't asked about it ahead of time and gets blind sided by it on the fly? He can say what he wants about thinking with the wrong head ...but, I agree with Dave. If there was one person who absolutely should have known how he would feel about the situation ... it should have been Gary. Lets not forget that he left Kelly's breasts and inner thighs "covered" in love bites. Even if the scheme had gone off according to plan and Dave had fun with Maike .. I think he still would have been pissed to find Kelly marked up like that by his best friend. That just seemed like a deliberate attempt to rub Dave's face in the fact that Gary had his way with Kelly.

5. Marty. Initially I thought he was pretty much innocent in all of this. But, if there was one person who should have had a good idea that Maike wouldn't uphold her part of the plan and might even just keep her mouth shut the entire weekend ...it should have been her loving husband. But, I guess he was so excited at getting to screw Elise that he didn't give a thought to anyone else in the group. At the very least he should have had the thought to call his wife and find out where her head was at. Couldn't be bothered though.

With a group of friends like this. And then you've got even the family taking Kelly's side ... Dave never had a chance. Considering how screwed over he was at every turn by the people he should have been able to count on ... it's amazing he didn't just go postal on everyone.

4* Summary: The British Empire

has no morals or ethics. Wedding vows are worthless. Dave is the only character with morality and served justice on cheaters. If he marries Tabby, he better keep a close eye on her, especially with Elise and Kelly nearby.

The "Good first half..." comment is spot on. Moreover, the second half is mired in Oprahesque psychobabble and "feelings". The MC exudes estrogen in the second half.

Is there a reason he couldn't find his own friends? Is there a reason he couldn't meet new people who didn't associate with his ex? I just think it's weird he wasn't able to keep them away from his life. My issue with this story other than it being way too long and boring, is His "friends" don't seem to think there was anything wrong with the swap. They made it seem like he was the asshole. That irked me. If they didn't see anything wrong with what they were gonna do, then why didn't they tell him? If it was up to his ex wife and his ex friends they would've all kept it a secret. Had he not find the love bites between his ex legs they NEVER would've told him about it. This is what happens when you associate and marry people that doesn't have the same moral compass on marriage as you do. True friends don't bang their friends mates. It was their nonchalant "oh, come on Dave, what guy wouldn't want to bang a hot chick"? Umm, lots of guys😒😒. Happily married guys🤨. guys who take their vows seriously🤨😒🤨..That's who. If they want to open up their marriage, that's their business. But don't force it on me. I felt like they were upset and considered him a wimp cause he didn't want to bang his friends wives. I wouldn't want to be friends or associate with them. Did they even say they were sorry or did they say they were sorry for him being hurt? There's a difference. I don't believe him and his wife had anything in common honestly. Example the vacation that ruined their marriage. It's weird his wife picked something he knew he wouldn't want to do. I've been married for 15 years and been with my hubby for 19yrs. He is not only my bestfriend, we have a million things in common. We literally complete each other's thoughts and sentences. I wouldn't of planned a trip where I knew he wouldn't enjoy. It felt like nobody took his feelings and what he wanted into consideration. Like his ex wife when she agreed to not have anything to do with those people. Only for her to continously force them on him. Fuck how he feels, fuck what he wants. I'm gonna once again betray his trust and secretly invite them over. so they can corner him and force him to listen to their bullshit. That included tabby. Those are her friends. Fine. I just don't want to be around those people. Nobody respected him enough to give a damn about what he wanted. Not even his own fucking mother. Maybe if he told them all (mom and all) to go fuck themselves with a rusty screwdriver. They all would've backed off and respected his stance on marriage then. They made it seem like there was something wrong with wanting a wife/friends he can trust. This story was just way too long, weepy and boring🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️

Never have I read about a man who needs therapy more.

Guy is a dumbass and deserves to have NO friends. 2**

Great story like all your others. Only negative was constantly swapping Gary and Gazza because it was confusing until I realized it was the same person.

Timriv. You and Whacknut hardly qualify as real men. So stay in your cucky, wimpy lane and don't try to speak for real men.

What to say...

