All Comments on 'Hook, Lie and Sinker'

Although hubby was pretty wimpy in his compensation for the ex.

Competent recitation of a blameless man's betrayal, his bloodless hyper-rational response, and his textbook divorce. He is Oh So Fair but in reality quite cruel. I expect his hot divorce lawyer will be joining him in Australia. Bonus!

I've read this story before with different details, but always with the same sub-current of seething rage born of first hand experience. Twenty-five percent for good spelling and punctuation.

Loved the Way he worded his Reply ..She thought she could have it all instead She got Stuffed and Not like a Turkey but more like a Bitch.

That was a great story....I really enjoyed it.

Calm, cool and collected....good read. Thank you

That was a great story....I really enjoyed it.

Calm, cool and collected....good read. Thank you

Characters more lifelike than most. Except the cheating wife was very stupid.

Liked the story. Well written.

More please !!

Well writen and interesting, I enjoyed reading it very much. Thanks......Rich

the ending went resolute and well. veronica is not a character you can shed much sympathy or understanding for, so the resolute, decisive ending by Michael's proactive doing, via his lawyer Karen, was a good one. no fake tears or other dramatic attempts.

I like it the story plot a lot, but it will be interesting an aftermath, what happened with Veronica?

All that and a bonus of well written.<P>

Marital Consequence is an emotional arena of which there are millions of stories possible given our society of many selfish people of both genders.<P>

This story was well told and hopefully the first of many from this author. As he evidenced there was no need for explicit sex scenes or contorted personalities just two people shaped by conscience or lack of it which is like life unfortunately - for one of them.<P>

Nice work Author - it was credible. You are appreciated and looked forward to.<P>

With High Regard

It is the wife that was cruel, brutal, and very much vengeful. It is almost as if she were blaming the husband for her genetic background that prevented her from having children and she was taking revenge on her husband. How much harsher and disrespectful can a spouse be than to take the money that the other makes and use it simply to spend on your lover? How much more hurtful can one be than to live a lie with your spouse and totally betray them at every move. It would have been one thing if she had been an actual loving wife but she simply came in to live with her husband and provided no real love and affection for him. The husband was much nicer than I would have been I assure you, the divorce would have been based on adultry and the other persons name drug thru the mud. Sorry Anony in USA I believe in an eye for an eye.........

I think the story is great so far but what happened to the ending? He makes a second tape, but what is on it.? What happens with the divorce? It looks like you are heading for him to start a relationship with his attorney, but for that to happen he will need to come back from Australia or she go there. I hope there is a part 2 coming.

Continue the good writing.

No imagination, nothing even interesting in the telling. It is a simple outline of every story here. Be suspicious, hire a PI, get the goods, divorce her and see how much it hurts her. Has this plot been done a few times?

good story right to the point.

The only good thing you'll get out of reading this story is a marginally improved understanding of spelling and sentence structure.

but incomplete in the sudden end.who was the lover,what happen to wife and hubby after the divorce and what the lawyer and hubby find in love.

a common plot but well done. a second chapter would catch my attention, if you could think of a way to make the characters a little less predictable. You need to feature the wife more in the second chapter

Could have used more emotions, a cheating spouse is tramatic no matter what and his anger and hurt didn't come out also no revenge and the need to inflict a little hurt on boyfriend is always there. All that said it was easy to read and I enjoyed it. Perhaps a part 2 where he gets a love life and the ex's new life without him. thanks.

Far better than most totally unbelievable stories of cheating wives. This type of story is far more 'real' than those types of stories. This is a well written and true to life story. Well done Ntropy586. Thanks for writing.

I thought it was well-written and involving, but I found it hard to take Veronica's character seriously. Could he have been married to her for so long without becoming aware of her utter self-absorption and lack of connection with reality? She was rather hard to believe. Still--good story, and I look forward to more. Thanks, ohio

I like the premise though not so enamored of the carrying it out. You portray the puta as an empty headed twat and according to the early part of your story she is nothing like that. To switch from that to the empty headed puta is far too quick. In addition you bring the concluding end too quickly to have anything like an 'explanation' of her behavior. No way is an association with 'society' putas over a relatively short time going to 'change' a reasonable intelligent puta to an empty headed twat. Take longer to make that explanation next time please.

