Holy Toledo

"If I even felt a little bit of spark between you and your angry girlfriend, I would have taken her bike and rode to Nashville on my own."

"Would you?"

"Mmm, it would be her nylon feet on you right now." I was flirting while I pushed and played with his throbbing dick.

"I don't think that would have happened, she didn't even like coming back to my house. I never even kissed her on the lips." He shrugged.

I got up and moved to the other side of the car, I was now on top of him. "You never kissed her?"

"Never, she has a thing 'bout. I don't even know, she has a thing about hygiene. I don't ask."

I looked at him, I kissed him again, hard, our tongues intermingled. I leaned my breasts against him, my hair around us. "Your girlfriend sucks and not in a good way." I kissed him one more time and maneuvered myself down between his legs. I opened his fly and drew down his pants, then briefs. His cock was still so hard, it was so dark, I had to feel for it, it was easy to find. I just had to feel him with my long nails.

He moaned, he said my name a couple of times as I went down on him, as I took his hardness into my mouth. One day I will mostly do this to a man in a bed. I think I should outgrow backseats, feeling like my parents were supervising, getting annoyed while we drowned out the news. I wanted to enjoy what Anja enjoyed, I wanted to close up the gap and the differences between us. That was my only goal, I wanted to suck cock on a mattress, with pillows, maybe a window close by, maybe some candles. No more students on the recliner, the table, against the kitchen counter. Definitely never in my mother's house again. I was almost twenty-five, I was almost an adult.

"Marco?"

"Mmm, Sabrina?"

"Was Joanie an adult?" I went back to sucking and licking his cock.

"She was, she is. She is in her thirties."

"I'm twenty-four, you won't ever forget how old I was when I sucked your cock in the backseat of your white car."

'Is that an order?"

"No baby, that is a fact." I moved up and took him a little further down my throat, I held my breath, I moved my lips tightly on him, up and down. He moaned. I started kissing his manhood as my hands investigated his chest, his stomach, his whole body was quite hard, quite lean. I was imagining what he looked like naked. I sat up and played with his thighs, he moaned some more as my long nails danced on him, tickled his balls. He pulled me close and we kissed some more, my fingers pumping his cock, jerking him off in the clean unused backseat.

"Mmm. Sabrina..." He made noises as we kissed, his hands went into my hair. I then went back down on him, my mouth once again giving him the best oral sex of his life. He started to cum, I was about to cum myself, I was rubbing my crotch against his leg, my skirt pushed up. I rolled his hard manhood around my face, I wanted to see him, see his smile when he had his orgasm. My eyes were slightly adjusted to the darkness but I needed to see the face of the second adult male I made cum in my mouth, I didn't want to forget it. I certainly didn't want to miss it.

His sperm flew all over the car, he sprayed on me and the back of the seat, I tried to catch it, tried to clean the rest of his cock but he wouldn't sit still. He bucked his hips, he reached for my body, he finally calmed down and I started to lick his clothes, lick him free of his cum. I felt he was trying to pedal away.

I slipped next to him again, making myself comfortable, reminding me of the tight recliner. my lips were close to his cheek, he was watching me. "How was that?"

"That was incredible." And we kissed again. I leaned against his chest, I could have slept for a month, it had been quite a busy couple of days. I was so glad Anja made me break up with my last girlfriend, introduce me to her roommates, and introduce me to her salon and friends. I was so glad I met her, she changed my life, she made me feel incredible about how things were going, whether good or bad, everything was just a trip, a quick turn, so what if sometimes I ended up in the kitchen.

"When are we supposed to be at dinner?" I nuzzled him with my nose.

"Dinner?"

***

"Ow!"

"Sorry."

"Ow, again."

I was at the hospital, I was in the emergency room. The bleeding stopped but my mint dress was ruined. Surprisingly my hair still looked pretty good, I was making faces in the mirror ahead of me, I was trying not to pay attention to the needle going into my shoulder. I was trying to act cool.

"How long is this gonna take? I gotta ask some questions." There was a female cop with me, she had a terrible voice, she sounded like she was always out of breath, She had gone outside to smoke at least three times since we got to the hospital, more than a half an hour already. I could smell her breath from here.

I had a doctor putting in stitches, a piece of metal cut into me "You are going to have a nice three-inch scar, ya know."

