All Comments on 'Hot Southern Daze'

This was an excellent first story. Be careful of changing the tenses (past and present)-stay with either one but not both. Otherwise, I've got the same problem as your repair man--you made it hard.

Maineman4UUU

choose a tense. This is either occurring now or happened in the past--can't be both. Also, read through your work for mistakes like after the repairman arrives, the narrator "immediately went to work." Takes the reader out of the story.

A nice "hot" little story. Aside from the changes in verb tense, it was quite decent. My one question, though, is why the "mature" category? There was nothing indicative of one or both of the characters being "mature," so it could've worked just as well being in the "erotic couplings" category...

As the others have said your change in tenses is distracting but don't worry when you first start it can be hard because I still have the same problem at times.

It is a hot story but the He's and I's lose me a bit. Think of adjectives to stick in front of the he's or I's or incorporate them into the sentence. Other than that, a good story. Does she know the repairman's name???? LOL

A hot story with a good storyline although an editor to help with the verb tenses would make the story better.