A very good story. Cheaters never win and in the end she got it the BIG D.

It is well constructed and well written, so much so, that it seems awfully well done for a "first timer". I'm looking forward to seeing more of your work.

Excellent story, and well written.

-- KK in Texas

he still gave her to much...and i still think he should have brought her lover down also and made it known in the circles she wanted to run in that she was a cheater and she was the one at fault for breaking up her marriage....she can then blame the idiots that gave her the advice to take a lover....maybe she can now sue them also or bring their affairs to light also so they get hurt as bad as she did....they both got off to light

Very good story told by a good storyteller. Some unanswered questions remain, however. How do Michael and his attorney, Karen, maintain contact and how does a relationship develop?

Does Karen move to Australia? (a good place to go, by the way)<p>

Oh, and what is the age difference between Karen and Michael?

As you can see, I am lobbying for sequel, or an additional story, based on the romantic adventures of Mike and Karen, with perhaps some lead-in as to what happens to Victoria.<p>

My request in no way diminishes "Hook, Lie and Sinker", but acknowledges that it is a good enough story to warrant a follow-up.

Thanks!

the divorce will also give him another chance of having kids. i like the story, wish it was longer.

But -- The wife's characterization was unconvincing. How is it possible to live with such a self-centered and insensitive bitch and not know it? A believable wife in this kind of story, one who is sympathetic and loving during their marriage and then strays is much, much more difficult to write and more difficult to explain the breakup with sensitivity.

Loved it! Would like to see more stories like this on the site.

Very well written; but the wife's character was sadly lacking in any real depth or emotion. As well, the steroetypical divorce lawyer who "specializes in adultery cases" was overdone. How about a cutthroat "I don't care if you're guilty I'll win by any means possible" attorny...that's the guy/girl I want backing me up.

Excellent. I tend to agree with some commentators about the somewhat shallow depiction of the wife. The story is well edited for an inclusion in Literotica, but there are a few lapses. Consider the following sentences.

"Well, I know where she got that hare-brained idea in her head from," Michael answered. "It's from those society biddy's she volunteers with. Like I had realized, our marriage is well-and-truly dead, and now we only need the last rites of a divorce decree to complete the job." //

I know this is a quote; nevertheless eliminate "from" in the 1st sentence. You don't make a plural with an apostrophe - Biddy's; "Like", as used in the 3rd sentence is wrong: "like" is a preposition not a conjunction. //

All in all, this story is one of the best.

Very enjoyable. Veronica's drift into cloud cuckoo land after finding that she could not have a baby is quite believable and there are people who live by the rules that her acquaintances sold her! The best revenge is to live well and without guilt or regrets. This is always tough because there are always, what if? questions and even though you have been fucked over you can recognize that at the same time you fucked up, too! Australia could be a great place to live well.

Good first try at writing. I liked the story, but some things needed improving. Maybe more info on why wife turned from a great wife to a cheating whore. For realism more hurt and anger from the husband. The story begs for a Chapter 2, what was on the second tape, will he and his attorney have a relationship, what happened to the wife after the divorce. And to me, as I'm not a turn the other cheek type, revenge fire and brimstone brought down on wife's lover. Anyway, liked the story, you have a solid basis to build on and keep writing. Thanks for a good read.

woodmanone.

Its still incomplete. You <i>should<i/>continue with this tale.<p>Good job<p/>

An interesting and well told entry in the challenging Loving Wives genre. Looking forward to reading more stories from this author in the LW area.

I would like to see at least two more chapters in this story. One chapter from Veronica's POV and another concluding with Michael finding a HEA possibly with his attorney. Looking forward to reading more stories from this author.

Well written and an enjoyable read. Look forward to chapter two - tell us what happens next!

Nice story. I hope you continue with a few more chapters

It seems that yet another wife is fooled by the social trappings of the rich and famous sluts of the upper crust.

Good story THX.

Even in the end she didn't show any remorse. Originally, she seemed loving nd affectionate, now, cold and possibly stunned into a trance. You should write an Epilogue stating that she wakes up months later, crying, now conscious of what she had done, quits her charities, her lover and sits staring out the window, quietly, shaking, crying and wishing she could start it all over.

I suggest the Epilogue because she seems totally oblivious to love, common sense and her conduct once he confronted her.

Great story, I loved it, he was too fair with the Alinony!

