Homeomorphism - Step 0

"Here. We'll start off easy. You tell me something you like about me."

Hayley's concern melted into confusion and then contemplation.

"Um..." She started to fidget in her seat.

Charlotte squeezed Hayley's hand. "Don't stress out about it. It's not a test. Just whatever comes to mind."

"I...I like that you're honest."

Hayley's eyes stayed glued to feet, so she didn't see Charlotte's expression change, the curiosity in her eyes turning to concern as they fell shamefully from Hayley's face, the smile across her face quickly fading, her lips parting ever so slightly in surprise. It was an unmistakable look of guilt that hung on her face for only a moment before Charlotte forced it away.

"I'm just...thank you for trusting me, I guess," Hayley added.

Charlotte pulled herself closer to Hayley, closing what little distance remained. "Thank you for being somebody who I can trust."

Hayley smiled bashfully, finally turning her head to look at Charlotte, only able to hold her gaze for a moment before looking back down.

"Okay. Now I say something I like about myself. I like my eyes."

"Your eyes are scary," Hayley said involuntarily, the memory of Charlotte's piercing gaze in their hotel room flashing in her memory.

What the fuck is wrong with you. Why did you say that.

"Er...no...I mean..."

"Shh, shh," Charlotte reassured her with a smile and a light chuckle, "I know. That's why I like them."

Hayley gave an embarrassed grin, opening her mouth to apologize but not getting it out in time before Charlotte resumed their game.

"Now you say something you don't like about me."

"What?" Hayley looked up with confusion and fright, like Charlotte had just hit a puppy. "No...I don't want to do that."

"Ah-ah-ah," Charlotte tsked, "that's the game. You have to." Hayley's expression didn't ease. "Don't worry, we'll get to you soon, so it'll be fair."

"I can't...this is mean."

"Hayley," Charlotte's voice took on a tone of patronizing disbelief, amazed that she had to explain something so simple, "it's not mean if I'm asking for it."

Hayley's concern lingered but she didn't offer any resistance, afraid to upset Charlotte further.

"Okay. Fine," She quickly said, "I don't like that you're making me play this game."

Charlotte scoffed. "Yeah right. That doesn't count."

"Yes it does! I don't like it."

"Hayley if you don't give me an answer, I'm going to assume that you hate everything about me."

"No! That's not-"

"What is it? Do you think I'm ugly? Is that it? Or maybe you think I suck at track?" Charlotte's tone was sarcastic, but she was relentless in her attack, hardly giving Hayley a chance to reply between each question. "What is it Strickland? Hmm? Is it my face? Or maybe my personality? I'm just going to assume you hate me if you don't-"

"I don't like the way you talk about yourself!"

Charlotte waited before responding, letting Hayley sit in the moment.

"That was a lame answer, but I'll accept it."

For the first time all night Hayley's expression lost its fearfulness, turning to one of astonishment. "Um. Excuse you. What do you mean it was lame?"

"I mean it wasn't a real answer. It was a compliment disguised as a criticism."

"It's something I don't like about you! What do you want from me?"

"I want you to play the game, Strickland. Stop acting all innocent."

"I'm not...that's..."

"Oh, calm down, I said I'll accept it. Now. My turn. I don't like my tits. Too small. There. Easy."

"Wha-! Talk about a lame answer!"

"Uh, no," Charlotte said, holding up a finger, "that's an honest answer. I know you can't relate with your perfect fucking model tits but it's a real insecurity."

"I think you're chickening out...but I'll accept it," Hayley said, mocking Charlotte's tone. Charlotte glared back at her, not angrily, but with begrudging acceptance. She had obeyed the rules of the game, there was no reason for her to feel guilty, but something inside of her wouldn't let her leave the conversation like this.

"Ugh, fuck you. Fine. Let me think."

Hayley smiled, turning slightly in her seat to face Charlotte, taking advantage of the fact that her steely blue eyes were pointed downwards in contemplation to finally stare her in the face. Hayley had never lingered so close to Charlotte before. She had never noticed the small mole just below her left eye. The way her top lip curved upwards ever so slightly. The faint rosiness of her cheeks. Hayley's train of thought was interrupted by a quiet voice.

"I don't like how hard it is for me to talk to people."

Charlotte had told Hayley this before, but her tone was different now. It was less pitiful. Less performative.

Truthful.

Now it was Hayley squeezing Charlotte's hand and Charlotte avoiding eye contact.

"You talked to me."

"Yeah...but that's only because I thought you were...that's different."