Garry deserved the kicking he got and more... even if it had been an agreed to swap. He showed total disrespect for his supposed best-friend by marking Kelly. If what Dave said at the end was true, that Gary knew his stance on it and went ahead anyway, that just makes matters worse. It makes sense that Gary did know, hence not calling Dave as he knew the answer and wanted his chance with Kelly.

Marty deserved a slap for getting in the way.

Elise was just a horrible cunt.

Kelly was stupid and should have known that Dave would have turned Maike down, even if he was told of the plan.

Maike was another stupid one in knowing she couldn't go through with it, at the very least should have spoken to Kelly. I doubt Elise would have given a shit and screwed Marty anyway.

Tab is stupid if Kelly truly has told her all the details, she should run very fast.

Dave, while I feel some sympathy for what happened to him and have no qualms about the way he treated Garry and Marty and their wives. As soon as Kelly screamed at him to stop he had to anything after that was rape and inexcusable. The fucker should have his cock and balls chopped off. Kelly should tell Tab about what he's like if he gets pissed off so she can get away.

I can understand sort of a little bit tolerating the others being in the same room eventually but I would struggle with everyone taking their side when (before the rape) he was the one that was wronged. I really can't see him building more than a cordial relationship with Kelly due to Tab, but even that I think is a push.

Can only give this a 1 primarily due to what Dave did to Kelly and yet this was never properly acknowledged by him (as the narrator) or challenged by Kelly even by warning Tab. The author is in control of the universe and let him get away with that. Without that scene or even if he stopped and stormed away when she screamed I would have gone with a 4 or 5 probably.

This guy is putting up with lot's of shit...his sisters,mother and his fucked up friend's. He should grow a set of balls. May was his best choice.

@ Timriv of course you would take up for kelly and think Dave was being unreasonable. You're a cheater yourself aren't you? I read your bio cheater, you cheated on your wife. ( your high school sweetheart) and she kicked your cheating ass to the curb, didn't she?.. kudos to her!!!👍👍👍. Nothing worse than a cheater who doesn't understand vows!. If kelly and her whore friends wasn't doing anything wrong, why didn't they not only planned it but kept it a secret from him?. If they were true friends and gave a shit about him, his marriage their relationship with him, why did they think he'd be ok with this swap? They've been friends for year's, it would seem they'd know how he feels about FIDELITY. they tried to force him to open up his marriage. Those are not friends and damn sure not a spouse . He didn't have anything compatible with any of them in regards to friendship and marriage. They disregarded his feelings, his morals and their friendship, all the way to the end. they all still think he made a big deal out of nothing. That tells me they aren't sorry it happened. They're sorry he wasn't jumping at the idea of swapping with them. They crossed a boundary. Kelly is a whore just like the rest of her "friends".. I wish dave got rid of every single of them and never speak to any of them. And kelly live a miserable whore filled life. Marriage is not for any of these people except dave. He seemed to be the only one who knows the true meaning of friendship and vows. To bad the writer turned him into a loser wimp with no friends. with a slut wife and an even sluttier new slut girlfriend and his ex gutter trash friends. What a crappy life for dace

Dave is, was and will be a stupid arsehole and as was pointed out in the story a pretentious prick. Mistakes were made. I would like to have seen the story move in a different direction which allowed the divorce to happen and then the group get together, Kelly meets a good guy and Dave gets left in the quagmire of his own making and goes through life a bitter sour individual. No tears from me.

Nope. You want us to embrace a woman becoming a slut and disrespecting her husband. If she wants to be a whore do him the favor of divorcing him first. He didn’t want that lifestyle and isn’t the bad guy in this scenario. He dumps the first slut but then you make him a weaker version of himself and hook up with another whore. Just didn’t work sad and stupid. Ridiculous

Terrible ending, the female characters are not likable, the males are weak. I like the idea, but this was not your best work

You are a very good writer, so keep writing..

As a general rule, is it easier for a male to write a lead female character or vice versa, a female write a male lead character?

Sad how someone can stab you in the back and you are supposed to allow them to get away with doing it because it was an unintentional mistake. "I didn't know the gun was loaded and I will never do it again." You never point guns at people even if you know they are unloaded. If he had drugged of forced her it might have been unintentional. She knew. She felt him marking her. It was covered up. She got what she was seeking. Stupid was no excuse. Then instead of confessing the second she knew she had made a mistake she lied to cover it up. I love how she was devastated she was left behind. She should have come clean. When you are married you do not frick around with someone other than your spouse. End of story! She cuckolded her husband. All their friends knew it.

