Homeomorphism - Step 0

Author's Note(s): While Hayley isn't transgender, she can certainly be read as such. This story deals with themes of gender dysphoria and insecurity, as well as the fetishization and exploitation of these feelings. We are also beginning our journey into the world of abusive and manipulative relationships. If any of this makes you uncomfortable, please turn back now. If you are transgender, please always know that you belong and you are loved.

This chapter is a continuation of the prelude, picking up right where it left off. As a reminder, please note that the events of "Caged - Introduction" are no longer cannon to this story. That story was more of a test to see how I felt about the concept, so don't be surprised if this story pans out differently.

Once again, clearly, I got a little carried away with this one, but I really wanted to make sure that both Hayley's and Charlotte's actions throughout felt justified ("justified"). This means the smut is still sparse, but it certainly has its moments (hint: skip to the last page or two if that's all you want, you degenerate ;)). I'm hopeful that the next chapter will mark our true descent into depravity.

As always, constructive criticism is welcome.

Hope you enjoy!

***

Hayley stood in the bathroom, unmoving, not quite sure what had just happened. She had been in the bathroom. Alone. She was alone when she got to the hotel room, right? Had Charlotte been here the whole time? Had she stayed behind again?

No. She was at the fair. Hayley remembered her at the fair. She and Charlotte weren't even in the same room this time.

That means...when had Charlotte come in?

How long had she been there?

How much did she know?

Hayley knew she should be panicking. Running down the hallway after Charlotte to question her. Threaten her. Figure out what happened. Why it happened. Figuring out what to do next.

There was a shirt lying between her legs.

Slowly, deliberately, Hayley bent over to pick it up. She folded it neatly in her arms, walking back to her bed as she did, placing it gently inside her empty suitcase so it was perfectly centered. She stood there, staring at it, her eyes unblinking, for longer than anybody should stare at a single article of clothing. After she felt that she had adequately memorized its every fold and crease, she directed her attention to the slew of other clothing scattered around the room. One by one she picked them up, walking to each at an ambling pace, folding each just as carefully as the last. Her eyes were vacant, staring at the empty space just beyond her reach. She held her tracksuit for longer than any of the other items before deciding to place it in the hotel dresser along with a change of clothing. She gathered her various toiletries and cosmetics and brought them to the bathroom, assembling them neatly on the counter according to their size, then by color, then back to size, where she left them.

As she took her nightly shower, robotically scrubbing over her body, she heard the excited voices of Rachel, Bella, and Theresa stumbling through the door. Hayley sighed.

She emerged from the bathroom a few minutes later, her teeth brushed and two pairs of compression shorts beneath her baggy pajamas.

"There you are!" Rachel shouted, looking up from her phone with a smile.

"We were worried about you. You left so quick." Bella added.

"Just tired," Hayley replied, her voice monotone and her gaze fixed forward. The other girls all glanced at each other, concerned.

"You good, girl?" Rachel asked, her tone softening.

"Mm-hmm," Hayley answered, sliding into bed next to her so she was facing away from the rest of the girls.

"Alright," Rachel said, clearly unconvinced but unsure of what else to say. "You girls mind if I take the bathroom next?"

Hayley listened to her roommates fall asleep one by one, unable to do so herself. She stared into the darkness of the room, replaying the night's events in her mind, trying to remember exactly what had happened. Every time she began drifting off to sleep, a loud and sudden knocking - Charlotte's knocking - would startle her awake, the sound echoing in her ears. Had it all been her imagination? Hayly could hardly remember.

By 3:00 in the morning, her body's exhaustion was finally able to overcome her mind's restlessness.

She dreamt that she was floating alone in a cavernous spring, her teammates perched atop the cliffs surrounding her, laughing amongst themselves, paying no attention to her. The water was an icy blue, picturesque but cold, and growing colder. Hayley looked around for a means of escape but saw nothing. There was no rope, no ladder, no outstretched hand. The cliffsides were smooth and sheer, plummeting straight down. She opened her mouth to shout for help and felt it flood. She was sinking. Frantically, she fought against the invisible current dragging her deeper, kicking with all her might. The instant she felt the warmth of air against her face, Hayley opened her mouth, feeling her throat contract against water as she tried to scream, gargling and choking. She watched helplessly as the world was consumed by the rippling of water, her body dragged beneath the surface once again. She tried to fight back but her limbs had stopped working, exhausted from her previous fight, and beginning to freeze. Deeper and deeper she sank, the opening of the cave above her growing smaller until it disappeared entirely. Despite the lack of light, the color of the water remained, a luminescent, frigid azure, surrounding her, squeezing her. Without her permission, desperate to alleviate the burning in her lungs, Hayley's body took a gasping breath, sucking in the ice-cold water. She felt it fill her lungs, suffocating her, tearing apart her insides.