"I like talking to you, you know. A lot."

Charlotte gave a thin smile. "Thanks. I think you're the only one."

"See? This is what I mean when I say I don't like-" Hayley caught herself before going any further. This wasn't the time to criticize her, even if she was putting herself down. "You're not like you seem." Hayley spoke slowly, choosing her words carefully. "Before I knew you, I thought you were...scary."

"Right. Hayley Strickland thought I was scary."

"I'm serious. You act like you don't care what anybody thinks about you, and it makes you intimidating. But you're...not. At least not like that. You're sweet. And kind. And you listen. And-"

"Alright, alright!" Charlotte quietly exclaimed. "This is why I didn't want to talk about it."

Hayley withdrew slightly, her grip on Charlotte's hand loosening. Charlotte quickly tightened hers. "I didn't mean...thank you. That means a lot."

Hayley smiled, looking into Charlottes eyes, forcing herself to hold her gaze. They stared at each other for longer than either girl intended, neither knowing what to say, their faces drifting closer together. It was Charlotte who finally broke the silence.

"Um...anyway, it's your turn now."

"My turn?"

"Yeah, we only did me. It's called four by four, not four by zero."

Hayley looked nervous but it was quickly replaced by a thoughtful confusion. "Wait that name doesn't even make sense, shouldn't it be four by two?"

"Shut up, you dork," Charlotte said with a grin, "you're trying to change the subject."

Hayley's smile was an admission of guilt.

"We'll start off easy again. I say something I like about you. I like your big...voluptuous...brain."

Hayley giggled against her will.

"No but seriously. I like how smart you are. It's...cool." Cool clearly wasn't the word Charlotte wanted to use, but Hayley didn't question her about it. "Your turn. What do you like about yourself."

Hayley groaned.

"I told you, you wouldn't like it. I'll allow you to say your tits if you want."

Hayley rolled her eyes, a breathy chuckle escaping her lips. She thought for a moment, then, quietly, she mumbled, "I like my hair."

"Your what?"

"Fuck off."

"No, for real, I didn't hear you! Your what?"

"Ugh...my hair."

"Ooh, ok, interesting. Why your hair?"

Hayley's face turned worried.

"No! Not like that! I'm not saying-" Charlotte took a breath. "Your hair is beautiful. Like, stupid beautiful. I'm just curious why that's what you chose. I mean you could've said basically anything." She added bashfully.

"I don't know. I've always liked my hair. Even when I was little and I didn't really like myself. It just...I like the way it makes me feel. Pretty, I guess. It makes me feel pretty."

"If I had your hair, I would feel the same way," Charlotte said matter-of-factly. After a moment, recognizing embarrassment on Hayley's face, she added "thank you for telling me that."

Hayley gave a little nod.

"Ok, now something I don't like about you. I don't like how perfect you are. You don't have a single fucking flaw and it's so annoying. Like a real-life barbie. Every time I look at you, I'm reminded of all the things I lack. All my...deficiencies and imperfections. My..."

Charlotte trailed off, leaving Hayley scrambling for a response. "Charlotte, I-"

"Nope," Charlotte immediately cut her off, "this isn't me fishing for complements or anything like that. I'm just playing the game."

"Yeah, but I didn't know that-"

"I swear to God if you apologize for being beautiful I'll throat punch you. Own it, Strickland. Anyway, it's your turn now, tell me something you don't like about yourself."

Hayley's mind flooded with potential answers. As much as she had grown over the years, as close to perfection as she had come, she still wasn't there. There were so many things about herself that she would change if she could. But there was one answer racing to the front of her brain, trampling and silencing all the others. Hayley's expression dropped, her face filling with shame, not going unnoticed by Charlotte whose own expression changed to one of concern.

"Hey, um, we don't need to do this one."

Hayley's eyes began to well, her lips parting as they prepared to speak.

Stop it.

Stop it.

What the fuck.

Don't do this.

"I- I-" Hayley couldn't get the words out, her throat closing itself involuntarily to prevent them from escaping. In one swift motion, Charlotte's hands dropped Hayley's and lifted into the air, wrapping themselves around the back of her neck as Charlotte lunged forwards to hug Hayley, squeezing as tightly as she could, almost knocking Hayley backwards.

"Shh, don't say anything. The game is over. We're all done."

Hayley was frozen in Charlotte's arms, her brain still processing the fact that she was being held. Charlotte didn't let go, finally feeling the warmth of Hayley's arms wrap around her after a prolonged silence. She smiled as she felt Hayley's head fall onto her shoulder. Charlotte waited for Hayley to let go before she released her grip, continuing to hold her by the arms as the two girls pulled away from each other.