I gave this story a 4, mainly because of the ending. It just felt incomplete. Other than that, I really liked it. A previous comment talked about the guy going from a 'real' man to a 'wimp', but I disagree with that. I can completely understand the guy doing what he did in both the breakup and the relationship with Tab. The only real weak point I can see is the friendship between Tab and Kelly. How could they have been such good friends without him having met Tab in a previous social gathering? Just my two cents...

1 star

Usually, I don't bother going in-depth as to why, but here I'll make an exception: Tab and everyone else don't respect his boundaries. What he wants doesn't matter to any of them, he's the one who has to submit, to adapt and change, while they just march on. What's that? Ex wife back into life? Oh you got to be friends with them.

Whatever happened to just cutting out people like that from your life completely? Why not just leave Tab if he knew the ex and the old circle of friends would be part of his life? He wasn't in love. He didn't care.

This just seems so fucking pointless.

This story was total rubbish full of peer pressure and bullying. From his supposed circle of friends to his mum, sisters and Tab telling him to suck it up. Nasty business!!

It is a good story, good plot line, suspense, etc. I didn't like any of the characters. Trouble is, how could it be these people know each other well and not know that swapping wives did not mean "swapping wives" especially, after a little over night junket? The only it works, is if Dave went along so he could set up to play the "victim" and be in a power position to jerk his wife around. Which explains his attraction to Tab. With her past, she is a perfect stooge, for Dave to do a repeat. I probably know of people who could pull such a stunt, and it bothers me a little that I could imagine it.

To long for this little boy scarse away every girl is violent and brutal. I prefare he stay's alone because he is not ready to be emotional involved. A hypocrate to judge other. It show's in his words "she bangs half of Auckland" .

You did better with other stories. 3* for your writing

My observation has been that most authors (pro as well as amateur) do a poor job of writing characters who are different from themselves. Not just different genders, but different cultures, races, religions, etc. And screenwriters seem to be even worse at it.

Wow, what a roller coaster. Great story, well written, well plotted, and emotional as hell. Great job.

In the end all Dave asked of Kelly was to give up her sleezy friends. Kelly wouldn't but instead chooses to divorce him. Tab pushes Dave into again being part of the sleezy group even though she knows his history, and that he does not want to. Then she walks out. Dave you should have fucked Kelly again and sent the photos to Tab. Then moved on from them both.

There is a lot here to unpack. Overall I like the story but I don't like the MC very much. I wouldn't expect to remain friends with any of the group, and probably would have done the same with the wife, but the way he reacts to them all sounded whiny... maybe it's just me. As for the situation, why would she allow the guy to mark her up all weekend, even if it was an approved swap? The whole setup kinda fell flat for me and his attitude towards Tab sucked. Thank you for sharing with us.

Cgirl often writes weak male protagonists. This story, not so much. Good on her for writing about a man with a backbone. I especially liked him beating on Gary. This smacks of reality, since Gary walked uninvited into his house, despite warnings.

There are a few weak plot points. how could Kelly and Tab be best friends and he not know her when married to Kelly. But, accepting that near fatal flaw as real (suspension of disbelief) then the rest of the story flows well. The ending was weak. Needed a climax of sorts to make it a 5 star story. But, on the whole, well done. I am pleasantly surprised, since Cgirl often disappoints me with her wimp men, though the writing is always done well. Thank you for giving us a real, believable male with morals and conviction.

Wow! OK, Kelly may have made a big mistake, but what a whiny and completely unlikable character Dave is. There is no way normal people of any sex would carry on trying to be his friend in real life. His wife was well rid of him and why on earth would a fun loving Tab want to be with him baffles me.

Loved the story although I, like the Anon before me, thought the ending was too abrupt. 4 stars and I'd love to see an epilogue!

