Honey Ch. 03

Around ten the next morning, Cassidy was in the kitchen on her phone, speaking furtively and pacing. Hanna remained in the background again.

'I can't, I'm on a job right now... Call Jessica, she's got to be free... Cabo?! She'll get screwed down there. Fucking hell... Okay... O.K. Let me talk to my current employer. I'll call you back.' Cassidy sighed and hung up, and she jumped at the sight of Hanna.

'Sorry, I wasn't really listening.'

'No matter if you did, you can't do anything.'

'Are you needed somewhere?'

Cassidy was agitated. 'I used to do an act at the Midnight Rose with another girl. My replacement checked out so they need me, our act was a specialty performance and a very wealthy client wants to see it. He has guests to entertain. I doubt Brandon will let me off.'

'I will,' Hanna said. 'I don't need your services for one day. You're free to go.'

'Are you sure?'

'Brandon will be okay if I tell him I'm fine with it. You're mine for this purpose, right? Not his.'

Cassidy was thrilled by Hanna's decision and she gave her a warm, lingering kiss. 'I'll be back before midnight, I swear. Then I'll make it up to you for as long as you can handle.'

She went to her room as Brandon emerged.

'What's going on?'

'I've given Cassidy the day off,' Hanna said boldly. 'She's needed at another job. She'll be back later.'

Brandon chuckled softly but didn't reply.

'I thought we could spare her,' Hanna went on with slightly less conviction.

'Did you? I'll have to dock her pay for the duration.'

'She'll be compensated accordingly. Otherwise she'd never have agreed to it.'

'Or you wanted me all to yourself. Is that it, Hanna?'

She passed him, brushing her fingertips down his arm.

'Are you on offer now?' she asked. 'Did I misread something in his arrangement?'

He clasped her wrist before she could go further. 'I wasn't sure you were interested.'

His height wasn't a concern for her, she wasn't feeling threatened. 'I think we should keep talking. We both have things we need to say. To resolve.'

'If you think it will help.'

Cassidy reappeared, now dressed and rushing for the door with a tote-bag over her shoulder.

'Hanna said I could go!' she hollered to Brandon on her way out. 'You can't stop me.'

'Do I look like I'm trying?' The door was already shut by the time he'd said this.

Hanna struggled to hide her smile. 'Why don't you wait in the other room and I'll make coffee. Then we can fill in the blanks.'

'Sure.'

Brandon waited and Hanna managed to find what she needed. She wanted to pull back the curtain, to know him in the same way she'd tried to know Cassidy. She didn't want either of them to be strangers to her, but whether they'd remain friends, she'd not thought that far ahead.

'It's been a while since anyone besides my assistant has made me coffee,' he commented when she handed him a cup.

Hanna chose to sit across from him, not wanting to interrogate him but feeling as if she were interviewing him anyway.

'One thing I wasn't clear on,' she began. 'If you knew you wanted to return a favour for me, why did you turn down every request for an appointment my assistant made?'

'I was biding my time. I had other problems -- personal ones, work ones. The first time your assistant called, I was intrigued as I was tempted. But I decided to decline knowing very well the type of work you do requires you to not take no for an answer. I have to confess now, I knew you were getting divorced before I agreed to meet with you.'

'So that's why you made the appointment?'

'Yes. But I would've completely understood you turning down my offer. Plus my timing wasn't entirely fair. I hadn't a clue you'd just signed those papers.'

'I agreed to your offer of my own volition. It's rid me of a lot of pointless emotions by being here, and I'm grateful for that.'

'Can I ask you some questions?'

'Go ahead.'

'When did you know you were in love with Olivia?'

Hanna was strangely not affronted by this question. She'd wanted to speak on it to someone, it'd have probably been a therapist had Brandon not come to her with his own remedy for her misery.

'It was the sight of her in her underwear that threw me. Of course you see everything in the girls' locker rooms, no matter who tries to hide what. But her confidence... She'd walk up and down in her bra and panties, brushing out her hair, chatting with the girls. And I was so... timid. Mousey. At least in those moments I was. I did everything to be like her, and I suppose people thought that meant something more.'

'But you never fell for another girl again?'

'I wasn't drawn to any in that way. But I looked at things, I thought of things. I wondered if I could actually do any of it.'