She awoke, terrified and heaving, trying to force the water from her lungs. Her eyes focused on the pair of drab curtains hanging off the wall opposite her, spilling onto the lightly checkered carpet beneath. She remembered where she was, immediately choking back her breath, trying to silence herself. Rachel shifted beside her but faint snoring reassured Hayley that she was still asleep, Bella and Theresa not even moving. Hayley exhaled a muted sigh of relief. It was 7:48, only 12 minutes before everyone would wake up.

Hayley felt grimy, her muscles weak. She hadn't slept enough. Abruptly, and against her will, the events of the night before overtook her mind. It was all so clear to her now.

Charlotte had been in her room.

She had knocked on the bathroom door while Hayley masturbated on the other side, desperate for release, unable to control herself.

She was just checking on Hayley after the ride, at least that's what she had said, but there was an unmistakable smirk, a smug, disgusting smirk, that she had been unable to hide.

The hotel room spun around Hayley. She was going to throw up. As quickly as she could, Hayley pulled herself out of bed and ran to the bathroom, not bothering to close the door as she fell to her knees in front of the toilet. She took deep breaths, her hair grasped tightly in one hand and the sink counter in the other, refusing to brace herself against the toilet or the floor, waiting, praying for something to come up and relieve her nausea. But nothing did.

Why hadn't she lied to Charlotte last night? Made up some excuse or defense?

Why had she masturbated in the first place? Was she really that desperate? That weak?

Why had she stayed on that ride with Mia?

Why had she been so careless when she chose a room at the last hotel?

...why had she come on this trip at all?

How stupid was she, how arrogant and self-important, to assume that she could fight against her body's urges for 4 days straight. She was supposed to know better.

You're a stupid piece of shit and you deserve whatever happens to you.

The irritating chime of three alarms made Hayley flinch. She quickly stood up and turned on the sink faucet, rinsing away the tears that had begun to form in her eyes before beginning her morning routine. After a few minutes, a light knock on the open door alerted Hayley to Rachels presence as she stepped carefully into the bathroom.

"Mind if I join you?" she asked timidly.

Hayley met Rachels gaze in the mirror and shook her head with a smile, Rachel smiling back. She thought about asking Hayley again if she had been okay last night, but wisely decided against it.

"You ready for today's meet?" she asked instead.

Hayley gave a shrug, signaling the end of the conversation to Rachel.

***

The bus ride to the meet was particularly excruciating for Hayley. The never-ending chatter and laughter that rumbled throughout the vehicle made Hayley squirm, digging its way under her skin and twisting her insides around. She wanted to scream at all of them to shut the fuck up, but, of course, she never did.

When they finally arrived at the track, Hayley was quick to leave the rest of the group in search of somewhere secluded. She found what she sought in a small grassy patch just outside the stadium, a small tree providing her shade. She took a seat beneath it, burying her head in crossed arms propped atop bended knees. She was so tired.

"Hey Hayley?" A small voice invaded her solitude, startling her.

She picked her head up from her arms and twisted around to look behind her, shocked to see Charlotte standing meekly just past where the grass ended.

"Can we talk for a second?"

Hayley didn't know what to say. Even from this distance, the blue of Charlotte's eyes was clearly visible, staring through Hayley, knowing exactly what she was thinking and what she was feeling.

"I just...about what happened last night..."

Hayley's entire body shriveled, creaking stiffly as she stood up.

"I wanted to tell you that-"

"Why the fuck were you in my room?" Hayley cut her off, marching angrily towards Charlotte. She didn't know where the words were coming from, they were just falling out of her mouth.

"Um...I was-"

"Because we don't know each other, so I don't need you checking up on me."