Romantic story and it ended well. I agree with the husband in the story. He stood his ground even though everyone else thought he was wrong. Thanks for the story

I am part of the one and done crowd. I believe there can be one possible exception for a “unplanned” one-time adultery (but even drunk is a stretch.) There was nothing unplanned in this story. The wife (Kelly) was stupid, she thought that her husband would be OK with swapping without talking to him which made the “swap” adultery. Did she really know him? She did not understand that her husband took his vows seriously. Clearly if the husband had been told he would have talked his wife out of it. She and their “friends” destroyed their marriage.

Based upon what was written I believe that Gary (Gazza) the husbands (Dave) lifelong friend knew how Dave felt about fidelity and betrayed Dave when Gary went along with the “swap.” Then Gary did the unpardonable by “marking” Kelly. What kind of “friend” would do that to this best friend’s wife? The wife tried to hid the fact that she was “marked.” It is not believable that should could pull off hiding the fact she had been marked until she healed. Kelly’s one chance was to come clean as soon as she learned there was no swap and roll the dice on her marriage. She hid what happened and doomed their marriage by breaking her vows and any trust.

The one thing that I wish the author had done was to have had Dave take pictures of Kelly’s love bites. Every time someone tried to talk to him about what happened and forgiving everyone. He could have shown them (mother, sisters, others?) the graphic evidence. He could have shown what kind of a “good friend” Gary turned out to be. I do not agree with emailing the pictures to anyone.

Kelly being marked by Gary was pointed out by others. I do believe like others that Dave’s relationship with Tab is likely doomed if Dave is forced to continue to meet with Gary and Elise.

Excellent story and thought provoking as evidenced by the comments. 5*

Another excellently written story from one of the site's top writers.

5*, of course.

Well I enjoyed this storey, unlike some of the comments below, I gave it a 5. Would love to see the storey continue. Keep up the writing, you are one of the best on this site.

Waikiekieboy.

Really good story, it ended a bit abruptly, but I liked it. 5,

Bit nothingy for me but okayish as well so 3 from me

JJ

This was a tough one. Dave was not a likable character. Kelly really did a job on him. Tab was a older women with his issues tearing down all female relationships. Is this the ending. They kiss and make up.

On a personal level, I did date a few birds,

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I'm confused why was this guy dating flying animals after he divorced his wife?

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Which type of flying birds that he like? Owls ? Pelicans? Eagles?

Feel unfinished.

Writing was well done, but the story needs alot of rewrite.

The guy marked her, rubbing the husbands face in it.

No normal guy would ever see let alone speak to them again.

And a new girl with the ex as a best friend, nope.

The author doesnt understand guys at all, cause this story just doesnt ring true in the main hubands behavior.

Flesh out the story and correct a few far out things.

For example they had an ongoing affair. I mean what wife, who should know her husband best, would not see his reaction coming?

She didnt check with the husband, she just cheated and let the guy mark her?

And what wife would want a husband that would cheat cause he didnt know about swapping, he would think he was cheating.

No just not thought out well, needs a rewrite or a followup to fix it.

Love all the comments. I only have one question that hasn't been answered. Why in the world would anybody, in their right mind, go along with a swapping scheme like this. You can't tell me that nobody thought there wasn't going to be sex. Dave was so into his marriage, but still went out with another woman and allowed his wife to go with a pussy hound? Not in my world. But then this is loving wives and anything goes. Right? It's just a story. Isn't that what I read a lot in the comment section. Yeah, it's just a story, don't get your ass all worked up. Right!

What a stupid story... 'nuff said.

A male character that was well written. I am not a macho man and neither are my friends. Not one of us would have acted any differently than Dave. His wife knew his beliefs as did his best mate . They knew he would have turned it down so went about it differently. We also would have disowned all participants. Nicely done. Tc ireland.

good story,

I would have liked to know what Gary was doing marking Kelli. Did she know he was marking her, did she try to stop him? What about Marty and Elise and their weekend? Was she marked up too? How did Marty and Gary respond when they first found out about the swap. How did Kelli let Gary know what the girls had planned? Did Elise tell Gary before he left with Kelli, or was it Garys idea all along?

Maybe a part 2 might answer some of these questions.

Thank you for your story. I have liked all of your stories that I have read so far.

