by chosak
This is a great story. The first chapters set it up perfectly. The last chapter felt kind of rushed, but still very good. You should reconsider writing some more chapters.
my only criticism is that it really needs another chapter bringing the two even closer .. maybe Adam standing up for honey against their mom and the reason for his last girlfriend leaving him is because he called her honey by mstake :) anyway great buld up i just feel left a little short and waiting for more :)
I don't know what folks have against this story. It builds at a suitable rate and has the touches added that make a story believable, not just fantasy. There has to be a part four to bring the couple some finality in thier relationship, either to continue or draw a line under it. (Nice tale with some interesting side plots)
Don't worry about the criticisms from readers whose spelling is so bad that they probably can't even spell their own names. By far the most satisfying stories are the ones with a real relationship between the characters. Those wham-bam-thank you ma'am ones grow boring very quickly. I enjoyed the first two installments greatly. I agree that the third could have been also developed a little more, but the relationship carried it through. I also would like to see this carried forward at least one more chapter.
Part 1 and Part 2 were really great.
Part 3 ist to short, why not more foreplay..
4/5
Don't listen to what the nay-sayers tell you about your stories. Most of them are just jealous that they aren't able to be creative enough to write their own and so they take it out by insulting those that actually put forth the effort into writing.
Ignore them and write for yourself. The only person who has to like what you write is you. And if others dig it as well, then that's an extra cherry on top. And if they don't... Then fuck 'em. Just as long as you're happy with the story.
I actually was enjoying all the buildup, but eh, whatever. who knows, maybe you'll write more on it.
...& realize 1 thing: you're not writing for others. U R writing 4 u. Ignore what others think. U think Steinbeck gave a damn? Okay, he wrote clean & u write dirty but it's the same thing. U write 4 u, remember that.
the series started bad and went down hill ever since way to unrealistic for me people do not act that way when someom=ne is always compared to their sibling and always fight with said sibling there is no way they will ever love each other or have sex keep it atleast sounding somewhat realistic or put it in the fantacy area
I totally loved it... I know because I'm an author on the site as well.... what people don't like it or comment on it...so what?? You've tried it and you obviously have some fans who want you to keep going. I agree with the other comment keep writing this story don't cut it off early it really does have some great potential and to people who leave comments saying it's crap or whatever ignore them! I'd really love to read more chapters of this story
i agree, dont let the 2% ruin it for the rest of us who DO enjoy your stories! send them a note thanking them for their thoughts and contributions and continue the adventures of adam and honey. fuck em if they cant take a joke!
lee
You didn't have to cut this tale short and rush through it. I thought it had heaps of potential, and you need to keep in mind that most (the vast majority of) people don't actually leave comments.
Surely you're not going to give in to those fuckwits who bagged your tale, dictating to you that this site is called Literotica, which means you need to make your story pornographic?? Those losers have a lot to fucking answer for. I wander how many awesome stories have been left incomplete or rushed through because of some authors' fear of these idiots and their comments.
Fuck, this really gives me the shits. Finally, a half decent bro/sis story and the naysayers win again, instead of moving on to a different story. Aaaaaaarghhhhhhhh. C'mon author, please don't give in to them. Please... it's just not fair.