Home for Horny Monsters Ch. 042

"I far prefer you as yourself, to be honest." He pushed a lock of black and red hair away from her forehead.

"I don't even know who I really am." She stopped stroking him, her eyes suddenly far away. "Or rather, who I want to be."

"It's something we can both work on." He kissed her, and she melted against him, her hand now stroking him with a sense of urgency. He pushed his fingers into her, willing them to become thicker and harder. She gasped, her face turning bright red and a fiery halo forming above her horns.

"Fuck... fuck... FUCK!" Her eyes burst into flame and the sand around them caught on fire. The succubus arched her back, toppling Mike off of the bed and onto the sand. Before he could sit up, she had mounted him, sitting straight up, her wings spread wide.

The clouds above burned away as she rode him, screeching in another language, her hips swiveling over his. Inside of her pussy, he felt dozens of tongues and fingers tickling him, quickly taking him to the brink and then beyond.

Grunting, he came, and Lily opened her mouth, her tongue hanging out of her head and her eyes rolling back.

Gasping for air, she stood up, his spooge leaking from her pussy and coating his belly.

"I thought you needed that," Mike pointed out.

Lily's eyes focused on him. "In the real world, I've already swallowed." She winked at him, then turned her head to look at his hand. "No offense, but that's kind of gross."

Mike turned his head and looked at his dick hand. It was a gross, misshapen lump that had been coated in pussy juice and sand. The image became blurry, and the lumpy cock began to separate itself into his fingers, but they were stuck together.

"Here, can you help me wash it off in—" He turned his gaze back to Lily, but she was gone. Realizing that she had left, he fought to wake up, the world around him breaking apart as the Dreamscape fragmented in slow motion. When the ground beneath him broke away, he fell into darkness once more.

Mike awoke with a start, his eyes focusing on the crack in the plaster. The breeze through the now open window rustled his hair, and he slid out of bed to close it. Gripping the frame with both hands, he started to pull it down when he felt an odd tingling in his gut. It was similar to his danger sense, but different, far less ominous. He moved his hands away and stuck his head out the window to look around.

Without warning, a loud boom washed over the house, causing the walls to shake. The clouds hidden in the night sky above were illuminated from below by a red and yellow light, and then the whole house creaked in response to the hot, fierce gust of air that blew over it. The sky went dark, and the wind faded away into the cool air of the night.

Tink fell out of bed, scrambling for her club.

"Holy shit," he whispered, listening to the distant sound of dozens of car alarms going off at the same time. Echos of the rumble could be heard bouncing back to him from the distant hills, and Abella leaned down from above the roof, her upside-down face grimacing in pain.

"The sky was on fire," she yelled, her hands over her ears. "I almost fell off the house, it startled me!"

"Go check it out," he told her. "But be careful." He didn't dare get his hopes up.

The gargoyle nodded, and took off, vanishing into the sky. Tink joined him at the window, looking outside.

"Bad witches go boom?" she asked.

"We're about to find out." He yawned. "You know what, though? I'm beat. It's been a busy week, and tomorrow is going to be even busier."

"Husband lie down. Tink watch for rock butt." She shooed him to the bed, then planted a kiss on his forehead, her nose wrinkling. "Husband stink like demon. Need bath."

"I'll take one tomorrow." Yawning again, he lay on his side, watching the goblin keep watch until sleep came for him. This time, there was no Dreamscape or eerie visions.

Just peaceful darkness.

--

Mike stepped out of the front door of the house, a cup of coffee in one hand and a book about Irish Mythology in the other. He walked over to the porch swing and sat, placing his mug on the new side table he had bought. The yard was a flurry of activity now, with Tink shouting directions at a small group of centaurs who were hauling off the lumber he had ordered online. They milled about with tools that he had ordered them, stepping in and out of the small shed Tink had built with a portal chewed through it to the greenhouse.