'Cassidy said you're a natural,' Brandon replied, almost sounding proud of her. 'I was expecting her to have to really guide you through it. It was beautiful to see you so reckless with her. I was enchanted by it.'

Hanna took the flattery without a girlish blush. 'You didn't want to join us?'

'I was told to keep watch. I always do as I'm told.'

'Have you done other things like this?'

'How much do you want to know?'

She realised she was better off without this information. 'It's none of my business. I don't know why I'm prying.'

'You're allowed to say the same if I ask you anything too personal, Hanna. I'm still fascinated by you; how you were as a child, who you thought you'd be.'

Now Hanna was blushing. 'I never saw myself being in charge of a company. I wanted to ride horses, like my aunt, and own a stud and teach girls to ride like she did. I loved horses. I still do.'

'Why didn't you do it?'

'My parents said it was too silly an ambition, that it didn't make the kind of money someone with my intellect should be able to make. I'd need a real job. So I studied and exceeded their expectations to keep them happy.'

'I thought as much.'

'What drove you?' she asked. 'Was it what happened with your parents?'

'It was all I could do to distract myself and not become a tearaway and let my sister down. She suffered so much more than I did. She was traumatised from witnessing our father burn our mother.'

'Poor thing.' Hanna wished she'd made more of an effort to be friends with Harriet.

'She struggled to cope with the smallest things... She tried so hard to not let it control her.' Brandon was staring off into the middle distance.

'You're still working to distract yourself,' Hanna said. 'To blot out the memory.'

'I was for a long time. I turned to all the typical stuff; drinking, then drugs when I was older. I lost a year to my inebriations. Then I sobered up and found pleasure in other things. I travelled, not that I really found it to be that effective. I never really connected with anyone, so my entanglements were self-serving until I found pleasing others was what made me feel whole. You inspired me in a way. Cassidy has as well. I'm glad I found her.'

'From what she told me, she found you.'

'Yes, this is true. I responded to her fear, she reminded me too much of Harriet for me to just throw her out of the car.'

'Is that why you and she haven't...?'

'Because she's like my little sister? Is that what you're asking?' He didn't even sound disgusted.

'Well, I suppose I mean she's too... familiar for you to see her that way.'

'I feel protective of her, and she's young but I can't tell her how to live. She does these things for me purely for business now.'

'Nothing is ever purely for business. She's a human girl. She's young, and she has attachments to you.'

'She's still an adult and I don't have to acknowledge that. She knows the deal here.'

'Would you do anything to her if I asked?'

'Only if she was alright with it. I know you care for her and I know she's smitten with you. I've not seen her respond to anyone else the way she did the other night. I can tell when she's faking interest and she wasn't with you.'

They were speaking so clinically of something that had been so emotional and terrifying. So raw and animalistic. Their logical points were parried back and forth, and this had Hanna tantalised but wary once more.

'I'm trying to break down some walls and get to know you so we're not strangers. I want to trust you, Brandon. I want... I want us to be...'

'Friends? Associates? Lovers? I'm amenable to all that.'

Hanna stiffened. 'Why do you speak that way?

'What way?

'So coldly. Like everything's a business transaction no matter what. When's the last time you've been held, or even shown someone a stitch of true emotion?'

'Not for a long time.'

She chose then to end the conversation and see if she could break his veneer as severely as he'd cracked hers. She stood over him and he looked up, his eyes passive.

She put out her hand. 'Show me to your room.'

He agreed to this in complete silence, keeping hold of her hand. She didn't care they had the house to themselves, she still had to close the door and shut out the rest of the world. He waited for her to draw the blinds and she found she liked having the shadows around them.

When she stood before him, he gazed down at her and she steeled herself against his charms.

'I can't promise I'll fold that easily,' he said plainly.

She said nothing in return and started unbuttoning his shirt. He remained quiescent, watching her with the same smile. Richard had hated being beneath her, only agreeing to it since it got her off. His wants made no sense.

'How did you think of me back then?' she asked.

Brandon let her push off the shirt but he didn't raise his hands to touch her.

'In a lot of different ways.'

'Tell me one.'

'I pictured you with Olivia, and saw you ravish her until she was completely enamoured of you. I imagined her worshiping you more than you loved her. I think she's a fool for not finding out what you could have done for her.'

