All Comments on 'Hot Library Babe - Tales of The Young Magician Ch. 01'

I liked your story however it felt lazy. You have a good grasp of writing English, that much is clear. So why do you write like a txt message. It would have flowed a LOT better without the constant HLB and TYM. describe them once and given them a name... it works a whole lot better. I would also suggest the use of more descriptive adjectives. I loved your concept and your writing otherwise.

I agree with Master_Doctor. Good writing but the constant back and forward of the characters makes the story feel disjointed and less great than it could have been. It doesn’t feel lazy to me, more like you tried a new writing style that didn’t work out so well.

You write well tho so I hope you keep writing.

Too fast, too easy... Just makes it boring.