Feels unfinished to me. Pity, because the situation was interesting, and I would like to think Tab and Dave have a chance. It does seem a little far fetched that the wives would set up a swap without telling the husbands, and none of them had a thought about "wait a minute, what if..."

What a great story. Loved it!

Good story but kind of "okay, I've run out of steam guess I'll stop here" ending.

Big tell and a missed opportunity for the author were the love bites / hickies. The confrontation at the party was perfect time to bring them up, for all to hear. Just the question, " So what about marking Kelly up? What was that about other than for me to see them, for you to rub my nose in it that you'd been there?" And just shut up. Let him squirm while Kelly was embarrassed and Elise looked on. Might have changed a few onlookers minds / attitudes and would have made Dave's position on "making up" with Gary very clear.

I know it's needed for the story, but why didn't the wives tell them what they planned? Or why didn't Maike put a move on Dave?

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"I never thought for a moment that you would turn down a chance to sleep with Maike." - He DIDN'T turn down a chance, she never gave him a chance.

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I'll make one of my usual arguments: What if it was the guys who organized the swap, and Gazza wimped out, would she forgive Dave?

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"Yeah, and if I went off for a dirty weekend with some other bird, you'd be okay with that?" - She says yes, but only under the terms of the weekend. If he had done something on his own he'd be ded meat.

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"It was a concerted attack from all of them." - Ganging up on him isn't going to help. SOMEBODY has to take his side. He IS the offended party, "mistake" or not. And he was right, Gazza should have called him to confirm that it was okay.

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For someone who was so anxious to make love to him, she should have been dripping.

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"I'll do anything." Okay, we cut them out of our lives. "Okay." Then she tries to weasel them back in and gets mad at him. If they mean that much to her, give him the separation, then she can see them whenever she wants.

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"Maike never got anything out of that weekend, but she didn't kick up a fuss like this." - By her own choice.

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"Oh, for heavens sake, it was just sex." - "It was just sex, the cheater's mantra. "Even Maike? She's the cause of all this by not either holding up her end, or telling Dave what was going on.

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"There were, of course, parties and functions, which involved all her friends." - I would compromise by going to parties and functions, where I could mingle with others, but not intimate get-togethers.

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"Christ, who turns down a fox like Maike? No real man, that's for sure." - He didn't turn her down, though he would have. She never offered. Nice touch saying that he wasn't a real man!

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"Or at least I should have told you." - Yep, then he could have called Kelly and TRIED to put a stop to things.

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"She tried to play it down, but it did become somewhat of a sore point with us, and it caused more than one argument." - I don't think he's being unreasonable, asking his girlfriend to not share intimate details with his ex-wife.

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"Pity you couldn't have been that understanding for Kelly." - There's a HUGE difference between before they even met to after they were married.

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Why the fuck does she cry over him, but shuts him out?

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God, I was afraid he was going to end back up with Kelly. Kudos to Kelly for pushing him and Tab back together.

Liked it, but surely you can give us a better ending. Too thin

I would like to hear the conversation when Kelly or Elise ask Gary if he knew what would happen when they are drunk or alone and he says Yes.

The love bites is what stood out to me, and any other male on this planet. Marking another mans wife is the ultimate “fuck you, she belongs to me now”. Garry wanted the MC to know he had claimed his wife, and obviously held a grudge of sorts. How that was never brought up to Elise, Garry, or any of the circle of friends is a huge missed opportunity of real world WTF were you thinking…he’ll, he never even asked Kelly why she allowed Garry to mark her up in the first place. The fact she allowed it, and even thinking her husband was swapping like her, she had to know there would be no way the MC would be cool with that.

The story was rolling along okay until the last page and then it just sort of sputtered to a slow halt. Meh.

Elise is one wicked bitch. Glad to hear Kelly and her had a falling out. I was waiting for Maike to say she'd STILL go with him if he wasn't with Tab.

There were so many ways this story could have been fleshed out. 3.5 *s

Interesting story. Thanks for sharing!

I did think the MC was pretty harsh when it came to Kelly. Not sure if I could handle the infidelity myself but it was obviously a huge error in judgement on the part of the wives. Compare this to Jezzaz's "Out of Love" story where the MC is shattered by what happens but eventually forgives his wife for the mistake.