"If you want, we can go back to the truck and lie in the bed. I brought blankets."

Hayley nodded with a smile.

The girls walked at a meandering pace back to the truck, Hayley standing shyly to the side as Charlotte prepared the bed, laying several layers of blankets down and fluffing a set of pillows. Upon completion, Charlotte threw her arms out in a wordless ta-da, making Hayley smile, then beckoning to her to climb in.

As they lied there, the sound of crickets filling the air, Hayley felt Charlotte's hand brush against hers. Her heart raced, unsure if it had been an accident, hoping it wasn't. Charlotte's hand didn't leave, her pinky resting gingerly on Hayley's. Slowly, fearfully, Hayley let her hand creep to the side, sliding under Charlotte's, letting their fingers lace one by one. Charlotte closed her hand slowly until she was holding Hayley's tightly, proceeding to inch her body to the side, closer to Hayley. Hayley could hardly breathe as she felt Charlotte's body touch hers, the shorter girl's head tilting to the side to rest by Hayley's shoulder.

"Thank you for being here for me." Charlotte whispered. "You...you make me feel okay about the person I am."

Hayley couldn't speak, her throat squeezing itself closed tightly, hurting her. She took deep breaths, trying as hard as she could to relax. Then, so quietly she could barely even hear herself, she managed to speak.

"I'm...like you."

An immediate wave of regret crashed into Hayley, knocking her off balance so she fell under water, drowning.

No. No. Why did I say that. Oh god. Please no.

Hayley could already hear the cackle of Charlotte's laughter as she ridiculed Hayley for the person she really was. The freak that she was.

The warmth of Charlotte's body disappeared, her hand slipping away, leaving a frigid void beside Hayley.

This is what you deserve.

The muted thud of open palms against bedding on either side of Hayley's head indicated Charlotte's presence. Even without opening her eyes, Hayley could tell that Charlotte was on her hands and knees above her, staring straight down at Hayley's face. Her expression was vivid in Hayley's imagination. Gawking. Disgusted. Just like Jane's had been.

Hayley couldn't bear to open her eyes, she tried as hard as she could to keep them closed, but they drifted open on their own, her eyelashes sticking together. The face she saw was not the one she expected. Charlotte's mouth was open in a wide smile, the kind of smile you couldn't stifle no matter how hard you tried, the kind that hurt your cheeks. Her eyes were glassy with tears. Her breath was heavy. A tear fell from her eye, landing on Hayley's cheek.

"Are you...are you...?" Charlotte couldn't get the words out, her voice cracking.

Hayley needed to take it back. Deny it. Clarify. Anything. She hadn't said anything definitive. There was still time to change the story.

Instead, she nodded, her own eyes beginning to fill with tears, her lip quivering.

"Mmmhmm," was the only noise she could make.

Charlotte let out a laugh of pure relief, her entire body shaking, more tears falling from her eyes. She lowered herself slowly onto Hayley. Their bedding was soft enough for Charlotte to dig her arms beneath Hayley's back, embracing her for the second time that night, this time even more tightly.

Hayley's didn't know what she was feeling. Her heart was pounding and her hands shaking in fear. Tears fell from her eyes in relief. She felt simultaneously safe and trapped by Charlotte's hug. All she could do was lie there in shock, letting the emotions overwhelm her. When Charlotte finally pushed herself back up, her eyes were overflowing with pride. Hayley felt the corners of her mouth turn upwards on their own, biting her lip to try and stop them, but she couldn't. Charlotte let out a little giggle, trying to say something but unable to. Her body began to sink downwards once again, tired of holding itself up, craving the softness of Hayley's against it.

Hayley's eyes were wide with worry, her mind filled with unintelligible static, as she watched the pale skinned girl fall closer, filling her vision until Hayley could no longer see the night sky above her. Even in the darkness, the blue of Charlotte's eyes was piercing, stripping Hayley of the ability to look away or even blink. But unlike every time before, Charlotte's stare had lost its frigidity, leaving behind only its beauty, enthralling Hayley, melting the world away around her. All she could see were Charlotte's eyes, all she could hear was her breath and all she felt, its warmth.

Hayley felt Charlotte's lips graze against hers and her world erupted in a buzz of color, making her dizzy. She let her own lips part, her breath escaping with a soft moan. Her entire body was trembling in anticipation as she felt a soft kiss caress her lower lip, lasting for only a moment before being withdrawn, only to return on the corner of her upper lip, just as soft, just as brief. Her eyes drifted closed, fear and excitement coursing through her at the same time. Her head rose slightly from the truck bed, searching for the pair of lips that had been there just a moment ago.