He tried to read his book, but there was too much going on, so he sat back and watched. It had now been a week since his return to the house, and Tink had been in rare form for several of those days. Many of the handier centaurs had been instructed in the use of power tools and were not only helping to rebuild the house, but also using the tools to build their own dwellings deep in the jungle. Mike had made it a point to check in on them, but they had been entirely too busy for much of a visit. Zel was gone most of the time as well, helping coordinate their efforts.

Yesterday morning, Tink had showed him a plan for a lumber mill. He had already ordered the necessary parts to get her started, and when they came, the centaurs were going to clear out a swathe of jungle and begin harvesting the wood to build a proper village.

Beth stepped through the front door in just a long shirt and flip-flops. She placed her hands on the recently repaired railing and took a deep sniff through her nose.

"The new garden smells so nice," she said, gesturing at the wall of vegetation that now separated them from the sundial. "Has Zel identified all the flowers yet?"

"Nope." The garden in the front of the house was new. On the day Zel had slowly ushered the exiled centaurs into the greenhouse, the front yard had expanded like a balloon with a hedge maze that sprouted overnight, the sundial sitting at its center. His front yard was now larger than an acre.

The backyard was now several acres of garden starting at the fountain and ending at the wrought-iron gate at the back. He had looked up a satellite image of the place and saw that the picture from almost seven years ago somehow agreed, a perfect example of the Mandela Effect in action. The inside of the house was still the same, to the best of his knowledge, and Tink bemoaned how much work it was going to take to fix everything until the centaurs had offered to lend a hand.

He set his book down on the swing and stood, casting a wistful glance at the empty seat beside him. Cecilia had yet to return, but as of two days ago, he had been able to produce his own version of the banshee scream. Wherever she was, she was still alive, so he would just have to wait until she came back. He stood next to Beth and leaned forward. "How did it go with the centaurs at the tower?"

She turned around and leaned her back against the rail, a mischievous grin on her face. "They weren't super eager to speak with me, but Abella and Ratu got Zel's dad to relent. When I told them we had defeated the snow queen and wanted to return their missing tribesmen, they were all ears. By the way, that Orion guy? Smoking hot and a huge dick."

"Yeah, he is definitely a huge dick."

"No, literally. His dick is huge." She held her hands apart for emphasis. "I was kind of tempted until I saw it. Damn thing would rip me in two."

He laughed, but stopped when he saw that she was serious. "Well, he is also a huge dick. Zel's former fiance. Too much drama. So what were the terms?"

"Yeah, that. Did you know centaurs have way too many laws? In a way, I feel bad for them. They live by all these weird codes and traditions. Anyway, the island is theirs, the tower is ours, but they are supposed to keep guarding the tower from outsiders just in case. They won't shoot you on sight, but Orion might. Something about cheating at a test of worth or something like that."

"Fair." He walked to the table and picked up his coffee. "And?"

"Zel is exiled, permanently. I tried to fight that, but they weren't hearing it. I know she'll say that she doesn't mind, but I don't know, I kind of get the impression that she still wanted a relationship with her dad. Anybody they exile can take a message to the rats in the tower and try to come and live in the greenhouse. They also will stop killing their young for minor birth defects, but that's the choice of the parents. Those children will come and live with the exiles. And... I think that's about it. In exchange, we returned their missing people and promised not to harass them anymore."

"I'm glad we got that sorted." He thought for several seconds. "Anything else?"

"Not that I can think of, no. It was a long night, but a good one. How about you?"

Mike sipped his coffee, fighting the grin that threatened to cross his face. He gave in, a sadistic laugh escaping him.

"It's all over the news. Someone set off an enormous bomb at the local historical society's building. The whole building is completely gone, and, from what I've heard, there isn't even enough left to identify the survivors by." He chuckled to himself, then took another sip of his coffee.

"Oh god." Beth put her hands to her mouth. "Did... did we get them?"