Hanna smiled very quickly, now concentrating on his belt. Brandon's hands stayed at his sides but his eyes remained on her.

'I was prepared to do a great deal of things to Olivia. I was going to make her mine. For always. I was obsessed with her, I won't deny that.'

Brandon suddenly grabbed her wrists. 'You've never said this to anyone?'

'No.'

'Do you trust me?'

'Yes.'

She dropped her arms, submissive now as he had been. He pushed down her skirt, leaving her underwear on.

'Take off your shirt,' he said.

She obeyed.

'Turn around.'

She did so. His fingers unbuckled her bra then slid the straps from her shoulders. She didn't turn back and she shivered as he ran his knuckle down the length of her spine. His lips touched the nape of her neck.

'You'll ruin me if I let you,' he murmured.

She glanced over her shoulder. 'Would it be so bad?'

Brandon picked Hanna up, carrying her to the bed and gently lowering her down. He stayed above her, staring at her, and his first kiss landed on her chest. She saw she'd have to wait for his lips to meet hers. Her patience was vital. His fingers eased down her underwear and she parted her legs slightly. He was going to watch her and this wasn't part of her plan.

'Kiss me,' she whispered. 'Now.'

He shook his head. 'Not yet.' His fingertips traced over her hipbone and moved down to her cunt, and she was shaking and wet before he even touched her.

'I watched your face the whole time Cassidy's mouth was on you, Hanna. I couldn't stop thinking about it for days.'

'If I show you again, you're mine right after.'

He scanned her eyes. 'Deal.'

Brandon's tease was as good as Cassidy's. The pair of them were expert at pleasing others, and Hanna had already proven she was more than capable. But she had to show Brandon, he couldn't just be told.

He worked her slowly while she imagined all the things she'd do to him. Her mouth on his cock, her fingernails scratching down his back. She'd ride him, pin him down. Destroy him and leave him breathless. But she held on to her own pleasure, not content to have him finish her off too soon.

In her moment of weakness, she was almost too dazed to carry on, and he'd probably intended this. So she wouldn't have it. With her palm to his cock, she tricked him into submission, her grip distracting him. He was pliant and she had him on his back, refusing to kiss his mouth and planting kisses down his chest and over his hip. She bit the inside of his thigh, making him gasp, then slid her tongue up the length of him over and over before she wrapped her lips around the tip.

Her fingers lightly gripped him at first, her mouth getting lower as she tested herself, keen to smother him if she could. Her lips were small but her mouth was bigger than it looked. His chest locked up and his back arched. She tasted him slightly, sweet on her tongue, and she had to move over him and trap him completely.

Now she could see his face, see his bliss, how it couldn't have been faked, Hanna was burning inside to witness it. His hands slid up her sides to grip her ribcage just under her breasts, pressing hard against her bones, and she liked it. It didn't scare her at all. But she was as slow and teasing as he was. She wanted to be his equal. She made her grip on his cock as tight as possible and pushed him close but wouldn't trip him. When she dragged her nails down his chest, digging deep, his mouth suddenly gaped and his head tipped back. She moved down and grazed her teeth along his jaw, his breath hot on her cheek.

Now he was snared. He drew her beneath him and kissed the skin between her breasts, still gripping her in his hands.

'I knew it,' he murmured, his lips close to her skin. 'I knew you were unbreakable.'

'I've never had a chance to prove it.'

'You must be exhausted now from having to pretend to be something you're not.'

'I refused to become something I could never be. Why it's made everyone hate me, I just can't tell. No one has respected my reasons, so now I want them gone from my life.'

He glanced up at her, his hold still as firm. 'What would you give to have that?'

'Right now, I'd give up my job, my money... Anything to be rid of them.' She kept her gaze from his as she said this. 'I know you think it's just the rawness of everything getting to me and making me say these things, but I'm sure it will still be true a month from now. Or a year.'

'Hanna, when I said you were unfulfilled I knew it had nothing to do with wanting a child. Your power comes from another place entirely. It's not what you're meant for.'

'Then what am I meant for?'

'I can't tell you that. All I can tell is you seem to be seeking permission to find this out. You're scared of running as much as you say you want to; scared of making a choice that will alienate you from everyone you know.'

'Would it matter if they did? They're only out to hurt me anyway.'