"Really? I wish a better story went with it." Turns out Hazing had cuts on his cheek and forehead, I blocked most of it with my body, my dress was a mess it was full of shrapnel.

After I was stitched up, they handcuffed me to a hospital bed, the cop asked me all types of questions I couldn't even try to answer. "I'm twenty-four, I just graduated from NYU and I sometimes live in Bay Ridge." That's all I really knew that's all I ever told the bartenders and they were way more supportive and important to me than the cops.

"Were you buying or selling?" The cop wouldn't stop, I just shrugged.

I didn't even know the guys' name who fucked me, they said there was no one named Hazing, or Hastings, or whatever he could possibly have told me. All the guys at that party and I had to fool around with Lana's boyfriend, a drug supplier, what are the odds. What kind of bad luck was that.

I was then taken to the police station, they put me in a holding cell for six hours. Me and my ruined dress, my beige nails and heels. I was surrounded by six men, I was rubbed by most of them, I was even offered money.

I couldn't be bothered I told them I was busy.

Turns out whoever's car I was in had cocaine and little bags of pharmaceuticals. Hundreds of thousands of dollars worth, Lana destroyed it, she was a little angry at her boyfriend, just a little. The white car was now full of dirt, dead plants, and a nice little dent from Lana's heel. They told me I was very unlucky and I told them I only went into the car for sex. I looked at the cop, I was getting punchy, I could tell she didn't like me at all. "His cock was this big." And I held my hands pretty far apart. I shrugged, I raised my eyebrows.

She called me a couple of nasty names, said I was giving her too much overtime. Now I was giving her too much information. Someone made her and her partner drive me home to the Village when they realized I didn't know anything, and they held me for no reason. I didn't have any female ID either and that pissed her off even more.

***

"The only two things in life that make it worth livin'

Is guitars that tune good and firm feelin' women"

We didn't even get in the house and Greg, Monica's grandfather was already singing to me.

"I don't need my name in the marquee lights

I got my song and I got you with me tonight

Maybe it's time we got back to the basics of love"

He took my hand and led us inside the house. "Okay, let's have some drinks." I gave him the bottle and I gave Sarah some flowers, I even bought a coloring book for little Monica, when she came to visit.

Soon we were around the table, bourbon neat. Four perfect little glasses. "We got these in Nashville coincidently." Sarah told us, "It's called 'Heaven's Door' named after a Bob Dylan song."

"Named after a song, then that's what I'm drinking." Greg laughed and filled up our glasses again. We had dinner, brisket, potatoes, corn, beets, and more bourbon. It was the best meal I have eaten since I went to a French restaurant months ago. We barely had a kitchen in the apartment we tended to only eat noodles and fruit. But not together.

When we were done, Greg brought out his guitar, we moved to the living room and we started drinking beer, something lighter.

"Let's go to Luckenbach, Texas

With Waylon and Willie and the boys

This successful life we're livin'

Got us feuding like the Hatfields and McCoys"

And Greg sang one of my favorites, now with accompaniment.

"So why Nashville?" He asked between songs.

"Well, part of me is obsessed with music, country music, I consider myself a songwriter. But the main reason is my friend Anja lives there, she wants me to move in with her and her family, there is work for us, but I don't think I could leave New York. I can't even get out of Toledo." And they all laughed. I told them how I met her, singing Bobby Gentry, how she dressed me up and made me move into her apartment. I gave them way more information than I ever gave the cops.

I was missing her so much, I asked them if I could call. I wanted them to hear her voice.

"Hi, Anj."

"You better be outside about to knock on my front door."

"Um, I'm still in Ohio."

"Sabrina, when are you getting here, come on, when are you leaving?" She started to cry, and then so did I.

"Soon, I'm sorry." We sniffed, I felt silly in front of Marco and his friends. "Anj, could you do one thing for me? Could you sing 'Ode to Billie Joe'?" And I introduced her to everyone. I explained to her how we all met, and finally told her about the ruined car, the angry girlfriend, and the George Dikel.

She approved. "Okay, I'll sing but only if you play guitar, okay?"

"Really?"

"Yes, really. That is the deal."