What's the point of this story? It's just a divorce, who cares? No twists, no turns and no sex. Stop wasting our time.

Very good read but I really hate when a story is left hanging. Just give a few more paragraphs about her choice and what happens to him.

If this is your first publish story it is certainly very good. The plot is rather conventional but the story is very well written, and the syntactics and spelling are nearly perfect. Try to find more original story lines and you have the potential to become one of the best writers in the site. I have already bookmarked you as one of my favorites. Welcome to the site and please keep the stories coming.

<p>There was entirely too much time spent on <b>the mechanics</b> of the divorce as opposed to the subtleties of the relationship. I would have preferred that you omitted all of the legal discussion in favor of more exchanges between the spouses. You've only provided a glimpse of Veronica, and there is obviously much more to her that should have been exposed.</p>

<p>Why tell us of Veronica's fertility problems if you were not going to explore this further in the conflict? And who cares about whether one's divorce lawyer is tall and elegant? We knew more about that tangential character than the wife.</p>

<p>And as to the divorce, why is it so often written that the husband is trying to be fair in the settlement? Why should the husband advise that his wife hire a good attorney? If I were in the midst of divorce battle then <b>I want as much of my assets as possible and I'd be hoping for my wife to have the world's worst attorney.</b> An aggrieved spouse who wants their adulterous partner to have a fair settlement is a fool, and I wish such characters would be banished from these stories.</p>

<p>As it was, this was a fair first story and I hope to see more well rounded stories from you in the future.</p>

As others have said, too much detail on the mechanics and not enough time on the emotional aspect of the confrontation, denial and possible remorse. No revenge on the lover - that sucks & makes this male character wimpy. Perhaps follow up with another chapter of these suggestions and the male character getting together with the female attorney.

Ntropy, I see that, even though you live in Michigan, you got the school right.

Is there not a web site for bitter divorced men that this sort of story could go on instead?

...crappy story. Nothing hot or erotic about it. Just another bitter guy who couldn't handle a hot woman. Chump.

But not the sinker. Some of the comments noted the lack of erotic content. I didn't see any promise of erotic content, only a story of a "loving wife" which tends to mean one who lets other men into her pussy. Perhaps there could be a category for Divorce Stories.

For me to give it full marks the story would need a happier ending for the now ex-husband.

I must disagree with several of the previous comments. The story was complete in its form. It flowed nicely. It kept the same direct tone and format. It was the story of a man taking charge of the destruction of his marriage and doing what had to be done, nothing dramatic or over the top. I liked it.

relationship between the cuckold husband and the slut wife. Nothing further is needed. And the story ends here it does not need or deserve another chapter unless of course his secretary and the lawyer fly to Australia to be with him.

I thought this story was quite original and showed more talent than many in this genre.

As you had hinted at a continuation in your second story 'Vanessa' I intended to comment after the last chapter, but have kept this on my 'Favorites' to remind me to check for updates.

Have you changed your mind after some of the negative remarks from other posters. If so, please don't let yourself be too dismayed or discouraged by that.

It's a good story and, although it could do with a little more emotion from the wife's side, it really interested me and made me want to read more.

Whether you continue or not (and I obviously hope you do) thank you for your talent and willingness to put your efforts on the line to be shot down by some of our less than positive readers.

Norman

I look forward to more of your work.

Make any household expense money minimal (less than $500) and otherwise tighten the conditions. Those that gave her the advise aren't hurt. And the guy, anything to screw with him about?

More choices for her, where the amounts she spent were a debit against any money she was to receive; be it the $500 or any other amount.

He might as well recover as completley as possible. How about a call to one of the husbands of the ladies for a headsup on their wives?

I would give her the house that's it.

Excellent and enjoyable reading. Well done Nthropy !

example of well done story writing, along with very good thought out themes within. Well done author. R.T.

Good and well though out story.

Five stars. What more need be said?

I couldn't find one thing I like about either character. He's a cold fish if I ever saw one. His wife of 13 years is cheating and he slightly chokes up once through the whole thing? His wife comes home and doesn't want to talk after being with her lover so he sits down and, writes her a letter? Boy, now there's passion!

If he made love like he does everything else here it's now wonder she found herself someone else.

And her, absolutely no remorse at all? after 13 years?

These two deserve each other.