Easy 5* but won't go into the HOF. I think the ending needed just a little more to let us know where Tab & Dave were emotionally. The ending didn't have the weight that the great character detail/development deserved.

Thanks for sharing & looking forward to you next submission.

Cheers!

Dasvidaniya, C'est la Vie, Besame Mucho

I've read this one several times now. Dave, the main character, has serious anger and trust issues. Sounds like he had them well before Kelly and the girls setup the "proper swap." Tab's in for a world of hurt unless Dave gets professional help.

Ending did not match it’s buildup. Too fast. Otherwise, good story.

Look...this author does great character development. You feel like you know them well in most of her stories.

Then she does her utmost to make the main male character out to be the unreasonable bad guy for getting cheated on and fucked over.

We ALL know those people in our circle of friends who are NEVER going to agree to swapping or spouse sharing.

This MC was never going to go along with it. Its probably why Maike didn't ever get up the courage to be able to even tell him about it. And his best friend from their youth had to KNOW that this would go badly. His wife had to know it would end badly. Yet his best friend actually puts lovers marks ON HER BODY! In my opinion the best friend should have gotten a lot worse than what he got.

And the dialogue and interactions between him and his mother and his sisters...and then with the wife and then Tab...was just painful bordering on ridiculous.

First of all...during breakups in my own life...my mother had opinions. She had been close to one ex because of grand kids. She listened...she was empathetic. She shared with me when I asked. She was supportive. But NEVER EVER did she butt into things. To tell me to forgive or make up when I felt strongly one way or another. Why? Because if she had? I would have simply told her to keep her arse out of things. That's it. And I would have told my dad the same thing. He never tried to get in the middle. Ever. He knew better. Supportive. Helpful. Expressed empathy like a father does. But he knew I would not hesitate to tell him to take his advice and shove it. If any of my siblings ever tried to jump into the middle of my relationships? They would know what the outcomes would be. I'd fuck up either of my brothers if they tried...just like I'd expect they would do to me if I butted into their lives in an unwanted way.

This author describes a man who looks at fidelity and cheating in black and white terms. Cuts his entire circle of close friends out of his life. Walks away from his wife immediately. Done. Decision made. Then goes on the entire story telling us that he just takes this abuse from his mother and his sisters. It doesn't add up. It's a hole in her story. If he basically tells at Elise to fuck off and calls her a slut whore to her face? Punches his best friend repeatedly? I mean kicks his ass. Resigns the next day from his great job because of the awkwardness of working with his ex-best friend's father. Yet allows his sisters to heap abuse repeatedly for sticking to what he believes is right? Hah. Not bloody likely.

And...there is no way in God's green earth any of the dialogue between him and Tab regarding having to deal with his ex and any if the other asshole group of friends happens the way this author describes it. The story itself doesn't describe his early relationship with Tab as any deep seeded, universe altering relationship. It was essentially a good friends with benefits relationship.

Here's how all that would actually go down and I'm not gonna a take the time to use quotation marks-

Hey babe. There's this party I wanna go to this weekend. Will you go with me?

Sure Tabs. Where? What's the occasion?

Well...a bunch if the team is getting together at a club and we are all gonna a have a bunch of extended friends there as well. It'll be fun.

So Kelly is gonna be there? And by a bunch of extended friends...

Yes Dave. Kelly and all your old mates will probably be there.

Sorry. Not interested. Not going. Have fun.

Why? I want you to be there. What's the big deal?

You know the entire story. I hate all of them. They caused me the most pain I have ever had in my life with their stupid decisions. I think they are slime. And I'm not going to be around horrible toxic people. My choice. I'm not going. That's it. Dont ask me again.

He walks away.

That's it.

She asks again? The relationship ends. They are not in love anyway. Meh. Idiotic to write a character who would push this on a male character she has written like this. Makes no sense. And she writes that he just continues to take this shit from her? It does not add up. If my new significant other tried to encourage me to hang out with my ex and the asshole ex-friend of mine she cheated with? Hah. It's just absurd. It would never happen.

And if things ended with Tab?

She goes back to being the office slag he finds out she has been in the past anyway. Maybe she can find 3 hunky guys next time to make her airtight? Then she can share that experience with the other envious sluts she hangs out with.