I didn't want to, I was hoping she wouldn't ever bring it up. I was hoping that it would never be an option. I was enjoying things as they were. I was sad, maybe I could find a balance, either way, I had to finally 'do what Anja asked. I would do it soon anyway, I was very easily swayed. "Sarah do you have a nail clipper?" And of course, she did, and I cut my long white nails, I cried as all the tips landed on the table.

"Sabrina just grow up." She told me, but I really didn't want to cut them. I loved how they felt, and looked, they made me feel feminine. Soon I had only long nails on my thumbs, I filed them all and kept the rest as long as I could. I could never play guitar with long nails, I didn't know how Dolly Parton did it.

***

Before I left for Nashville, before taking my mother's dead boyfriend's car, before even quitting my job, something was happening. I was depressed, I now always had this physical pain right in the middle of my heart, I would even sympathetically bleed sometimes from the gash on my shoulder. I ruined so many t-shirts and tops. Mostly the pain was from something deeper. I had to see Anja. She was my best friend, she was my good luck charm. Without her things just didn't work out, she was better than a pack of wolves.

Anja would call me every single day, ask why I wasn't with her in her big house, the big downtown bar she hung at, the big state called Tennesee, drinking, and meeting people. She wanted to sing, she wanted me with her, she wanted me to sing with her as we used to when we first met. When I first met the roommates, before they all fell in love with us, me.

"Anja that's not going to happen, I can't sing anymore." I would tell her in my smooth little girl voice.

"You can, who cares if you sing like Waylon Jennings and look like Dolly Parton, no one cares."

"No, I just can't." I could sound like a woman when I talked, it took years of practice but singing that was something else completely.

She would get annoyed at me, "Well how about that Laura Jane Grace from that band you like, the one we've seen at the Plaza, she doesn't have a problem with it."

"She is so much stronger than me, I'm sorry, I just can't."

I wouldn't do it, I was done, I was done with guitar too, I wasn't cutting my nails. Then work let me come in as trans, they didn't even care, men even hit on me. I wasn't going to cut my nails to sing, that was ridiculous, they finally always matched my toes, they looked incredible running through my hair, texting on my phone. They were one of the few things that made me happy. The others were Anja and Samee.

"Sabrina, I have to leave at the end of the week, I have a new job." Samee was holding my hands, he let me cry on his shirt, he let me enjoy his shoulder for just a while longer.

"Oh, okay, congratulations, we should do something special." I knew it couldn't last. Each roommate, took their bags, their blow-up mattresses, and their warm personalities and moved away from me. They kissed me goodbye, they rubbed and patted my back, I was slowly becoming more and more alone. Samee was the last of the roommates to leave. He was the main one I didn't want to say goodbye to. He left at the beginning of September when the lease was up. His last week we had incredible oral sex in every part of the little apartment.

"I will miss this." He would smile down at me, I would have his dark cock in my mouth, he would be leaning against the kitchen counter. I would be looking up at him, waiting for him to cum, waiting to suck him dry. We had more room in the apartment, fewer people, and less furniture. I liked it less, but I loved his body more. If I didn't get a chance to swallow then he would cum on my face, in my hair, and all over my novelty T-shirts. My 'Nashville Babe' shirt saw so much action, my boobs were constantly played with, we took so many pictures of us being slightly happy. Unfortunately, we couldn't fit on the bed together, it was a tiny single, it was a box. It was surrounded by three-paneled walls. I looked up at the bottom of his box spring. I listened to him toss and turn, we would talk all night.

"Sabrina, do you think I can make love to you?"

I smiled to myself, "Mmm, maybe. But you are going to have to say ple..."

"Please."

"Okay, then. Would you go with me to my mother's house? I have a nice big bed there." I didn't want to make love on the floor, on the recliner, I wanted to make love in a bed. A real bed like a real adult.

Soon I saw his face looking down on me again, this time upside down. "Tomorrow?"

I giggled. "Okay tomorrow, before you leave, I will find out when she won't be home."

I called into work and told them I was busy, I helped Samee pack. The apartment in the Village was almost completely empty. Just waiting for four brand new people to meet, become friends, and have wonderful sex. All that was left were the makeshift bunk beds and two suitcases, one with Anja's old clothes and one with my new ones.

*

Once all the roommates were gone from the apartment and the lease was up I had to leave anyway, I would just go back to my old room in my mother's house. She didn't even know. I left a post-it note on the fridge to warn her. It was still there when I left for Nashville.

