All Comments on 'Hot Chicago Ch. 01: Night Train'

Your story has great potential, but you need an editor. As an example I'm not sure what you meant by " felt Engels hopping Dick.

Perhaps you would have preferred, "...felt Engel's dick, which was hopping, slow down..." ? For my part, i preferred the active structure. :-) MP2

The story seems stuck in first gear - It doesn't seem to have improved much since the first chapter long ago.

Reader comments are always welcome. :-) MP2