His gestures then told her he was trying to comfort her, and she was weak to it, at last losing a hold on herself and her composure. She was frail enough to cry, yet this time she didn't push it down. Brandon accepted it, every tear that hit his skin and every sigh she made when she tried to catch her breath.

She wasn't sure how long he stayed after she fell asleep. She woke up alone yet didn't feel abandoned for it. After she took a shower she dressed in light fitting clothes. Usually the minute she got home, she would scramble out of whichever miniskirt and tight blouse she'd worn to work. She needed to breathe.

The sun was setting, she'd slept most of the day. Hanna couldn't find Brandon but she wasn't really searching for him. With Cassidy gone, the house felt empty, and Hanna was grateful for it, weirdly unconcerned she'd been deserted. She made herself some coffee and sat out on the balcony.

The trees up the embankment were knitted close together. She knew she couldn't stay forever but the idea of it was appealing to her. Hanna had no delusions she and Brandon were now together, and was yet to feel her affections deepen. She was happier the leaden rod that was once stuck in her spine had now vanished; the weight on her chest now gone. She hadn't touched her pills in over a day. Her head was clearer for it.

She was so calm she wasn't even startled for the front door opening. She listened to a set of keys hit a table, then to the footsteps down the corridor, and she didn't feel like standing to attention. She kept her place and waited to be found.

Brandon's presence hardly felt like an intrusion. In their apartment, Richard was more like to crowd her when she needed the most space.

'Something came up at the office,' he explained unapologetically.

'It's fine. I wasn't worried.'

He seemed pleased to hear this. 'I thought as much. Has Cassidy called?'

'Not that I'm aware. Are you worried about her?'

'No. She only contacts me if someone's bothering her. Most of the time she's fine.' Brandon held out his hand to her and she took it. 'Come inside. It's getting cold.'

Hanna asked him what the emergency was at his office. Once he was in the kitchen she maintained her distance with the suspicion he was much like her after leaving a stressful situation. There was nothing to discuss of what happened that morning, the lack of awkwardness was a comfort to her.

'Missing signatures on several important documents,' he answered. 'The temp we hired that week was somewhat of a flake.'

'Bridget would never do that to me.'

Brandon took off his jacket and tossed it onto the table. 'Where did you find her? I'd clone her if I had the means.'

'She was recommended to me by a colleague of Richard's. She likes to be kept on her toes. She also found you utterly irresistible.'

He smirked at this. 'I'd make a mess of her in two minutes.'

'Oh, she's well aware of that. Trust me, there's a little minx under that bubbly exterior. She's a little too open with me sometimes.'

'Feel terrible for her boyfriend, in that case.'

'She's into the casual arrangements. I kind of admire her for that.'

'It's easier than it sounds. Detachment is important. It's useful for survival.' He went past her. 'Help yourself to anything you like. I need to take a shower.'

Now she was edgy. She took a few things from the fridge and sat at the counter to pick at them, another glass of wine beside her. The front door opened again and Cassidy appeared a moment later.

'You're back early,' Hanna said lightly.

'It was an afternoon thing. Out of town businessmen. Goddamn cretins, never let anyone convince you they're all polite like Brandon. I only put up with people like that if they have endless wads of cash to compensate.'

Cassidy was fixing herself a glass of gin and tonic as she relayed her day. She then put her bag on the counter and took out a purse, emptying it in front of Hanna. It was the remains of some kind of white powder and another dime bag of pot.

'Party favours from the clients. It's part of the deal.'

'How about I make you some tea?' Hanna suggested, more shocked by her motherly tone than the drugs. 'You seem on edge.'

Cassidy shook off her bemusement and smiled. 'That'd be nice. I take it Brandon's in the shower?'

Hanna had trouble finding anything that resembled tea in the overhead cupboards. There was a lot of boxes of herbs and spices, dry goods that hadn't been opened and tins of expensive appetisers.

'Top left,' Cassidy instructed. 'But don't give me sleepy time, I'm not ready for bed.'

'Never worked for me, personally.'

'Hence the Ativan?'

'It's something to get me through.'

'We all have something, Hanna.' Cassidy leaned on the counter and twirled her hair with her finger. 'I take it you and Brandon fucked while I was out.'

'If you could call it that,' Hanna said. She wanted to keep the peace and not be combative, so she didn't play into any potential arguments Cassidy was gunning for.

'Was it good?'