"Don't know. Abella did a fly by this morning with a camera, and we looked at the pictures. It's simply gone, a giant crater in the ground. According to eyewitness reports, somebody thought they were in the middle of a big meeting or something, because the parking lot was full of cars. The explosion itself sent a fireball a hundred feet into the sky, and then vanished." Mike chuckled. "I'm guessing they went to go check on their resident demon and had no idea they were essentially opening a doorway directly to the sun."

"And then Oliver's world caved in on itself and... what, blipped out of existence?"

"Don't know for sure, but Reggie was certain that would be the case. One more opening would cause the whole place to cave in on itself. Oliver couldn't leave his world, but it's now been annihilated. So, either Oliver ceased to exist, or he's stuck... somewhere bad, I guess. But if he ever shows his ugly face to you again, you tell us right away."

"Of course. But... was anybody hurt?" she asked. "Around the building."

"Minimal injuries, but nothing serious. It was late at night. Some people now suspect that they may have secretly been a terrorist organization, cause when they started digging into its members to notify next of kin, a ton of red flags came up. Some of them were living with stolen identities, can you imagine?"

This got a laugh from Beth. "You did it. You got rid of the Society."

"Maybe." He sipped his coffee, his eyes passing over the dark figure by the hedges. Death was sitting on the grass, wiggling his bony toes in between the thick, green blades while watching a pair of centaurs carry a stack of lumber between them. As of now, only Mike and Yuki could see him. He had hoped that Death would simply disappear after news of the explosion reached Mike, but the spirit still lingered.

Meaning that somewhere, Amir was still alive. Or his soul was, at least.

"Well, they shouldn't be hassling you now..." her words trailed off when a dark figure appeared near the entry, walking cautiously between the lions, hands held up in peace.

"I got this." Mike walked around her, the activity in the yard coming to a halt. Mike set his coffee on the end of the railing and moved with confidence, feeling the magic awaken inside of him just a little. The lions turned their heads to watch the newcomer, just waiting to sense hostile magic and spring into action.

The hooded figure stopped, gazing across the yard with apprehension. It took Mike much longer to reach her than it would have a week ago, and when he drew near, the figure drew back its hood.

"Elizabeth, right?" Mike's tone was cold, his voice carrying extra strength.

"Mr. Radley." She looked across the yard, her eyes wide as she saw the centaurs lift up spears and bows that they had set nearby.

"Can I help you?" he asked, letting just a bit of Cecilia's magic through. His voice sounded like a whisper that had been pumped through an amplifier, and she flinched.

"I... it was my turn to keep watch last night. Ever since what happened to my daughter, they told me I was too involved, that I couldn't be trusted on my own. But after what happened here, they had no choice. Your fox demon hurt so many of us that we were forced to regroup, to reevaluate. As a result, it was my turn to watch you."

"And?"

"I wasn't there when it happened, but...how?" Her voice became a hiss. "How did you... it doesn't make sense. You couldn't have done all that, but I... you destroyed everything we've worked so hard for, killed people who have survived several centuries, lived through wars and plagues and... I just don't understand."

"If you're asking if that was me, then yes. Yes it was." He crossed his arms. "I didn't want to, but I had to, and I would do it again."

"You've taken so much from me, I..." she dropped her gaze. "Look. I don't wish to cross your path again, but I must know something before I go. Will I ever see my daughter again?"

"No, you won't." His voice softened. "For what it's worth, it really was self defense. I never wanted any of this, but she tried to kill me. If you all had quit coming here and trying to take my home, you would all still be alive. I recommend that you find a way to move on, to let it go. I promise that no good will come from harassing me or my family ever again."

"I just don't get how you became so powerful so fast. In all my centuries, I have never seen such a meteoric rise in strength."

"I'm not the one who is strong." Just as he said the words, Abella landed next to him, her talons clutching at the cobblestones to steady herself. Tink ran up to the right of Mike, a hammer in one hand and a screwdriver in the other. Rats with spears stepped from the shadows, surrounding the group, and a quartet of fairies circled above him like a crown of light.