"I'm sorry." Charlotte whispered, her voice coming from a place just beyond Hayley's reach, "I didn't mean to..."

Hayley's breath was shaky. Unsure. "It's okay. You can keep going." Charlotte didn't move. "P- please."

Hayley moaned in satisfaction as she felt Charlotte return, this time with the full force of her body, pressing Hayley head back down, her lips enveloping Hayley's. Hayley let herself be taken, softening herself beneath Charlotte, surrendering to her will. Charlotte let her full weight rest on Hayley as her hands began to wander. She held Hayley's head, lacing her fingers through her silky hair, pulling her deeper into their kiss. She caressed Hayley's body greedily, memorizing her curves, gripping tightly her hips and her ribs and her arms.

Charlotte slid her leg between Hayley's and began to rock herself back and forth, rubbing gently against Hayley's crotch. She filled with satisfaction as Hayley's lips parted with a ragged breath, her hips thrusting unconsciously against the stimulation, chasing it. Charlotte put more weight on her leg, planting it firmly, giving Hayley the resistance she needed to grind against it.

Charlotte's stomach fluttered with excitement at the feeling of Hayley's cock swelling against her thigh. She attacked Hayley's gaping mouth with even more force than before, plunging her tongue down her throat, Hayley returning her kiss eagerly. Charlotte bit Hayley's lip and drew back, pulling Hayley with her before letting it go. She admired the look of peaceful rapture on Hayley's face as it fell back against the truck bed, small moans escaping her parted lips. Charlotte smiled hungrily as Hayley's cock hardened all the way, shifting stiffly beneath her pants.

Hayley's eyes suddenly shot open and her body recoiled, her hands flying to conceal the bulge between her legs.

Charlotte's expression dropped immediately to one of worry, releasing the grip she had on the frightened girl beneath her, not wanting her to feel trapped.

"Hey, hey, hey" Charlotte cooed, rolling to the side so Hayley had her own space, "it's okay. You're okay."

Hayley looked at Charlotte, her face full of embarrassment. "I- I'm sorry," Hayley stammered, "I forgot...I didn't..."

"No, you have nothing to apologize for Hayley."

Hayley looked away, her body still tense, curled up in the corner of the truck bed.

"Can I hold your hand?" Charlotte asked, smiling sweetly.

Hayley's looked at Charlotte nervously, eventually nodding, her lip quivering. She held out her hand, leaving the other between her legs. Charlotte took it gently, scootching slowly towards Hayley like she was a frightened animal until she was sitting beside her.

"Hey, look at me," Charlotte said, her voice quiet and understanding. Hayley looked up reluctantly, her eyes watery and shameful. "You didn't do anything wrong, okay? I shouldn't have done that."

"No...it wasn't...I didn't mean to..."

"No. You didn't do anything wrong."

"But I-"

"Hayley." Charlotte's tone was serious, despite the tender smile. She reached her free hand up to Hayley's face, slowing its approach as Hayley flinched. As softly as she could, Charlotte took ahold of Hayley's chin, guiding her face towards Charlottes until they were looking each other in the eyes, holding her there. Charlotte didn't say anything, but it was clear what she wanted to hear.

"I...okay..." Hayley whispered.

Charlotte squeezed Hayley's hand. "Thank you." She leaned forward, keeping a careful eye on Hayley's expression to note any sign of discomfort whatsoever, and seeing none, kissed her gently on the forehead. As Charlotte withdrew, she looked at Hayley with disbelief.

"Do you seriously not even have foundation on?"

Hayley couldn't help a snort of laugher from escaping.

"God you're so annoying," Charlotte smiled, nudging Hayley. "Come lay back down, I want to see a shooting star."

The girls laid in silence, Hayley resting her head atop Charlotte's chest, Charlotte stroking her hair, both refusing to let go of the other's hand. All of Hayley's fear was washed away by the gentle rise and fall of Charlotte's chest. The world felt warm despite the cool air that surrounded her. It felt safe. She wanted to lie there forever, but the night grew late and she began to worry that she was keeping Charlotte too long.

"It's probably time for me to go home" Hayley whispered, her tone obligatory.

"Yeah...its late, huh?" Charlotte whispered back, the disappointment in her voice discernable. Neither girl moved. "Or you could...I mean, only if you want..."