*

Samee and I left Manhattan together and said goodbye to our little apartment, we took pictures. I couldn't wait to show where we lived to future friends, us under the bed, squished in a corner. I would miss it.

We were on the subway holding our bags, he would be leaving from my mother's house, I would be moving back in. I was wearing one of two dresses I never showed him or the other roommates. One pink, one yellow, I took the subway in yellow. I was saving them both for when Jenson took me out to dinner, maybe back to the French restaurant, maybe back to his house. Maybe even back to visit The Brandy Library and my favorite bartender. It never happened. Jenson would visit and we would talk in front of the dorms, but he was just another guy who loved my thighs but didn't love ME.

"You look great in this color, what is it called?"

I smiled at Samee, the train was crowded, we had six Chinese men hovering above us holding orange bags. "It's called flaxen, and it's silk."

He rubbed my thigh, through the material. "I like it, I like your shoes and your nails." He held my hand, I put my head on his shoulder, it was nice, it felt like an ending, maybe music would start to play and credits would roll.

We got to our stop, we held hands to the house. I wanted the neighborhood to meet the new girl on the block, say goodbye to my old self, my old boyfriend. For the rest of the summer, I would come back, wash my clothes, take a bath, shave my arms. I would never see my mother or the men she would be sleeping with. It was okay, it was better that way.

"I remember the last time I was here. It seems like a very long time ago."

"Your right it does. That was the beginning of the summer, now we reached the end."

We walked into the bedroom, he watched as I slipped into a nightgown, silky white, matching my sandals with the straps leading up over my ankles. My legs in nude stockings, my 'pussy' hidden by my silk bikinis. I had on no bra and my seams were noticeable, we didn't care. Samee loved my breasts, I let him play with them whenever he wanted, I considered them more his than mine. Numerous times I would be waking up with his hands cupping me and kissing my neck and chest. Numerous times I would cum in the morning before work, even before talking to Anja on the phone. I never told her about Samee and me, there were a lot of things this summer that she didn't know about. I definitely didn't tell her he would be rubbing my breasts and my 'clit' while licking my neck. He wanted to be the first thing I saw in the morning. He wanted me to cum in my panties.

The bed was quite big compared to the one at the apartment, more than twice the size. I pulled down the sheets, I put on my iPod, we listened to classic country. We listened to love songs and outlaw songs, songs that were old, songs that were forgotten, songs that I would never forget.

"Sabrina, Anja tells me you don't sing anymore."

"Mmm." I had my mouth on his chest, I was deciding whether to take off his shirt or not.

"Don't you miss it?"

"No, that was the old me. I am now the new me and the new me doesn't sing, the new me does this." And I fished his cock out of his briefs and started stroking. I was becoming a 'woman' in my mind and soon my body, I didn't need to sing like a boy anymore, I didn't need to look through magazines and make-believe I was a starlet, I didn't even have to imagine having sex with a man anymore. This summer was a game-changer, this summer I became myself and unfortunately, I did it all without Anja. With her, it would have been smoother, more fun, and more memorable.

After I got him naked, I took his cock in my mouth, his hard, dark cock. I watched how happy he was when I sucked, he liked when I sucked on the head, then licked the length, licked his balls, and then took them into my mouth. He would miss me. All the roommates missed me. All of them had their cocks in my mouth all summer. I finally knew all of their names, they were all in my contacts, and they all received pictures of my new outfits, my thighs. I told them I want pictures of their new girlfriends, new apartments, and their family. I wanted to still be involved.

I moved up, I took off my panties, I made a show of it, I was going to enjoy this.

"I want to feel your hair, your blonde hair. There is no one in my city with hair this color."

I smiled, he was so serious. I moved closer, I lifted my nighty, I sat on his lap and leaned into him, we kissed as his fingers went through my hair. My breasts pressed against him, his cock getting hard against my bottom, I moved, I wiggled as we kissed. I made him fill me with lotion. We got back into position, his hands once again in my hair, mine around his shoulders. His cock started to slip inside me, it hurt, I had to take my fingers and slowly guide him in.

"Oh, my god, Samee, you feel so good in me." I had my eyes closed, I felt his length enter me, my voice went up an octave. "This is only my second time, baby."