"No, I know, I just wanted-"

"We weren't even in the same room so how the fuck did you get in?" Hayley was deliberately waiting for Charlotte to begin her sentences before she began hers, reveling in the fright that would cross Charlotte's face every time she was interrupted.

Why did she look so afraid? Charlotte wasn't one to be easily intimidated.

It didn't matter, Hayley was enjoying this too much.

"It's fucking creepy, alright? You need to leave me alone."

"I know. I'm sorry. I really-"

"No. That's it." Hayley charged past Charlotte, making her move out of the way. For the first time all day, she felt relief. Like the world wasn't ending. She had a race to win.

"Hayley, I'm the same as you!" Charlotte blurted out.

Hayley froze, almost falling over. Neither girl spoke for a long time, the silence growing thick in the air.

"I'm...I mean, I have...I'm like you."

Hayley turned around slowly, her face expressionless but her eyes ablaze with anger, genuinely frightening Charlotte. She walked briskly up to the other girl, stopping inches away so she was staring straight down at her, highlighting just how much taller Hayley was.

"Charlotte," Hayley began, speaking slowly like Charlotte was a child, "I don't know," she leaned closer, "what the fuck," so close now they were almost touching, "you're talking about."

Charlotte opened her mouth to respond, but she felt powerless beneath Hayley's anger.

"Stay the fuck away from me."

***

Hayley didn't place in either of her events. It was like she forgot how to run. Her steps felt heavy, her gate erratic, making it impossible to find the pace she wanted. She felt like every pair of eyes was focused on her. On her failure.

She left for the locker room as soon as she finished running, not willing to watch Kaylee McHolland stand atop the podium where she should be. One by one her teammates filtered into the locker room behind her. With every platitude or attempt at comfort she received, Hayley felt her anger grow, seething just below the calm exterior she was fighting so hard to maintain, smiling and telling them each thank you.

The meet was over at 4:30, and after a brief stop at the hotel to pack up and an early dinner, the girls were on their way back home. Some girls chatted, many slept, Hayley just sat quietly, reliving her failure in her head, resisting the urge to smash her head into the window beside her. It was just past 2:00AM when the bus pulled into the university parking lot, the girls deboarding in a sleepy shuffle. Some of the girls had parked on campus and were able to leave straight away, Hayley wasn't one of them. Charlotte caught Hayley's eyes for a moment as she walked to her car, immediately looking away to avoid Hayley's scowl. Hayley took a seat on a secluded bench, wanting to avoid any conversation while she waited for Melanie to arrive.

You're a failure. Worthless. A fucking-

Hayley's thoughts were interrupted by voice, sweet with a slight southern twinge.

"Hey Hayley."

Hayley's eyes opened to Mia standing before her, a smile on her face, her hair colored orange by the streetlight overhead. The surprise on Hayley's face must have been more evident than she thought, as Mia quickly added "we were on the teacup whirl together yesterday...or two days ago I guess."

Hayley tried to reply but her mind was overwhelmed with all the things she could say, trying to pick the best option.

"Plus, it's kinda hard not to know ya when all the other girls are always cheering your name."

"Yeah, well, not much to cheer about after today," Hayley finally said, trying to come across humble.

Shit. Go ahead and try to sound more pitiful next time. "Please validate me." Ugh.

"Ah, screw that. I dunno how they expect us to run two meets in one weekend."

"You did."

"That's just 'cuz I picked easy ones."

Hayley let herself chuckle at the irony, that was usually her line.

"And I didn't get any gold," Mia reminded her, flashing her silver and bronze medals.

Hayley gave her a faint smile, trying to convey her thanks.

Say something you idiot. This is your chance.

Mia spoke again before Hayley could.

"Anyway, I just wanted to say hiya 'cuz I felt like it's weird we hadn't been formally introduced yet."

"Yeah, sorry. I've been meaning to say hi but you're always talking with someone else."

Oh yeah, go ahead and blame it on her. Stupid.

"Please," Mia scoffed, "I've just been scared to come up and talk to you. I mean ya always look like a queen or somethin' the way you walk around."

Hayley felt herself blush, unsure if it was out of embarrassment or flattery, thankful either way that it was dark outside.

Fucking say something. You're making her do all the work.

"Do you need a ride or anything? I parked my car in the lot over there, I really wouldn't mind."

"That's alright, my roommate is going to pick me up, but thank you." Hayley did her best to sound grateful, afraid she was coming across as rude.

