All Comments on 'Horny Dungeon Adventures Ch. 01'

Looks promising. Hope we will see more of this.

This is certainly a new and interesting take on an old game. The sound of the dice rolling in their heads and time slowing down during the rolling is a nice touch. The character possibilities are nearly endless in their immersive world. Having their physical bodies show a reaction to what's going on in the game world also has some good potential going forward with this storyline. This story could also be expanded to have multiple players, just like the real games of that type.

Hopefully we will also learn why Alex was having such a bad week at work and really seemed to need the nights excursions to take her mind off of it. Maybe we could find out a bit more about the two main characters.

All in all, there is a lot of potential in this story. It was well written and definitely interesting. I look forward to your next story. Thank you for sharing with us.

Wonderful start!

First of all, I think its commendable that you've included a trans character in a sapphic story under the "lesbian sex" category. It's great to see the a story that focuses more on sexual idenity coming from gender perception than on making trans characters a sexual curiosity or kink. Trans rights, hell yes!

Secondly, I found the story quite enjoyable; the premise hits the right balance between erotic and ridiculous to be a hot, fun read. I love the nerdy vibe, the modern slang and the characterization of the girls to be contemporary queer young adults. It honeslty left me wanting more, especially considering the endless possibilities for encounters that Alex and Jess could explore.

My only advice is that the story could really benefit from slowing down the pace, adding more descriptive detail and overall felshing both the set up and the sex a bit more. Not that what you've done is bad in any regard, but I felt like it was over too quick. With such open possibilities at your disposal, giving the reader more sensory descriptors, adding further stages of heat-up and foreplay before the sex scene and just making the enouncter a bit more prolonged could really go a long ways.

Still, as I said, really solid star. Enjoy your 5 stars, you've earned them. Keep it up!

This is not a lesbian story.