Off to the side of the garden, the motionless Jabberwock finally lifted its massive head and yawned, fixing its gaze on Elizabeth. Its jaws snapped together like a steel trap, the sound similar to a pair of cars colliding. It wore the remains of the iron golem as a helmet, hammered out in places by Tink and then strapped to its head, making it look like a giant, armored steed.

"Together, we are strong. We found each other and never plan on letting go." He gazed deeply into her eyes, seeing her fear manifest. "That's the real secret of the house, and it's one I don't think you could ever understand."

Elizabeth backed down the walkway, an expression of cold rage on her face. She passed between the lions, and then walked out of view along the sidewalk. A few moments later, the sound of a car door slamming was followed by screeching rubber. Mike relaxed, and turned around to see that everybody had gone back to what they were doing. Abella landed on the roof and picked up her tablet, resuming whatever show she had been watching, and Tink was berating a centaur with multiple expletives for dropping a load of wood. The centaur rolled his eyes but took it in stride, throwing Mike a wink when their eyes met.

Mike smiled, and walked to the sundial to give it another twist. Since he was out here, he may as well reset it. Looking at everybody scattered across the lawn, he wondered what would come next. With the Society gone, he was no longer confined to the house, and with Reggie's help, he could go anywhere in the world in a matter of minutes.

Then again, why leave when everything that mattered to him was right here? Turning his head, he saw the dark figure contemplating a blade of grass, his bony fingers bending it down until it popped free and stood back up.

Walking to the edge of the yard, Mike put his hands on his hips and stared at Death.

"Hey."

Death looked up at Mike, his visage buried in the shadows of his hood.

"Yuki tells me that you technically can't collect any soul other than Amir's. Is this true?"

Death nodded.

"Which means you're just stuck here with nothing to do. Is that correct?"

Again, a nod.

"Is Amir dead?"

This time, the hooded figure shook his head.

"So..." Mike looked over his shoulder at the house. He had a feeling, deep in his gut, that was different from the icy cold grip of danger. It was warm, like a campfire on a cold night. "If you're just going to hang around anyway, would you like to come inside? Might be a little less boring for you."

Death paused at this, then slowly rose, towering over Mike at nearly seven feet tall. He swept back his hood to reveal a bare skull with a fearsome visage, tiny red and yellow fires buried deep within his impossibly dark eye sockets. The scythe came up too, and Death smacked the butt of it on the ground, causing the blade to swing down and lock into place.

"Mike Radley, I thought you'd never ask," Death replied in a whisper with a slight british accent. They walked back up the stairs to where Beth was waiting, and Mike stopped long enough to grab his coffee and his book.

"Who were you talking to?" Beth asked.

Mike held back a laugh. "Here, come inside and I'll tell you about our latest guest."

End Book Three

This chapter was a lot of fun to write, but it was tough. Ending a story is often the most difficult thing to do, because you want to leave just enough for readers who want more, but you have to close out story threads.

Speaking of closing story threads, the Society is actually destroyed. No Deux Ex Machina here, they opened a doorway to an unstable mirror dimension that had a star trapped inside of it and got toasted. Obviously Elizabeth and Amir survived, but two people don't constitute a Society, now do they?

I always read feedback and comments, and I am about to address a couple of big requests I have gotten from so many of you. Many of you have asked that Mike spend more time exploring his home and that will finally happen in Book Four. His new buddy Death will be on hand to occasionally offer advice, and there will be some interesting new roommates for him to, uh, get acquainted with.

And for those of you who are dying to hear news about our missing banshee, all will be revealed in Book Four, so make sure you come back and take a peek!

Starting in August, I will be releasing chapters of my newest story, The Last Arachne. This tale takes place in the early seventies and does (lightly) tie in with Home for Horny Monsters, so give it a chance once it comes out! It was supposed to be a short story, but is officially a novel now, so that was a thing.

That's all I have to say, much love to you all and take care of yourselves!