He moves on and finds an actual woman who is beautiful. Faithful. Perhaps shares his interest in biking. And who wont keep trying over and over to put him into horrible (and potentially violent) social situations with the people who betrayed him. He is young. Handsome. In great shape. And making loads of cash in real estate. It wont take him long.

That's how the story would actually end up.

This was okay,just beating around the bush so much.

If a woman/partner can't understand your point of view,then it's obvious that they don't understand you at all.

So,a slut like Tab taking over an innocent woman,in my opinion considering her excusable mistake,is rather a childish act.

You should have forgiven her once, that's how life works otherwise, this story shows how fucked up many people out there are

. There are many points brought up in the comments that warrant review by the author, whether for a rewrite or simply for future stories. I agree the "swap surprise" was a plot trick and weakly supported by the arguments in the story. Gary's application of love-bites to Kelly was a real prick move, insulting the hubby and the other conspirators. The difference between sexploits experienced before an exclusive relationship begins and those that violate the exclusive/marital vows are worlds different. The MC can't hold a pledge (I'll never talk to Gary again, etc.) yet expects vow perfection among his buds. The story conclusion is rushed.

. Overall, a very enjoyable and engaging story. Cagivagurl is clearly improving in story structure and the supporting grammar and punctuation elements. Still room to improve, but the efforts are recognized and appreciated.

. Keep 'em comin'.

well written, dave did the right thing, no man would stand for a wife or friends doing such a thing behind each others back. His best friend in my case would have had a hard time walking for the rest of his life. Marking up Daves wife to boot?! as far Tab goes, Dave should not have beat around the bush and set the ground rules immediately and with NO doubt as to ANY contact instigated with Daves former friends by Tab indicates her relationship with him is of lesser value then hers to those friends, hence no future between them. When Dave heard and Tab verified her past sex life even involving several threesomes he should have Run. A sluts a slut. But I guess a female writer feels it not important and should be over looked. If one studies history, you learn history repeats itself just the names and places change. none the less a decent well written fiction. JK

Exceptionally imaginative and well-crafted story. I personally disliked every single last character in it, but that's what's so good about well-written fiction: you don't have to be happy with the story to appreciate the talent and work that went into it. Well done!

Good writing. Good characters. I would grumble a bit that, while being stuck in this guy's head, it got annoying to recycle inside the mental grind again and again with the hate & betrayal, more encounters with the same traitors. Part of that was because the "universe" was too small; it felt like a play, with the same players reappearing in 2nd & 3rd acts. Auckland has 1.4mil. The new gf does not need to suddenly be new bestie with his ex. What you find as an interesting dynamic to play with was phenomenological incorrigibility--and excruciating!

When a character says, "Please let me explain" 4 or 5 times, instead of just explaining whatever they need to explain, it makes me immediately have a bad reaction to the tale. It is akin to saying, "May I ask you a question?" Just ask the fucking question. Just give the fucking explanation. It reminds me of movies where a character is running to avoid machine gun fire, and the guy with the machine gun is inexplicably unable to pivot as fast as the guy is running. Utter poor plot baloney, false drama. I so disliked it here that I skipped to the end of this chapter to make this comment. In fairness to the author, I will read the rest of the tale to ascertain if this was merely a poor choice in an otherwise good tale, or if it was reflective of the larger whole.

All right, I read it to the end, and though the main character was a bit insufferable it was a good story. So, my initial comment stands, but the writer has redeemed herself.

Most of these characters can't even be honest with themselves. It makes for a very confusing story.

Dave should pull a Dark Helmet: "I knew it! I'm surrounded by assholes!" Then again, he comes across as such an emo waffler that you don't even end up feeling sorry for him after a while. Just a cast of entirely self-centered unsympathetic people.

I truly hate the traitors in the story. Out of the people who betrayed him only one person had a single shred of remorse for their actions and that was Maike. All the others did apologize but in the very next sentence they were laughing about it being "harmless fun".

He should have hooked up with Maike.

Wow. I get it, Dave’s POV. The women made a stupid plan. The mistake was the plan. Everything once the weekend began, was deliberate. Yes, Dave was rigid. IMO, when he and Kelly tried to reconcile, he should have insisted they relocate to minimize contact with the others..