Sorry, I just think it's every this easy after 13 years, unless they already hate each other which, in this case, didn't seem to be. This is completely unbelievable to me...unless, of course, they were just two ass-holes to start with.

and eazy to understand. TK U MLJ LV NV

I enjoyed your story. It would be good to see more from you.

I loved it...although I suspect the female readers might feel differently.

End of story. Here we have a cheating wife who believes in her heart that she did nothing wrong by having a lover getting exactly what she deserves.

NOTHING

Ha ha FUCK HER AND ALL CHEATERS LIKE HER

Thanks for sharing.

...could have used some more details, like how and why she ended up with Matt. I would also have liked more on Veronica's reactions at the end. All in all, a good story well told. Thank you for sharing.

I actually agree. No more needs to be said. The way you ended it was perfect, and the reader knows exactly what her decision will be. Good for him!

"Michael was now sitting in his den with two fingers of Jack Daniels . . . .Perhaps it was the bourbon which allowed him to keep his face neutral and friendly . . . ."

Jack Daniels is neither bourbon nor does it claim to be.

Well said, vanesca.

But the company does not want that for some reason... and who cares anyway?

Ice? Fuck up good jack with ice?

Another with no follow up, no concluding chapter.

Oh well.....

Of course there are some exceptions, for instance when Veronica told her soon to be ex-husband that she believed that having an affair outside of their marriage would strengthen their marriage. At this point the husband should have replied that the affair had actually resulted in more than a month of marital sex, which of course flies in the face of ill conceived logic. It actually amazes me that a wife who had been married over a decade would be so easily convinced to follow a path that would drive a wedge between herself and her husband and would have the potential to destroy their marriage forever.

One dumb slut

for the short tale it was, and again nother hanging the readers out to dry ending.

3*** because of another authors non ending

No, no, not the story. I can understand and ehh, so so accept this author's chosen abrupt ending.

For all the commentators who complain about the way writers cutoff the endings to their stories. I gotta tell you, it very difficult to come up with a reasonable finale to stories about human lives. Many big name, published and popular authors fuck their endings up, just to get the goddamn job done and on to the next one.

My complaint about 'gummy aftertaste' is all the commentators, please do not excuse the pun, suffering the bad taste to be drinking bourbon and other corn whiskeys.

It is my experienced opinion that it is the extra sugar the distillers add that give corn liquors a gummy aftertaste that I personally do not care for.

Yeah, yeah, I know, you'all swear up and down on a stack of bible states that you haven't been caught slipping the mickey to your mash. {insert Bronx cheer here}

That is why I drink Rye whiskey. And not that Canadian crap either, their liquor laws allow the distillers to add corn, sugar and other junk to their batches.

This story had great potential but it ended in mid air. What was written was very good but it ended extremely poorly. So what's next? 3stars. I rated three stars because what was written was really a very good start.

There was and ending clearly and simply -

He left and moved on and got a divorce - all done

Which version of the divorce - like he said - the one without a future for them -

She made a choice - almost certainly the moderately comfortable one - but who the hell cares - she did not get what she wanted or thought she could manipulate - good for him.

these stories on this site are short stories and as such don't need to have a resolution. so you all need to know that and stop your whingeing that the story doesn't have an ending

Yet another story ruined by the incomplete ending. Regardless of what the previous commentator said, it would not take much to put a more detailed ending to this story. The author doesn't need to take it out the next 50 years, but resolutions to things like the divorce, his maybe relationship with his attorney, his job down under. Simple things and not a lot of words required. Even the famous words, "Once upon a time", required an ending.

I would have loved to see a bit more resolution, especially regarding he and his lawyer and his soon to be ex-wife's obvious mental issues.

Fairly well written. But in the end, I would have liked to see more details regarding her reaction to the video and how the divorce played out. I also would have liked to see if the relationship you alluded to, between Michael and Karen, came to anything.

Maybe next time.

Will Veronica accept or fight the divorce? Will he pursue a relationship with Karen? So many questions, so few answers. And without a sequel, a good score isn't possible.

Is the female attorney ready for very early retirement and a move to Australia? I can't imagine being married to a woman like V who is not too bright and/or delusional. Or was it just the writing? Very good story.

