All Comments on 'Holland's Hills Ranch Ch. 01'

Your premise is setting up to be be quite good. Starting by developing the characters is a good way to entice your readers. In your preface you mention a slow buildup, but you hit the readers over the head with a quick humiliation scene. In my take Mike is an arrogant & egotistical jerk. His domination of his Mom and his obvious love of himself is not too endearing. Hopefully the theme of this storyline is the discovery of himself. Looking forward to seeing how this tale develops. I don't want to appear to harsh for your first submission so please continue.

Side note - we get that he has a PhD. But PTs typically don't refer to themselves as doctors like a MD or DO. The PhD is a requirement now to become a physical therapist. This is similar to a DNP for nurses or even PhD for physician assistants. But none are medical doctors. Your use of Dr. Mike is more an academic designation.

Normally at the end of each story is a rating from 1 to 5 stars. For some reason, I didn't see how I could rate the story.

You lost me right off the bat with a line like that. "Hate" sex, or "contempt" sex, is a huge tunn-off for many of us.

You need to sort the timeline out at the start. You kind of leave the impression he started his PhD at 18. You clarify a put or two later but it was a tad startling.