He should have killed them all

That was one of the best stories I have read not just on this site, but any other over the years. Thank you. :)

this story honestly was a roller-coaster of so many strong emotions. very well written story maybe one of the best i have read and not just on this site. Loved the ending, and characters of Tabitha & Maike.

I thought it was a great story.

This main character is the epitome of a ******************************************** I give this story a 1 (one)

I can't help thinking that Kelly had a very lucky escape, but you have to feel for poor Tab being stuck with such a self-righteous, dishonest, gutless, infantile prick like Dave.

Cagivagurl is an excellent writer who has elevated the unlikeable, nauseating and hypocritical 'wronged husband' to the pantheon of the men you'd like least for your daughter to meet. This is the only real weakness in her work because it strains credibility to believe that by the end of the story there is anyone still left who doesn't want to smack them in the face, vomit in the corner or turn around and run.

LA

You really are a clever author

If you are single by choice, by widowhood, or by your very last divorce and have a casual partner/FWB/fuckbuddy that expresses an interest in sharing/swinging; I say go for it. You aren't risking much. If you are married and swinging; I say good luck. You are risking much. I have known 2 guys whose marriages fell apart over swinging.

I am guessing nearly all of Dave's critics fit one of the above groups. If you are happily, monogamously married and still think Dave is an asshole; go look in the mirror and practice saying...

"It doesn't mean anything"

"It was just sex"

"It was one time"

"It was just a mistake"

...so you'll be comfortable saying it if it happens to you. Every last fucking character in this story, including his Mother and sisters, said the same thing to Dave. It was NOT a mistake. It was a conspiracy by the wives, and his best friend went along with it.

Dave was shy and retiring, but grew into the boisterous, flirtatious trio of couples. Look what that got him. He needed to meet a more reserved woman. Ironically, insecure Maike was the character most appropriate for him. Some thought him judgmental, but Dave was understandably oversensitive to Tab's flirting with married men. When they finally got together; they were never more than fuckbuddies. Finding out Kelly and Elise were Tab's besties (I don't believe for one second 3 women wouldn't know exactly who was who in 30 seconds.) would have been the end with no tears.

"Christ, who turns down a fox like Maike? No real man, that's for sure."

"A happily married man, that's who."

Cavigurls writing reminds me of that show “ gays anatomy”. It’s all about how women wished things were in life. Well... here is a clue- Dave divorces the bitch, and does not look back. If his new gf tries to push him into a relationship with the ex, he leaves her and does not look back.

That’s the way, it works in the real world. But not in the twisted mind of a cat lady!

One star. For lack of realism.

holly shit, Dave is a real ass hole.

more or less a monster.

i understand his feelings. but my job is to forgive, not boil in oil.

sadly i have to post this Anonymously.

but i really don't mind people knowing that I believe he was wrong.

Feels unfinished, one kiss and night of sex doesn't heal everything. I completely agree with Dave about Kelly and Gary, the fact that every relationship he had seems to involve the same people even when he moves away is ridiculous. He should have walked away from Tab as soon as she decided that her friends matter more than he does. 4*

A good story, well told. I know the trials of being shy and introverted. nothing is worse to us that being betrayed, we finally give our love and have it crushed. The writer caught that massive ammount of emotions very well. You have great people in your stories, mostly easy to keep track of even in high numbers. When hurt we tend to withdraw even from the ones we love, like wounded animals, and when pushed we attack violently. I have regret for things ive done and the betrayal still burns after decades. Hate is terribly strong, far stronger than love.

Ha ha, Gary banged your wife!

I really like your writing, good job.

I noticed that in your story you keep using “brought” instead of “bought” past tense of “buy”. Any reason?

All this Authors LW stories are similar to her TG/CD stories.

A man is fucked over by wife and friends and relative and parents. Initially he handles the situation like a man with balls intact. Over the over some 10-12 pages of repetitive shit all people above work on him chipping away his balls bit by bit … till finally the man becomes a no-man and accepts the same cuck shit he initially refused to accept! And as per the tranny Cagivagurl it’s just right! Wow I am sure all TGs of ur elk may be wetting their panties ( through their dicks)…