It has become a sad state when authors nowadays do not know how to write. I teach high school students who can write complete stories, and with fewer errors. I can only surmise that the recent increase in writers on this site who can not write stories shows that they have not taken a writing course ever. It is a shame when the good writers no longer contribute to this site, and it has become infested with illiterate individuals.

I enjoyed as far as it went. By the way why did you stop writing? You should continue

Im a vindictive mf....I certainly would have insisted on the second option, adultery. I'm in Australia, she doesn't get a fucking dime from me. During the two week period I would have gotten a loan on the house. Let that stupid whore try to pay for it.

The story is still well written in my opinion, but to me , the narrator was an idiot for working to the point of exhaustion where he couldn´t f__k his wife for months at a time. He deserved to be cuckolded. As for the wife ? She's the equivalent of a year old Lab retriever that left to their own devices will destroy a household.

Still a very good story, but I appreciate it now from an entirely new paradigm approximately that of Cesar Millan's ( the dog whisperer ) .

what happened?

What ever else, NO ONE deserves to be cuckolded!

The story is just 'right' nothing less would do and more would be decoration.

More stories please!

along came ATT KELLY. TK U MLJ LV NV

This isn't a high school course on drama. It's a sex site. Boring.

Forget what the moronic naysayers spout. The author spelled out the terms after Michael found out. Grammar was good, only one or two misspellings I found.

I would have like to read more about Veronica however, how she dealt with the divorce and of course, how she either ended up with the clap, HIV or just spent a miserable life and watched from afar as Michael remarried, had children and then grandchildren.

the short tape that he made but did not mention again. That would have been shown to Veronica if she started getting uppity. That was what would have scandalized the 'society' friends of hers. IMHO. Liked over all, and after reading JPB's stuff, you learn to like the open ending some what.

I liked it. It could have done with another paragraph on Veronica's reaction and, presumably, her mental collapse. What happened to Matt Lambert?

I agree with the last comment. Just one more paragraph. Oh well.

She's relatively young, attractive just got a decent divorce settlement. No kids to worry about, she'll go back to work at some point find another man and move on with her life.

You write well.

Your storyline began unraveling as it progressed.

First, I recommend that you read Rehnquist's article:

http://www.literotica.com/s/a-crash-course-in-family-law

I thought that your trigger for the flashback was weak. "Michael's world suddenly shut down, as his mind retreated to those happier times in the past." You just find out that you're married to a cheater, and you flash back to happier times? Not likely.

Next, why all the hoopla about the PI doing weeks of surveillance? After the first time he could document the affair, stop. Why spend thousands for weeks of investigation, especially as it makes little or no difference? Just find out and then stop.

Since his wife did not work, he'd most likely have to give her a 60/40 or even a 70/30 split. He'd pay alimony. The Judge would take into account her ability to re-enter the job market and what income she could reasonably expect. Oh, most courts would base it upon his new level of income. A few judges will reduce it when it comes out that she cheated. However, they usually are cagey enough not to state it directly.

Any competent family law attorney can do an excellent job. It really isn't that hard. The worst cases usually are due to idiot attorneys. I don't know of a single attorney/firm that a good attorney would be afraid of in family law. We're not.

I love men who try to hide income or quit working. Eventually patience and a good attorney will get them. Property division and alimony will be based upon his potential if he just quits It becomes a judgment that can be renewed. Wage garnishments can be embarrassing, especially after many years of failing to pay.

So, in your story, his attorney should have told him this when he threatened to quit. Anyway, he's going to give up going Down Under? Stupid.

If you are going to write about something you don't know, find out. I don't know any jurisdiction in the USA where a spouse can serve divorce papers. Oh, I spent 2 minutes with Google to confirm that. Try "can a spouse serve divorce papers"

Once served, the clock is running. If the respondent does not answer, guess who gets screwed? YOU DON"T NEED HIS/HER signature! Just proof of service. It does make it a trifle more expensive for motions but nothing significant.

I did like how your attorney had the sheriff verify that she was OK when he left.

Lastly, it seems to be a requirement here that wives lose all their brains. Honestly, re-read their final face to face. In 30 years of doing this, I have yet to meet a woman who is college educated that suffered from such an advanced case of RAS - Rocks Are Smarter. Really.

I think that a little more effort on your part could have made this an excellent story.

Sorry,

Tom

for unfinished tale,,,,my opinion,