"Anytime," Mia smiled, shifting from side to side. "I can hang around with ya until she gets here if you want company."

Yes, please.

"It can be kinda sketchy here late at night," she quickly added, sounding as if she was trying to justify her offer.

Hayley tried as hard as she could to think of a response that would convey her interest without coming across as obligatory or too excited. Her mind was completely blank. In the end, she just smiled and nodded, praying it was enough.

"Cool," Mia chirped, spinning around and plopping herself down on Hayley's bench.

"I'm sure ya get this all the time but I totally love watching ya run."

Hayley felt her face grow hot again. She was used to compliments, but her usual response was an insincere thank you. She couldn't do that this time.

"I'm tha-," her voice momentarily caught in her throat. "Thanks you."

Thanks you?

"You're amazing too," she added.

"Ha! Nah. I'm just alright. Not like you. The way you run is so...like...elegant. Like you're calculating every single step or somethin."

Hayley couldn't help a sheepish smile from spreading on her face.

"Th-thank you. You're really sweet."

Mia beamed and gave Hayley a little nudge. "You deserve it." Mia let the moment breathe before continuing. "So, why'd ya start running? Parents?"

"Oh...no, I just liked doing it."

"You mean neither of your parents even run?"

"No. I mean, I guess they stay in shape or whatever, but they never ran for school. They didn't really even want me to do it."

Hayley felt her body twinge. She hadn't meant to say that.

Mia looked at her with confusion. But not judgmental confusion. Concerned confusion.

"Why not? You're incredible."

Hayley only shrugged, trying to compensate for oversharing.

"Do they ever come to watch you?"

Hayley gave a nod. "Yeah. I mean once I started getting good."

The confusion on Mia's face melted away, leaving behind only the concern.

"You know you're like the best on the team, right?"

A memory flashed in Hayley's vision. She was lying in Sophia's arms, feeling strands of wet hair being pulled from her face. "You're so strong," Sophia said.

"Why'd you start running?" Hayley blurted out.

If Mia had been put off by Hayley's clear avoidance of her question, she didn't show it, her expression changing quickly into a smile as she spoke.

"My dad. He ran in college, so he started runnin' with me when I was really little."

"Did you like it?"

"Heck no," Mia laughed. "I was miserable all the time." Despite her words, Mia's face looked reminiscent. "At least at first."

Hayley nodded, entranced by Mia's beauty as she spoke. There was a faint spattering of freckles across Mia's cheeks, almost unnoticeable. She had one crooked tooth on the bottom of her mouth, somehow making her smile even more welcoming. Her nose turned up ever so slightly at the end to form a picture-perfect button. Normally Hayley would be jealous, but right now all she could focus on was how cute it looked. Mia's face was the polar opposite of Hayley's, curved and soft, all except her sharp eyes. They were the same color as her hair, a kaleidoscopic pale, but they still exuded warmth, not like the cold blue of Charlotte's. Hayley's gaze settled on Mia's lips, admiring their fullness, suddenly realizing they had stopped moving.

"Um, sorry, what?" Hayley asked shamefully.

Mia giggled, letting it linger for just long enough to indicate that she had seen Hayley staring.

"What's that on your shirt? Is it a comic book?"

"On my...? Oh, no" Hayley stuttered, her embarrassment overwhelming her. "It...um...that's just the design. It's a rapper. Childish Gambino? Because the...um...it's based on one of his albums, Because the Internet...so that's just...yeah. I liked his music and stuff, and I thought the design was cool or whatever.

And stuff? Or whatever?

Hayley had entirely lost her composure now. She couldn't remember the last time she had struggled this much with a conversation. The last time she had tried this much.

"I really like it. What are some of your favorite songs by him?"

"Um...I really like Me and Your Mama. That one is probably my favorite. It starts off really peaceful, almost...ethereal, but then halfway through he brings in this really intense electric guitar and passionate vocals...really soulful. He's singing about somebody he loves, and I like how...desperate he sounds, I guess. It's on a different album though, not this one. On this one, I like Flight of the Navigator. The instrumental is super dreamy, and his vocals on top are really sad and reminiscent. It sort of makes me feel like I'm floating somewhere all alone...which I like. Also 3005 is probably his most popular one, that one's good."